Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A little drag personality, talk about mood.

A little drag personality, talk about mood.

First, love your parents, because they give you life, and they are also the most selfless people who love you.

Second, live an easy life and prepare for the best and the worst.

3. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me? !

Fourth, I don't hesitate to play treasure knife, and changing wine is also awesome; A cavity of blood is diligent and precious, even if spilled, it can become Bi Tao.

Fifth, calculate the courage of life, not because of people's fever. Those laity, narrow-minded, how can you understand me? When a hero has no way out, it is inevitable to encounter setbacks.

I really miss being a child. I can go shirtless like a man on a hot day!

Seventh, the stars tilt down from the empty place, and the moon runs along the river.

Eight, fate is responsible for shuffling, but it is ourselves who play cards!

Nine, all reactionaries are paper tigers!

Ten, the ultimate happiness. Makes me want to die. I can't even take time away.

Eleven, the piano moves the Wulin sword in your hand.

Twelve, the king of Qin rode a tiger to swim the octupole, and the sword was shining through the sky.

Thirteen, if you live in troubled times, don't ask Wenda for princes.

Don't try to control others and don't ask others to understand you.

Fifteen, how dare I not believe that you have the face to lie?

Sixteen, get out of here. Keep rolling.

Sorry, miss, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.

I smoke because it hurts my lungs. I'm not sad.

Nineteen, special efforts, I thought about it, and I did all the first four.

Twenty, a game, a rule. Can afford to play, continue; Can't afford to play, out.

Twenty-one, my brother is not lonely, spring is coming; I don't call it loneliness, I call it bed.

Twenty-two, read more books and read more books.

Don't say you can't do it! If you were alone, you would do it!

Twenty-four, Dapeng has a pleasant day, soaring above the Nine Wan Li!

Twenty-five, BBK lighters, where will not be ordered.

Twenty-six, cucumbers must be filmed, and life must be high.

27. What is a class teacher? It is a person who has destroyed your friendship, your love and your affection.

Twenty-eight, God is obedient to me, God is prosperous, and God is against me, which is called death!

Twenty-nine, women are good at makeup, men are good at camouflage.

30. The woman is China Merchants Bank and the man is China Construction Bank.

Thirty-one, cross the rubicon, 102 Qin Guan will eventually return to Chu; More than 3,000 armour can swallow Wu.

Thirty-two, happiness. It turns out to be so simple. Just use your heart. You can see it.

Personality is a bit heavy. Tell me about it.

1. If the whole world betrays you, I will stand behind you and betray the whole world.

2, don't be sentimental, there is no one in this world who is not injured.

3. You grow up, you are crazy, and you are nostalgic. It's all your own business.

That year, we met in youth, but said goodbye in indifference.

5. The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. I'm not afraid of 10 thousand people blocking me, but I'm afraid of surrendering myself.

6. The memories you mentioned are nothing at all.

7. After persistence, memory is nothing more than that.

I can confidently tell you that he will be with you because you look like me.

9. Don't hurt me too lightly, but be cruel. I'm afraid I won't forget you, and I'm even more afraid I won't die.

10, if you start to miss me, remember, it's not that I want to leave, it's that you put it down.

1 1, it's not that I've changed, but that I understand; I will treat others as others treat me.

12, never explain, people who know you don't need it; People who don't understand you don't deserve it

13, if you can't keep anything, just throw it far away, maybe it will bounce back after hitting something.

14, I never want anything that doesn't belong to me.

15, never tell me, I can't live that long.

16. If he says goodbye, I will never stay, not once.

17, you treat me as an invisible man, but I won't treat you as a colored man.

18, your man, elder sister designated disdain, elder sister's man, you simply can't afford to play.

19, I believe that the end of love is you, and no one can replace it.

20. Take you to heaven, or I will throw you into hell myself.

2 1. Anyone who loses another person will live as usual.

22, black you are not unreasonable, you asked for it.

23. The biggest revenge for you is to live happier than you.

24, life is too long, you are just a landscape!

