Gypsum joke

Just stripped naked.

A hunter was hunting and saw two birds in the tree. He shot down one with a gun and found it hairless. The hunter was wondering when another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: "Damn you! I just stripped her naked and you knocked her down! "

Pigs are strange.

One day, classmate A said to classmate B, "You look like a pig, so I will call you a pig in the future.". One day, classmate B shouted to classmate A, "I'm not a pig! ".

1+ 1=?

One day, Xiaoming's teacher asked him, "What is 1+ 1?" Nickname said: I don't know. So the teacher asked him to go home and ask his parents.

Xiao Ming came home and asked his mother that she was putting on makeup. He said, "Oh, it's beautiful today!" Xiaoming went to ask his father who was reading a newspaper. He said, "President Bush said so." Then Xiao Ming went to ask his brother who was watching the football match and said, "Good shot!" Finally, Xiao Ming asked his sister again. His sister is calling her friend and saying, "Oh, Lili, I don't have time today! Next time! "

The next day, the teacher asked the nickname: "1+ 1=?" The nickname said, "Oh, it's beautiful today!" The teacher said, "Who told you that?" The nickname added, "Bush of the United States said it." The teacher kicked the nickname angrily. The nickname added "Good shot!" The teacher said, "Come to my office after school this afternoon!" " The nickname said, "Lily, I'm not free today! Next time! "

Warm fart on the bus

Xiao Gan is a beautiful and moving woman, but her digestive system is not very good, so she often farts. On this day, Xiao Gan farted on the bus again ... Liang Xiao, a classmate standing next to her, immediately said, "Sorry, I farted just now", which immediately won Xiao Gan's grateful eyes.

However, after a while, Xiao Gan came to another ... Another classmate Xiao Jiang went on to say, "I'll put that. I am really sorry! " "Also grateful to look at the ginger.

However, she couldn't help but fart loudly and smelly ... At this moment, another classmate, Xiao Chen, hurriedly said, "Ladies and gentlemen, the fart that this lady put in the future is mine."

A love letter from a cat to a mouse

Dear Jiale: Ever since I put Bigfoot on your elegant back that day, I've fallen into crazy love. Your beautiful mung bean eyes, your petite beautiful image, and the charm of looking back and smiling after you broke away from my clutches haunt me all the time.

Dear Jiale, I really love you.

As the saying goes, some people are fucking lonely and cats are fucking lonely, but my master doesn't understand my love for you. He fired me for neglecting my duty. Do you know how I felt when I left my master's house? I am a cat's head every three steps! But I have no regrets.

Because I love you, I gave up a good meal and a fleshy job and became a street bum. Do you understand my pain?

Squeak. I wanted to give you 9999 roses, but I had to steal a human magazine full of flowers to give you because I had no money. Because my identity is not suitable for your parents to see for the time being, I have secretly put it next to your boudoir, and you can get it at your convenience. I miss you day after day.

Jiale, my heart misses you and my stomach misses you. I look forward to seeing you. Kissyou, if you refuse my kiss and pat me with your little hand, at least I will see the stars of love shining hopefully when the eyes are dark.

A bad ending for students

When we were in high school, some teachers were very bad to our students. A group of students have been oppressed for a long time. They are discussing how to punish their teachers. On this day, the teacher is in class. A boy sitting in the back row showed a painful expression and groaned gently with his hand over his stomach. The teacher ignored him and went on preaching. The middle teacher just turned around and wrote notes on the blackboard. Suddenly, the boy is "concave" ... Wow! "(Vomiting) A boy at the same table poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge on the boy's table at a very fast speed. When the teacher turned around, he saw that the table was full of yellow and white things. At this time, another boy took out a small spoon, scooped up the things on the table one by one, and said while chewing, "Hey, this guy ate peanuts at noon." The teacher looked at it, said "Wow … concave …" and then vomited wildly.

= = Lay eggs = =

At a bus terminal, there is a bus waiting. The seats on the bus are full.

At this time, a woman sitting in the middle door seat of the carriage got up and bought a ticket from the front door conductor. At the same time, a female comrade came through the middle door and sat down when she saw a vacant seat. The woman who went to buy a ticket came back and found that her seat was occupied by someone else. She immediately raised her eyebrows and shouted, "It's quite fast to lay eggs."

The lesbian sitting was stunned at first, and suddenly she saw the ticket in her hand. Suddenly she seemed to understand something. She got up and sat down, apologizing, "I'm sorry to have delayed your lower berth."

Xiehouyu:

A Dou's Jiangshan-Free Delivery

A sinus figure-no ability

Ah Er blowing sheng-Keep your word.

Al is a doctor-no one dares to invite him.

String performance in Arneman Street

Brother eats noodles-scrape

Grandma has a beard-not normal.

Aqingsao pours tea and drops water; Not a drop leaks.

