Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Denghuashan Ji
Denghuashan Ji
This National Day holiday, I went to Xi. Prepare to look at people when you go, and you won't really know how many people there are until Xi' an. There are long queues to buy tickets to many scenic spots. That afternoon, after two o'clock, I arrived at Xi History Museum. In front of the museum, the long queue actually made me lose my patience. In China, I want to see a century-old Shanghai and a thousand-year-old Xi. I just want to feel the breath of history when I come to Xi 'an, so I really want to go to the History Museum. For this purpose, I gave up in front of the crowd and at the gate of the museum.
It can be said that this trip to Xi 'an was very unpleasant. Because of my mood, I didn't go to the Terracotta Warriors, Huaqing Pool and Mount Li. If I hadn't climbed Huashan again, I would really be disappointed to go to Xi 'an this time.
1at 6: 00 pm on October 3 15, I left Xidian to bid farewell to Zhenbiao, and then went to Huashan alone.
When we arrived at Huashan Station, it was already past 10 at night. I stopped at the station for a while and then took a taxi to the scenic spot.
When I took a taxi, a master greeted me. I asked about the price and got on his car. When the bus was about to leave the station, it was stopped by the station manager and I got off again. At first, I didn't understand what was going on. It's so late, and I feel a little uncomfortable.
When I got off the bus, I got on another bus. On the bus, I asked the master what was going on. He said, "Taxis have to queue up. The master's car was in the back just now. " I just feel relieved.
There is another buddy who got on the bus with me this time.
On the way, the buddies talked a lot and asked the master all kinds of questions about going up the mountain, such as where to go up and down, what are the four peaks on the top of Huashan Mountain, where to take the cableway down, whether the top of the mountain is cold or not, and so on. ...
The driver's master was fired by him.
The buddy said, "Sorry, I'm a little excited. I'm talking ..."
The driver's master said, "Well, nothing. Come out to play, it should be like this. "
I was amused by that buddy's obvious little Shenyang accent, and then I started chatting with them one after another. I don't remember what I asked, but I remember asking Huayin County.
It turns out that Huashan Railway Station is not in Huayin County. This time I went to Huashan, I originally planned to go to Huayin County for half a day. The reason is because of the allusion about Li Bai-"Huayin County can't ride a donkey, because the son of heaven still lets you go?"
The master is very good, and his tone is very friendly all the way. He answered everything we asked patiently.
When I arrived at the scenic spot, my buddy in the car with me said that he wanted to find an ATM to withdraw money. The driver master not only showed the way.
He also stopped the car for the buddy to pick it up, and then we waited for him on the side of the road for a long time.
When getting off at the foot of the mountain, the master said, "It's getting dark, so you two can get married and take care of each other. Oh, Huashan is very dangerous. Huashan falls off the cliff every year, but as long as it stays on the road, it will be fine. "
After getting off the bus, I exchanged names with my colleagues. I just found out that his name is Huadong, a native of Inner Mongolia, and he just graduated with a master's degree. He works in Tianjin and is engaged in medicine. This time I came to Shaanxi to attend a classmate's wedding, and then I stopped by Huashan, planning to go to Lishan the next day.
Huadong asked me, "Did you bring food?"
I said, "No."
Ask again: "Do you have any water?"
I said, "No."
Ask again: "Have you eaten?"
I said, "I have eaten."
At this time, some aunts are selling gloves, flashlights and other mountaineering supplies. They were very enthusiastic when they saw us get off the bus, and they followed us all the way, saying, buy this and that. Huadong bought a plastic coat to prevent dew, so did I (later found it useless), and then bought a street lamp that I could wear on my head.
Then I remembered what a friend said to me two days ago, "I thought you were a senior donkey friend, but now I know you are not."
I'm not. When traveling, I wander around with my eyes open and rarely do raiders or anything.
I remember the last time I went to Nanjing with several classmates. We all shared the strategy written by Hanako. I was deeply shocked after reading it. In the raiders, from where to go every day, how to get to each train, how long to stay at each scenic spot, to snacks, chewing gum, cold medicine+stomach medicine, mobile phone charger, mobile power supply, pen, paper, toothbrush, towel, comb, change clothes, paper towels, razors, sunscreen and umbrellas on the train, which surprised me. Every time I go out, this is a question that I never think about.
