Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Please read a large section of Hou Diankun’s poem in Linhaixueyuan
Please read a large section of Hou Diankun’s poem in Linhaixueyuan
Hou Diankun and Ma Xishan still had a grand plan. They looked at the mountain, backed it up by Li Li Palace, and looked at Li Li Cave. Ma Xishan burst out laughing, and Hou Diankun laughed bitterly in agreement.
When the bandits saw Hou and Ma's unexpected laughter, they were all surprised and asked: "What are the commissioners and commanders laughing at?"
Ma Xishan stamped his foot on the ground and raised his head. Tuan Xuechen said, "I laugh... I laugh... Humph!
As the saying goes: 'Leave gourd seeds, even if there is no water ladle.' 'With the green mountains around, you don't have to worry about not having firewood.' Yes. I, Ma, am here, and I must take revenge. Hum..." After speaking, he pursed his lips and hummed a few times.
"Brother Ma!" Hou Diankun interrupted, "A gentleman takes revenge no later than ten years.
Victory and defeat are common in military affairs. And the winner must have the right time, right place and right people. The three major factors were: the weather was not good in the past, it was the winter snow season; the geography was unfavorable, it was no man's land; and the people were not right, Brother Ma did not take over the command of the entire army as soon as possible. It would have been too late for Brother Ma now! It is conceivable that the whole army will not be unified today.
"For today's plan, we have grasped the throat of Sifangtai, backed by Jilin, and are stationed in Changbai. If we advance, we can slaughter the Mudanjiang River and be hunted by fierce tigers; if we retreat, we can guard Changbai Mountain and live high on our bed. This geographical location is very beneficial to me. Winter is about to pass and spring is about to come. At that time, with our ability, we can break into the bedside of the Japanese army and slaughter them. This will be a great advantage at this time. Now Brother Ma is commanding the entire army. The beleaguered rich men, gentry, officials and our underground advance army have gathered together to form a return regiment, determined to be irreconcilable with the Japanese army. This is what people want, and this harmony will be of great benefit. Coupled with the fact that the National Army will advance towards Harbin in the coming spring, the weather, location, people, and foreign aid are all available, so there is no reason why they will be invincible. "The Hou Bandit became more and more excited as he talked, as if he had completely forgotten about the destruction of their tens of thousands of troops and the dog's life he had just narrowly escaped. He is really an expert at painting cakes to satisfy his hunger and peeing to take pictures.
"Brothers ! Colleagues! Do it! "The Hou bandit turned to the group of defeated soldiers and mobilized again. This encouragement dispelled Butterfly Fan's sorrow. She said proudly: "That's great. I will go back with the returning group and I can visit Jingbo Lake again. , sit back and enjoy the land! "
"Visiting Jingpo Lake? By then we have descended from Changbai Mountain and still have to visit the West Lake! "
Seeing that his agitation was successful, Hou Diankun continued, "By then Commander Zheng will no longer be the commander! But brigade commander and division commander. Put on the gold medal and live in the big world of Shanghai, concubine, car, hey! A meritorious minister. "The bandit's bullshit this time blew away the mourning on the faces of the defeated soldiers.
The bones of these bandits who had committed unforgivable crimes were like a firefly flying into a black hole, getting this pitiful cold light.
“Bonus! Congratulations! The horse bandit said flatteringly, "Commissioner Hou, your heart is really as big as the ocean." open! open! What I said coincided with my younger brother’s thoughts. ”
“This is called heroes seeing the same thing. "The bandit became even more proud.
The two looked at each other and laughed wildly. After laughing, the bandit clenched his fist and gnashed his teeth and muttered to himself:
"Shao Jianbo Ah, Shao Jianbo! You little Communist bastard, you really make me laugh at Ma. You don’t know how to use troops. You want to install troops here. I, Ma..."
"Li Li! ...Li Li! ..." A large group of Li carp birds flew happily and circled over.
Ma Xishan glanced at the group of Li carp birds in the sky, and continued:
"Now Not far from Lili Cave, there is the outpost of the national army. We have to serve the country, so let’s have a good meal here first. "Ma Xishan waved his hand proudly, "Tie the horse! "
The gangsters tied their horses to the trees one after another. The extremely tired horses were not instigated by Hou Diankun and Ma Xishan's cowhide at all. Some were tilting their heads to gnaw the bark of the tree, and some were lying on the tree. They were gnawing at the bark at the roots, and some were rolling up the white snow on the ground with their dry lips.
There were more and more Li carp birds, circling and flying in the air.
Ma Xishan raised the corners of his eyes and said, "Hey! Come and try a few of them." As he said this, he directed the gangsters to volley their guns and shoot at them. Several snow-white "Friends of the Mountains and Forests" were shot and fell in the snow. On the ground, their color is as white as the snow. The blood dyes the snow around them red, showing blossoming red flowers.
