Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Seeking Tai Jingnong's "Hall"

Seeking Tai Jingnong's "Hall"

Baitang

■ Author Tai Jingnong

At dusk, Wang Er pawned the little coat and blue cloth for 400 yuan and put it on Jiang Da's house. With the money, I ran to Wu Sanyuan's grocery store and sat in the shabby big chair in front of the counter, giggling.

"Second child, where are you from?" Wu Jiaer asked the shopkeeper.

"From home. Please give me three sticks of incense and count twenty yellow watches. "

"What are you doing?"

"People write books and let me buy them."

"So there are no candles?"

"Damn it, forget the candles, then bring me two candles."

Wu Jiaer, the shopkeeper, wrapped the incense table candles together, calculated the account and paid the money. On the way home, Wang Ermo thought: It's not a good thing to marry a sister-in-law, although there is one in the world. My brother died only a year ago, and that's it. I'm really sorry. On the other hand, if my sister-in-law doesn't urge me every day, I can forget it without kowtowing. But she is also right: her stomach looks bigger every day. If a boy and a girl are born, who is it? You might as well kowtow to cover your shame. People are jokes anyway.

Go home and put the incense paper on the clay altar. Sister-in-law sat at the door, facing the bright shoes.

"Is everything ready?" She stopped the needle and asked Wang Er.

"Everything is ready, incense, candles and yellow watches." Wang Er squatted on the ground and answered, lighting a match and smoking a cigarette.

"Why not buy a gun?"

"Are you afraid that people don't know, but also shoot?"

"Then if you don't shoot, you can fool people!" She sighed deeply. "Since lost ugly, total want to figure a lucky, after a long time in the future, to survive. I want to buy two pieces of lamp red paper and stick it on the window. "

"Can my dad tell him?"

"Tell him what to do? He can't care about those who die more and live less. He only knows how to ask people for money to drink every day. " She said angrily. "There will be relatives in the evening. I want to find Aunt Tian Tong, Zhao Er's family. Go and tell her. "

"I'm not going, sorry."

"Hum," she gave him a heavy look. "If you want to make sense, you shouldn't do such a shameful thing!" She said coldly and calmly.

At this time, Wang Er's father came back slowly. There is a small hip flask in the right hand and a white bowl with a small piece of tofu in it in the left hand. He put the hip flask on the altar and saw the packet of incense paper, so he said unhappily:

"Shit, why did you buy these things?"

Wang Er ignored him and still smoked.

"What is your mother's wish? You have no skills at all. You can make a fortune by wishing? "

Wang Er still ignored him. He found a pair of chopsticks and slowly stirred the tofu, ready to drink. The whole room was silent, only the sound of chopsticks banging on the bowl, the sound of Wang Er smoking and the sound of Wang Sao wearing shoes.

The town has been playing the second watch, most people are asleep, and the whole town is silent.

She took advantage of the dead of night, carrying a small lantern that was sneered at, and quietly went to find Aunt Tian. Chai Men, who has just arrived at Tian Jiahuo, has been listening to the sound of spinning in the room. She knows that Aunt Tian has not slept yet.

"Aunt, you open the door. Ha is spinning. " She stood outside the door and said.

"Is that Mrs. Wang? Where did you come from? Did you both play? " Aunt Tian had already stopped spinning and opened the door to meet her.

She sat in a small chair where Aunt Tian was spinning and didn't speak for a long time. Aunt Tian is very strange and it is difficult to ask. Finally she said:

"Aunt, I have something to do ... that's ..." She stopped again and said nothing. "It's a scandal, now there are two. Aunt, this is a scandal. Now she has been pregnant for four months. " Her head was low and her voice was low. "I don't hate my life suffering, but I hate Wanda for losing me, leaving me alone, without a mother-in-law, only this father-in-law who died more and lived less. ..... Want to commit suicide by hanging several times, ... "

"Hey, Mrs. Wang, how can you say that! What do small families keep? In addition, there is no clue; How many families who are even rich can keep it? "

"I really have no face to see people now ..." Her voice choked me.

"Do you want to go out? I should go out and find a family that does not lack food or drink. "

"No, Wang Er said it was best to kowtow. I think this is the only way. I just want to invite my aunt. "

"Do you want me to get a relative?"

"When it comes to kissing, it's a shame, but if you want to worship heaven and earth, you have to have someone else's; Disrespect is not good, and the days will be long. "

"Well, I have to find someone. I'm not good at any of them."

"Yes, I want to find Zhao Ersao."

"Yes, she is very suitable. Let's go for a while. " Aunt Tian said, and touched an old blue cloth jacket in the room.