25. There can be many people you like, but only one person is in love.

26. Nothing money can solve is a problem.

In this world, no one deserves my tears, because the one who deserves them won't make me cry.

28. Some things are innate and indelible.

29. If I were your passer-by, I would like to be your guest.

As long as your heart is cruel enough, nothing in this world will make you sad.

3 1, I like you, I love you, it's none of your business.

32. In order to avoid sadness when leaving, I like to say goodbye in advance.

33. I'm fine. I don't make noise, I don't brag, I don't want to be sarcastic, and I don't need others to know.

There are no memories between us, so there are no memories.

People say that you have changed because you didn't live according to his idea.

36. An attractive woman has enough willpower to resist a man's attack and enough charm to prevent a man from retreating.

37. If you are pure, there will be no sewer in this world.

38. Some things are not that I don't care, but what if I care.

39. Your betrayal can make me brilliant.

Since you have chosen to run counter to me, don't look back.

4 1, no matter how much I love you, it is not worth saying that I marry you!

42. Life is not a TV play. Who are you pretending to be innocent for?

43, some mistakes, once is enough, don't make the second time.

As far as I'm concerned, I won't give anything that belongs to you to others.

45. Russia has said that no one will make Russia cry again.

You can laugh or cry, and you don't have to be protected by others.

Thank you for being so inhuman, at least it didn't ruin the rest of my life.

I don't want anything that doesn't belong to me. I don't want what I didn't really give me.

49. I am who I am. What do you think of me is neither necessary nor necessary.

Even if both employers and employees are single, they will have the same prosperity.

A little awkward QQ. Tell me about it.

I don't mind giving up halfway if everything becomes boring.

It's not that I won't take part in accidental amusement. I just don't want to waste my acting skills on you.

If you think I'm gullible, please continue. I'll watch you perform.

Fourth, you always have to cook on a bad day, just as smelly socks always have to be washed by yourself.

Don't be curious about me. Whether it is love or friendship, you are not worthy to be my enemy.

Six, don't try to guess my appearance, because people are sinister, I have learned to be ever-changing.

Seven, don't care about things, why explain.

Eight, some people say that love is like fishing, there is no need to waste bait when you are hooked.

Girl, your tears are golden beans, not everyone deserves them.

I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?

Everyone has a glorious moment, don't treat a moment as permanent!

Twelve, always wandering at the poles of insomnia and lethargy, willful and arrogant.

Thirteen, you must become a snake and a scorpion so that you won't let anyone down.

14. I hope lonely people don't have to be brave. I hope brave people will always have a shoulder beside them.

Fifteen, who loves who is more is far from owing the most, but just willing to be mean.

If you want to leave, I won't insist or expect you stop for a minute.

Seventeen, don't judge me by my past, I'm not who I used to be.

18. The love I want is not the pity you give when your sympathy is overflowing.

Nineteen, people can't empathize because their thoughts, experiences and senses are different. Just as I said the sea was beautiful, you said many people drowned.

Thanks to you, I smoke, drink and swear now.

Twenty-one, I'm not too weak to stand up forever.

Twenty-two, invest love in a person and take risks; It is dangerous to put love into many people.

My parking lot is too small for your permanence.

Twenty-four, one hundred people have one hundred people. I'm a good man and a bitch.

Twenty-five, the slag has an ambition: never review for the exam.

Twenty-six, don't think that a little special treatment is human.

Twenty-seven, anyway, I am my own day. I can't just say that!

Twenty-eight, you will be tired if you have a heart, and it doesn't matter if you have no heart.

I stick to my style, and I live in my time.

Thirty, your home is wholesale, isn't it dazzling? No wonder you can't stop being a bitch.

Thirty-one, my heart is with you, and you still care about what I am doing.

32. I am not a glass or crystal, and I will not be easily seen through.

I want to get drunk and slap myself.

Qq is a funny talk, and it is a little funny to talk about personality.