Whips don't hit sticks-eat soft and eat hard.

The beaten dog bit a chicken-take it out on others.

Beaten tortoise-shrinking its neck

Ducks are running around with knives.

Apologize for being slapped.-Flattery.

A dog with a stick-depressed.

Ducks scurrying about

Fat pig with a knife-not afraid of scalding water

A ball with a knife-it's flat.

The grass on the frosted dog's tail has faded.

Eating sea pepper by the stove-I have a fever inside and outside.

A short staircase leads to a high room-it's hard to say (eaves)

Short people wear high heels-their height is limited.

The dwarf hit the wolf-it is not enough to shout.

Dwarfs fly kites-higher and higher; Steady rise

Shorty fart-humble.

Dwarf sightseeing echo

A dwarf crosses the river-peace of mind

Short people watch the play-listen.

The dwarf pulls out the general-he will make do with materials; Choose a better one on the whole.

The dwarf climbed the stairs-longing (longing)

The dwarf climbed the hill step by step; May you be promoted step by step!

Short woman-low knowledge

Dwarf riding a big horse-dilemma; Up-down dilemma

The dwarf is going to heaven-I don't know how small he is; Delusion; Golden Millet Dream―sheer daydream

Short people sit on high stools-out of reach; Up and down out of reach; Up-down dilemma

Love to complain, love to be a hero-poor and quarrelsome.

Wooden fish in Antang-let people fight.

Quails want to eat the fruit from the tree-they can't reach it; Think of good things; Want to be beautiful

Watching people drown on the shore-from the ruins

Fishing for the moon on the shore-in vain; be invalid

Buy shoes according to other people's sizes-mechanical reproduction.

Beggars who press colored balls-silly with joy

Take the medicine according to the prescription-do it

Pecking rice according to the head of a chicken-in vain

Drinking water according to the cow's head-impossible; Can't do

Press the gourd and lift the ladle-regardless of the tail; Rise in succession

Top door of wide tube of chopping block

Rolling pin on the chopping board-bachelor

Meat on the chopping block-slaughtered; Kill at will

Fish on the chopping block-a commodity with a knife

Stalking-sneaking around

Fight secretly-fight blindly for a while.

Needle piercing in darkroom-sadness

Secretly stumble-wither.

Burn out the lamp oil-burn the heart (core)

Burn ice on the melted soup of tobacco.

Pancakes on tobacco-tossing and turning

Eight hundred dollars fell into the well-which one is hard to touch?

The flagpole erected 800 years ago-the old bachelor

A string of 800 copper coins-out of step (hanging)

Sprinkle pepper on the eight-treasure rice-add another flavor

Eight generations of old scores-I can't tell.

Eight-inch shoes-embarrassing

A small cylinder with eight barrels hanging on it-it can't hold a stone.

Starlings peck at persimmons-pick soft ones.

Eight old fists-three orders and five applications (extension)

Eight dollars for gypsum dyeing

A bowl of wonton is eight yuan-no noodles.

Eight crooked necks are sitting at a table-no one is looking at anyone.

The format of stereotyped writing-sameness

Sleep in the gossip stove-steaming hot.

Riding in the eight diagrams-there is no escape; It is difficult to find a way out

Grade 8 Engineering Technology-Excellence

Eight-level masters learn skills-old people have a sense of security and old people have a sense of learning.

Star anise fell into the cesspit-fragrant and smelly; Smell and smell are inseparable.

Eight and a half pounds of tortoise swallowed a heavy weight-cruel bastard.

Eight and a half pounds of old tortoise swallowed a cruel bastard.

Eight-and-a-half-pound tortoise-the rules are not small.

Eighty people are carrying sedan chairs-that's awesome.

The 80-year-old man shook his head in disgust-involuntarily; This is not for anyone to decide.

The 80-year-old man blew the lamp-he couldn't breathe; breather

An 80-year-old man practicing pipa-a cliche (playing)

Eighty-year-olds learn boxing-the more they practice, the stronger they become.

An 80-year-old man learns his craft-he works hard when he is old.

An 80-year-old debt-no successor

Shaving at 80-not old enough

The 80-year-old man shoulders the heavy burden-the heart is willing, but the strength is not enough.

An old idea 80 years ago

Eighty years old, childless, old and lonely.

Having a son at the age of 80-each generation is worse than the next.

Dancing innocently at the age of eighty

Playing with monkeys at the age of 80-an old trick

Learn to play the flute at the age of 80-full of old tunes; hackneyed theme

Learn to fight at the age of 80-fight hard

An 80-year-old actor pretends to be a child-rejuvenation

Standing at the counter at the age of 80-always good at it

Eight or five dozen rabbits, not worth the candle.

Eight immortals crossing the sea-each showing his magical powers

The Eight Immortals Party-Dialogue with God

This square table is uneven because it lacks a leg.

