Forgive me for not marrying you, but please forgive me for not marrying you.

Introduction: Two people in a relationship seem to be sitting on a seesaw. If one party is too heavy or the other party is too light, everyone loses interest in the game. Therefore, only a relationship that has roughly equal amounts of love and sincerity from both parties can be long-lasting and happy.

01

If a nearly perfect person appears in your life, you fall in love with him without any doubt, but this almost perfect lover is like a mechanical setting. He cares for you, cares for you, and greets you, but he can't give you the feeling of love. Will you still be with him as always, or even get married?

Daling told me that she gave up on such a lover not long ago. He was almost perfect, but always elusive. He gave him due care, but it was as if he had completed the task and had no warmth.

After questioning, Daling talked to me about the first time she met Mingjun.

On an ordinary working day afternoon, Daling was lying on her desk writing furiously. There was a knock on the door, and Daling turned around and saw a man walking in.

He is about 1.8 meters tall and wears a light blue long-sleeved shirt. It is already sultry in the south in June, but his cuffs are tightly buttoned. The black trousers look very falling, and the length just reaches the instep. Wearing black lace-up leather shoes on her feet, there are no creases on the uppers caused by walking.

He was holding a dark brown briefcase that looked flat and smooth, and walked towards Daling with a smile.

?Hello, I came here for an interview today. ?His voice was clear and loud, and he handed over his resume with both hands, appearing polite.

Daling took the resume and said, "You are Mr. Zhuo Mingjun, who is scheduled to be interviewed for the position of account manager today. Please come to the conference room with me." ?

As usual for every interview, Daling guided the gentleman to sit in the job seeker's seat, and invited the head of the marketing department to start today's sixth interview.

The job applicant and the interviewer sat face to face, and Daling carefully observed the person opposite.

His skin is close to wheat color, with two or three pimples on his cheeks, but it is not shiny. The hairstyle is medium parted, and the volume of hair is not too much, but it is neatly combed without a trace of broken hair. He wears a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, but through the lenses, you can still see the slightly droopy eye bags.

?He should attach great importance to our interview opportunity today, have good self-management skills, and be decent and generous in doing things. ? Daling thought so in her heart.

The person in charge of the marketing department asked him about his previous work experience. He was not impatient and talked eloquently. When asked about his views on the company's existing problems, his answers were steady and bold.

The interview went smoothly, and not surprisingly, the company sent him an offer letter, and he happily accepted the invitation.

02

On the day of registration, Daling went through the onboarding procedures for Mingjun. She gave him the first training as a new employee. After receiving the public supplies, she took him running. Go to the ground and get to know the important leaders of the company.

As a serious and responsible HR, Daling also added Mingjun’s WeChat account and told him that he could ask her any questions at any time.

Later, the two people did not have much contact, just one or two sentences on WeChat occasionally, mostly asking about company-related matters. Mingjun has always been modest and polite, which makes Daling feel happy from the bottom of her heart every time she can help him with a little help.

On his birthday, Mingjun invited a few colleagues in the company who were close to him to have a gathering. In fact, he just used the birthday as an excuse to build a good relationship with his colleagues. Of course Ling was also invited.

When he arrived at the private room of the hotel, he first helped several female colleagues to pull out the chairs and called the male colleagues to take their seats. Finally, he chose to sit down where the food was served.

When ordering, he carefully asked everyone about their preferences and food taboos, and recommended special dishes considering everyone's taste. He enthusiastically poured wine for everyone, and carefully ordered drinks and served hot soup to colleagues who could not touch wine.

During the dinner, he was always polite and well-spoken. He could pick up any joke and talk about any topic. He was a colleague with ordinary relationships at the table, but he had a particularly harmonious meal. atmosphere.

Da Ling saw all this, and that meal made her heart beat faster. She knew that she had been deeply attracted by the personable, humorous man in front of her.

03

The offices of the marketing department and the human resources department are door-to-door. Whenever Daling walks to the door of the office, she always looks into the opposite office.

Mingjun always appears in front of his colleagues in a light-colored shirt, slouchy trousers and spotless leather shoes. Even if his face is tired, he always cleans himself up and grooms himself. Spirit.

Being able to secretly glance at him a few times every day seemed to be Daling's pleasure at work.

Occasionally, the two of them happened to meet at the door of the office. Mingjun always greeted him proactively, with raised corners of his mouth and a friendly smile, but Daling passed by with a faint smile, but no one knew the little deer in her heart. It seemed like he was about to break his chest.

The probation period passed quickly, and Mingjun began to travel to markets across the country. Daling, who couldn't see the figure at the door of the office, felt a little lonely.

About a month passed like this. That morning, when Daling walked to the office door and looked habitually at the office opposite, the man wearing a light-colored shirt, drop-feeling trousers and a spotless The man in leather shoes appeared in front of him again, and their eyes met.

?You, you are back. ?

?Yes. Before the other party could finish speaking, Da Ling ran into the office in a hurry. She was afraid that Mingjun would see her blushing cheeks because of her excitement.

Later, Daling learned from the side that her colleagues in the marketing department would return to the company for two days at a fixed time every month to hold a monthly summary meeting. She looked forward to these two days every month. It feels no less than a child’s expectation for the Chinese New Year.

04

By chance, Daling found out that Mingjun was still single. She was so pleasantly surprised that she could no longer suppress her emotions and used the courage she had accumulated over twenty years. , sent a WeChat message to Mingjun: "I like you, can I be your girlfriend?" ?

As if after experiencing the longest wait in her life, Daling received the message: ?Okay. ?

