Add water to joke.

One day, I said to myself, "You are a pig!" " He didn't understand, and he said solemnly, "I'm not a pig ... I'm really not a pig!" " "I wanted to tell him the truth, but he turned to the students behind him and said," Hey, she called me a pig! "I am not a pig!" Then the students at the back suddenly understood and said, "Yes, you are not a pig." I'm embarrassed to tell him the truth. ...

Ancient history, the teacher asked with a smile, students, what is the earliest way of communication you know?

Some received the wolf smoke, some received the letter, and then a voice came from a small corner: dream.

Teacher: Get out.

When the bus paid the money, a fashionable MM gave an old woman a squeeze when she got on the bus, and they quarreled.

MM said, "You must say sorry to me."

The old woman said, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to. "

MM said, "You are not sincere enough. Just kneel down and kowtow to me! "

Of course not, old woman.

A bystander said, "Stop it! Think of it as the wrong grave! "

Today, I was waiting for the bus at the railway station. I saw a young man crossing the railing and entering the ticket office.

At this time, a chubby female ticket inspector saw it and blurted out: "Liu Xiang didn't pass, but you passed ..."

Today, I sold a small mobile phone. When the guest asked for a new film, he took out a knife and scratched it carelessly, and blood splashed on the mobile phone. The guest was surprised: "Holy shit, are you going to turn on the light for me?"

Just came to Beijing, rented a small room, the first floor, went to Taobao to buy clothes, chose to pay and contacted the seller: "I have paid, please deliver." Who knows the goods directly said: "I see your address, go upstairs and get it yourself!" " I'm right above you. "

Take your sister. I paid the postage. . . Send it down.

A man walked into the bank and said to the cashier, "Please open a joint account for me. Thank you. "

"Ok, who are you driving with?"

"Who has more money, who will open it?"

A motorcyclist likes to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle his buttons at the back to keep out the wind.

One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.

When the police arrived, ...

Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.

Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.

Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.

Policeman b: ok ... one, two, push, it's back.

Officer A: Well, I'm not breathing. ...

An old man drives a tractor. There was no oil on the road, so the kind-hearted vehicle pulled the gas station down. I passed a BMW and kindly agreed. The old man was afraid that the driver was driving too fast, and said, You are driving too fast, so I will press the display light on the left to remind you. After starting on the road, it was still driving normally, and was soon overtaken by a Mercedes-Benz, but the BMW driver refused to accept it. A broken Mercedes still dares to overtake me, and BMW slams on the accelerator; .............., 50.60.70.80120.130. The old man kept pressing the left light at the back. This incident was seen by the roadside traffic police, who immediately said to the intercom: switchboard, switchboard is racing. There is a Mercedes in front and a BMW in the back. What is even more incredible is that there is a tractor behind the BMW, which is still preparing to overtake at 220 per hour according to the left signal.

Girlfriend calls her boyfriend, and as soon as the phone is connected,

A message came from the mobile phone: Sorry, the number you dialed is busy, please redial later. ...

When a girlfriend hears it, she knows it's her boyfriend's voice.

So I didn't hang up and ask: Isn't there another sentence in English?

I'm sorry, you ... number. ...