Jokes about art

1. In high school, the whole school must wear uniforms, and some students who are repeating the class never wear them. The teacher in charge of this aspect squats at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw this classmate not wearing a school uniform and asked him why he was not wearing one. This classmate was furious and said: My mother is not dead, why do I have to wear mourning clothes? 2. An art teacher was somewhat famous, and a certain newspaper published a large-scale report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, my classmates always tell me, Teacher, you are really good. You were even published in the newspaper and had photos... ..." A student asked: "Is this a missing person notice?" From then on, the art teacher refused to allow this student to take art classes. 3. In Chinese class, the teacher asked a sleeping classmate to answer a question, but the classmate was confused and could not say anything. The teacher said helplessly: "Can you do it? If not, just squeak!" The student said: "Squeak." The teacher sweated. 4. When I was in high school, it was almost time to take the exam. One day in geography class, the teacher reported a place name and asked us to answer the questions about the minerals produced there. After talking about many places, the teacher suddenly asked: "What is produced in Jiangnan?" All the boys in the class answered in unison: "Beauties are produced in Jiangnan!" 5. In junior high school, once the biology teacher was talking about the ecological environment on the African grasslands, and the whole class was speechless. When people listened to the lecture, they became angry and said, "You all look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what an African wild cat looks like?" 6. In a high-level mathematics class, the teacher asked one of my brothers: "Calculus is very useful. What is our goal in learning calculus?" The man was absent from work at the time, so he shouted without thinking, "There are no cavities!" The whole class burst into laughter. 7. In the biology class, the teacher said: "Actually, weasels don't eat chickens. Scientists did an experiment. They once locked a chicken and a weasel together. Guess what happened the next day?" The classmate interrupted: "The chicken is pregnant?" 8. In the third year of high school, the geometry teacher was an old lady who liked to brag about herself, which was very annoying. One day in class, I said: "I am very valued in the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study problems together, and every time I am picked up and dropped off by car." I accidentally asked: "Three-wheelers?" "As a result, he was banned from geometry class for a week. 9. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought that we boys were not listening, so she yelled: "What are you thinking?" I was confused at the time, and I didn't know why I said: "I miss you!" There was silence in the classroom for a while, just a pair of frightened eyes looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and yelled: "You are just a stinky hooligan!" What an injustice! 10. When I was in high school, I took a labor class for the first time. The teacher was an old man. He introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan." I suddenly got inspiration and immediately added: "Looking northwest to Chang'an, there are countless mountains." The whole class burst into laughter. , the teacher looked livid, and then I was punished to do heavy work.

Brain teaser:

The math teacher in your class cares about the students and works hard, but he has an obvious shortcoming: he likes to ridicule the students, which makes the relationship between teachers and students tense. As the monitor, you want to give him advice. Think about it, how should you express this opinion?

Answer:

Since you say that he/she cares about students, it means that his/her starting point is not bad. After confirming this point, you might as well take the other approach , return the favor, and if you find the opportunity, you should humor him/her. But what you need to pay attention to is, don’t go overboard, and don’t do it when there are outsiders, otherwise it will have an impact on the class

If a person is upright, he will act without being told; if he is not upright, he will not follow orders even though he is told. ——Confucius

Teaching by example is more important than words. ——Wang Fuzhi

If you want students to be eager to learn, you must be eager to learn. Only a teacher who never tires of learning can teach students who never tire of learning. ——Tao Xingzhi

What the students are asked to do, the faculty and staff do it personally; the students are asked to learn the knowledge, the faculty and staff learn it personally; the students are required to follow the rules, the faculty and staff obey them personally . ——Tao Xingzhi

Those who move people with words will not feel deeply; those who move people with actions will respond quickly. ——Li Zhi

The only source of students’ respect for teachers lies in the teacher’s morality and talent. ——Einstein

A teacher’s personality is everything to an educator. Only a healthy mind can have healthy behavior. ——Ushensky

A teacher’s personal example is the most useful sunshine that nothing can replace for the hearts of young people.

——Ushensky

As long as a teacher lies to a student once and reveals the truth, all his educational achievements may be destroyed. ——Rousseau

If you want to cultivate students into a kind of person, you should be that kind of person. ——Chernyshevsky

The jokes between teachers and students include these:

Cross out names

One day during swimming lessons.

Teacher: If anyone doesn’t get into the water, I will cross out his name on the roll call book.

A certain student: I’m afraid if I make a mistake, my name will be crossed out from my family’s household register.

A quick answer

In class, the teacher came up with a sentence for everyone to do. The requirement was to include religion, royalty, sex and mystery. A classmate was the first to figure it out. His sentence was: Oh my God, the Queen is pregnant. Who did it?

I am an architect

In the composition class, the teacher called Xiaogang, who usually likes to make small moves and has poor classroom discipline, "What is your ideal? Tell everyone. Xiaogang puffed up his chest and replied: "I want to be an architect." The teacher asked with interest: "Why do you choose to engage in architecture?" Xiaogang pointed to the rectangular classroom and said, "What if I become an architect?" "Teacher, I want to make the classroom circular." "Why?" the teacher wondered. "It's impossible for you to make me stand in a corner again."

African wild boar

The biology teacher was happily describing the appearance of the African wild boar on the stage, occasionally scanning the I took a look at the audience and found that most of the students were dozing off, so I was annoyed and shouted: You want to look at me! If you don’t look at me, how do you know what an African wild boar looks like

A happy day

When I was in school, the league secretary couldn’t speak very well. When I joined the league, there was only one person and me. Girls (the kind that are too miserable to watch)

When our league secretary presided over the ceremony, he said without hesitation: "Today is a happy day for two classmates..." The rest of the students burst into laughter. A semester later, when this man presided over the joining ceremony of another classmate, he said: "Welcome XXX classmate to join our happy organization..."