All the funny jokes Teacher Emma said

1: Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: Please let me go, don’t roast me to eat.

The man said: Okay, then let me ask you a few questions.

Squid was very happy and said: You take the test, you take the test!

Then the man grilled the squid...

2: I once suffered from mental depression, and no one showed up in the corridor for a long time. There are small milk crates at the entrances of the third to fifth floors and the eighth floor, shaped like a green house, with large iron nails riveted to the wall through their own holes. Crack syndrome, but now we have recovered.

3: An international student was taking a driver's license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. He was not sure and asked the examiner:

"turn left?"

Answer : "right."

So... it hung up.

4: One day, Mung Bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor. He bled a lot and turned into a red bean. He continued to bleed and turned into a soybean. The wound became scarred and finally turned into a black bean.

5: Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying~ he flew up...

6: There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked...

7: Three Woman dies in a car accident and goes to heaven. When they got there, the angel St. Peter said: "In heaven, we have only one rule here - never step on a duck." After confirming that the three women understood, they entered heaven. Paradise was full of ducks, so many that it was almost impossible not to step on them, and although they tried their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally stepped on one. At this time, the angel Saint Peter immediately came to her with an extremely ugly man that the woman had never seen in her life, and told her: The punishment for stepping on a duck is to be chained to this ugly man forever. .

The next day, another woman accidentally stepped on a duck. At this time, Saint Peter came to her with another extremely disgusting man, just like the previous woman. Saint Peter chained the second woman to the ugly man he had brought with him.

The third one has discovered this cruel result, and she does not want to be tied to an ugly and disgusting man forever. So she was very, very careful about her steps, and she managed to survive several months without stepping on any ducks. But one day, Saint Peter came to her and brought with him a super handsome man she had never seen before. This man is not only tall and strong but also has beautiful long eyelashes. Saint Peter chained them together and left without saying a word to the woman. The woman asked the man she was chained with: "I'm wondering why I can be chained with you forever?" The man said, "I don't know what your situation is, but I stepped on a Duck. "

8: A pair of corns fell in love...

So they decided to get married...

On the wedding day...

A pair of corns found each other. There is no more corn...

This corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our corn?

Popcorn: My dear, she is wearing a wedding dress. Well...

9: In the music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven

Xiao Ming asked Xiao Hua: "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

10 :Q: Two people fell into a trap. The dead ones are called dead people, and the living ones are called?

A: Call for help!

11: Question: cloth and paper What are you afraid of?

Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.

Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper).

12: One day, my mother-in-law was riding in a car...

Halfway through the ride, my mother-in-law didn’t know the road...

My mother-in-law hit the driver with a stick and said: Where is this place? ?

Driver: This is mine...

13: An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg; an egg went to swim in the Songhua River, and it turned into a tea egg. There was a preserved egg; an egg ran to Shandong and turned into a Lu (stewed) egg; an egg was homeless and turned into a pheasant egg; an egg accidentally fell on the road and fell on the ground. An egg ran to the ground and turned into a missile; an egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick and turned into a bad guy; an egg turned into a bad guy; Marry a man and turn into a bastard; an egg ran into a river and swam and turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg ran into flowers and turned into a bastard; an egg rode a horse and held an egg. A knife, it turns out he is Daoma Dan; an egg is female, and it is ugly, so it turns into a dinosaur egg; an egg is male, and his wife committed adultery with other eggs outside, and he turned into a bastard ; An egg...

14: The host asked: Can cats climb trees? Eagle's quick answer: Yes! Moderator: Give an example! The eagle was in tears: That year, when I was asleep, the cat climbed up the tree...and then there were owls...

15: Two dung beetles discussed the welfare lottery. A said: I want to win the jackpot. Buy all the toilets within a 50-mile radius and eat enough every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will take care of a living person and eat fresh food every day!

16: Why the chicken cross the street? (Why did the chicken cross the road?)

Answer to get another side. (Go to the other side.)

17: A: What is that person doing?

B: He is shaking.

A: Why is he trembling?

B: He is cold.

A: Oh, it turns out that you won’t be cold if you tremble.

A:...

18: There was a Mr. Banana on a date with his girlfriend. They were walking on the street. The weather was very hot. Mr. Banana took off his clothes. After that, his My girlfriend fell down...

19: A sausage was locked in the refrigerator

I felt very cold, and then I looked at the other sausage next to me, which gave me some comfort. , said: "Look at you frozen like this, your whole body is covered with ice!" As a result, the one said: "I'm sorry, I'm a popsicle."

20: Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball. After playing for a long time, he said: I am so tired. I feel like my whole body has softened...

21: This diver’s movements were very difficult. He made a turn. A three-week body flip followed by a front somersault, a three-and-a-half-week body flip followed by a back somersault for one month.

22: MM got lost looking for college. Met a gentle professor.

MM: Excuse me, how can I get to the university?

Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to college.

23: Not long after I arrived, I seemed strange among the flow of people coming in and out of the community. The buildings are separated by four palm trees. The two palm trees on the inside are equally tall, and the two palm trees on the outside may have just been planted and are not growing. I took the elevator with the section chief. Not long after I arrived at the bureau, I looked strange in the flow of people coming in and out of the community. The buildings are separated by four palm trees. The two palm trees on the inside are equally tall, and the two palm trees on the outside may have just been planted and have not grown enough. Then they farted and said to the section chief: You farted! The section chief said: I didn't let him go... The section chief was dismissed soon after, and not long after he came to the bureau, I seemed strange to the flow of people coming in and out of the community. The buildings are separated by four palm trees.

The two palm trees on the inside are equally tall, and the two palm trees on the outside may have just been planted and are not growing. He said at the meeting: You can't afford such a big deal, so what use are you?

24: Miss: It’s hard to do business now!

Boss: Why?

Miss: "Bird flu..."

25: A woman encountered a robber and trembled: "I'm from XX school. I just graduated. I haven't found a job. I really have no money." ..."

After hearing this, the robber cried bitterly, "Sister, I am also from XX school. Please take your student ID card. The one who robbed you in front of me is still from XX school. Don't worry, I will never rob you. "

26: I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but she said I can't do it without taking a shower. She promised to wash "partially" in the cold weather. After washing, my girlfriend was extremely shy and said: "Honey, you are so lazy, use it. Where can I wash..." I fainted after hearing this. I just brushed my teeth~~~ (a very taboo joke)

27: A blind beggar was begging on the street wearing sunglasses.

A drunk man came over and felt sorry for him, so he threw a hundred yuan to him.

After walking for a while, the drunk man turned around and happened to see the blind man facing the sun to distinguish the authenticity of the hundred-dollar bill.

The drunk man came over and took back the money and said: "You don't want to live anymore, how dare you lie to me!"

The blind beggar looked aggrieved and said: "Brother, I'm so sorry, I I'm here to look at it for a friend. He is blind and went to the toilet. In fact, I am mute. "

"Oh, that's it." So the drunk man threw down the money and shook again. Walked away...

28: Bird flu - it's all caused by "heaven's shit"!!!

There are two types of people who are extremely likely to get bird flu - —1. "Animal"; 2. A person who is "worse than an animal"...

29: A: Hey, how did you learn to smoke?

B: I learned it when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit~

C: Do you know why Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit?

AB: I don’t know!

C: Because Adam doesn’t have a cigarette! (Hint: homophones for the same word)

30: A man has just been abandoned by his girlfriend. He happened to see his ex-girlfriend flirting with her new love on the street. The more he watched, the more angry he became, and he wanted to humiliate them. So he politely came forward to say hello, and said to his new girlfriend with disdain: "You don't mind the old stuff I've used!" Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend laughed and said: "Every inch on the outside is old, but everything on the inside is brand new!"

31: When we broke up, she gave me a kiss, and the feeling was as real as the People's Daily...

< p>32: I just saw something like a news scroll bar at the top of my senior sister’s computer screen, and the text on it passed very quickly.

I’m curious: Is this a lyric?

Sister: Yes!

Sister: Why does it go by so fast? Didn't even see it clearly!

Sister: Jay Chou’s! !

33: Wife: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Husband: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Shit: I’m so unlucky! Lying there, I was stepped on by both of you...

34: College entrance examination chemistry question: A and B can be converted into each other, B can be converted into C in boiling water, and C can be oxidized in the air. D and D smell like rotten eggs. What are A, B, C, and D?

My answer: A is chicken, B is raw egg, C is cooked egg, and D is of course rotten egg. !

35: Which is the worst, rubber, tiger skin or lion skin?

Answer: Eraser.