Put the lamp on the table of the Eight Immortals-obviously.

Square table-angular

Eight wise kings enter the palace-hard to please.

Bitter gourd in August-red heart

Lotus root in August-fresh and tender

Pomegranate in August-full of thoughts

Persimmons in August-the older they get, the redder they become; Laolaihong

Osmanthus fragrans blooms in August, and it is fragrant everywhere.

Cucumber shed in August-an empty shelf

Eat on August 15-it's still early.

Eating Yuanxiao on August 15th is different.

Eating zongzi on August 15th is not the time.

Moon cakes on August 15-everyone is happy; Everyone loves it; Up and down

The moon is the same on August 15th every year. Serious

On August 15th, it was late in Duanyang. evening

August 15 to see the dragon lantern-half a year late.

Having a baby on August 15-what a coincidence!

Send moon cakes on August 15-just in time for the festival.

Yun Zheyue on August 15-Disappointing.

Steamed rice cakes on August 15th-Zao (Jujube)

Fifteen kinds of peanuts in August-blind command

Eight-legged crab bully

There is no ambiguity in the eight characters-no eyebrows; Far from it; Far from it.

Boil on the palm-according to the enemy.

Pat shoes-useless; cannot get through

Spread the pancakes on the palm of your hand-skillful hands; Good cards

A skinned toad-born a nuisance and died a terrible death.

A temple with torn walls-panic

Bananas are planted on old trees-carelessness.

Banana blossoms-one heart; Closely linked

Banana leaves build a bird's nest-it won't be long.

Bala's eyes hurt-too bad.

Pull the grass to attract the snake-ask for it; Created for oneself

Pull onions and plant sea peppers-one crop is hotter than the other.

Sorghum at jointing stage-the longer, the higher; Steady rise

Wave drum-double-sided lamp

Pull alarm clock-designed to remind people

Pull out the radish-the pit is there.

Pull up radishes and plant onions-every crop is hotter.

A plucked phoenix is not as good as a chicken.

Pigeons without hair can't fly.

Unplug the plug without water-do more.

Pull out the seedlings and encourage them-eager for success

Postscript: the donkey chases the rabbit-it can't catch up; Can't catch up

Postscript foot immediately battlefield-death without life

Postscript Pulling Radish-Waila

Postscript is walking on stilts-sooner or later he will look good.

Surrounded by postscript-sitting and shouting; Sit on the ground and shout

Postscript to catch the horse-far behind.

Postscript son came to the position of power-instability

Wipe your nose with your face-you're asking for it.

Pour fertilizer on weeds-it's no use; There is no work to do.

Put your face in your pants.-gross.

Push people under the wall-there is no escape.

Playing with dolls as monkeys-fooling people

Think of the devil as a bodhisattva-there is no distinction between good and evil.

Old Huang Zhong on the shooting range —— One shot at a time.

Farewell my concubine-why not; have no choice but to

Old man with white neck-talking is a curse.

A dung beetle with a white neck-different; unusual

White cloth enters the dye vat-it can't be washed clearly; Can't be washed clean

White cloth for cotton-padded jacket-it's all a matter of principle anyway.

Cabbage helper-ugly; Does it taste good？

Playing sickle in cabbage field-distraction

Stewed tofu with cabbage-no one touches anyone's light

Sauté ed green onions with cabbage leaves-add pro (green) to pro (green)

Bai plays the bride-the demon among demons.

White hit a fall.

Beauty of white-human face and ghost heart

Talking nonsense-bad words confuse people.

Free meals-ambitious; Have no good intentions

Bai's speech-blasphemy and misleading people.

Meet the Monkey King for nothing-betray oneself.

The white crane stands among the chickens-protruding.

The white tiger enters the door-a disaster is imminent; Disaster is coming.

A painting as plain as water-an understatement

Fraxinus mandshurica and osmanthus fragrans-the roots are not straight

Ash stem flip-one-to-one

Heart made of ash-hide the sun and hide the fire

White-faced treacherous court official appeared-evil phase; An evil appearance

White-faced wolves wear straw hats-they can't change people.

White-faced wolves wear glasses-pretend to be good people; Be a good person

A fox with a sharp white tail-an old fox.

A white cat got into a hole and ruined its reputation.

White-haired crow-different

The white snake dares to try the law-listless.

White snake full of water-a big battle

White snake meets Xu Xian-a thousand miles of marriage

Hell in the daytime-mystery; Be sick in my heart

Daydreaming-thinking.

Uncover the milk skin in the white water pot-impossible; Can't do

Gypsum under white water-you can't make tofu

Boiled cabbage-bland and tasteless

Cooking with white water-cooking without rice

The White Snake has not given up on Xu Xian, and love is inseparable.

White sugar is wrapped in arsenic-it's poisonous.

