What jokes are suitable for the elderly?

An old man has serious hearing problems. He went to see a doctor, who fitted him with a hearing aid, and his hearing recovered 100%. A month later, the old man went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "Your family must be very happy. Your hearing has completely recovered. " The gentleman replied, "Oh, I didn't tell my family. I just sat there and listened to them. I have changed my will three times! "

Two old people in the retirement center are sitting on a bench under a tree. One of them said to the other, "skinny, I'm 83 years old now, but I feel sore all over." I know you are as old as me. How do you feel? "

Slim replied, "I feel like a newborn baby."

"Really? Just like a newborn baby! "

"yes. No hair, no teeth, I think I just peed my pants. "

An elderly couple is eating at another couple's house. After eating, the wife left the table and went to the kitchen. Two gentlemen are talking. One person said, "Last night, we went to a new restaurant. It's really great. I highly recommend it. Another man said, "What's the name of the restaurant? " ? The first man thought and thought, and finally said, "What's the name of the flower you gave to your beloved? Which one is red and prickly. " "You mean roses? " ? The man replied, "Yes, that's it. Then he turned to the kitchen and shouted, "Ross, what was the name of the restaurant we went to last night?"

The hospital stipulates that discharged patients must be in wheelchairs. However, as an intern nurse, I found an old gentleman sitting on the bed with clothes on and a suitcase at his feet. He insisted that he could leave the hospital without my help. I explained to him that rules are rules, and he reluctantly let me push him into the elevator in a wheelchair. On the way, I asked his wife if she would pick him up. "I don't know," he said. "She is still changing her hospital gown in the bathroom upstairs."

A 90-year-old couple both have memory problems. During a physical examination, the doctor told them that they were in good health, but they might start writing something to help them remember. That night, while watching TV, the old man stood up from his chair. "I went to the kitchen. What do you want? " He asked. "Can you give me a bowl of ice cream?" ? Sure, okay? "Don't you think you should write it down so that you won't forget it?" she asked. "No, I can remember. You want strawberry ice cream. " ? "I also like cream. I believe you will forget and write it down? " She said.

He said angrily, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!" " Strawberries and milk ice cream. Oh, my God! Then he walked slowly into the kitchen. About 20 minutes later, the old man came out of the kitchen and gave his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. Staring at it for a while, she asked, "Where's my toast?"

An old man said to his 80-year-old friend, "I heard that you are getting married?"

"That's right!"

"Do I know her?"

"no!"

"This woman, is she beautiful?"

"Not beautiful,

"Is she a good cook?"

"No, she's not very good at cooking."

"Does she have a lot of money?"

"no! As poor as a church mouse.

"So, is she good in bed?"

"I don't know."

"Why did you marry her?"

"Because she can still drive!"

Three old people went out for a walk.

The first said, it's windy, isn't it? "

The second said, "No, today is Thursday!" " "

The third said, "Then let's go and have a beer."

A man told his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid." It cost me 4 thousand yuan, but it is the most advanced and perfect. " ?

"Really?" The neighbor asked, "What is it like?"

"Half past twelve."

An impolite young man asked an old man who was over 60: "I heard that people who are over 60 are called crazy." Is this true? " "Yes," the old man replied without thinking, "but the 20-year-old donkey is older than the 60-year-old man."

A little old man hobbled into the ice cream shop and climbed onto the stool slowly and painfully. After catching his breath, he asked for a banana boat. The waitress asked kindly, "Do you want to break nuts?" "No," he replied, "arthritis."