Urgent for private qi zhi's double spring line.

1. Double spring "Confused County Magistrate"

Performance: Soldiers Enlighten Wisdom

So I can present you with a new tune.

The name is confused county magistrate.

Hong Kong (speaking) had this county magistrate in ancient times.

Personally, I think I am stupid.

But when he has money, he won't lament.

(start)

Someone shouted grievances that night.

Knock, knock ...

wrong .................

No, no, no.

Tang Sheng ...

horrible ...

Mile ...

"Who are you in Hong Kong?"

"It's me, Zhang San"

"Mozi will solve it?"

"The cow snapped (lost)."

"When will the land be folded?"

"Fold the land tomorrow"

"Du bold stupid to death as stupid as a pig.

Why didn't you report it yesterday? "

"Oh, my Lord wronged us. The cow was stolen by Li Si next door. He not only stole the cow, but also bit our noses. "

"Pass Li Si to Tang Dan Li Si, why don't you bite Zhang San's nose?"

"Oh, my Lord, I'm sorry. Zhang San bit his nose. "

"Master wronged me. Why do I bite my nose? "

"Sir, he is crawling onto the stool and biting the ground."

"Sir, I can't even bite the roof."

"Don't make so much noise, Sir. I will go to the plane to try K myself tomorrow. If I bite my nose, I will cut off your escape line (life imprisonment). I will sell you to K in Thailand to be a transvestite.

It is now announced that Zhang San, the plaintiff, invited Lao Tzu to lunch and Li Si, the defendant, invited Lao Tzu to dinner. "

"Sir, who just wants a meal?"

"Ah, my Lord, it's okay. The plaintiff died on the beach, just when the defendant called Changjiang. "

"Sir, we both died in your hands. I know you belong to an old (rat) land. If you want to judge me to win, I will give you a gold (only) old promise. "

"Master, master, master, I'll take you to Zhajin, too."

"Du Dadan, do you still dare to take bribes? Wait a minute. Kim confiscated me and your master. I really belong to Xu, but I don't. I belong to Pausch. Xu ... Give me a golden bag. "

2. Qi Zhi's cross talk double reed "Haiyan"

Qizhi: Goodbye.

Soldier: Let me make a request to you. Do you want it?

Qizhi: What are the requirements?

Private: I don't want to say cross talk.

Qizhi: Why not talk about cross talk?

Private: It's boring to talk about cross talk every time.

Qizhi: Why is cross talk boring?

Soldier: I have other things.

Qizhi: What did you do?

Private: I want to get the host back like that.

Qizhi: I have the conditions to preside over you, but you have no conditions.

Private: I have conditions. (Interrupt)

Qizhi: You have the conditions. Look at the beauty of parents. ..

Soldier: I am beautiful.

Qizhi: You are very beautiful.

Private: Look carefully and tell me that I look like Tang Guoqiang at first sight.

Kai Zhi: Tang Guoqiang looks different to me.

Private: That's it.

Qizhi: Tang Shiro, the fourth son of the Tang family. I think you are very similar.

Private: what Tang Shiro? I have a glib tongue.

Qizhi: You have a good foundation.

Private: I have a foundation.

Qizhi: What's your basis?

Soldier: I, I, I can recite.

Qizhi: What?

Private: back.

Qizhi: You say these two words first and recite them!

Private: back.

Marvel: recite

Private: back.

Wonders: Lang Lang, Lang Lang

Private: Lang Lang Lang

Wonder: chanting

Private: reciting

Marvel: recite

Private: back.

Qizhi: recite, then recite, I can't teach you. Seek truth from facts, and we will recite what we say.

Private: Recite (softly)

Qizhi: Let's read a passage of this Gorky Haiyan to everyone. Let me see how your foundation is.

Private: mainly good timbre (action)

Qizhi: You see, his eyes are not only small, but also long.

private:Hai > & gt； & gt Swallow

Kiki: What are you shaking about?

Soldier: Look at what you said, that recognition, ghost!

Qizhi: My handwriting is not good, so you won't tremble.

Private: Gorky is in the vast sea.

Curious: alas

Soldier: What is he doing there?

Qizhi: Where did you read about him? Where did he go?

Private: The wind is gathering dark clouds. Alas, it's going to rain, too.

Qizhi: There is no such word.

Private: Between the dark clouds and the sea, Haiyan flies proudly like black lightning. Very interesting.

Wonder: it's a mess. If you want to be a program host, you have to read poetic tone and punctuation.

Private: I forgot to look at that punctuation mark.

Qizhi: Come again, come again.

Private: Haiyan and Gorky are in the vast sea.

Qizhi: You didn't read the punctuation mark again, so you have been reading Gorky to the sea.

Private: comma

Curious: alas

Private: The storm is gathering dark clouds, another comma. There is a comma between the dark clouds and the sea.

Curious: alas

Private: Haiyan is like Black Lightning. Are you bored? This is just a comma.

Curiosity: What is just a comma?

Soldier: Flying proudly.

Qizhi: Stop reading.

Private: period.

Curiosity: I want to be a program host when I meet such a person. I'll read it to you as I do it. Haiyan Gorky, in the vast sea, the wind gathers dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, Haiyan flies proudly like black lightning.

Private: It's really charming.

Qizhi: Come on, perform it again.

Private: Please enjoy the double reed, the petrel of Gorky.

Private: Haiyan Gorky, in the vast sea, the wind gathers dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, Haiyan flies proudly like black lightning. For a while, the wings hit the waves, and for a while, the arrow went straight to the dark clouds. It cried, this is the prophet of victory. Let the applause be more violent. Look at this stupid duck girl. What dance does she dance? She reads "The Color Woman", washes the sauna and caresses here.

