Classic humorous quotes that make people laugh

Excellent articles about things that make people laugh

1. Only by suffering a lot can you drive a Land Rover. If you are young and do not work hard, you can only drive Xiali.

2. If you don’t want to answer my call, just say so. Don’t always ask China Mobile to say sorry to me for you!

3. The spring scenery in the garden can’t be contained, but a pig’s head Come out?

4. I have no ability to pick up girls, but it’s a pity that I am just a girl.

5. The greatest happiness of a thin person is that he or she will not be afraid of gaining weight even if he eats too much; the greatest happiness of a fat person is that he will still be fat even if he eats too much.

6. When we were young, everyone was the flower of the motherland. It’s just that some people become weird when they grow up.

7. Only when you are drunk do you know who you love most; only when you are sick do you know who loves you the most.

8. Don’t worry, there are no friends in the road ahead, anyone can kill you.

9. People are like iron, and food is like steel. Don’t pretend to be depressed all day long.

10. A person’s longest love history is probably narcissism?

11. You will never know how many times a person who is angry with you has tolerated you. ?

12. At that time, "my friend" and "my classmate" were collectively called the three insurmountable gods.

13. The so-called sleeping until you wake up naturally is actually sleeping until you are woken up by peeing.

14. When I was a child, I often struggled with: When I grow up, should I go to Tsinghua University or Peking University? When I grow up, I realize: I really think too much.

15. The so-called sleeper can be summarized in eight words: spring sleepiness, summer fatigue, autumn nap, and hibernation.

16. You are the landlord of my land.

17. I paid money to come to class. I have something to do and I can’t attend class. Why don’t you let me take leave? The current school just can’t position itself correctly. Do you think we are employees? We are customers!

18. The high school teacher said, you don’t need to understand this, it will be taught in college. The university teacher said, I won’t teach you this anymore, the high school teacher has already taught it. This, this, this!

19. What is the difference between classes: elementary school fees are paid by mouth, junior high school fees are pen, high school fees are brain fees, and college classes are fee flow?

20. Don’t discharge your anger at me , because I have caller ID here. Popular articles that make people laugh

1. I once thought I was a flower on the cliff, but later I realized that I was just a dregs in the sea of ??people.

2. The world is so beautiful, but the money is too little!

3. If you come, I believe you will not leave. If you leave, I will treat you as if you have never been here. This is how we should treat fate with love.

4. If you save enough four and a half yuan, and I will save four and a half yuan, we can go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get married.

5. I have spent my entire youth reviewing my youth, and I have to spend my entire life doubting life.

6. All problems are ultimately a matter of time, and all troubles are actually asking for trouble.

7. I can’t give you a lifetime, but I can give you once! I can’t give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

8. Many times you are just a certain person The object of practice is not the object of love.

9. My dad expressed his opinion on my gaining weight: If I didn’t have Han Hong’s life, I would still have Han Hong’s disease.

10. Choose for yourself 45? Look up to others, don’t blame others 135? Look down at you.

11. I won’t go to hell, whoever loves me will go to hell

12. Always young, always pretending to be young, never ignorant of good and evil, always filled with tears.

13. You never know when someone will say goodbye to you inadvertently and then never see you again.

14. Asking what love is in the world, you can directly teach people to love each other physically.

15. In the workplace, you should be like Conan, with a domineering attitude that lets others die wherever you go.

16. The show is gone without a trace, and the scalp is even more outstanding!

17. I never hold grudges, and I usually avenge them on the spot.

18. I touch you desperately, and you touch me desperately.

19. The Story of Stone tells us: Those who truly love will eventually break up, and those who mix and match will eventually be reunited.

20. Many things are somewhere between "not being aggrieved" and "being pretentious". The latest article of things that make people laugh

1. I am willing to donate all my teachers to fight against Japan. Learning is a trivial matter, but patriotism is important.

2. I hate two kinds of people the most! One is that there are The second is racial discrimination, the second is black, and the third is illiterate!

3. Those with straight bangs are cute girls, those with slanted bangs are royal sisters, those with middle parting are queens, and those with short hair are all brothers.

4. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon. Mencius said: Confucius is right.

5. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a loli face, but do you dare to have a man’s heart?

6. Since the reform and opening up, my weight has gone up.

7. Wukong, bring me the purple gold alms bowl and chopsticks. Wujing, go to the kitchen to see if Bajie is cooked?

8. The night gave me a pair of black But I used it to roll my eyes -

9. I said I was a filter, and everything that came into my mouth was bleached! Do you understand?

10. Feng Xiaoxiao The river is cold, and the strong man beats the dog. Once it is gone, it will never return.

11. Some fates end the moment they begin, just like premature ejaculation

12. The teacher always likes to say during class: Students, please look at me

13. I have to admire my female friends for wearing short shorts on such a cold day.

14. The farthest distance in the world is not life and death, but that I am invisible and you are online, but you are online and I am invisible.

15. I can’t find it everywhere, and I still sigh at the small waist I used to have. 16. Everyone has a dream, but the way of dreaming is different.

17. Some boys always think that girls are violent, but in fact it is because they are in trouble.

18. I can endure hardships. Think about it, I can only do the first four words.

19. My wallet is like an onion, it calls me every time I open it. Tears streaming down my face.

20. I am not afraid of drinking dichlorvos, but I am afraid of opening the lid and drinking it, and then getting another bottle.