After buying a flashlight, Huadong said, "Go to the supermarket to buy some food and water. I'm going there to have a look. Wait for me for a while. "
He just took a few steps and then came back. "Oh, let's meet here later."
He was leaving again, so I called him and left each other's numbers.
After I bought food and water, I waited for him at the gate of the supermarket for a few minutes. He finally came back. "Guess what I just did? I just went to a restaurant and said to the master,' Boss, what's the fastest meal here? There is a copy.
He went on to say, "There is another buddy with me. We cooked a pot of rice and I ate it quickly. You see, I finished it so quickly. "
I said, "Ah, I just saw you coming out of the restaurant, and then I knew you had dinner."
I coughed several times.
Huadong, "Do you have a cold?"
Me: "No, I just have a bad cough recently."
Huadong, "Do you have any medicine?"
Me, "no"
Huadong, "Then go and buy some medicine."
Me, "No, I'll buy it when I go back."
East China, "It's very cold on the mountain. You'd better buy some, or you can't stand freezing in the mountains. " The main mountain is cold. "
After a few steps, he asked, "Hey, big sister, is there a drugstore near here?"
Someone showed me the way. Leave this mountain.
I said, "Forget it. We have to walk around. It may not be close."
Huadong, "Nothing, let's go."
When he arrived at the drugstore, he asked if he had any cold medicine. Then I said to the pharmacy staff, "This is not a cold, just a cough." The clerk took the medicine, and Huadong asked her, "Will you be sleepy?"
He looked at the medicine before anyone answered. "Oh, this won't make you sleepy."
I just remembered that he is in the pharmaceutical industry.
On the way to the foot of the mountain, he knew that I was a mobile phone developer, and then he kept saying that the salary in our line was high. He said he was envious. I said, "Why don't you join us? Haha, people in our industry like to admit that they are Cheng Xuyuan. "
At the ticket office, when waiting in line, we each have a team to see who buys for each other first. I was in front at first, and then Huadong took the money and the student ID card with me. He came out of another team and was about to give it to me. My window staff made the handover, and I waited for a long time. His team was so fast. If he had not left the team, he could have bought it several times. Then we all sigh helplessly.
At this time, a group of buddies and several sisters are also buying tickets. East China talked a lot, and then I chatted with them.
Later, I went into the mountains, walked a long way and met those people again. Huadong began to chat with them. There are a couple, a very active handsome guy (later called karry) and four sisters. At first I thought they knew each other. Slowly, I realized that the four sisters were always there, and the other three were together.
Huadong had a good time chatting with them, but I was always silent.
Huadong and Kerry have been asking where the four sisters are from. Some of the four sisters are extremely active, some are active, and some are inactive. No matter how I ask them, they just won't say anything. On the way, they talked in their dialect. I didn't understand a word, let alone guess where they came from. They are called foreign friends. Huadong and the handsome boy guessed, "It won't be from Vietnam, haha ..."
Not much to say, but always with them. At first, Huadong chatted with Kerry, "There is a buddy with me. He doesn't talk much, ha ha ... "
Karry, "That must be the man's type of performance ..."
At first, I was a little unhappy, but I thought what he said might be right. Later, he didn't tell me, and then I was relieved.
You know, they are very active. I think they are really different.
When karry walks on the road, he will shout or sing loudly from time to time. Once, at the corner of the mountain road, he shouted to the distance ahead: "The monkey is in front, sing a song ..."
A group of people laughed.
What's more interesting is that someone is really singing and answering the previous words. Then they sang one sentence after another, across time and space, across the distance, in Huashan at midnight, in the silent valley, the song echoed and the lingering sound curled up.
A complete stranger to this song, in the dark, far away, can't see the figure, only the sound.
Sing as much as you can, and those who don't sing will laugh when they hear the dialogue and the song.
A girl on the road asked me, "Why don't you always talk?" Do you want to save your strength for mountaineering? How nice it is to say it. "
I said, "Oh, this is my character."
