A joke with no more than 100 words.

1. There is a sports meeting in the zoo. Ducks and crabs arrive together. The referee said you two were going to cut cloth with stones. The duck said, fuck you, I can't win once. It was cloth when it came out. As soon as he came out, he was scissors.

You sat behind a boy in class that day. You drew a pig and stuck it on its back. He found it soon, tore it off and stared at you. You are puzzled and ask him, "How do you know there is a pig behind you?"

The doctor asked a lazy man how he broke his bone. He said, "I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook them ... A fucking fool thought I was electrocuted when he passed by, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two."

4. The reporter interviewed Panda: Do you have any wishes in your life? Panda said: two ideals! First, if you have time, go to see Chinese medicine and treat my dark circles. Second, you just want to take a color photo.

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

6. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

7. Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on a bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. Others asked how they got together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

8. A psycho is lying in bed singing and singing. He turned over and went on singing. The doctor asked him: just sing, why do you want to turn? Psycho said: fool, of course, after singing side A, sing side B!

9. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

10, the prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's fucking horrible. .....

165438+ ! !

12, two loving corn kernels decided to get married, but there was no bride at the wedding. The groom asked a popcorn that he had always brought with him. The popcorn said shyly, Bah, everyone is wearing a wedding dress!

13, the mother mouse suspected that her husband was having an affair, and she followed her husband to the grass. Then a hedgehog came out. The mother mouse grabbed the hedgehog: you damn fool, you said you didn't have an affair. Who are you trying to seduce by rubbing so much mousse?

14, Party A, Party B and Party C went out together, and Party A caught a cold ... Everyone slept in a bed at night, and Party A slept in the middle.

In the middle of the night … A took a big sniffle, and B and C were covered with A crystals.

Let us know next time ...

Half an hour later,

Attention ... B and C get into the quilt and make sure there is no contact with the outside world. ...

A: poof ...........................................................................................................................................................................

Really didn't miss. ...

15, valentine's day, my husband and I discussed: "what gift should I give you?" You are losing weight now, it is not appropriate to go out for a meal, and it is even more inappropriate to send a large piece of chocolate! " I said, "Then send flowers?" He scratched his head: "well, I'll send you roses." Do you want nine? 19 flowers? Still 39? " I thought about it and decided to give him a difficult problem: "We are an old couple and don't need roses. Can you be a little creative this year and send me a flower that can surprise me? " My husband looked at me wistfully. ...

That night, I dressed up early and waited for him at home. The door opened and my husband stood there with a smile in his eyes and a box in his hand. That's-I like to eat ... Twist!

16. When a young man and a woman were dating in the park, the girl wanted to fart very much. She had an idea: Woman: Have you ever heard the cuckoo call? M: I haven't heard of it. Woman: I'll teach you, boo (fart sound)-gu (accent). I have learned it several times, but I have finished playing what I should play. Woman: Did you hear me clearly? Man: I didn't hear you clearly because of the loud fart.