A large group of Li carp birds looked down at their dead mate and let out a miserable cry. The miserable sound contained a curse on the bandits. To avoid being attacked again, they sadly flew eastward.
The gangsters succeeded in attacking Li Liniao and let out a burst of arrogant laughter. Piles and clusters of hanging pots, torn feathers, and beautiful torn feathers, floating in the breeze, wandering in the sky, like huge snowflakes.
The bonfire was lit, and the meat must be peeled off, and the smell of cooked meat came out of the pot. The gangsters looked at the pots, sniffed, and swallowed greedily from time to time, waiting for these pots of delicious food.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, a crisp sound of machine gunfire drove away the joy of the gangsters. They all covered their heads and turned to the ground, terrified, and fell down next to the fire.
Then there was another burst of gunfire, and the bullets landed beside them. The gangsters held their heads and crawled forward to pull the horses. At this moment, machine gun fire came intensively, and even the short distance between the gangsters and the horses was cut off.
The bandit leaders crawled and hid in Li Li Palace. Ma Xishan swung his pistol and roared:
"Quick! Quick!...Quickly enter Li Li Cave." The bandits all united. They rushed towards Li Lidong.
As soon as they arrived at the entrance of the cave, there was a loud noise, and dozens of grenades exploded. The gangsters' limbs were torn apart, and their bones and flesh flew everywhere with shrapnel. A faint howl of pain could be heard from the thick smoke. .
"Charge!... Kill!..." Yang Zirong's team rushed out from Li Lidong, and Liu Xuncang's team, Jian Bo and team members attacked from the back mountain.
Yang Zirong’s team engaged in hand-to-hand combat with the gangsters, and quickly eliminated the gangsters at the entrance of the cave who were not killed by the explosion. Liu Xuncang's team and Jianbo rushed straight towards Li Li Palace, and they were almost close. Three soldiers from the team in front were shot and fell.
"Zheng Sanpao!" Jiang Qingshan stepped forward and pulled Shao Jianbo, who was directing the attack, behind a big tree. "Look! The one kneeling and shooting is Zheng Sanpao."
Shao Jianbo drew a semicircle with his hand from the left, signaling to Liu Xuncang, "Quick! Get rid of this nail first." Liu Xuncang quickly led the whole team to go up from the side.
"Two hundred three! Squat down!" Chen Zhenyi pulled Jian Bo down. At this moment, a bullet hit the tree where Jian Bo was using as a cover, piercing the skin. And passed. Two seconds ago, Jian Bo's head was right on the bullet mark. It turned out that Chen Zhenyi discovered that Zheng Sanpao was aiming at Jian Bo, so he hurriedly pulled Jian Bo down.
Zheng Sanpao aimed at Jianbo who was squatting on the ground again. When Chen Zhenyi saw it, it was too late. He jumped in front of Jianbo and was about to wave his twenty-ring pot belly box. Zheng San A bullet from the cannon flew and hit Chen Zhenyi in the chest. This brave soldier used his chest to protect the leader. He was seriously injured. He did not complain at all and just lay quietly on the snow.
When Li Hongyi saw that Chen Zhenyi was injured, his eyes turned red. He aimed at Zheng Sanpao and fired with the shell gun. The bullets fell one after another around Zheng Sanpao without hitting him.
I saw Zheng Sanpao aiming at the sword wave again, and just as he was about to fire, he heard a cry of killing. Liu Xuncang, Jiang Qingshan and others shouted to kill. Zheng Sanpao just turned around and was caught off guard. At the next moment, Liu Xuncang had rushed behind him. With a wave of his sword, Zheng Sanpao's right shoulder was cut into two pieces diagonally from his left rib.
It turned out that when Liu Xuncang and Jiang Qingshan got behind Zheng Sanpao, they were about to shoot. They found that Zheng Sanpao and Jianbo were in a straight line, so they drew out their sabers and struck down fiercely.
Shao Jianbo led Liu Xuncang's team and went straight to Li Li Palace.
Bai Ru stayed where he was, bandaging several wounded soldiers.
At this moment, Butterfly Fan, with disheveled hair and two tufts of hair stuck to her nose, waved two empty box guns in her hands, opened her mouth full of big yellow teeth, and looked like a she-wolf towards Bai Ru, who was rescuing the wounded. Come.