I was thinking in my heart: "joke, do you want to save your strength when climbing Huashan?" Both Songshan and Taishan have climbed, and going up and down the mountain is not a problem at all. "
As time went on, I became more and more familiar with them, and later talked a little more.
In a rest conversation, I know that karry is in sales. He said that he has been to many places, and Huashan will go to Longnan, Gansu next. He said that it is not easy for a salesman to deal with people, and people will not recognize what they just promised you, saying that many people are so realistic now.
I asked, "Have you ever been to Tibet?"
Karry: "Yes, I have been to almost all parts of the country."
Me, "I'm going to Tibet next year."
I went on to say, "You get along well with people. For example, we often deal with machines and often don't communicate with people, and our communication ability is weakened. "
Karry, "It's good to do software development. If I know a little, I want to do that. "
On the way to climb the mountain, my classmate Ai Jia asked me loudly in a crowded place, "What do you do?"
Me, "me, I'm a programmer. I am a programmer. "
Maybe her voice is loud, and I can't help it. Maybe it was too quiet at night, and many people in the crowd laughed at my answer.
I was a little embarrassed, and then I laughed myself.
Ai Jia, a civil servant in Guangxi, has a loud voice and can be called a woman. On the way up the mountain, he sang several times, "Sister Dashan, yo, yo ...", which attracted passers-by. Later, I thought, I should ask her to sing Eighteen Bends of Mountain Road.
Before I came to Xi, my concept of Shaanxi and Shanxi had been blank. Then I don't know Guangxi. I wonder what else there is in Guangxi besides Guilin and Lijiang.
Later, when I asked them, they said that there was a third sister Liu in Guangxi. "Oh, I see ..."
I can't help thinking of the song "God in the clouds, Fairy in the fog, Mountain of Guilin!"! Love is as deep as love, beautiful as a dream, and love is like the water of Lijiang River! How much do water and mountains weigh? Water around the mountain around Guilin City … waved and asked Laorenshan, how many years have clouds covered the country? -Pearl-returning Cave at the foot of Fubo Mountain, waiting for the pearl to knock on the door in the room ... How charming and affectionate the mountains and rivers are, so that my white hair will never grow! Jiangshan people are proud of this, making me young and not old! Qixingyan went to the fairy society to meet Sanjie Liu. Come back from the sky ... The road between heaven and earth is opened. Come with me if you want to sing a new song! Third sister's folk songs are full of charm, soldiers, and guide the country to sing the motherland ... "
I think I'm going to Guilin.
Continue climbing the mountain. At night, from the mountainside to the top of the mountain, there is a little light on it. Because of the distance, those lights look like twinkling stars in the sky. If you don't carefully distinguish between stars and lights, you really can't tell them apart.
Although Huashan has been a road since ancient times, I can't tell the north from the south on the way to climb the mountain.
When I saw the stars all over the sky, when I saw a particularly big star, I suddenly remembered a summer night long ago, when I was lying on the roof of my hometown quietly watching the stars. After a long time, I have no interest.
Bypassing the mountainside, when I see the moon, I really want to walk quickly, and I really want to reach the top of the mountain before dawn, so that I can see the beautiful moonlit starry sky.
At the height of the mountain, there are several places that are really dangerous when climbing.
At the fork of the north peak and the middle peak, on the ladder, the road is extremely narrow, and two people can climb the mountain in parallel with a steep slope. I had a chubby friend in front of me. He walks very slowly, and I am always blocked by him. Later, in order to run ahead of him, it took me a long time and great effort to wait for the opportunity to catch up with him on the right.
When I climbed up, many people were really climbing the mountain, because their feet were on the lower steps and their hands were on the upper steps.
Do it again. I heard the conversation between the two brothers in front, "I don't want to climb, let's go down."
I smiled on the spot. "No, you can't get down. Look at how many people are behind. "
They see that the bottom can only be parallel to the width of two people, one by one. If you stop at the front, someone will hurry you soon. If you want to go on, you will definitely be scolded.
Going up again, you will reach a small peak, which should be Wuyunfeng. There were so many people there that I got separated from them. Then I met the couple (soybean seeds, small beans) who were together when I went up the mountain alone, and then I chatted with them for a while. Later, I heard Douda talking about a novel or saying to herself, "I'll take a photo and send it to my circle of friends ..."
