Escape a joke

1. News of the day: Today, a nun was walking in the park and was unfortunately raped by gangsters.

News the next day: Today, hundreds of nuns are walking in the park.

2. A hunter unfortunately got lost while looking for prey. It was already dark, and he was walking cold and hungry. Suddenly, he saw a small room with a light on and hurried to knock at the door. It was a woman who opened the door. After listening to the hunter's request, she said, "There is only one family here, just me, my mother and my daughter. You can spend the night here, but you must come with us. Just five times in XX, but let's do the math. "

The hunter agreed. In the evening, first of all, you and the woman's daughter XX, a little girl, are inexperienced and shy, and the number of 12345 will soon be finished. Speaking of women, after all, women need it, so count slowly ~ 1-2-3-4-5. When I went to see the woman's mother, I heard the old woman say, "1-2-3-4-; 2 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ; 3 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ; The 4-2-3-4- One more time ... "

Hunter: ...

It is said that a PL tour guide is showing a group of tourists around. Suddenly, a male tourist let out a cry and put his hand under his crotch, screaming with pain. Everyone thinks he may have hit somewhere. At this time, the tour guide is very worried. She tried to give first aid to tourists. She put her hand into the man's trousers and massaged it slowly. ...

After a while, the tour guide asked softly, "Are you better?"

The man said, "it's really cool there ... but my hand still hurts!" " "

4. Think of a title for porn movies:

"Kiss My Baby" starring Emil Wakin Chau.

Zhao Chuan starred in Give Me If You Love Me.

Xu Jingchun starred in The Whip is Longer.

Love Shooting Back and forth starring You Hongming.

Jacky Cheung starred: "I waited until the birds were released."

People who fuck me and people who fuck me starring Qiu Haizheng.

A mother said to the little girl, "If someone molests you, touch the top and say don't touch the bottom and say stop." The next day, the little girl was sexually harassed and came back crying and said to her mother, "Did you refuse that person?"

The little girl said innocently, "That man touched me up and down, and I said,' Don't … stop!'" " "

6. After the passion, I got up and took out a cigarette from my trouser pocket, but I couldn't find a lighter, so I asked the girl if there was a light around me.

"There seems to be matches in the first drawer." The girl replied.

I opened the drawer of the bedside table and saw a matchbox. There is a picture of a strange man under the matchbox. I felt very strange, so I asked curiously, "Is he your husband?"

"Of course not, fool!" The girl snuggled up to me.

"Is that your boyfriend?" I then asked.

"No, it isn't!" The girl replied, gently sucking my ear.

"So, who could it be?" I asked doubtfully.

"That was me before the operation ..."

One day, Mary, a 7.4-year-old girl, said happily to her mother, "Mom, mom, I know!" " "

"Know what?"

"Why is dad so big when he has a belly?"

"oh? Why? "

"Because today I saw Julie, the maid, desperately blowing the pipe under Dad's stomach!"

"……"

8. A group of nuns live in a monastery on a high mountain. Usually, they have to go down the mountain by bike every day to buy materials for people's livelihood ... Suddenly one day ... the old nun couldn't stand it ... and called everyone to give a lecture and said, "If you yell when riding down the mountain ... I'll put the bicycle cushion back!" "

9. Junior one students are having a physiological health class ... When they saw the male sex organs, a girl from a single-parent family smiled: "I know, this is a milk straw ..." When they saw the photos of female sex organs, a boy from a single-parent family covered his mouth and sighed: "I didn't make a mistake today ..." For 5 seconds, I knew about perverts. 10 second. ...........

Shadow Pig has just been abandoned by his girlfriend and happened to meet his ex-girlfriend flirting with his new lover in the street. The more he watched it, the angrier he became, trying to humiliate them. So I made a polite greeting and said contemptuously to my girlfriend's new love, "You don't dislike my second-hand goods!" " Just when he was proud of his creativity, his ex-girlfriend smiled and said, "One inch outside is old, and the inside is brand new!" "

10. Roll call after class. If you don't come, your final grade will be deducted 50 points! When I saw a brother, I jumped over inexplicably, and he shouted, "Teacher, you are beside the point!" " "

The old teacher over sixty lowered his head and said, "No ~"

1 1. A nun went to the priest to confess: "Father, please forgive me, I insulted a man yesterday."

Father: "What did you scold him?"

Sister: "I call him' holy shit'."

Father: "Why did you scold him? Tell me, and I will ask God to forgive you. "

Sister: "She touched my chest."

(The priest puts his hand into the nun's chest): "Is that so?"

Sister: "Yes."

Father: "Even if he touched your chest, you shouldn't scold him."

Sister: "But then he knocked me down."

(The priest touches the nun): "Really?"

Sister: "Yes."

Father: "Even if he touches you, you shouldn't scold him."

Sister: "But then he pushed me to the ground, q j me."

(The priest pressed the nun to the ground and q j killed the nun ...): "Really?"

Sister: "Yes."

Father: "Even if he scolds you, you shouldn't scold him."

Sister: "But later, he told me that he had AIDS."

............

Father: "Holy cow!" "

12. A wife was pregnant, but in the ninth month, the husband finally couldn't help it and forced her to do "love things" with him.

Then a month later, the baby was born! It's a boy, a genius!

You can talk when you are born. I saw him turn his head, saw the doctor and asked, "Are you my father?"

The doctor said, "No, I'm a doctor."

Then he saw the nurse again and asked, "Are you my father?"

The nurse said, "No, I'm a nurse."

Finally, he saw his real father and asked, "Are you my father?"

His father said happily, "Yes! I am your father! "

As a result, the child was very angry and poked his father's head with his finger. ...

Scold: "Does it hurt to poke you like this? Does it hurt? tt”

Then ... his wife got pregnant again. ....

By the ninth month, my husband still couldn't help it. therefore ...

As a result, this time I gave birth to a girl, who is also a genius who can talk at birth!

Like her brother, she asked her father one by one.

Father is experienced this time, so he looks up and says, "I ... I'm your father."

As a result, the baby girl was "bah!" Spit in her father's face. ..

He said angrily, "Is it so dirty? Is it dirty? ! ? "

13. Snow White and Pi Nuo Qi live in the same castle. One day, