What was Italy doing during World War II?

in the history of modern war, if there is no Italy, it will only be full of blood and killing-and the existence of Italy adds some comedy to modern war.

Many historical researchers believe that it was Italy's delay in World War II that accelerated the demise of the fascist regime headed by Hitler.

Therefore, it is safe to say: Thank God, Italy joined the Axis during World War II, otherwise the Nazi Iron Cross might really spread all over the world.

In fact, Italy had a good time at the beginning of the war. Because of the appeasement policy, Italy once "successfully" occupied Ethiopia, a poor and backward North African country.

But after Britain, America and France got involved in the war, Italy was really Italy.

During World War II, Italy was a fascist alliance with Germany and Japan, so-called "axis country". Germany held an ambivalent attitude towards Italy's participation in the war, which reflected a joke given by German military enthusiasts-

If Italy remained neutral, it would be equivalent to increasing the strength of our army by 1 divisions; If Italy opposes fascism, it is equivalent to increasing the strength of our army by 2 divisions; But if Italy wants to join the Axis, our army must spend 5 divisions to protect it! ! (Italy, what can I say about you ...)

There are more historical facts to prove it. In history, Italy's stay in World War II has reached an amazing position, leaving many jokes for later historians to study:

First, about eating

1*, is there any way to eat delicious food on the battlefield? Under this belief, while other countries were busy developing new weapons, Italy invented the freeze-dried food preservation law because it wanted to eat delicious military food ... which shocked the United Nations.

2* On the battlefield 1 kilometers away from the supply station, the whole army cooked spaghetti to eat, and then the whole army was easily captured by the enemy ...

3 * The fighting would stop at lunch time, and PASTA would hide behind the front line in despair after eating ...

4 * Italy's military uniform was dressed as a gentleman, and it bought 3 million tons of black tea from all over the world. On the package of a famous Italian red wine, there is a slogan "If you are drunk, you will not be afraid of fighting". Among the materials captured by the enemy, red wine is more than ammunition.

5* Captives captured by Italy can eat luxury packages every day ... A British pilot was captured by Italy and put into a prisoner concentration camp. That night, he got his own dinner in prison. It was from the appetizer to macaroni and meat, and even the last fruit and red wine were well-equipped, luxurious and unnatural.

"Is this the so-called last supper ..."

The next morning, a senior general appeared in front of him: "Yesterday, we made a little mistake and provided you as a general with dinner for ordinary soldiers. This is definitely not intentional abuse of prisoners. Can you forgive the wrong guard for my sake? "

6* Italy in a prisoner camp escaped from prison. Because there was no PASTA to eat, they went to another prisoner camp with PASTA. Later, the former prisoner camp assured them that PASTA would be provided, so they went back ...

7 * The German army received Italy's rescue request in the desert and sent a squadron to rescue. When they met with Italy, they found that the other side was boiling macaroni with precious water ...

Second, about armament:

1* After declaring war with the allied countries, they began to think about the battle plan ...

2 * Italy once couldn't find a warehouse suitable for placing explosives, so they thought that the church would not be attacked by the enemy and piled more than 1 tons of explosives into the Sannazzaro church in the middle of the city. As a result, the church steeple was struck by lightning ... the city was instantly blown up by the big bang ...

3 * It was discovered that there was no fuel management department after investigating the reasons for the lack of fuel at the airport ...

4 * A fighter plane used the advanced design of a closed cabin in its design, but it resumed its open design because some pilots complained that it could not feel the smell of the wind. Therefore, until the end of World War II, Italy didn't develop high-speed fighters ...

5 * Gun designers invented machine guns to keep the battlefield clean ... (Italy waved the white flag: I love environmental protection! ! )

6* grenades are of poor quality. I don't know if they will explode or when they are thrown out, but they may explode just when we let our guard down ...

7 * planes don't have radios.

8* In order to create a diving force, the Italian Navy commissioned a precision machinery development factory to make waterproof watches. As a result, the finished product has not even left room for the pointer to rotate, and it is ridiculously heavy. The only function of this invention is to provide other manufacturers with inspiration for waterproof watches.

Third, about combat effectiveness:

1* Because the national consciousness is too weak, destroyers and submarines with few people are more active than warships.

2* Cannons and machine guns can't beat indigenous people with bows and arrows, and only Italy can defeat wooden boats with steel boats.

3* Against the Italian army, the morale of the enemy will rise; Italy's responsible front will be broken; A general who has defeated Italy twice in a row will be laughed at.

