Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Romantic friends in the west building (7)
Romantic friends in the west building (7)
The matchmaker listened, don't believe it, you read me, Zhang Shengnian:
Under the west wing of the moon, the windward door was half open.
The partition wall is moving, and it is suspected to be a jade man.
(The Romance of the West Chamber)
The matchmaker said let you go. Explain. Zhang Sheng said: She told me to go to the west wing of the moon and then opened the door for me. Let me jump over the wall. The matchmaker laughed: She asked you to jump over the wall and have a private meeting with her. Is it true?/You don't say.
Zhang Sheng said: I am an expert in guessing poems, and my ability to guess poems is comparable to that of the romantic Sui and the prodigal Lu Jia. I did nothing wrong.
The matchmaker can't help sighing. Look, my sister is playing this trick with me, too. It was too careful not to tell me about the fish and goose that sent the letter. I don't care about other people's relatives, and I don't know when Meng Guang took the case of Hongliang. Other people's sweet words are warm in three winters, and my bad words hurt people in June. I look at you from now on, but I can't see how you will get along with your romantic friends.
It was originally written to let you wait until the west wing of the moon and skip the word "female" on the east wall, "fuck". The mystery of dating is hidden in the original poem, and a trap is set in the simple post. On the surface, I am indifferent to others. In fact, I made an appointment with someone about sex and asked me to take time out of my busy schedule to deliver audio books.
Paper jade board, the word musk orchid, walking through the spring sweat? Tears are still red and wet, and the paper is full of spring worries. Zhang Sheng, from now on, don't worry, strive for your bachelor's degree in Yutang, and you won't get Yingying Beauty.
Zhang sheng frowned and said, but as a scholar, how can I skip that garden?
Matchmaker: The partition wall is low, and the windward door is half tied. Now it's time to test your method of stealing incense. How can you jump the dragon gate if you are afraid of the height of the wall? If you don't think it is dense, you can't climb the laurel. Don't refuse. Don't go, don't look through her autumn waters, don't twist the slices like spring mountains.
The matchmaker is now trying to make a match, which shows that the matchmaker actually likes Zhang Sheng very much, but her position does not allow her to dream. If it is now, it is estimated that by the time Yingying reacts, it will be a thing of the past. It's too convenient for her best friend to rob her husband. Hehehe.
Zhang Sheng said anxiously to the matchmaker, "I have been to the garden twice, but it was useless. This time, who knows what the situation is.
Matchmaker comfort: This time is different. Although you have been there twice, it is not as useful as this time. Hu Kan, your partition is empty for poetry. This must be the time when you can do something good.
Hearing this, Zhang Sheng's confidence increased greatly, and everything was decided by himself. Who would have thought that miss Zhang and I would have such a good thing? I am an expert at guessing poems, comparable to the romantic Sui and the prodigal Lu Jia. When I get there, I must behave well and make her fall in love with me. (Laughter)
Why is it not dark today? God, you gave everything to people. Why fight for this day? Get down!
After reading it, I was afraid of dusk, but I didn't feel that the door was closed. If you want to invite a begonia flower, why should the sun take root and sprout?
Look at the sky, Zhang Sheng. It's only noon. Wait a minute. After a while, I saw Wan Li cloudless and exhausted. Well, I'd better go back to my house and have a rest, and don't be tired into a silver wax spear. Then I looked at the sky, ah, the sun is setting in the west and there is no moon yet. Wait a little longer. For no reason, three feet black, radiant. Andrew's Houyi bow, shoot this round!
Thanks to heaven and earth, the sun finally set, ah, louder. So, I stretched out my hand and dragged it to the gate of the garden, holding weeping willows in my hand and jumping over the wall with Sue. Any scholar who doesn't study can jump at Longmen, which is much more tempting than Longmen. Why is it difficult to climb over the wall? Ha ha.
A matchmaker here thought that Yingying secretly made an appointment with Zhang Sheng in her letter without telling me. Alas, I didn't see through her and let her burn incense. Tonight's dress is particularly beautiful. Then how could she keep it from me?