Qizhi: Come out, you crooked-mouthed monk.

Thank you.

3. Double reed "radio station"

Prologue: Today, the two of us will perform the double reed. It's interesting to say this double reed. It requires one person to perform while doing actions in front, and another person to say lines in the back. Seen from a distance, it looks like a person. This requires two people's performances to be very tacit and harmonious, otherwise the double spring will not be called double spring. Come on, come on, put on your makeup. As the saying goes, people wear clothes and saddles, people are unsuccessful and people are not beautiful. After this man succeeds, let's take a look again. It is better not to succeed! Next, I will bring you a new work called Radio. I hope you like it! Then the two of us began to perform!

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Nanning Haliyou Radio Station, anchor 250, broadcast in China, like it or not, has already started broadcasting. Hello, listeners. I'm a radio host. My name is boring. Although I am similar to the ignorant name of a famous host, I have nothing in common except my outstanding appearance. All right! Now, please enjoy the weekly song. Why is it called "Zhou Song"? That is to say, there is a sister who changes her male brother every week! Please enjoy China Rumors sung by Zhao Zhixiang, a famous Nanning singer. Hey! ! ! ! I'm stuck with you. What are you singing? You are a China folk song! ) This is Nanning folk song! ! Who taught you that? It's me ! You taught you this nursery rhyme is unsanitary! Yes! You said that some songs on radio and TV are being played inexplicably now! Sing some healthy songs! ! ) Nanning Haliyou Radio Station, the following is the advertising time, a series of advertisements of Happiness brand insoles: My children have been anorexia and picky eaters since they got beriberi, and they are prone to catch a cold. What should I do? After using the Happiness brand insole, he will be fine, not anorexic, not picky about food, taller and more resistant. Happiness brand insole! Practical and convenient! Friend! Do you want to eat baked sweet potatoes? Baked sweet potato is fragrant, cheap and rich in vitamin A.B.C.D.E.F.G Wholesale place, corner of Chaoyang Square! Friend, do you need toilet paper? Please choose the scratch-pain brand sand produced by our factory! Friend, do you want to lose weight? I'll introduce you to a new set of slimming exercises! Reach out your hands, take them away, take out your tongue, reach out! Get ready! Left, right, left, right, up, down, come on, I'm a dog! As the saying goes, a hundred steps can live 99 after a meal, and a cigarette after a meal is a fairy! I am a fairy! I have ascended to heaven! I'm dying! Come out!

A: (puts down the phone)

B: The transportation is convenient and the bus is fast. My wife will go home soon. I will prepare glutinous rice flour for you. The oil in the fire is boiling, and joy and fragrance are floating inside and outside the house.

A: (holding it)

Oh, it's too hot! ..... delicious. Eat one more ... oh, ... eat one more, oh, eat one more, oh, eat one more ...

A: (unbearable heat) Stop, stop, do you want to burn me?

B: Didn't you say Huanxituo was delicious? I want you to eat more.

A: It's just fried, and it burns your mouth!

B: ok, I'll pay attention to it next.

A: Again, pay attention. (Clap your hands)

B: I want to drink some wine after eating Huanxituo. Jingshan HSBC wine is really delicious. No one to accompany? I'll call my son.

A: (on the mobile phone)

B: Hello! Son, can you come back and have a drink with me? Ann? Your mobile company is creating a provincial civilized unit. How busy are you? Then forget it. I'll drink in front of the mirror!

A: (puts down the phone)

I clean the mirror first. Ha ha.

A: (Breathing, cleaning the mirror)

B: Shallow feelings, a little more, thin feelings, drinking coke, having feelings, drinking white wine, having strong feelings, drinking high, having good feelings, throwing bowls, having deep feelings, and it will be clear at once!

A: (Drunk)

I drank bowl after bowl, bowl after bowl. Uh, is this the tongue ... Is Lang disobedient? The earth is really ... really turning! God ... there are stars in the sky! Oh, I ... I'm giving up!

Answer: (Get up and walk if you have urine)

B: A kilo of wine, just walk as usual, stagger to the door, and open the door to relieve yourself. Alas, untie your hands, and everyone saves a lot.

A: (Back to the original seat)

Come on, keep drinking! After drinking white wine and beer, I drank one cup at a time ... only to hear my wife shouting: that's the one who peed in the refrigerator! Oh, dear! I just went to relieve myself, and when I opened the door, I saw a induction lamp inside. ...

A: (B) Uh-huh, uh-huh, I'm not necessarily drunk!

B: Not the one who peed his pants after drinking too much!

A: What you said seriously affects the image of modern farmers!

I'll pay more attention.

A: Please come again. (Clap your hands)

B: New Year's Eve is really lively. Every family sticks couplets and sets off firecrackers, which is suitable for all ages. Whipping is not allowed in the city now, but it is still open in our hometown. I let Bart play with Sun Wazi's guns, and I brought some guns back. I took them out to play!

A: (takes out lighter)

B: Stop fighting. This whip is loud!

Answer: (light the whip and throw it out)

B: Shh. ...

A: (covering his ears)

B: Bang! Interesting. Have another drink.

Answer: (point the whip and shake it twice)

B: Shh …, shh …, shh …

Answer: (After there is no hiss, check the whip.)

B: Bang! !

A: (falls to the ground)

B: I turned! (takes out his mobile phone and dials) 120? Please come to Yuanyang River in Lvlin Town as soon as possible. An old urchin is injured! (Picking up armor) Since your spare capacity is insufficient, why drink and set off firecrackers! (under the carapace)

okay

Haojile

corner

okay