Sugar mouth knife heart-honey mouth sword.

Playing lanterns during the day-it's no use

Looking forward to the moon during the day-forget it; Don't think; Never expect it

Light a telegram during the day-reinventing the wheel

Chasing ghosts during the day-nothing happened.

White iron axe-double-sided lamp

The crane has a bare tail-a fly in the ointment.

Draw gangsters on white paper-indelible; Obviously; Clear; Very clear

Written in black and white-in black and white; Obviously; Clear, loud and clear

Lanterns made of white paper-they glow at one point.

Scissors hanging at the end of a hundred feet pole-Gao Cai (scissors)

All rivers run into the sea-the general trend

Department stores sell suits, set by set.

Department stores sell shoes and socks. They come in different sizes.

A hundred kilograms of burden, an iron weight-the heavy responsibility lies on the shoulders; Shoulder important tasks

100 kg steamed peaches-waste snacks

A hundred pounds of burden can be carried on your shoulders, but one or two pens can't carry it-a lout.

A Family on the Hundred Miles Grassland-Loneliness

Prissy recognizes his wife-high office does not forget the old love.

Prissy feeds cows and worships each other-all appearances are a fool.

Bailing plays peony-birds sing and flowers smell.

100-meter race-every minute counts; Race against time; Catch up quickly; Try to catch up

A century-old pine tree, a banana in May-careless.

It doesn't rain for a hundred days (sunny)

Centenarians blow fire-cliche.

Millions of Heroes Down the South of the Yangtze River-Enlightening the People

There is a red lamp hanging one hundred feet high-red to the top.

Cypress rafters-Better bend than bend

Tar scalding pig head-uprooting

The black sheep of his family turns back-gold does not change.

Retreat the beaten army-assemble

Becoming sworn brothers and opening cocoon shops-forming a party for personal gain (silk)

New Year's greetings-say good words.

Worship the purpose of entering the Luzu Temple-the wrong door; Wrong door

Riding a rabbit can't be pulled down-unstable; changeful

You can't sit down on a baked wheat cake-people are on the surface.

Knock down the nest and scare the mother-in-law bitch

Knocked over the gourd and spilled oil-don't stop until you do it.

Pull the stove and bake your hair-it's amazing.

Count with your hand.

The head of the classroom-valet.

Hanging nest eggs of turtledove

Zebra's head-in perfect order.

Spotted bonito fights-showing off their affair

Move the bodhisattva to take a bath-the more you wash, the worse; In vain; An empty mind

Lift the stone and smash the millstone-hard (stone) hard (stone)

Lift a rock and hit the sky-bite off more than one can chew; No self-test; Can't do it; cannot reach

Bench upside down-four feet high

Put the egg on the bench-it's a close call; Adventure; Dangerous; Not reliable; trustless

Put the thistle on the bench-you can't sit still; Can't sit still

Sleeping on a bench-difficult to turn over; Can't turn over

Playing mahjong on the bench-it won't open; Unable to open the scene

Drill a hole in the bench-there is a board eye; cadent

Chop wood with an axe-chop wood at the same time

Stick a doorkeeper on the door panel-one in the east and one in the west.

Loach on the board-no place to live; have nowhere to hide oneself

Nail on the board-true; Did not run; Can't run; Cannot be changed; Cannot be changed.

Knock a nail on the board-slowly but surely.

Half a sheep's head-one horn

Half a pig's head-one eye

Pick up the horn halfway-it's blowing.

Half of the amateurs -250

Half a copper coin-no Fiona Fang.

Half a brick

Half a catty equals eight taels-equal; Same as each other; One thing; Same as each other; No one suffers.

Four or two cocks are half a catty tall.

Clouds in the sky-unpredictable

Play this trick in midair-plant a big fall.

A torch in midair-great

Balloon in midair-can't get up to the sky, can't get down to the ground; death by hanging

Set off firecrackers in midair-think high (loudly)

Building a house in midair-nowhere to stay; Can't fall down

Drive cattle in midair-show the cloven foot.

Tribulus hanging in the air-irony (wind) thorn

Scissors suspended in mid-air-Gao Cai (scissors)

Riding a horse in midair-walking in the clouds

Count your fingers in midair-very high.

Half-pulled melon seeds-not individuals (benevolence)

Half a basket of magpies-chirp

Give up halfway-the beginning is not over.

The news is on the way-hearsay

The abacus is crooked-miscalculation

Leave half-lively in the mouth; Mouth enthusiasm

Fight a journey halfway-something has happened; Be caught off guard; sudden

Half a bottle of vinegar-wandering around

Guanyin on the cliff-an honest (stone) person

Evil water (water skiing) halfway up the mountain-dirty

Walking a tightrope in the clouds for a long time-scary

A bright star appeared in the clouds for half a day-good luck.