Jokes about eyes

Eye Examination Notes

Ophthalmologist:

Doctor: Which side does the gap in this circle point to?

Xiao Ming: Where is the gap?

Doctor: Pay attention to the eye chart here.

Xiao Ming: Where is the eye chart?

Thief

Thief A: "I must get a pair of glasses right away!"

Thief B: "Why?"

Thief A: "Last night I sneaked into a house and when I was opening the safe, a loud sound suddenly came out. It turned out that what I opened was not the safe... but... the stereo!"

A couple admires works of art in a museum. The short-sighted wife stood in front of a painting and said to her husband:

Look, this is the ugliest portrait I have ever seen in my life! The husband quickly pulled his wife over and whispered: Come here, this is not a portrait, this is a mirror!

The benefits of myopia

A male colleague was talking to a beautiful female colleague, and they got closer and closer. The female colleague said unhappily:

" Why are you talking so close?"

Male colleague:

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, because I am very short-sighted."

Open the door carefully< /p>

Xiaohua: "How did the lump on your head come from?"

Xiaojian: "When I walked into a building, I saw a notice at the door. Because I am short-sighted, so Just go in and take a look."

Xiaohua: "What does the notice say?"

Xiaojian: "The door~~opens outward!"

In the middle of the water

Scott, who is short-sighted, was roaming by the river when he saw a sign erected in the middle of the river. Unfortunately, he couldn't see the words in the middle clearly.

Curious, he had to take off his shoes and wade into the river to find out. He saw a sign saying: "Please do not feed crocodiles."

Be careful in the car

A: "B, why are your lips so badly burned?"

B: "Because I am short-sighted and don't wear glasses."

A: "This is what it looks like. Will it be burned like this? No way."

B: "I mistook the car cigarette lighter for lipstick again."

I can't see things that are too far away," The patient said to the ophthalmologist.

"Please come with me." The doctor took the patient outside, pointed at the sun in the sky, and asked, "What do you think that is?" ”

“The sun. "The patient replied.

"Then how far do you want to see! "The doctor said angrily.