All this happened too suddenly. She realized that the corners of her mouth were twitching and her eyes were a little moist. She buried her face in her arms, quietly, not daring to be discovered.

As their relationship changed, in addition to seeing each other two days a month, they also had one more phone call a day.

At first, Daling couldn't help but call Mingjun, but the call would often be hung up. After a while, Mingjun would call back and tell Daling that he was busy just now and couldn't answer the call.

After the phone was hung up several times, it changed to Mingjun calling Daling every night to talk about how his day was, and how to add or remove clothes when the weather changes, etc.

Every month, during the two days when Mingjun can return to the company, they will find a favorite restaurant. Mingjun always says that he often travels on business and cannot taste the taste of his hometown, so he goes with Daling Daling was very focused on every meal she ate, and Daling would often watch the other person eat silently, her eyes showing both the joy of finally meeting each other and the distress that Mingjun was traveling around all the time.

05

Day by day, Daling would receive a call from Mingjun. He would do it as a routine, each call would last no more than two minutes, and then he would He hung up because the girl needed to go to bed early for beauty sleep. The conversations on the phone were basically neither salty nor bland topics, and he would occasionally mention the progress of signing orders with clients today.

It’s just that Mingjun’s phone calls are never less than thirty days a month, no matter how late they are.

Every month, Da Ling still looks forward to the two days Mingjun can return to the company. Whenever he comes back after work, Mingjun will still take Da Ling to eat, and a meal can be cooked in half an hour. , and then he sent Daling home and then went to his residence, which would take another half an hour.

Their WeChat interactions were very few, and there were only a few work-related questions sent by Mingjun, asking Daling to help solve them in the company.

Mingjun has always treated Da Ling like a gentleman, and he should pay as much attention as he should, but Da Ling always feels that there is something missing in their relationship, but she can’t tell what it is specifically. .

Whenever festivals come, Daling always expects Mingjun to prepare a small surprise for him, but in the end it always ends with a red envelope of holiday blessings.

Daling has been disappointed and argued with Mingjun. Mingjun explained to her in a soft voice: What if she doesn’t like the gift she bought? It's better to send a red envelope and let Daling buy whatever she needs.

Daling was speechless. She thought maybe this was how straight men expressed their love.

On their first anniversary together, Daling told Mingjun early that she hoped he could arrange his work and take time to come back to spend such an important day with her. Mingjun paused, but Still he promised her to come back without saying a word.

Daling thought for a long time about how to spend this important day in an unforgettable way. Finally, she considered booking a villa for the party, cooking a candlelight dinner for Mingjun, and giving him a carefully selected gift. Then choose a beautiful melody for the two of you to embrace and dance.

Daling was busy for a long time, but she still received a call from Mingjun on the first anniversary saying that she would not be able to come back.

She rushed to the rooftop terrace of the company and cried wildly for a long time.

This matter came to an end because Mingjun felt guilty and made a long phone call to Daling, apologizing frequently and full of self-blame. Daling went to pick another gift and mail it to her. Daling looked at the first gift Mingjun picked and felt mixed emotions in her heart.

06

Time flies, and the lovers have been together for about a year and a half.

On Daling's 26th birthday, she called Mingjun and said, "Let's get married." ?

?Okay. ?

She has been with Mingjun for a year and a half, and they have rarely had any disagreements during this year and a half. Mingjun seems to be deliberately playing the role of a good boyfriend, and tries his best to meet Daling's demands. Satisfied and obedient, Daling was not particularly surprised to get this answer from him.

According to the common sense of the development of the story, of course they agreed on a date and prepared their household registration books to meet at the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau.

But just the night before the appointment, Daling thought about it for a long time. She seemed to have seen her life in the next few decades, which was just living alone with a group of people. There was no excitement, no inseparability. There is no favor that every girl wants, it all depends on one person's enthusiasm, as if life is self-directed and Mingjun is just a passerby.

So she sent a message to Mingjun: "I love you, but please forgive me that I can't marry you." ?

Mingjun was surprised and hurriedly called Daling. Daling hung up. She didn't know what to say.

07

When Daling talked about this, she didn't feel sad at all when her lover broke up. Instead, she smiled and was already indifferent.

She said that Ming Jun was still the image in her mind of someone who loved to wear light-colored shirts, drop-fitting trousers and spotless leather shoes, and had extraordinary conversational skills and outstanding temperament.

He was very good to her. He had the care of his sister from his brother, the encouragement from the teacher to his students, and the care between friends, but he lacked the passion between lovers.

He doesn't love her that much, and he is destined to be unable to give her the happiness in life that only a lover can give.

I can’t help feeling that two people in a relationship seem to be sitting on a seesaw. One party’s weight is too heavy, or one party’s weight is too small, causing both parties to lose interest in the game.

For two people who meet by chance to come together, it should be based on loving each other. I think no matter how impetuous society becomes, no matter how hard it is to find a partner, this is a truth that we cannot abandon.

I recall the video of Ying Caier acting funny in the audience at Jordan Chan's concert, and Xiaochun brother looked at her and laughed naively.

It is said that the best form of love is when you are making trouble and he is laughing. I think that is because there is a heartfelt emotional exchange between each other. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be like? You are making trouble. , he thinks you are probably not a fool. ?

A long-term relationship requires approximately equal amounts of love, approximately equal amounts of dependence on the other half, and approximately equal amounts of sincere devotion.

Therefore, the man you fall in love with and rush to marry may not really be able to bring you happiness. Only when you love each other and stay together in the relationship can you truly get longer-lasting happiness.

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