When Bai Ru realized that she was approaching, she was so frightened that she jumped all over the place. However, as soon as she calmed down, she immediately took out a small pistol that she had never used before and shot Butterfly Fan. broken! Missed! I fired the second shot, but it stopped ringing and the gun stuck to its shell. Bai Ru panicked even more. She rolled right on top of the wounded soldier's gun. She just grabbed the gun, but Butterfly Mi snatched it away. Then the banshee raised the butt of the gun and hit Bai Ru head-on. Bai Ru jumped to the side, and the butt of the gun hit the ground, smashing it. Bai Ru rushed forward and grabbed Butterfly Fan's messy hair, and the two of them fought together. Bai Ru is always small and weak, unable to withstand the desperate devil Butterfly Fan. As soon as Bai Ru let go, she was pushed hard by Butterfly Fan. She took five steps back and fell down. Butterfly Fan pulled out the dagger from his leg, gritted his teeth and cursed: "Little little girl giving birth, yellow-haired girl, your aunt will grab a thigh pad before she dies." Cursing, he rushed towards Bai Ru. The sharp dagger was thrust straight into Bai Ru's heart. In this extremely critical moment, a shout was heard:
"Butterfly fan, look at the knife!" Following the shout, Butterfly fan moved from his right shoulder to his hip. It was chopped into two pieces alive, and the stinky liver, intestines and five internal organs flowed all over the floor.
"Zirong," Bai Ru jumped into Yang Zirong's arms, hugging Yang Zirong's arm tightly like a frightened child.
"Don't let me! The battle is almost over!"
It turned out that when the whole team surrounded Li Li Palace, Bai Ru was missing. Shao Jianbo was deeply afraid that she was too weak. Weak, loses in hand-to-hand combat. And because all the troops were concentrated here, and there were only a few bandit leaders left, there was no need for too many troops, so Yang Zirong was ordered to lead his whole team to search the battlefield and protect the wounded. Yang Zirong immediately led the entire team to search the battlefield and immediately rushed to the wounded soldiers. In the distance, I saw Bai Ru and Butterfly Fan twisting into a ball. Seeing that Bai Ru was weak and unable to fight the banshee, but she didn't dare to shoot, she hurriedly pulled out her sword and ran over as hard as she could.
At the extremely critical moment when Butterfly Fan's dagger stabbed Bai Ru's heart, his sword had already worked on Butterfly Fan.
The gunshots stopped, indicating that the gangsters had been eliminated. Ma Xishan was forced to stand on the boulder outside Li Li Palace with nothing left. He was afraid and hated. For him, he was completely disappointed at this moment.
Shao Jianbo took Jiang Qingshan, Li Yongqi, Xiao Li, and Liu Xuncang and walked to him calmly.
"Commander Ma! Now you are a prisoner!" Shao Jianbo said sarcastically.
Ma Xishan stared at Shao Jianbo with a fierce and desperate residual light.
"I order you to surrender your gun quickly!" Shao Jianbo announced majestically to the bandit leader.
Ma Xishan put his right hand into his trouser pocket and touched it. Suddenly a bullet came out of his trouser pocket, and the bullet passed by Shao Jianbo. Li Yongqi rushed forward, grabbed the horse bandit's wrist fiercely, then twisted hard and took away the pistol hidden in his trouser pocket.
In despair, the horse bandit rushed towards Shao Jianbo with all his strength, but was knocked down by Liu Xuncang who was standing next to Jianbo.
"Struggle, a dying struggle! What a joke." Shao Jianbo said and took the pistol that Li Yongqi had taken.
The horse bandit rolled a few times and got up again. He held a dagger in his hand, which was the last weapon of the bandit. It was engraved with the words "If you don't succeed, you will become a benevolent person. A gift from Chiang Kai-shek", and asked Shao Jian again. The wave comes.
"You're welcome!" Shao Jianbo said, shooting with the pistol he had just taken from the horse bandit. The horse bandit fell to the snow. This bullet was exactly one of the seven that the horse bandit swore when he was so angry in Dadianzi, Suifen.
Just after dealing with the horse bandits, Sun Dade pulled out an old man from Li Li Palace who was shaking with fear and shouted:
"Xie Wendong! Xie Wendong! Capture Xie Wendong alive! Ridiculous! Awesome! Digging under the butt of the stone statue of Miss Li Li, he was like a frightened rabbit, looking at his head and not his butt.
"
Shao Jianbo ordered to inspect the battlefield to make sure no one slipped through the net.
The soldiers led the prisoners to check one by one.
Luan Chao's family and Ma Baojun Leading their team and machine gun team, they slid down the Nanshan Mountain. As soon as they arrived in front of Jianbo, they said angrily: "We have a problem, the task distribution is unfair. "
He has never complained in a serious manner.
"What? Shao Jianbo asked with a smile.
"Our team only fought a few times. Can this be said to be fair?" "
"Comrade! "Don't lose your temper," Shao Jianbo comforted him.
"Don't lose your temper. The tasks are assigned this way, and I have opinions on whatever you say." Our team didn’t enjoy the last bite, and it was so cold that we choked! ..."
