An insightful and funny classic quotation

Around a person who is funny and funny, there will always be a group of people who come to have fun together. It is interesting and inspiring to work with such people. Do you want to be like this? Human? The following is a joke quote that I carefully compiled for you. I hope you like it.

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1) Be a gangster with temperament, be a pervert with taste, and be an illiterate with knowledge!

2) It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for the whole year!

3) Some disappointments are inevitable, but most of them are because you overestimate yourself.

4) A lady is an unevolved Pikachu. A gentleman is a wolf in wool.

5) My wallet is like an onion, it makes me burst into tears every time I open it.

6) Not only do I have a car, I also drive my own bicycle.

7) Human life is like shit. Sometimes you have worked very hard but all that comes out is just a fart.

8) I like children, and I like the process of making children even more!

9) I can give up the choice, but I cannot choose to give up.

10) If anyone uses a honey trap against me, I will take advantage of it. The latest joke quotes

1) An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick.

2) When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

3) Just want to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly hit the wall with grace.

4) I firmly believe that there will be a man who came to this world to be tortured by me.

5) In fact, you and I are the same. Everyone is pretending. The key is to pretend to be the same and round. There is a threshold. Once you are done pretending, step forward and become the legendary temperament person. , it was not installed properly, so it was stuck there. It's Carmen.

6) On the road to awesomeness, I ran all the way!

7) There are always a few pictures of Mao Zedong every month, his face changes from red to green, from Green turned to yellow, then to blue, then to purple, then to green, and finally left me.

8) Red beans don’t grow in the South, but grow on my face, I really think about it!

9) When men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: concave and convex.

10) All problems are ultimately a matter of time, and all troubles are actually asking for trouble.

11) If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend anyone; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot in return; if someone offends me again, I’ll eradicate the root cause.

12) When asked what love is in the world, the Buddha said: trash!

13) Master, wait, I will ask the Buddha to grant marriage!

14) The Phoenix traveled on the Phoenix Platform, broke the promise, and waited all night. From then on, people from all over the country were weeping across the country.

15) There is a dark forest on the right side of the left leg and on the left side of the right leg! My understanding of Cecilia has finally reached the level of Nicholas Tse!

16) There is no such thing in life as Rehearsals are live every day.

17) Go offline on time at midnight, otherwise the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

18) Sometimes the killer of marriage is not affair, but time.

19) Money is not the problem, the problem is lack of money!

20) Is money really that important to you? After talking for more than an hour, not a penny dropped. A collection of one-sentence joke quotations

1) I have never become an excellent college student, relying on my strong character!

2) After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is better Damn it!

3) I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.

4) The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch you grow old alone.

5) Be a person who hovers between cow A and cow C.

6) Solemnly promise not to use urban management first.

7) Shamelessness is also a quality! Missing is a kind of madness!

8) Women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

9) If the son is disobedient, he can be beaten appropriately, otherwise he will not show his majesty. This is the case in Taiwan.

10) If QB is used as a reward in the exam, then the country will become rich and powerful immediately.

11) I am a small stream, always flowing forward, small streams, small streams, never stopping.

12) If you want to live in the world, it’s best to be a bachelor!

13) Everyone who says he doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart.

14) When I reached the top of the mountain, I realized that there was only a few steps between the wrong road and the right road.

15) Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but it is better for love to be buried in peace than to die on the street.

16) Diamonds are forever, but one will ruin you!

17) It’s good to know who you are.

18) After all, I wear glasses, so how can I tease a decent woman?

19) I sleep in class, make noise after class, and fail in exams.

20) Others have already plucked them out before I could get enough of them.

21) Brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

22) Don’t think I look like I’m brainless, but I’m actually unhappy.

23) Some disappointments are inevitable, but most of them are because you overestimate yourself.

24) If you come out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later!

25) Use your B pencil to describe your life.

26) The bombarded head also has a lightning hairstyle.

27) If you don’t flirt with girls, you are treasonous and unethical; if you flirt with girls, you are doing justice for heaven.

28) If you cannot put on the wedding dress for the woman you love, please stop unbuttoning her clothes.

29) Men have gold under their knees, but I have foot hair under my knees.

30) Put away your love, I’m tired of all the fake stuff.

? Classic funny inspirational quotes

1. Instead of planting grass so that people can lie on it, it is better to plant cacti instead!

2. I am a bit small-minded. But there is no shortage; I have a good temper, but not without it!

3. The difference between humans and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!

4. It turns out that as long as people are separated, no matter how familiar they were, they will gradually become alienated.

5. I went to a pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether I wanted to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? I thought about it and said: Let’s go with 8 pieces! I can’t finish 12 pieces!

6. When a man deceives a woman, it is called flirting; when a woman deceives a man, it is called seduction; when men and women deceive each other, it is called love.

7. The government is thinking about how to collect taxes reasonably, the boss is thinking about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I am thinking about how to get more sleep reasonably!

8. Time is for wandering, body is for wandering It is for loving each other, life is for forgetting, and the soul is for singing.

9. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it but few people see it.

10. How far is eternity? Just get away as far as you can!

11. Encountering a writer’s personal signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case. I came across a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

12. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

13. I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

14. Oh my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

15. The important task of the post-80s generation is to create the post-08 generation.

16. Others have a background, but I only have a back view~~.

17. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

18. It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a person who could not repair his own notebooks... everyone knows what happened later. (Coming from the Edison Chen incident, there is no need to elaborate on the reasons)

19. I am not a fortune teller in the public square, and I cannot talk as much as you like to hear.

20. It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

21. Flowers often belong not to the people who appreciate them, but to cow dung.

22. The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

23. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end your singlehood.

24. Sometimes, it’s not that the other person doesn’t care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

25. Even if you believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle.

26. A true good friend does not mean that you have endless topics to talk about when you are together, but when you are together, you will not feel embarrassed even if you don’t talk.

27. There is no perfect partner, only two people with 50 points!

28. Usually the person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the one who truly loves you!

29. There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

30. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.

31. Only women and heroes have trouble, only wives and jobs are hard to find.

32. After meeting me, you will suddenly find out - ah, it turns out that handsome people can be so specific!

33. Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said: "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec!"

34. Ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. After eating the first one, I was shocked, "Is there any more unpalatable dish in the world than this?" After eating the second one, I cried, "There really is."

35. When mice show their power, everyone becomes a sick cat.

36. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao.

37. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

38. You appear on the stage at the age of 0, and you make progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals, and at the age of 30, you work hard to become stronger. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. Playing mahjong when you are 60 years old, and wandering around when you are 70 years old.

80-year-old Lala is doing homely things, and 90-year-old is hanging on the wall!

39. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

40. “Dear, I …I’m pregnant…for three months, but don’t worry, it’s not yours, and you’re not responsible…”

41. We had a little disagreement: She wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to Treat gold like dung.

42. Studying Chinese for 10 years is worse than chatting on QQ for half a year.

43. I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! After thinking for a long time, I decided not to take the risk.

44. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? This was from last week. "

45. I can tolerate fake figures, fake faces, fake breasts, and fake butt!!! But I can’t tolerate money!!!!

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