Because of the eraser (bad eraser).

36: Question: What is the thing with three heads and one foot?

Answer: A monster with three heads and one foot!

37: When the ant went to the desert, why didn’t he leave his footprints on the sand, but only a line?

Answer: Because it rides a bicycle!

The ant came home from the desert. He did not notify anyone, but his family knew that he was back! Why!

Answer: Saw his bicycle parked downstairs...

38: One day a female drug addict was caught at the police station, and the police saw a tattoo on her hand. Just ask her why you tattooed your boyfriend's name on your hand. Is his name Xiaoliang... ah... is it? Tell me, tell me... does he take drugs... Tell me quickly

< p>I saw the female drug addict raising her head with angry eyes

Said to the police

This is hate...

40: One day, Xiao Meihe Her boyfriend went out for a drive.

The car was almost out of gas. There happened to be a gas station nearby. As he drove past, a sudden gust of wind blew her boyfriend's hat away.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:

"I'm going to pick up the hat, you help me."

As soon as her boyfriend ran away not far away, he heard Xiaomei shouted behind him:

"Come on! Come on!"

41: An orangutan passed through the woods and accidentally collected gibbon feces.

The kind-hearted orangutan cleaned up the ape's excrement.

Soon after they fell in love, others asked how you got together?

The orangutan replied: "It's ape excrement ( Fate).!"

42:: There was a fat man,

jumped from a tall building,

The result became...

Damn fat man.

43: There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day when it was hit by a car while crossing the road, it shouted: "Quack!" From then on, it turned into a small cucumber...

< p>44: There is a penguin whose home is so far away from the polar bear’s home that it would take 20 years to reach it by walking. One day, Penguin was very bored at home and was going to play with the polar bear. Then he went out, but when he was halfway down the road, he found that he had forgotten to lock the door. It had been 10 years since he left, but the door was still locked. It had to be locked, so the penguin walked home again to lock the door. After locking the door, the penguin set off again to find the polar bear. It took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's house... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said: "Polar bear, polar bear, the penguin is here to play with you!" After the polar bear opened the door, guess what? What did he say? "Let's go to your house to play~"

45: The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Ah, really Sorry, not so much." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly. The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "I'm sorry, there are still none." "That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly. .

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" The boss said happily: "Yes, yes, today we have a hundred buns!!" "The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I will buy two!"

46: Xiao Ming said: "Akang, let me ask you, "A shark ate a mung bean, and it turned out that it "What has it become?" Akang said: "I don't know, what is the answer?" Xiao Ming said: "Hey! Hey! The answer is "mung bean paste (mung bean shark)", you are very stupid!"

47: The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution? Classmate’s answer: Make the lunch box blue.

48: There was a person who had a bad gastrointestinal condition. One day, he came to the gastroenterology hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor: "I eat whatever I want. I eat watermelon." Watermelon, eat cucumbers and pull cucumbers!" The doctor thought for a while and said to him: "I think you can only eat shit!"

49: On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl: " Why doesn't the plane hit the stars when flying so high?" The little girl replied: "I know, because the stars will 'flicker'!"

50: There is a polar bear and a penguin together. Play, the penguin pulled out his hair one by one. After pulling out, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!" After hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out his hair one by one and turned around. The head said to the penguin: "It's really cold!"

+50 popular cold jokes

51: Q: What do African cannibal chiefs eat?

A: People!

Q: One day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be vegetarian. So what did he eat?

A: Eat a vegetable!

52: There were two sausages in the refrigerator. After a long time,

One sausage shook, wow! It’s so cold~!

The other sausage said in surprise, Huh? How can you talk if you are a sausage?

53: One day,

there was a buck running faster and faster,

at the end,

it became High speed buck.

54: One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruits.

She announced: "Children, after picking the fruits, we will wash them together. After washing, we can eat them together." . "

All the children ran to pick fruits.

When the gathering time came, all the children gathered.

Teacher: "Xiaohua, what did you pick?"

Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked apples."

Teacher :"What about you, Xiaomei?"

Xiaomei: "I am washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes."

Teacher: "The children are great! Then Amin What about you? "

A Ming: "I was washing my cloth shoes because I stepped on poop."

55: The teacher asked Xiao Ming a question in class, but Xiao Ming stood up but said nothing. throat.

Teacher: Xiao Ming?