The matchmaker's name is Yingying: Sister, let's burn incense.
Yingying sings a poem; The flower shadows overlap and are fragrant, and the courtyard is deep and light.
Then sing: the night is cold and steep, and the embroidered curtain of the golden hook is not hung. The threshold is dim, and the corner of the building gathers the sunset. For Ling Hua's sake, let's make up for tonight upstairs.
Not close to the hustle and bustle, sleeping in the green pond; Natural and elegant, yellow willow with crow. The golden lotus damages the peony bud, and the Hosta takes the tea stand. The night was cool and the moss was slippery, and the dew soaked Ling Bo's socks.
It seems that Yingying's classmates can't wait for dark. They walked quietly, one foot deep and one foot shallow, cutting off all the waste, regardless of stepping on the peony bud. Hosta is caught in a tea rack, so I don't know how to bow my head. It doesn't matter if the socks are wet. Hehehe.
From that day on, I miss the moonlight, as if it were a summer. Seeing that the willows are about to set, I can't wait to let the mother of the sun drive the sun down the mountain.
Matchmaker: Dressed up and ready to have sex with Wu Xia. I can't lock my heart just for the beauty of that partner.
I think, the young lady is ashamed of flowers when she closes the moon on weekdays, and she cherishes herself deeply. Today, it seems that this is really the case. Unexpectedly, today's romantic nature is hard to contain, just do it.
I thought it was a crow swaying in the wind, but it turned out to be a black veil on the edge of a jade hat. One lurks at the edge of the curved sill, and the other stands at the foot of the lake and mountain. How to calm down the cold and warm?
Hehe, Kiki, here comes the rooster.
Zhang Sheng: Miss, you finally came.
She hugged the matchmaker.
Matchmaker: beast!
Zhang Sheng: It's me!
Matchmaker: Look carefully! What if you hug your wife?
Zhang Sheng: Sorry, I was dazzled and panicked. I don't know who it is.
Matchmaker: You are so hungry that your eyes are blinded.
This classmate Zhang is really interesting. When I see a girl, I don't want anything gentle. I didn't even say hello. I'll hug her when I get up. Learning is really not stupid. Panic like this, if the matchmaker didn't say a word, don't-ahem.
Zhang Sheng: Where is that young lady?
Matchmaker: At the foot of the lake. Let me ask you, are you really here?
Zhang Sheng: If you can't make mistakes, you will fall to the ground soon. I don't understand. What do you mean by landing? Was it on the spot? )
Matchmaker: Then don't come in. Come with me. You jump over this wall and help you two get married tonight. I'm telling you, you do as I say.
Look at the pale cloud cage, like red paper to protect silver wax; Under the curtain of willow flowers, the embroidered bed is covered with green flowers. The night is far away, the quiet room is quiet and the flowers are low. She is a girl's family, so you must be gentle, tactful and modest.
She is a delicate and flawless jade with a pink face and a bunch of crows on her temples. You're scared, you don't want to be happy. Cherish it, and you will never have to sleep in bed alone and do that shameful thing alone. From now on, you can serve Miss Yingying carefully with your clever understanding.
According to the matchmaker, Zhang Sheng jumped over the wall and hugged Yingying. Yingying was surprised. Who is it? Zhang Sheng replied, It's me. Yingying said angrily, Zhang Sheng, what kind of person are you? I'm burning incense here, and you come here for no reason. What's the point if madam knows?
Zhang listened: Ah, changed his mind!
Zhang sheng has nothing to say, one is quietly Mimi, the other is talking. Zhang Sheng stopped and forgot that he was Liu Jia and Emperor Yangdi. Bend your hands and play dumb.
The matchmaker was in a hurry: where did Zhang Sheng's mouth go? Stretch out your arms and forget it. Are you ashamed to sue? No one is good at talking nonsense, but he has no wit in his heart. Why don't you mention her promise of "staying in the west wing of the moon" to Mei Niang is blaming a stupid papaya.