4* We were about to release poison gas when we lost to Ethiopia ... It is also a well-known story that France was attacked before surrendering ...

5 * When American troops landed in Italy and confronted Italy, they felt that Italians had no will to fight, so they deliberately weakened their attack. When a German reconnaissance plane flew over the battlefield for investigation, the Italian army commander thought that his face was too embarrassing and ordered him to pretend to be fighting, and the American army also fought back without enthusiasm. This battle was discovered by the German reconnaissance plane and said with emotion: "Awesome! The Italians stopped the American offensive! " (God)

Then German reinforcements arrived and started a real fierce battle.

6* At night in Italy, there was a saying that "if we fall asleep, the other side must be asleep, so we won't be attacked", and finally it was attacked by the British army.

7* losing two battles in a row is the code word for "how boring the war is! Let's go back and pick up girls".

8* The submarine named after the great scientist "Galileo" failed in a confrontation with an armed British fishing boat and was captured by the other side. At the beginning, "Galileo" launched an attack on the other side, but it was attacked by a fishing boat that was not even equipped with a lighting sight (note: it was a fishing boat! ) hit continuously and finally surrendered because the captain was injured.

9 * On June 3th, 194, the Italian Governor in Libya, Marshal Barbo, was shot down by Italy's own anti-aircraft artillery over Tobruk. In order to cover up this tragedy, the Italians announced that the marshal was killed in an air battle with the British.

shooting one's marshal by mistake with anti-aircraft guns made him the highest-ranking soldier in World War II who was injured by mistake ...

In October * 1943, the Allies landed in Italy, and there was a battlefield where the Allies fought fiercely all morning without any casualties. The only loss is that his plane threw the airborne troops into the sea (using the sandbar as a beach).

11* Italy attacked Greece in World War II, but Italian soldiers unanimously said that we could not attack because there were Finnish troops in Greece (Finnish soldiers beat the Soviets very badly in the winter war in Sufen). Mussolini then asked Finland to withdraw its troops from Greece. After investigation in Finland, it was found that only three Finnish soldiers and three officers were volunteers in Greece, so he replied to Mussolini that there were only six volunteers in the so-called army. Mussolini was very angry and sent a telegram to Finland: I mean these people!

12* During the landing battle in Sarawak, the Allies encountered no resistance at the beachhead. The army correspondent reported that the strongest resistance encountered by the Allies at the beachhead came from a jaguar that escaped from the local zoo because of bombing and bit two American soldiers.

13* During the siege of Topology Luke, Rommel patrolled the position early in the morning and found that the defense area of an elite Italian musket click battalion was empty, with only a chicken feather.

14* When Italy was beaten by Greece, the French put up a signpost on the border between Italy and France: Greeks, stop, this is already France.

15* Rommel was shelled by the allied forces when he visited the Italian trench on the North African front. Italians immediately fell on the ground, praying "Oh, Oh, Maria!" "

Rommel said this to Italian commanders: "Tell them to stop praying and start fighting back. That's all I want to say. "

Fourth, about surrender:

1* In a battle in North Africa, a small number of British tanks charged at Italian anti-tank gun positions. At first, Italy fired back, but after two or three minutes, it suddenly stopped and waved a white flag to surrender ... Afterwards, the British asked why, and the Italians confidently replied: the ammunition box was not opened with a crowbar ..

2.

the 3 * 5,-strong Italian army met a roadblock set by a company of British troops and disarmed on the spot.

4* In Yugoslavia, a German officer captured by guerrillas was very surprised and asked, "Where did you get the anti-tank guns?" When the guerrillas told him that they had taken it from their ally, the Italians, he was filled with emotion: "Alas! These lovely Italians.

5* When Churchill called to ask how many Italians auchinleck, the British commander, had captured, auchinleck proudly said, "I can't count them, about five acres of officers and 2 acres of soldiers."

6* On the battlefield in North Africa, the British army led 25 people to fight with 1, Italian troops in World War I, and captured more than 8, people.

7* In Sicily, the US military dropped "cannonball leaflets". The leaflets said that these leaflets could be used as "surrender certificates", and they could take other doors to get food and get safety in the rear of the allied forces.