Teacher: Xiao Ming

Teacher: Xiao Ming! What's the matter with you? Do you know the answer? At least give it a squeak!

Xiao Ming: squeak.

56: An elephant asked the camel: 'How come your breasts are on your back?' '

The camel said: 'Stay away, I won't talk to something with a penis on my face!

57: How to make the drink bigger?

Recite the Great Compassion Mantra

58: Xiao Ming: How many times today?

Xiaohua: It’s minus 3 degrees!

Xiao Ming: No wonder it’s so cold.

59: A little boy came home from school and peeped out of the window to see a woman lying on the bed, rubbing her breasts wildly and shouting, "I want a man, I want a man!"

The next day the little boy walked out of the window and found a man lying on the woman.

So the little boy went home and lay on the bed, rubbing his chest wildly and shouting, "I want a bicycle, I want a bicycle." !

60: Once upon a time there was a bird.

He would pass by a cornfield every day.

But unfortunately,

there was One day there was a fire in the corn field,

All the corn turned into popcorn!!!

After the bird flew over,

I thought: The snow is so cold...

61: There is a polar bear who needs to wear sunglasses to see because the snow is so dazzling.

But he can’t find sunglasses. , so I crawled around on the ground with my eyes closed, crawling and crawling until my hands and feet were dirty before I found the sunglasses. After putting on my sunglasses and looking in the mirror, I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda.

62: The nature teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death?

No one answered.

The teacher asked again: Does no one know?

At this time, a classmate stood up and said: That is because the mind is naturally cool when it is calm.

63: Xiao Ming lost a leg in a car accident,

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident,

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident Xiao Ming lost his other leg.

Xiao Ming lost another leg in a car accident.

In fact, Xiao Ming is a dog.

64: One day, A, B, and C went out to play together and walked on the road for a long time.

Later A said, it was so boring and I really wanted to play B.

Then C glanced at A and dragged B to the alley to beat him.

65: Three little rabbits poop

The first one is long.

The second one is spherical.

The third one is actually triangular.

Asked, it replied: I squeezed it with my hands.

66: When will Taiwan want to be reunified?

When buying instant noodles

67: One day Xiaoqiang asked his father: "Dad, am I a stupid kid?"

Dad said: "Silly Child, how could you be such a stupid boy? "

68: When Xiao Ming came home, the dog next door suddenly ran out and bit him. In anger, he picked up the bamboo and wanted to beat it.

When the dog owner saw Xiao Ming beating his dog, he was unhappy and said: "It depends on the owner when beating a dog, haven't you heard of it?"

At this time Xiao Ming said: OK! I will spank your dog while watching you.

69: Chongchong: Xiaohua, did you use my pencil?

Xiaohua: No, I’m useless.

Chongchong: Are you really useless?

Xiaohua: I’m so useless!

Chongchong: Alas, you are the 17th person to admit that you are useless

70: How did the ants die after falling from the Himalayas?

p>

Answer: Starved to death. Because it is too light, it takes a long time to float down...

80: Why is the puppy getting smaller and smaller?

Answer: Because it goes further and further.

81: Once upon a time, there was a horse! It fell into the sea while running.

So, it turned into a "seahorse"!

Another horse friend of this horse went to find the horse that fell into the sea, but ended up falling into the river. Later, he became a "hippopotamus".

The third horse is a white horse. In order to find two missing friends, it came to the city with chaotic traffic.

It was run over by several cars in succession, causing several black stripes to appear on its body.

As a result, it turned into a "zebra"!

In order to find the companions of the first three, the fourth horse came to a factory one day and was transformed into an "iron horse".

But later, those horses still couldn't escape the fate of being eaten, and they were all turned into "sand horses". The ravages reached all the horses, and no one was spared, creating a horseless world...

Then, a group of people couldn't help but say after seeing this joke: "It's so cold."

Finally, in order to commemorate this joke, someone compiled it into a lesson. We called it "Marseille Lesson"!

82: Xiao Ming owed 200,000 yuan to the underground bank. Xiao Ming begged him for a few more days of grace.

The banker said: It must be paid back tomorrow, otherwise..., chop it up 2 fingers;

If it’s the day after tomorrow... I’m cutting 4 fingers; if it’s the third day...

Xiao Ming: I don’t have to pay it back

It’s from the bank Person: NO, then you will become Tinker Bell.

