Recommend a joke to me!

……

I played a chess game with your father yesterday.

B: What's the situation?

Finally, I have a taxi and your father has an elephant.

B: That's the time for a draw!

A: I think so too, but your father won't do it!

B: What shall we do?

A: Finally, your father said that we should not let elephants and squires cross the river, and I agreed. Your father is like me, and I am like a scholar. Your father: Your father is like me, and I am like your father. Your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me, your father is like me. ...

Finally, your father doesn't look like me. I am your father.

The five most annoying jokes in Japan (1)

Four surgeons sit together and talk about who they like to operate on.

The first doctor said, "I like operating on librarians best." When you open their bodies, inside

Everything is arranged alphabetically. "

The second doctor said, "I like operating on accountants best." When you open their bodies, everything is under pressure.

Number arrangement. "

The third doctor said, "I like operating on electricians best." When you find their bodies, everything is useless.

Color code. "

The fourth doctor said, "I like operating on Japanese best." The other three doctors looked at each other and said

close

Wondering what one of them asked. The fourth doctor said, because they have no heart and no spine, and their butts and heads are interchangeable.

Japan's five most annoying jokes (2)

A man called a Japanese businessman and said, "I'm looking for Mr. Taro." The operator said, "Sorry, he went last week.

The world no longer exists. "The next day, the man called again and wanted to talk to Kazutaro. This time, the operator got a little bored and said

I've been telling you that he died last week. Why are you calling? "The man said," because of me.

I just want to hear it. "

Japan's five most annoying jokes (3)

A Japanese is eating in a restaurant in China. When the waiter brought plates of lobster, the Japanese asked, excuse me.

What do children do with leftover shrimp shells? ""Of course, "said the waiter." Don't! Don't! Don't! "The Japanese repeatedly shook his head.

The boss said, "In Japan, leftover shrimp shells are sent to the factory, made into shrimp cakes, and then sold to you in China.

"After a while, the waiter brought another plate of fruit. The Japanese pointed to one of the lemons and asked, "What about you?

Dispose of the remaining lemon peel? ""Of course, "said the waiter." Don't! Don't! Don't! "Said the Japanese shook his head.

"In Japan, the leftover lemon peel is sent to the factory to make fruit treasures, and then sold to you in China."

When checking out, the Japanese asked the waiter with a smile while chewing gum, "What should I do with the leftovers?"

Gum? ""Of course I threw up, "said the waiter." Don't! Don't! Don't! "The Japanese proudly shook his head.

"In Japan, chewed gum is sent to factories, made into condoms, and then sold to you in China.

The waiter asked impatiently, "Do you know how to deal with used condoms in China?" "Of course.

I dropped it. "Japanese humanity. The waiter shook his head and said, "No! Don't! Don't! In China, we throw away used condoms.

Go into the factory, make chewing gum and sell it to you in Japan. "

Japan's five most annoying jokes (4)

A taxi is driving on the way to Chicago airport, and a Japanese tourist is sitting on it. At this time, one

A taxi passed by and the Japanese shouted, "Look, Toyota! Made in Japan! How fast! " soon

Another taxi passed by. "Look, Nissan! It's made in Japan! It's too early! " Another taxi passed.

The past "hey! It's Mitsubishi made in Japan! Very fast! " Taxi drivers are 100% American. Look at that.

Seeing that so many Japanese cars have surpassed their American cars, plus the arrogant language of that Japanese, I can't help but get annoyed.

When another taxi overtook it, the taxi pulled into the airport parking lot. "It's Honda! Made in Japan! quick

Great! There's no cure! "The taxi driver stopped and pointed angrily at the meter and said," 1500 dollars.

. ""so close to 1500 dollars? ！” "meter! Made in Japan! Very fast! There's no cure! "

Japan's five most annoying jokes (5)

There is an American, a German, a Japanese and a China on a plane. The plane flew halfway.

Suddenly out of breath, the captain announced that he would jump off the plane alone to reduce his weight, so the American played his personal role.

Masculinity went to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live the United States and other countries! ! Then I jumped! plane

Continue to fly ... at this moment, the captain announced: the weight is still too heavy, and one person will jump! So the Germans

Just stand up, walk to the front of the plane door and shout: Long live the German Empire! Jumped down, too Aircraft inheritance

Keep flying ... at this moment, the captain announced: no, it's still heavy, you must jump alone! China people look.

Gave the Japanese a look, stood up and walked to the door of the plane. The Japanese came quickly and held China's hand tightly:

Good brother, I won't forget you! The people of China shouted: Long live the people and country of China! ! Take a step.

The Japanese were kicked down! ! ......

There are nine people in my family, and everyone is very kind. I have a kind mother, a healthy and cheerful father, a sincere and upright father, a brother who went to high school, a second brother who dropped out of school, a sister who is considering dropping out of school or having an abortion, and a nephew who still doesn't know his sex. In fact, there is grandma, but grandma ran away, grandpa went to jail, and neither of them was there.

I think grandma lives longer, because it is better for old people to always exercise more than to sit all the time. Grandpa, don't you think?

Mom usually likes talking on the phone, because working at home can run pornographic telephone lines.

Dad A likes to plant flowers and grass on holidays, but all the crops recently harvested were seized and destroyed by the police. Is it wrong to like all kinds of poppies and marijuana? He is not very happy these days, and Dad B will comfort Dad A: "The timing is not good, it is better to come to work in the company."

Dad b likes to cook supper for everyone. He works late every day, just to be a Midnight Cowboy.

Eldest brother often plays computer and manages the list of classes that receive protection fees. He is the first in the South District, and I am proud of my eldest brother. Second brother wants to work in Dad B's company, and Dad B thinks he should come back when he is older. Sister's interest is to collect fire boxes, and so far more than 990 boxes have been collected. She said that her goal was to burn down the house one day.