The next morning, a group of Italians came running, each with a leaflet in his hand. Some people even asked nervously, "Is this a voucher for surrender?" After receiving a positive reply, all of them happily handed over their weapons. On the third day and the fourth day ... at first, there were dozens of people, and later, hundreds of people came running with leaflets. Once, after two Italian soldiers surrendered with leaflets, they told the US military that more than 6 people in their company wanted to surrender but were afraid to come because they didn't have a "surrender certificate", so the US military immediately sent someone with a "surrender certificate" to bring all these people. On another occasion, an Italian soldier made a special trip to ask for another leaflet so that his younger brother could come and surrender.

8* In North Africa, the British army accepted the surrender of a group of Italian soldiers with guns. Because the British army was too busy collecting the spoils to manage the Italian prisoners, they roared at them: "Don't make noise! Go over there! " And then continue to collect trophies everywhere. In the case of no choice, the prisoners had to walk around with guns on their heads in order to find the British army. Also, because there are too many prisoners of war, it is too late for the British army to build a prison camp. Just ask the quartermaster to give raw materials to the Italian prisoners of war and let them build a prison camp and lock themselves up.

9* At the end of World War II, prisoners from Germany, Italy and Japan were held in concentration camps in Austria. The Germans organized themselves to try to dig a hole to escape from the shelter, the Japanese organized themselves to commit suicide by caesarean section, and the Italians stayed very cooperative even when the gate of the concentration camp was not closed, and occasionally went out to harass lovely girls.

Fifth, about the Allies:

1 * When the Allies attacked Italy in 1943, they fought against the Germans ...

2 * only joined the Axis, and the Axis cried and apologized to them.

3* The worst thing should be Germany ... or in North Africa, Rommel found a British prison camp where Italian prisoners of war were held, and he came to the rescue in the spirit of gay friendship. As a result, the Italians followed the British as soon as the gunfire rang ...

4 * An Italian reorganization division was surrounded by 287 Americans, and Germany dispatched three tanks to rescue and defeated the aggressive Americans. However, with the perfect cooperation of Italian children's shoes, 274 Americans escaped ... < P > 5 * The German definition of an ideal war is: using German weapons, the Soviet Union provides winter equipment, the United Kingdom provides summer equipment, the United States is responsible for food, France provides entertainment, Finns cover the flank, and Italians are the enemies face to face.

6* There are many allies who have not found that Italy has entered the war.

7* Italy's greatest contribution to Germany was probably after it took refuge in the Allies-Italy's equipment was looted by Germany, which led to the peak of German military production that year.

8* Western proverb: "Italians on our side"-a famous saying in World War II. During World War II, Italy was one of the Axis countries, but it always lost the battle, dragging its feet. On the battlefield in North Africa, Italian troops failed to achieve enough. Later, the US military just participated in the war in North Africa, and it also suffered many defeats. At that time, the British jokingly called the US military "the Italians on our side". Later, this proverb spread in the west.

9* In Liberation, Mussolini said to Hitler: "You don't know Italians, they don't like war." Hitler once said, "Only the leaders in Italy are the ancient Romans." It has also been said that "Italy is a country supported by 1% serious citizens".

1* In order to finance foreign trade, Italy will sell advanced devices that are not equipped with its own air force to foreign countries or even enemy countries ...

Sixth: regarding the campaign

1* Let me talk about Eight-Nation Alliance related to China first. Italy was also involved, but to what extent were Italian children's shoes miserable? He had planned to follow the example of Germany and send troops to China to seize the sphere of influence. As a result, two modern steel warships were "shocked" by the weak navy (wooden boat) rebuilt after the Sino-Japanese War of 1894 ... The army only sent 8 people-most of them were not combat troops. I prefer to believe that I am joining in the fun rather than invading.

2*1922-1935, Ethiopia (North Africa battlefield)

In fact, Africa really didn't seem to be the main battlefield in the whole World War II, but Italian students offered to attack North Africa (incidentally, Italian children's shoes attacked North Africa in the 19th century and suffered a disastrous defeat. At that time, German Chancellor Bismarck once laughed at the Italians for "coming to the African continent with a mouthful of cavities and an excellent appetite"). Italy invested in tanks and aircraft troops, but it has been defeated since the war. In the face of the chasing Egyptian army, poison gas played the role of savior. Since then, the poisonous gas has spread all over Ethiopia with the footsteps of the Italian army. This is one of the few successful things that Italy has done. Incidentally, at that time, Ethiopia's army was only equipped with small guns, old muskets, and even troops using only long guns.

3 * In March, 1937, Spain

four Italian divisions marching from Guldalajara to Madrid were attacked by the enemy. Due to a large number of surrenders in Italy, they finally lost from Guldalajara.

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