Cold jokes, brain teasers and answers, Xiao Ming

1, Xiao Ming has no problem with his ears and no super powers, but why can't he hear when he makes a certain sound? I don't know The correct answer is: he can't hear his snoring.

2. Brain teaser: Xiaoming is a famous truant king in the school. He almost skipped class, but he never skipped a class and was always on time. Which lesson is it, please? Answer: Class is over. Did you guess right?

Xiaoming and Daming's parents died one after another, and Daming was responsible for working outside to earn money to raise Xiaoming. Who raised Daming? Guess an idiom. Answer: I've heard a lot about you!

Xiaoming stole many times last month, and even had a group fight last week. He cheated a girl a few days ago and even robbed a bank today. Why didn't the police arrest him? And everyone likes him? Because Xiaoming is an actor!

5. Intelligence test: Xiaoming took one hundred yuan to buy a 75-yuan thing, but the boss only gave him five yuan. Why? Answer: Because Xiao Ming only gave the boss 80 yuan!

6. Why can Xiao Ming stop the car with one hand? Answer: The car is a taxi. He is taking a taxi. Who is busy working all day? Answer: a ballet dancer.

7. Is there anything in the world that can carry humans at a speed of nearly 2,000 kilometers per hour without stopping to refuel or replenish other fuels? The answer is: the earth where human beings live.

8. A buddy in the dormitory just watched Jin Yong's Legend of the Condor Heroes, which was very touching. I didn't expect that lies and deception were everywhere in ancient times, but among many sects, there is one sect whose followers won't lie. Do you know that?/You know what? Quanzhen religion

9, vilen broad-minded, make up for personal abandon bow, boundless, selfless. The sun lifts the earth, ears listen, never tears, and is happy that the east wind will cut. A: May you be happy every day.

65438+ Answer: I wish you happiness forever.

1 1, the grassland in my heart, I miss you alone, my heart is in the sky, my heart is in the sky, my woman has been with me, Xiangyun is wrapped in a car, and my mouth is standing in my ear; Two people are always together, and two people are always touching. Standing in your heart, without the flicker of flame, love is half. Answer (May you always be lucky and happy every day)

12, my brother confessed his true love. Don't worry, his younger brother will grow up, the two will be affectionate, the excellent brotherhood will change their hearts, the two will be in harmony, the tiger will have ambition, the closest relatives will love knives, and there will be many hardships in the water. On New Year's Day, we will drive to gather our families. Answer: I wish you happiness forever.

13, the moth caught fire and burned its wings. Because the days are long, it is difficult to separate people when they meet. Love sticks silently in my heart. I will send you a valuable car, and I will give you my love every word. (Answer: I love you all my life)

65438+ (Answer: I wish you happiness and health forever)

15, growing grass on the fertilizer, all the women came, half of them were friends, each of them was the protagonist, and everyone ate well. He builds houses and raises pigs, and the Eight Kings are boundless. (A full moon makes a happy family)

16, good news for my female companion, even the car has been seen in the clouds, half of my heart is still holding each other, one of you is holding hands, and the world has no intention of leaving, so it is difficult to win back the moon, and the sunset is incomplete. There is no hole in the heart. (Answer: Good luck will accompany you all your life)

17. Who is the darkest anime character? Answer: robot cat. Because he can't see his fingers. Who is the most compassionate cartoon character? Answer: It's still a robot cat. Because he always gives people a helping hand.

18. A very hungry cat walked past a fat mouse. Why did the hungry old cat leave without looking at the mouse? The answer is: a blind cat meets a dead mouse.

19 and 1 to 9, which is the laziest and the most diligent? The answer is: 1 laziest, 2 most diligent. Do you know why? Because if you don't do it, you will never stop!

20, 1, September 28th is Confucius' birthday, so what's the date of June 28th of 10? Answer: Confucius full moon. 2. What would the world look like if Jiang Gong (Chiang Kai-shek) were still alive? Answer: One more person!

2 1. A triangular tree was sent to the North Pole for planting ... when it grew up! What's the name of that tree? Answer: trigonometric function. What do fat girls say when they are sick and most afraid of being visited by others? Answer: Take care.

22. When beautiful flowers grow up, they leave childhood grass and marry handsome and burly trees. Why? Answer: Because the society is harmonious now, we should get along with wood!

23. The black cat and the white cat go out to explore together. When they passed a big pit, they jumped together, but who would tremble when jumping? The answer is black cat, because the black cat sheriff (nervous).

24. When the swan flies away, the birds don't return. Cautious words make the mood cleaner. Samsung Yue Bai shows sincere and perfect love and mutual commitment. The condor heroes leave beautiful words, and people tell stories together. (Answer: Thank you sincerely)

25. The notice was posted on my brother's face. It was hard to hide my heart. Let me watch it with you. Although I have a bad temper, I will pay it back before tomorrow, laughing at the stone and throwing my servant to the crown! (Answer: Happy birthday to you! )

26. There is no trace of goose feathers and flying snow birds. The two have no regrets, and there are no ten complaints about bitterness and joy. The two have roots and roots, and Yuan women pay attention to their thoughts. The combination of people is a beautiful fate. (Answer: I love you very much)

27. When talking around the emperor, wooden chopsticks were not made of bamboo, and there were no stones in the rubble. They are not in the water when swimming. When January comes, they walk, roast with their ears and wait for a long time alone, standing next to you alone. Answer: Let happiness always accompany you. )

28, saliva is flowing, the beauty of giving is acacia, people and children combine to write legends, and love is invincible. Two daggers are good at martial arts, swans and birds send letters, and women combine dreams. (Answer: As long as you live better than me)

29. A thief stole all the gold, silver and jewels of some wealthy families nearby. Why didn't the only rich man who didn't have anti-theft equipment or security personnel patronize? Answer: That's his own home.

30. Do you know Tian's son's name? The answer is: I have a gift (because I was born with a gift! )。 Do you know the name of Feng's son? The answer is: the water rises (because the wind rises and the water falls! )。

3 1. What gets dirtier when washed? If you don't wash it, someone will eat it No one will eat it after washing it. Answer: water. What goes up and never falls down? Answer: Our time.

32. A girl, who has never given birth, has not been recognized as an adopted mother, and has not claimed an adopted daughter, has become a mother first. Excuse me: what is this? A: She is the bride.

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