Qq is super funny. Tell me about it.

1. Now there are four kinds of men that are most popular with women. They are Gao Fushuai, short, rich, handsome, tall, rich, ugly, short, rich and ugly. . . At present, there are four kinds of women who are most popular with men. They are, white rich beauty, short rich beauty, white poor beauty and short poor beauty ~ ~

2, the legendary seven fairies, rotten women, house girls, erotic women, black-bellied women, road idiots, leftover women, gold losers, anthomaniac! Who are you?

3, high school is enough money to spend, sleep enough, college is enough money to sleep enough, just go to work now, not enough money to sleep enough?

4. What would you do if your life had only the last 12 second? Governor of the People's Bank of China, print money quickly; Development and Reform Commission, hoping to adjust the oil price again; NBA superstar, 12 seconds, the game is far from over; China basketball commentator, at the last 12 seconds, handed the ball to Yao Ming; Liu Xiang, I'm not bragging. 1 10 meter hurdles I'm sure I can finish in 12 seconds. Ray, I'm sorry, but I still want to go with Miss Yang. ....

5. Gao Shuai got rich and won! Bai, mi! Male diaosi, slap! Female diaosi, hey! Older female diaosi, Mao. If you can understand it, go face to face!

6. Kindergarten wants to go to primary school. Because I heard that there is no need to take a nap in primary school. Elementary school wants to go to junior high school. Because I heard you don't have to sit with your hands behind your back. Junior high school wants to go to high school. Because I heard that high school teachers can't manage east and west. High school wants to go to college. Because I heard that there is a lot of free time in college. The university wants to work. Because I heard there was no class at work. I want to go to kindergarten after work. . .

7, this is the legendary car shock, please consciously grasp the rhythm, the rhythm is one, two, three.

8. The black driver was carrying a white mother and son. The child asked, why is the color of uncle driver different from ours? Mother replied that God created people of different colors to make the world colorful. The black driver insisted on not collecting money at the destination. He said that he had asked his mother the same question when he was a child. My mother said that we were black and doomed to be inferior. If she had your answer, I would have achieved something different today.

9. It's the annual break-up season again, and the home page reminds us that it's the New Year again. Frequent homecoming, homecoming, homecoming and couples are separated. Those students who are separated because of the holiday must look after their boyfriends!

10, the QQ signature was changed at the end of the year. How many year-end bonuses did my boss give me? I wish my boss how many days he can live! As a result, the boss dragged me into the office for a long time. After I returned to work, I thought about it and changed my signature to how much year-end bonus my boss gave me. I wish the boss how many years he can live! After that, nothing happened. On the day of awarding the year-end bonus, I found that there was an extra thousand dollars in the red envelope! Practical technical post, learning

1 1, a, how about that? Have you two been working hard recently? We have been trying hard these days, but we can't do it. A, or less than 1 minute? Hey ... I went in once, but it was only 12 seconds. Then you two should look at the tickets.

12, broke up with my boyfriend. -Why? You're fine. -I can't stand him. This is a hole. It's in my nose. Ah, it's so abnormal, but it won't break up. -The point is, he really went in. He went in.

13 and 20xx's wages have really gone up. I love the party more in my heart, and I can reward my children and let my parents praise me. I dare to shout when I see my wife, chat with my friends, want to try seafood bear's paw, pay the bill after dinner and rob me, go shopping in my spare time, occasionally go to the sauna and meet beautiful women. In my dream, my girl was really cool, and the price went up again.

14. Today, michel platini has been a husband, mistress of the Commission for Discipline Inspection, doctor and butcher, teacher and businessman, urban management hooligan, artist and writer, money law, Weibo media, actress escort, yellow light and red light, prison pension and underwear location.

15, long-term workers live in the building and are charged rent by the landlord. One day, the housekeeper told the landlord that the long-term workers had been rich in recent years. They live in your house, so it's not worthwhile to pay the rent every month. Anyway, they will live forever. It is better to sell the house to them, call the public house for sale, and say that the house will always be theirs and you can get back the money you have saved in recent years. The landlord said, "What about the rent? The housekeeper said that according to the receipt, a Japanese name is called property fee.

