I have told almost all the jokes. I want to see a new one, preferably longer, but I must laugh.

[1] If you don't plug it in, you will spend money.

One day, a man tried to use a USB flash drive in an Internet cafe, but he couldn't find the socket.

So he shouted: "Why doesn't the boss have a place to insert!"

The beautiful female boss smiled and said, "Only I can plug it in, and no other machine can plug it in."

Say, "Where, in front or behind?"

The female boss said, "Whatever you want, you can insert it before and after."

But this man still failed,

Anxiously said, "I still can't get in!" What should I do? "

The female boss said, "It's always like this at first. It's not easy to insert, but it's easy to insert. Will you try again? "

The man tried to insert it for a while, but it still didn't work.

So I want to change to an Internet cafe.

The female boss suddenly stopped him. "You haven't paid yet!"

That person is stupefied, say: "Don't insert what money?"

Not to be outdone, the female boss said, "You have to pay for an hour and a half."

[2] The oldest joke in the history of China.

One day, Zhu Zhishan told Tang Bohu that there lived a widow in the back hill. She was widowed for three years and regarded chastity as her life. She only kept an eagle. If you can get rid of this woman, I, Zhu Zhishan, will love you. When Tang Bohu thinks about it, he will ask Zhu Zhishan to listen to the news again in a few days.

After two days, it began to rain cats and dogs. In the middle of the night, Tang Bohu climbed the back hill and came to the widow's house. Tang Bohu knocked at the door and asked, "Can I take shelter from the rain?" The widow opened the door. It turned out to be Tang Bohu, a gifted scholar in the south of the Yangtze River, and hurriedly let him in. Tang Bohu entered the door, thanked him again and again, and then asked, "Can you take off your wet clothes? When the widow saw that her clothes were all wet, she quickly put them on the stove to dry. At this moment, Tang Bohu asked again, "Sister-in-law, I'm thirsty. Can you lend me a spoon and give me some water to drink? " The widow hurriedly took a ladle to Tang Bohu.

After drinking the water, Tang Bohu saw that it was getting late and asked the widow, "Sister-in-law, can you let me stay here for the night?" The widow thought about it, and it was raining outside, so she agreed. She took Tang Bohu to the guest room, and Tang Bohu went into the guest room. You're welcome, so she fell asleep. At dawn the next day, Tang Bohu got up early and quietly walked into the yard. Sure enough, he saw an eagle living alone. Tang Bohu grabbed the eagle and pulled out all its hair; Then he went home without saying hello to the widow.

A few days later, Tang Bohu and Zhu Zhishan were playing chess at home when they heard someone knocking at the door. Zhu Zhishan opened the door and it turned out to be the widow. As soon as the widow saw Tang Bohu, she swore in Mandarin: "Tang Bohu, Tang Bohu! You are a scholar in Jiangnan, and you are a talent. Why did you do such a dirty thing? I sympathized with you the other day and kindly opened the door to let you in. You want to take shelter from the rain, I'll let you take shelter from the rain; If you want to take it off, I will let you take it off; You want a spoon, I'll give you a spoon; If you want to spend the night, I'll let you spend the night. Go ahead! Why did you pull out all my eagle hair? 」

Zhu Zhishan was shocked by the audit. ...

[3] son's problem

Son; Dad, why do people have sex?

Dad; Should I dig my nose if my nose itches?

Son; Why do fathers and women have better sex lives than men?

Dad; When picking your nose, do your fingers feel better or your nose feels better?

Son; Then why don't women like being raped?

Dad; Do you like someone to pick your nose when you are walking?

Son; Why don't men like to have sex with condoms?

Dad; Do you like to wear gloves when digging booger?

Son; Why don't women have sex during menstruation?

Dad; Do you still pick your nose when you have a nosebleed?

[4] Super practical is a bit yellow, but it is too classic.

Fate is like a powerful J. If you can't resist it, you must learn to enjoy it.

Work is like round J. If you can't do it, others will.

Life is like masturbation, everything depends on your own hands.

Learning is like whoring. You pay the money and contribute.

Salary is like a holiday. I will be dumbfounded if I don't come in January.

Negotiation is like oral communication. It takes a lot of effort to get what you want.

Giving money is like giving love. When you think about it, you need it immediately.

Bonuses are like pubic hair, which is much longer than lost.

Leaders are like sewers, always bullying the weak and fearing the hard.

Meetings are like chaos. You don't know who should fuck who.

A brother is like a condom, he will help you solve any trouble.

Not responding is like impotence. Obviously cool, but no action! ! !