83: A man met God one day

God suddenly became kind and planned to give the man a wish

God asked: Do you have any wish?< /p>

The man thought for a while and said: I heard that cats have 9 lives, so please give me 9 lives!

God said: Your wish has come true!< /p>

One day, the man was bored,

I wanted to just die, since I have 9 lives anyway

He just lay on the railroad tracks.

p>

As a result, a train passed by,

The man was still dead.

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 carriages.

84: A guy went to the hospital for a check-up and did many tests.

The doctor said: There is good news and bad news! After reading your test results, I discovered that you have potential homosexual tendencies! And it’s hard to cure!

This guy said: Oh my God! What about the good news?

The doctor said shyly: I found you quite cute

85: A hunter went hunting with a hunting dog, and he wandered in the woods for a whole day without finding any prey.

It was dark, but he was unwilling to keep riding in the woods.

The horse suddenly said: 'You don't even let me rest, you want to exhaust me to death! ? '

The hunter was startled when he heard it. He immediately rolled off his horse, took the hunting dog and ran away. When he ran to a big tree to catch his breath, the dog patted his chest and said to him: 'Scared' It kills me, horses can actually talk! '

So the hunter was frightened to death on the spot

86: Who among the wolf, tiger and lion will be eliminated when playing the game? Wolf

Because: Momotaro (eliminated) Wolf)

87: One day A picked up a mirror and looked in the mirror and said: The people here look familiar

B said: Really? Let me take a look (continue) Passing the mirror), me! You don’t recognize me anymore?

88: Tomato A and Tomato B go shopping.

B asked A: Where are we going?

A does not answer.

B asked again: Where are we going?

A still doesn’t answer.

B asked again.

Tomato A turned to Tomato B and said: Aren’t we from tomatoes? Why do we talk?

89: Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat

One day

The white cat fell into the water

The black cat rescued it

The white cat said something to the black cat

Q: What is this sentence?

"Meow"

90: A: "Do you know what I was doing in the Internet cafe last night?"

B: "What were I doing;"

p>

A: "Let's go online;"

B: "..."

91: Two flies went to eat.

The younger one asked the older one: Brother, why do we eat shit every day?

The older one said: Don’t say such disgusting things while eating! !

92: In a Thatched Boat

Lu Su: "Can you really borrow arrows like this? Mr. Kong Ming?"

Zhuge Liang: "Believe me."

Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried..."

Zhuge Liang: "That's not necessary."

Lu Su: "But, don't you think the ship Is it getting hotter?"

Zhuge Liang: "It's a bit awkward to say so...Is there something wrong?"

Lu Su: "Yeah, I'm worried about the enemy's shooting. It's a rocket..."

Zhuge Liang: "Hey! Zijing￣￣Can you swim￣￣￣I can't￣￣￣"

93: A monkey eats peanuts You have to stuff it in before taking it out to eat.

The administrator explained this: Someone once fed it peaches, but

As a result, the peach core could not be pulled out, and the monkey was frightened. Now it must be measured before eating.

94: The hospital has set up 100 channels to prevent patients from escaping, but two mentally ill patients still want to escape from the hospital. Yu Yehei worked hard

to climb over the wall. At the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"No." So the two of them continued to turn outwards.

At the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"No." So the two continued to turn outwards,

p>

Go to the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Tired"

"Okay, let's turn over the wall Go back."

95: Xiao Ming: By a certain stream, there were four boys, Dabao, Daxiong, Dazhi, and Dawei, wearing low clothes. No one appeared in the corridor for a long time. There are small milk crates at the intersections on the third to fifth floors and the eighth floor. They are shaped like a green house. They are riveted to the wall with large iron nails through their own holes. They are just playing in the water.

Suddenly someone is playing in the stream. While electrocuting the fish, these four boys were all electrocuted! Guess an electrical appliance.

Akang: Hmm... I don’t know~

Xiao Ming: The answer is "television" (electric four chickens)! hey-hey!

96: Xiaoluo: Dad, why do we have humps?

Camel Dad: Because there is no water in the desert, only humps can store water!

Xiao Luo: Dad, why do we have long hair?

Camel Dad: Because the wind and sand are strong in the desert, we must rely on it to block the wind and sand so that we can see!

Little Luo: Dad, why do we have thick hooves?

