Jokes or bad consequences (suitable for primary school students) caused by writing wrong Chinese characters or reading wrong Chinese characters O(∩_∩)O Thank you.

There is a child named Xiaoming. He likes to write an umbrella as his life. One day, it was raining outside, and Xiao Ming didn't bring an umbrella, so he asked his classmates to take a letter home. The letter says: My son will die when he comes home, but he has a life at home, so die quickly. I was killed at home, so mr.zhou sent it for me.

After a day's haircut, I met my friend downstairs. My friend said, "Hey, young man, I'm very energetic today." I smiled and said, "No, I just got a cool haircut!" The words sound just fell and a girl on the second floor leaned out and shouted at me, "Who picked out the trousers? Take it out and see if it's the one I lost. "

The biology teacher asked, "We all know that eating more peppers is bad for our health. When we eat peppers, they are absorbed in the small intestine. What will they become?" Xiao Ming's classmate: "Teacher, I know that when chili is eaten in the small intestine and absorbed by the small intestine, it will become: spicy (wax) intestine."

Little novice monk asked the old monk who was meditating, "Master, where is compassion?" The old monk raised his right hand, pointed to the door and closed his eyes without saying a word. Little novice monk had an epiphany: it turns out that all living things in the world, whether they are dignitaries, peddlers and pawns, or flowers, birds, insects and fish, have compassion everywhere. Seeing the little novice monk standing there motionless, the old monk said, "The white one on the table outside the door is the porcelain cup!" "

An eldest sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she quickly said to the man, Comrade, you dropped your cigarettes! At that time, the man was stupefied for a while ..... and then turned to stare at the eldest sister-in-law and said: You just castrated!

one day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitating because the car dealership didn't have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 544 (let me try it), and no one dares to mess with it, isn't it?"!

Regal was moved and immediately bought this car, but there was an accident the next day. Regal got out of the car angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got out of the car, he left in despair. The original license plate of the other party was 44944 (just try it).

In a lively market, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish!" At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted: "bubble gum!" The fish seller listened and said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. Just then, a bean sprout seller shouted again: "bean sprouts!" A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted, "avocado!" After hearing this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you! "

A Chinese teacher read an ancient poem by Lu You entitled" Wochun "to students, and asked them to dictate it. The Chinese teacher read it as follows. One student dictated it as follows:

Wochun ("I am stupid ")

I heard flowers in the dark (I have no culture), and I hated the bottom when I was lying on branches (my IQ was very low), and I was lying like water when I was far away.

I saw a cake shop when I was shopping one day. I asked, "Is this for sale alone?"

The clerk replied, "No, it's Japanese!"

At a meeting in a village, the village head said, "Rabbits and shrimps, don't paste melons, pickles are too expensive." Comrades and villagers, don't talk, the meeting is now. The host said, "Sausage and melon for pickles." (Now, please speak to the township head. The township head said, "Rabbits, shrimps, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big tortoise." Comrades and villagers, we have enough food today. Let's all use big bowls!

A leader in a certain unit loves to drink. He once drank too much at a public banquet and passed out on the spot. One person plays a eulogy and says, "You are a great man with a stomach that has been tested by alcohol.". You were in a bad mood, experienced the battle of drinking (lasting), and participated in the battle of satiating your stomach (defending), but unexpectedly, after the ninth (China) alcohol, tobacco and alcohol (research) meeting in the wine industry, you didn't wake up (fortunately) as if you died (died).

when a woman walks into the street, her posture is fierce, her ass is always twisting, and she has keys on her body. It's hard to resist, and she swings around, leaving the woman and falling to the ground. A handsome guy, out of nature, walks behind and shouts, "Aunt, you dropped your keys, you dropped your keys." The woman turned around and scolded the handsome boy: "You are going to die, you are going to die …" The handsome boy was speechless.

There is a Mr. Huang, whose son is Huang Jun. He often takes his son by bus No.8, so there are often funny scenes: Mr. Huang takes his son to the station, sees a bus No.8 coming into the bus stop in the distance, and immediately shouts to his son around him, "Huang Jun, run, no.8 is coming!"

just choose!

The newly appointed magistrate of a county is from Shandong. Because he has to pay the bill, he said to the master, "Buy me two bamboo poles." The master listened to the "bamboo pole" of Shandong dialect as "pig liver", and quickly agreed, and hurried to the butcher's shop and said to the shopkeeper, "The new county grandfather wants to buy two pig livers. You are a wise man, so you should know it!" The shopkeeper is a clever man. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave away a pair of pig ears. After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought, "My master told me to buy pig liver, and this pig ear is mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. When I returned to the county government, I reported to the magistrate: "Report back, Grandpa, I bought the pig liver!" When the magistrate saw that the master bought pig liver, he was angry and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and hurriedly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "

A deer ran faster and faster. Later, it became a highway (deer).