16, when I was a child, I saw the goat on TV take the heroine to XXOO, eager for the hero to come to save the United States quickly; Seeing the same scene now, I hope that the protagonist will never come out to make trouble. Time is a poor knife.

17, when you are afraid of sleeping at night, just fold the quilt on both sides, and then lift your feet to fold the quilt down, and your shoulders are tightly stuffed, and suddenly you feel safe! ! These are all made of single diaosi, otherwise nothing will happen if you just hug the people around you (~) ...

18. In winter in Beijing, I ordered a breakfast at a roadside shop. After drinking a hot drink, all the cells in my body seem to be activated by the warm current. I can't help praising you. I didn't expect your store to be small, but the coffee is quite distinctive! This is milk, sir, said the waiter patting the dust on his shoulder. . .

19, one day, the girl was drunk, and the boy sent her home, opened the door and found that the situation was wrong. The girl turned over the chess game from home, and the boy understood it in 5 seconds and slammed the door. Why! (the boy plays red chess and goes red).

20. For mom, what we say most is, mom, where are my clothes? Mom, what shall we have for dinner? Mom, can I go out? Mom, I'm hungry, and for dad, what I say most is dad. Where's my mother? We all have a good mother. If you love her, give it to her!

2 1. Just now on the bus, I suddenly heard the sound of clicking on WeChat behind me. The landlord suddenly had evil thoughts, and his mobile phone was set to mute and vibrate. At first glance, the avatar is the goods. So the landlord sent him a message, saying, "Being original is a divination every day." . Today, you are on the No.9 bus, carrying a brown leather bag. Please get off the bus as soon as possible, or there will be a massacre. Then the goods got off.

22. The toilet at home is blocked. Dad thought for a moment and then turned to go out. Ten minutes later, he brought back three pounds of loach and poured it into the toilet. After half an hour, the toilet was clear. Well, that's what it is. From then on, he stopped eating loach and resolutely refused to eat it.

23. The leather factory closed down! The boss lost 300 million in gambling. The boss ran away with his sister-in-law! Boss, you are not human! Scum! Give me back my hard-earned money! It won't end well! There must be retribution While waiting for the bus last night, this accusation broadcast came from the opposite side repeatedly, but every word was bloody and clear-cut, and I thought it was something until the last key sentence came out; Bags that used to cost 200 or 300 pounds can now be done at 20 pounds. Oh, do you have it there?

24. Call your best friend at night and say, "Hey, what does your mother force you to do?" There was a fucking voice on the phone, "I forced him to do his homework. . . "

25. The professor asks questions. What should you say if you have to go to the bathroom when you are eating with the woman you like? County magistrate, I have to pee. Professor, it's impolite. Mayor, I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back. Professor, this is not bad. The warden said, "just a moment, please. I'll shake hands with a brother." I hope I can introduce him to you tonight. " The professor admires it, which shows that the bigger the leading cadre, the higher the level.

26. Grandpa went to the city to see the dentist. As soon as the doctor said he was going to be anesthetized, Uncle took out his wallet in a hurry. The dentist said thoughtfully, don't worry, grandpa, don't pay in a hurry, just pay after seeing the doctor! Grandpa, oh! Before anesthesia, I just want to make sure how much money I have in my wallet. Dentist,

27. Do you dare to turn around and let others judge you? A. cute B, lively. C, terrible. D, indifference E. very good. F, mature G. beautiful H, chic. Me, keep a low profile. J hates it. K, fun. L, easy to get along with. M, two goods. N, hypocrisy. Oh, idiot. P, playboy. Q, not sensible. R, fool. S, crazy.