I admire the police uncle the most. He ambushes near my house every day, which makes us feel safe. In addition, he comes to my house every day and asks me, "Is Dad back?" I am very touched that the police uncle took the initiative to care about his family. The so-called police and the people are United, and we must respect the police uncle.

The atmosphere in my house is harmonious and clean, and I can't find the shell casings. Dad specially told me the maintenance methods of his pistol, submachine gun and Grenade after each use, which made me realize that you must take good care of it after use, or you will regret it when you use it. Dad told me a lot about being a man and doing things. With such a happy family, I will study hard and live up to my family's love and care.

"Son, the territory in the southern district will be all yours in the future!" The encouragement from my family will always warm my heart.

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming how much 1+ 1 equals. Xiao Ming said he didn't know, so the teacher told him to go back and ask his parents. When Xiao Ming came home, he asked his mother what 1+ 1 was. Her mother was playing mahjong and said, "80 thousand!" " . Xiao Ming asked his father again. Dad was reading Newton's works and said, "Newton!" " Xiao Ming asked his younger brother again, who was playing a game and said, "Cool! Xiao Ming asked his sister again, who was calling his boyfriend and said, "I'll wait for you downstairs. "The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming 1+ 1= what, and Xiao Ming said," Eighty thousand! The teacher asked, "Who told you that?" "Xiao Ming said," Newton! " The teacher slapped him, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool! "The teacher told him to go out, and he said," I'll wait for you downstairs. " The teacher was dizzy with anger on the spot.

One day, the teacher saw Mary chewing gum in her mouth and her feet reaching into the aisle. She said to Mary, "spit out the gum and put your feet in it!" " "

A psychopath escaped from a mental hospital with a pistol in his hand. He asked a passerby, 1+ 1=? Passers-by thought for a long time and said, "2." Psycho killed him. He blew his gun and said, "You know too much."

One day, A Shuang died, and his lover cried and said, "Cool! Cool! " A man asked, "What's so cool?" "That's great! Too awesome. "

Xiao Wang was originally in the personnel department on the tenth floor, and later transferred to the political department on the ninth floor. One day, Xiao Wang's friend called the personnel department to find Xiao Wang. Xiao Wang's colleague said, "Xiao Wang is no longer alive." Xiao Wang's friend asked in surprise, "When did this happen?" Xiao Wang's colleague said, "The nearest. You can find him below. "

1, go home at the weekend, get addicted to cigarettes after dinner, and plan to go for a walk on the pretext. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me why I wanted to go. I said, "Go have a cigarette!" As a result, my father found a bag of white sand from me and gave me a good K.

After coming out from my mother, I went to find my wife. After seeing my wife, I habitually called out, "Mom!"

3. I found that my bike was flat when I went to work in the morning and wanted my mother to push it outside to refuel. As a result, I said, "Push out my tires." Mom was confused, so I smiled and quickly corrected it. As a result, I said, "Fill my car with gas!" "

When I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"

5, the last toilet was convenient, and there was no paper. He said to his wife, "Bring me the paper-wiping donkey!"

6. A girl is lovelorn. I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, and there are many men with three legs!" "

7. Two people were bickering, and suddenly a person next to them said, "You are really full and have nothing to do!"

8. Colleagues argued with others and opened their mouths in a hurry: "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.

9. In computer class, a classmate shouted when there was something wrong with his machine. "Boss, change the plane!"

10, reading a post while eating and reading a classic to my wife made her laugh to death, so she said to me, "Read it after dinner, or your brain will get indigestion!"

1 1, once asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were. He wanted to say 400 degrees, but when he said it, it became 400 watts, and his stomach hurt!

12, a leader of the Education Bureau checks the exercises between classes. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting "retreat!"

13. Many teachers were listening to a physical education student's internship class. He's too nervous. When he finally wanted to disband the team, his mind was blank, and he abruptly uttered a sentence: "Attention, attention! Flash! "

14, a group of students went to their home in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons to put in the kitchen. I asked a classmate to take a knife to cut it. I haven't been back for a long time. While wondering, he came over with a cut melon in his hand and said in a panic, I cut the pumpkin. Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even harder. It turned out that he had a melon in his hand!

15 There was a teacher surnamed Jiang in high school, who looked like (Tang Priest on a Chinese Odyssey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question ..."

16, a colleague, one day I had a flat tire while driving and asked where there was an inflatable one. Colleague said: "The streets are full of abortions!"

17, go to McDonald's to buy sweet barrels, and finally it's my turn. I can't wait to say, "Give me two rollers!" " "I didn't expect the waiter to say to me loudly;" Two rollers, four dollars! "

18, I met a long-awaited girl who came out of the bathhouse and wanted to get close. For a long time, I said, "Take a shower. Are there many men in it?"

19, once I went to dinner, I said to my boss when I checked out, "Husband! Check out! " The proprietress was nearby at that time. ...

20. A teacher played mahjong all night and saw that the blackboard had not been wiped. He was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "

2 1, once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?"

22. I just bought a house and called a buddy excitedly:' I bought a house, only a dime (I forgot to say "blank") is about to be renovated. "The buddy said," Is there only one toilet? So where do you live? "

23. The teacher asked me to do my homework. If I can't do it, I'll copy from others. Then I went to the office to hand in my homework and saw the teacher say, "I copied it!" "

24. I took a colleague home and couldn't find the key. I exclaimed, "I can't find the key to open the door!"

25. Go to McDonald's and say to the waiter, "A box of colonel chicken!" (Colonel chicken nuggets are KFC's specialty)

Xiaoming went out and saw his uncle buying food, so he said, "Laocai, where did you buy food for your uncle?"? Xiaoming's uncle said, "The child can't even speak. "