After a while, I heard a sister next to me say to her companion, "I don't want to climb any more." I want to go down the mountain, but when I came, I said in my circle of friends that I must conquer Huashan. How shameful it would be if I went down now. " No, I have to keep climbing! "
At that small peak, there are many people and the road is dangerous. Many people pass by the cliff. There is only one chain at the cliff, and the crowd is relatively orderly. If there is a riot, if someone pushes it, the people on the cliff will lose control. At that time, I was on the second floor of the outermost circle, and I felt a little thrilling.
I heard someone say, "Don't crowd, even if you don't watch the sunrise, but don't crowd."
Others said, "It's just a process. It doesn't matter whether you watch the sunrise or not ... "
Passerby, "What a rare attitude."
It makes sense that Huashan is famous for its risks. It's okay now. If there were no stone steps to climb and no chains on the side of the road, I think few people would dare to climb the mountain in the snow and ice in winter.
After waiting for a long time, I finally passed the peak, passed through the crowd and got separated from them.
At this time, I had a stomachache again, and then I went to the bathroom. It took some time to get down like this.
When I set off again, I think I will be alone again anyway, and then I can travel leisurely.
But for the bright moon in the mountains, for the dawn and sunrise, I still accelerated my pace.
Originally, I thought I was going to the top of the mountain, but later I found it wrong, and there was still some distance from the top.
After a long walk, I saw East China in one corner of many corners.
I greeted him with a flashlight in his eyes.
East China saw me, "Oh, you finally caught up."
Only then did I find Edgar and Christina there. They are sitting and standing. They said, "It's finally your turn. We stopped and stopped, and then kept shouting' Brother You, Brother You ...' and finally found you ... "
At that moment, my heart was warm.
We met by chance. We are travelers from all over the world. We thought our peers would be separated after a game. I didn't expect you to wait for me.
Go up again, and you will be close to the east wind.
At this moment, I looked into the distance. At the darkest moment before dawn, the mountains in the distance are as white as snow. It turns out that the stones in Huashan are white. The stones in Huashan Mountain are really beautiful.
Looking at the distant mountain, I remembered the record of Yao Nai climbing Mount Tai and the negative snow in Cangshan.
They sat down to rest in the wide area next to the east wind, but I was very excited.
Can you imagine? The sky there is beautiful. The bright moon is in the sky, the Wan Li is clear, the mountains and valleys are empty, everything is silent, and sometimes the breeze blows slowly, and the mountains are faint. The moon is very close and bright, and the stars are dotted with galaxies. One star is very big. I think it should be the morning star, but I couldn't tell the difference between east, west, north and south at that time. I feel that I am in a fairyland outside China, and I can't help but feel like a dream.
I took out my camera and couldn't wait to shoot. It was dark and I couldn't shoot. At first, I thought there was something wrong with the camera, and I thought I couldn't set it. I can't take a good photo at the moment, and that kind of impatience and anxiety makes people very uneasy.
When the east wind comes, it will be dawn. I was thinking, "It's just the right time to get to the top of the mountain. If it is later, we will not see the sunrise. "
However, I waited for the sunrise in a good position, not for twenty or thirty minutes. It turned out to be cloudy, but unfortunately I didn't see the sunrise.
I feel very sorry. Last time I went to Mount Tai, I didn't want to climb at night, and then I didn't watch the sunrise. This time, I made a big decision to climb the mountain at night. On the way to climb the mountain, I regretted not coming during the day twice. Those two times, I was too sleepy to sleep, and I couldn't sleep at night. I am really old.
Before sunrise, several people walked together.
Further on, it is Dongfeng Ding, where there is a ladder to climb, about two or three stories high, with a vertical slope of 90 degrees. I saw many people challenging, and then I climbed up with my camera on my back.
At this time, several girls didn't leave. They fell asleep sitting in the resting place under the roadside.
At the top of the mountain, I stood on the edge of the cliff and looked out. The mountains in the distance are continuous, the sun is hidden in the clouds, and the radiant light shines through the clouds to make the eastern sky flickering. Oh, there is the sun over there, which is the east, but at that time I always had the illusion that it was the west.