28. In the legal human organ market, corneas cost $24,400 each; The heart is worth $997700; The price of liver is $557, 100; Kidney, $62,000 in China and $262,900 in the United States. If you have no illness, no pain and no damage to your internal organs, you are already a millionaire. Therefore, don't work too hard to make money, and don't have a hard time with your body.

29. Remember to play hide-and-seek with children when I was a child. When the children were all in hiding, I went home for dinner.

30. Some girls in the subway are playing truth or dare. I asked my partner to join them and let a girl kiss me after he won. He lost the first round, and when the girl asked him to kiss me, he kissed my face. Go back to the game and lose, and be asked to kiss me again and again. The subway arrived, and I finally couldn't help rushing out. Looking back, he was giving money to the girls in the carriage. What's the matter?

3 1. Now hospitals don't even show the sex of children according to B-ultrasound. That day, I accompanied my girlfriend to the hospital. A pregnant woman has just finished B-ultrasound, and the doctor is ready to leave. Before leaving, pregnant women told doctors, doctors, that baby clothes are now greatly discounted. I want to buy it early! Do you think I should buy something cool in black or something cute in pink? The doctor smiled. It looks good in black. This is also a kind of learning, and I have learned it.

32. Shanglian, a project, two computers, three meals, and a box lunch, only 4,000 wages, all internal organs were damaged, and it was very hard to get up at seven o'clock and have a meeting at eight o'clock to deal with nine loopholes; Bottom line, ten years of coding, nine years of overtime, eight faces are all light and busy, and in the end, six parents don't recognize five bodies, and their limbs are still weak. Working overtime at night is only for two stinking money. Criticize and force programmers.

33, CCTV, we are happy, you envy; Second, we love telling cold jokes; Three sets, watching songs and dances, thinking about people's livelihood and democracy; Four innings, Japan and South Korea toss, Hong Kong and Macao obey; Five sets, big ball to see the world, small ball to see China; Six sets, free movies, fighting every day; The central seven sets, the troops are mighty, and the peasants are not bitter; Eight episodes, there is no domestic good film, only new Thailand and Korea are broadcast; Opera Channel, you must listen to Beijing Opera, because you have no choice.

On the first day, the white rabbit went fishing and found nothing. The next day, it went fishing again, as usual. On the third day, as soon as it arrived, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted, "If you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will trample you to death." . What you pay is what you want to pay, not what the other person wants. Efforts to live in your own world are worthless!

35. I saw a classmate's signature, which said that I had been educated since I was a child. Don't throw away used batteries. Damn it, I'm 22, and the country hasn't told me where to throw it!

36. The incoming text message is 10086, but the incoming call is to urge the credit card to be returned, and knocking at the door is to check the water meter. QQ online prompt sounds and jumps out of the news window, but the unread email is opened, but the mailbox has added new functions. Finally, 1 new comment jumped out of the top of Weibo, but was asked to change the powder. . . Although this feeling is lost silently, we are still looking forward to it ... aren't we?

37. It suddenly occurred to me that, like us, older children have their elders in the world, and younger generations have their juniors in the world. They are single and unmarried, and go home for the New Year just to get into the hall, get out of the kitchen, get close to their relatives, get to know their classmates, stand up to praise and pressure, check their homework, repair toys, get a room and get a good electrical appliance. Why do I feel like a universal transformer! ! !

38. A drunk driver was stopped by a traffic policeman. As soon as he got off the bus, this guy grabbed a bottle of Wuliangye and tilted his neck and drank half a bottle. Then while drinking, I said, I'm not drunk, I'm drunk. Now that you drink it, you can't drive, or you will be detained for six months. I will park my car here. You can write a ticket and drag it away. I took a taxi and left. I'll pick it up tomorrow. The traffic police were at a loss ... ~

39. I studied in 12 years from primary school to university. I believe that in 12 years, I can become a new star in Chinese music by singing. After practicing physical education 12 years, I will become a national athlete; 12 play e-sports, I want to enter will;; Playing the piano 12 years will make you a teenager. Playing basketball 12 years, high, medium and top players; But I studied 12 years, and I am nothing.