Yingying shouted, matchmaker, there is a thief!
Matchmaker: Who is it?
Zhang Sheng: It's me.
Matchmaker: Zhang Sheng, what are you doing here?
Yingying: Take it to your wife.
Matchmaker: Going to his wife's place may ruin his moral reputation. My sister and I punished him. Zhang Sheng, come and kneel down!
Zhang Sheng knelt down.
Matchmaker: Since reading Confucius' book, it's the gift of the Duke of Zhou. What are you doing here late at night? I thought you were as deep as a sea of literature, but you have a strong sexual desire. Do you know the crime?
Zhang Sheng: Not guilty.
Matchmaker: Who told you to go into people's gardens late at night? This behavior is either rape or theft. You steal laurel trees, but you want to be a flower thief; I don't want to jump the dragon gate, but I am willing to fall! Sister, for the sake of the matchmaker, give him a break.
Yingying: If you don't look at the matchmaker's face, I'll drag you to your wife's house and see what you think of the elders in Jiangdong. Get up. Although Mr. Wang is grateful to the living, he will bite the hand that feeds him. Since we are brother and sister, why do we have this heart? How can your husband be safe if your wife finds out? Don't do this again. If so, there will be no rest after taking the first step. Say and leave.
Zhang sheng is depressed. Why did you invite me to say so much?
The matchmaker secretly laughed at Zhang Sheng, and she was ashamed to death. Isn't it "the prodigal son Lu Jia"?
Zhang Sheng thought that he had taken the name of "expert" for nothing, and he was dead set and would never be wishful thinking again.
Matchmaker sings: Don't mention that spring is worth a thousand dollars in a flash, and prepare to be a widow for ten years. The expert who guesses poetry fans guessed the windward door half open wrong, missed the partition wall moving, and guessed miserably when the moon goes down to the west wing. You'll wipe Ho Chi Minh's face, and she'll tease Zhang Chang herself. You flatter yourself. This time, I wiped off my unfinished business, repented of stealing jade and stealing incense, and deleted Cui Yi's words.
Zhang Sheng said to the matchmaker, "How about I write another letter and ask you to take it to express my love?" ?
Matchmaker: obscene words should have stopped a long time ago, so just post it from now on. I haven't figured out how to fall in love yet. Don't provoke from now on, you should learn from Korea. Say that finish and left.
Zhang Sheng thought to himself, if your young lady sends someone away, I dare not commit any more mischief. What should I do if I get sick? Last night, I received a letter from your lady, and I was forced to come here. I'm angry again. I'm dying. Let's go back to the study and sulk alone.
Guizi fell idle, and Sophora japonica was sick. Ruthless.
I changed my mind in front of the old lady, and the marriage became a brother and sister, which made Zhang Gaoxing happy. This time Yingying changed her mind again, and Zhang Sheng had another great joy. Going back and forth makes Zhang Sheng more uncomfortable.
I remember a novel saying that the feelings between men and women are most afraid of rubbing back and forth. This seems to make sense. There are two clear hearts. You touch her back and forth. As a result, the simple becomes flexible, the short becomes long, and the straightforward becomes tortuous, and it is already a mess when it is discovered. Just cut it, and the result will be messy. When we finally knew what was going on, we realized that "the heart is like a double screen with a Qian Qian knot in it".
Zhang Sheng's heart was rubbed back and forth, and naturally "there was a Qian Qian knot". How can he not be sick? Of course, Yingying was also rubbed by Zhang Sheng. Although she changed her mind, she must have a lot of ideas going back and forth.
Why did Yingying change her mind? One possibility is that she didn't convince herself at the critical moment, after all, what she did was a very outrageous thing; It is also possible that Zhang Sheng's way is wrong. The hungry wolf jumped at the food. Yingying was startled by Zhang Sheng's sudden move and changed her mind temporarily. Anyway, Yingying must be fascinated by Zhang Sheng, and recklessness has an effect that can only be understood but not expressed. Ha ha.
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