The silent curtain in the middle of the night tightly surrounds the earth and people are sleeping soundly. No one knows that there are two women on the earth, walking in this dark curtain according to the dim light of this little lantern.

Gradually, I arrived, but I couldn't see the lights in Zhao Ersao's room, and I couldn't hear any sound in the room. I know they have fallen asleep.

"Zhao Ersao, are you asleep?" Aunt Tian quietly walked out of the window and said.

"Who is it?" Zhao yisao's husband's accent.

"Is it Aunt Tian?" Zhao yisow then asked.

"Yes, second sister-in-law, open the door and have something to tell you."

Zhao yisow opened the door, and Mrs. Wang came forward to say hello:

"Ersao is already asleep, please open the door again."

"Why, you two, where did the blackheads come from tonight?" Zhao yisow asked in surprise. "Please sit in the room, you two, and I'll light the lamp."

"No, no, I'll tell you when you come!" Aunt Tian pulled her under a willow tree at the door. Whisper their purpose. As a result, Zhao yisow said:

"I'll go, I'll go, wait for me to change my coat."

After a while, the three of them walked slowly on this dark road together, and the dim light of lanterns and candles was even weaker. Wicker swaying against the night wind, firewood rustling, as if a ghost appeared in the darkness, suddenly let three women feel the terrorist attack. Sister-in-law Wang was even more timid and almost screamed with trembling.

When I arrived at Mrs. Wang's house, the candle had gone out and only a little spark was left. Wang Er has made the tea and is waiting. Mrs. Wang brought tea to entertain two guests. Zhao yisow then asked:

"When will you meet the bride?"

"I think it's midnight now." Aunt Tian said.

"You two watch. If it is noon, it will arrive. It's going to hit the third night soon. " Wang Er said.

"Then, burn incense with clean hands." While Zhao Ersao was talking, she suddenly saw Mrs. Wang still wearing mourning clothes. "How are these white shoes made? Do you have black shoes? "

"Yes, I just got up late today." She said, go to the room to change shoes.

"The headrope should also be changed to red. How many flowers should I wear if there are any? " At some point, Aunt Tian went to the room to help her get dressed.

Wang Er has burned all the incense and the yellow watch is ready. The altar is clean. So he ran to the half room outside the east wall to see if his father was asleep, but he was relieved to hear the snoring.

Zhao Ersao had to take out the broken mat on Mrs. Wang's bed and spread it on the ground because there was no red carpet. Wang Er also wore a blue gown and a small satin hat for the New Year, and tied several red lines on the hat. Because there was no red silk thread, several cotton threads were used instead. Sister-in-law Wang also came out in Zhou and Aunt Tian's clothes.

The candlelight reflected the faded old cards of heaven and earth, and the two stood respectfully on the table, suddenly appearing solemn and silent.

"Stand still, men left and women right, and I'll burn the yellow watch." Mrs. Tian said, lighting her watch against the candlelight and returning to Mrs. Wang. "Stop it, heaven and earth are three heads." Zhao Ersao said.

Sister Wang has experienced it once, but she doesn't need anyone's support. Upon hearing this, Zhao Ersao quietly knocked three heads with Wang Er.

"Ancestors have three heads."

Wang Sao and Wang Er quietly kowtowed three times.

"Dad, please come and kowtow."

"Dad is asleep, don't disturb him, he has a bad temper." Wang Er whispered.

"Well, then give him a bunch."

"Give another one to the mother of the underworld."

"Ha, there is ... one for my brother in the underworld."

But Mrs. Wang's tears fell to the ground and her whole body trembled and twitched; Wang Er also stood woodenly, and his face became terrible. The atmosphere of the whole room became gloomy and gloomy. The light of the double candle dimmed, and everyone was caught off guard. Finally, Aunt Tian said:

"If you are lucky, you will be alive in the future!"

Sister-in-law Wang had to hold back her tears and kowtow blankly when she saw Wang Er.

The next morning, Wang Er's father took a small hip flask, bought a fried dough stick and sat in the teahouse.

"Congratulations to your old man, the second child has settled down." Wu San of the cart said.

"I'm so fucking happy, I don't ask these fucking things!" Wang Er's father said angrily. "I used to ask Wang Er to sell the little widow and make a business book. Damn it, he didn't listen, but they were together! "

"All right. Otherwise, where will the second child settle down, this year? " Master Qi, who is carrying a thrush cage, said solemnly.

"Fortunately, the fat water didn't fall into the ground." It seems that Xiaojin, who put the peanut stand, said this sentence from behind. Wang Er's father didn't hear, but bowed his head and drank the wine silently.

1June 6, 927

(Original load 1927 June 10 "Mangyuan" Volume 2 10)