40. Go home by bus after work and pass by a bus stop. When I turned around, I saw a MM running towards the bus, but the bus had started beautifully, so the Jianghu plot of the hero saving the United States emerged instantly. I shouted impassioned, master, stop it! Just when everyone looked at me in unison, I saw MM get on someone else's car, so I got off in everyone's expectation.

4 1. Sometimes, we are like fish in a fish tank. We want to talk a lot, and when we open our mouths, it becomes a series of ellipsis. . . . . . Finally, they all stayed in my heart silently. . .

42. The police caught the terrorists, tortured them and refused to move. Finally, the police took the terrorist to a warm bedroom and covered him with a warm quilt. Comfortable to let him sleep until 7: 30 in the morning and suddenly open the window. It was cold outside and the alarm clock rang. The terrorists cried and shouted, I said everything! Let me sleep for another five minutes, just five minutes!

43, blind date is bitter, blind date is tired, and it doesn't match for a long time. Smoke and sugar, or yellow. Parents followed, family followed, and they frowned. Some say it's not good, some say it's good, and it's not the end yet. When it comes to family and age, it is impossible to farm at home. I was annoyed, smiling, and shocked to see each other. Picking tall and thin is like buying pork in the market. Look at the five senses, look at the appearance, and react slowly.

44. A pregnant woman suffered from labor pains. The doctor recommended the latest high-tech product DNA pain converter to her husband, which can quickly transfer the pain brought by the newborn to the biological father. The husband agreed. At three o'clock in the afternoon, the delivery was easy and smooth, but the husband didn't feel any pain at all. The doctor was very surprised. On the same day, there was bad news from his wife's unit. The top leader had inexplicable pain all over his body, induced myocardial infarction, and died suddenly in the office at 3 pm.

45. Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My character comes from who I am and my attitude depends on who you are.

46. A countryman crossed the bridge and even led a small four-wheeled tractor into the river. In the blink of an eye, the man jumped out of the water with a dive, and others pulled him up. After landing, the man laughed. People thought he was scared crazy and asked, what are you laughing at? What are you laughing at? The man asked, I am still alive and my fur is not hurt. Isn't it worth laughing at? A mentally sound person can find reasons for happiness no matter how many misfortunes he encounters, but you are still alive, and you can do many things alive.

47. Having lived in Weibo for a long time, I often pretend that I know more about real-life news than others. I have long known that they talk about news, and I am tired of talking about online words. I can't laugh at all my jokes, and I don't know much about gossip stars. . . Alas, every time I appear in front of them as a noble Leng Yan. . . I really didn't pretend, you know. . .

48. The first time I came to London, I met the fog for the first time. She got lost and lost her glasses. At this time, I heard soft Mandarin ringing in my ear, and I got lost, didn't I? Where are you going? Let me take you there. The man showed her around and soon reached her destination. Seeing his blurred face in the fog, she asked curiously, "Are you blind?" ? He smiled and replied, No, I'm from Beijing. .

49. McDull said, if you are unhappy, let it go. It's okay to be sad, but it's not good to hurt your stomach Mcdull said, we should know how to cherish the guardian and cherish everyone around us, because we twisted our neck in our last life and only met in this life! Mcdull said, if you have something to say, don't wait for the other person to understand, because the other person is not you, and you don't know what you want. In the end, it can only be sadness and disappointment, especially feelings.

50. It's lucky to hear for the first time that you put a condom in your wallet, because it contains the essence (gold)! ! Ha ha ha, don't forget to put TT in your wallet in the future, just in case.

5 1. Yesterday, I felt uncomfortable in my back. I went to the drugstore to buy two plasters. I went to a family planning product before and saw a Durex with granules, saying that it could increase the woman's pleasure. The publicity is very attractive. I haven't used it. I bought a box and wanted to try it. I called my girlfriend and told her that she blurted it out. Don't buy that. It's no use fooling people! ! ~ Why do I feel wrong?