Camel Dad: Because the desert is full of sand, so we can stand firm!

Xiao Luo: Dad, last question, what are we doing at the zoo?

97: The hen was hatching an egg, and an egg came out of its butt

Hen: "What are you doing?"

Egg: " Your farts smell so bad..."

98: There is a person named "Du Ziteng"

The teacher asked during roll call

"Where is Du Ziteng?"

The classmate said: "He has a stomachache."

99: My girlfriend invited me to watch a movie at her house. After arriving at her house,

she wrote the word 'movie' on the wall with a pen,

and the two of us sat on the toilet and watched.

100: One early morning, a certain officer, who was known for his sternness, asked a soldier during morning training: "Are you cold?"

The soldier replied: "Not cold!"

The officer was annoyed: "Then why are you shaking?"

15 of the funniest jokes in the world

1. Five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, so I called a hundred yuan Qian:

"Hey! Your son is here. If you don't want us to rip it off, then you can exchange it for him with yourself!"

The hundred-yuan Qian thought for a moment and said:

"Tear it up. If you tear it up, you won't even have 5 yuan!"

2. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp.

Magic Lamp: "I can only grant you one wish, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry."

Man: "I want a wife..."

The magic lamp immediately turned out to be a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "You are almost starving to death and you are still greedy for beauty! How sad!" After that, she disappeared.

Person: "...Cake."

3. The earthworm family was very bored today, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces and went to play badminton.

< p>Earthworm's mother thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong.

Earthworm's father thought about it and cut himself into minced meat.

The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!"

The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football."

4. The panda man wants to have sex with the panda girl, but the panda girl resists vigorously and refuses to obey.

After the failure, the panda man said angrily: "We are all going extinct!"

5. The tortoise and the hare race...the hare quickly ran to the front ...

The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you...

p>

Then... the snail came up...

After a while... the turtle saw another ant... .. He said to him: Come up too...

So the ants also came up.

After the ant came up... he saw the snail above... and said to him: Hello

Do you know what the snail said?

The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

6. A man and a woman were having dinner

The girl kept Ask that boy: Do you love me?

The boy glanced at the girl and continued to eat dinner

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me?

The boy finally said: Love

The girl asked again: How do you prove it?

Suddenly the boy took out thirty yuan from his pocket.

Ask the girl: Do you have ten yuan?

The girl gave ten yuan to the boy...

The boy put forty yuan on the table

After a while... ...

The girl asked the boy angrily: Do you want to prove that you love me?

The boy said: I have proven it! Forty is right in front of you!

7. Visiting the snack street one day

I found a shop selling egg tarts

Every kind looks very delicious, I want to buy one to try

I asked the clerk: Is this sold individually?

Shop clerk: No, this is Japanese.

8. One day, a fire broke out in the house.

The parents escaped, and only one son was left inside.

My mother was very nervous and shouted outside the house:

"Son...what are you doing...it's already on fire and you still can't come out..." ."

The son replied: "I am wearing socks..."

The mother said again, "Why should I wear socks if there is a fire..."

p>

Five minutes later, the son still hasn’t come out...

The mother shouted nervously again, "Son, what are you doing? Come out quickly~ It’s all on fire, please wait. Inside..."

The son said, "I am taking off my socks..."

9. A man went fishing by the river

p>

First he pierced a leaf, and no fish took the bait for a long time, so he changed it to a piece of bread, and again no fish took the bait for a long time~

He had no choice but to change it to earthworms, and again no fish took the bait for a long time. ~~

In anger, he took out 100rmb, threw it into the water and cursed:

"*—Percent sign # What do you want to eat in percent sign! Buy it yourself!!! ! "

An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg; an egg ran to swim in the Songhua River, and it turned into a preserved egg; an egg ran to Shandong, and it turned into a pineapple egg. It became a Lu (stewed) egg; an egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; an egg accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground and turned into a missile; an egg ran into someone's yard An egg went to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick and turned into a bad guy; an egg got married and turned into a bastard; An egg swam in the river and turned into a nuclear bomb; an egg ran into the flowers and turned into a Hua Dan; an egg rode a horse and held a knife and turned out to be Dao Ma Dan; an egg was female and turned into a Hua Dan; He was ugly and turned into a dinosaur egg; one egg was male, but his wife committed adultery with other eggs outside, and he turned into a bastard; one egg...