Standing on the top of the mountain, I can see the mountains in the distance, or look at the cliffs under my feet, the pine trees in the mountains, the fog on the top of the mountain and the lively crowd, which reminds me. "Is this Huashan?" Huashan Mountain in Ling Huchong? Huashan Mountain with a clear wind and a clean atmosphere? Huashan Mountain in Chen Tuan? Huashan of agarwood? ""Where is the thought cliff? Where is the place where the avatar talks about the sword in the beggar of time, Nan Di Bei? Where is the place where agarwood saves mother? "
If I were alone, I think I would yell at the mountain.
Later, we really went to the place where agarwood split the mountain to save mom. There was a big axe and a lotus lamp, but I asked, "Hey, where is the axe printed on the agarwood chopping mountain?"
One of them said, "Isn't that a cliff? He split it, haha ... "
Several of us went to Nanfeng together, which is the highest point of Huashan Mountain. There, I saw the sea of clouds and looked at the mountains floating in the fog in the distance. They were far away under my feet. It is difficult to find a letter from a distance.
Dou Da said: "This trip to Huashan will be unforgettable for a lifetime. Let's build a WeChat group after going down. "
I had a thrilling experience when I got off the cable car. I found someone at the foot of the mountain to take a photo for us, and then I really built a WeChat group called "Beans and Immortals-On Sword-Top of Huashan Mountain". Each member has a nickname that begins with the word bean. I call it tofu, homophonic, that is, bean seven.
When we left Huashan, the "immortals" said goodbye. Huadong and I went back to Xi 'an by train, and then we had a barbecue and drank wine in the evening. When I left the next day, I said "it's not easy to see you again", and he simply said "good". Then we shook hands and said goodbye.
Later, I went back to the company and told McKee about my Huashan experience. He said, "You are so bold. Aren't you afraid of being cheated when you meet bad people? If they take all your things away ... "
I said, "I was prepared at first, but it took a little longer." I thought they were all good. " There are still many good people. "
The world is in chaos. There are many bad guys. I was really cheated. Some swindlers are so-called intellectuals in their seventies and eighties. I'm really ashamed of him. He writes a good hand, but he pretends to be a celebrity because of the same name and surname. Many people have been fooled, including me.
I used to think that the older one is, the better. Later, I changed my mind because I found another word called old fox.
However, although there are many evil people in the world, I still believe that there are more good people than bad people.
I think of the tramp who cheated on his bike in the movie See you later, but I don't think I will meet anyone like him.
When I left Xi 'an, I heard from a friend that there is a higher mountain in Baoji, Shaanxi, called Taibai, which is the first peak east of the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau in Chinese mainland, with an altitude of 3,767 meters, nearly twice that of Huashan.
I thought Mount Taishan Huashan was much higher than Mount Songshan. When I suddenly heard this, I remembered. I think I must conquer it in the future.
Climbing the mountain is my love, just like the immortal poem Taibai. According to a constant habit in my life, I swear to be separated from my name.
When I came back from Xi 'an to Huashan, I sat next to an old gentleman who lived in Changge. He said in a heavy dialect, "Huashan, Zhao Kuangyin is coming ..."
I don't understand a few words. Later, he emphasized that I remembered the story of Zhao Kuangyin losing to Huashan. The bodhi old zu in Chen Tuan knew for the first time that he was still in Lu Xun's essays. Legend has it that he played a game of chess in Song Taizu and won Huashan. It is not surprising that Huashan Mountain has become a famous Taoist mountain because it is not high.
It is said that Huashan is an evil mountain, and many people are reluctant to go. It is said that the whole of Shaanxi is evil.
A place like this may be the best place for me now. I hope it can bring me good luck.
The misty world, the vast sea of people, people gather and disperse, and the origin is doomed. Maybe it's really destiny takes a hand.
Cherish the fate, never give up, look forward to your arrival, not afraid of your departure, may be a good state.
The trip to Xi 'an is over, and so is the trip to Huashan. I think I will go to many other places in the future.
And heaven remains our neighbourhood, where is home? Let it be.
Sometimes I think, what is the purpose of traveling all over the country and all over the world? I am a little confused, but I must travel all over the country and all over the world.
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