Woof! Woof! Sai Hu's bark interrupted his complaints. Shao Jian Bo followed the sound and saw Sai Hu barking towards this place.
"Hou Diankun slipped through the net! Yang Zirong came to report, "He was not found among the corpses or prisoners." ”
“That’s right! Jiang Qingshan took over and said, "Maybe Saihu is telling us to leave." " He said and was about to leave.
"Don't be busy! It's my turn! "Luan Chao's family threw Jiang Qingshan down very impolitely.
"What's yours and mine, let's go together! "Yang Zirong said impatiently, and ran towards Saihu with Luan Chaojia, Jiang Qingshan, and Li Yongqi.
Saihu was in front, and the four of them were behind. Not far away, they saw a big tree Cave, where the Hou bandit's footsteps were heading.
The four of them advanced in a fighting formation, approaching the tree, and shouted at the same time: "Those named Hou, come out and surrender your guns!" "
"Don't fight! Don't fight! Hand over the gun! Hand over the gun! ..." I heard trembling shouts from the tree hole. Sure enough, Hou Diankun climbed out of the tree hole, without his glasses, and raised his hands wearing huge black leather gloves. Luan Chao's family took a look, "Mine! mine! "He ran up as he was told. A dozen steps away from Hou Bandit, he saw Hou Bandit lower his right hand. Luan Chao staggered and fell to the ground.
Yang Zirong shouted: "The secret agent pistol, Lao Luan suffered a loss. " Before he finished speaking, Hou Bandit's hand was seen reaching towards Luan Chao's house who was lying on the ground, and a light flashed on the back of his hand.
"Shoot! "Yang Zirong was afraid that Luan Chao's family would suffer another loss, so he ordered hurriedly.
Only one end of Jiang Qingshan's gun was seen. With a bang, the Hou bandit rolled on the snow and became motionless.
The three of them ran up together and looked at Luan Chao's house first, but Luan Chao's house had already climbed out of the snow pit, holding his right shoulder with his left hand, blood flowing between his fingers.
"It doesn't matter. ! It’s not heavy, and it’s far away from the head and heart! "
Yang Zirong hurriedly supported Luan Chao's house, quickly took out a handkerchief, bandaged the wound, and then walked to Hou Bie's body together to see that Hou Bie's head was already blooming. Yang Zirong said to him Jiang Qingshan smiled and said:
"What a good marksmanship! "
Li Yongqi touched his mouth with his hand, "A hunting hand can outrun a monkey! "
Yang Zirong bent down and took off the bandit's big gloves. It turned out to be a silent glove pistol.
All the gunshots stopped, and the sun shone in front of Li Li Palace. On the snow, a dazzling light is reflected. The stone statue of Miss Li Li is smiling slightly, and a large group of Li Li birds are flying in the sky, "Li Li!" Li Li! " cheered in unison. This lovely friend of the forest welcomed the hero's guest heartily.
Suddenly, the flock of Li carp birds in the sky let out a miserable and panicful cry. The soldiers were surprised, Bai Ru's shrill call came:
"Hurry up! Hurry! Save them quickly! The eagle comes to catch the Li carp bird! "
The soldiers looked towards her finger and saw an eagle, viciously chasing two Li carp birds. Although the two birds were in extreme danger, they did not separate, like lovers. Same, both ran away
“Quick! Hurry! "Bai Ru was extremely anxious.
"Don't be afraid! Little white pigeon! Don't worry!" Jiang Qingshan said while holding the gun. With a bang, the ferocious eagle fell from the sky, crashed to death on the cliff, and rolled down the abyss.
Bai Ru breathed a sigh of relief, and was so happy that she tossed her pigtails and took Jiang Qingshan's hand.
"Comrade Qingshan! Thank you!..."
Thousands of mountains overlap and are boundless; they are covered with white snow and dazzling silver. For the first time after the fierce battle, the soldiers looked around at the surrounding scenery with a calm mood.
Shao Jianbo stared into the distance, and Bai Ru gently approached him. He heard from his breathing that Bai Ru was coming, and without turning his head he whispered:
"Bai Ru! Our motherland is so beautiful!"
Bai Ru smiled. He nodded and stared without turning his head. A breeze blew a lock of hair on her forehead to flutter slightly.
- Related articles
- Is it okay for men to plug in the door backwards?
- Lin Yutang: "Life is alive, but sometimes I smile at others, and sometimes I smile at others."
- Recommend a tablet suitable for painting.
- Seek the funniest joke.
- How hard do you try to save money?
- Thoughts on knocking on snow.
- In the 1990s, there was a variety show called Ha Ha Ji on the stage in Tianjin. There are often some short comedies abroad, especially a fat man with white hair.
- Three sentences and a half lines of high school campus humor (2 pieces)
- What's it like to drink alone?
- How to ensure that you pass the driving test once?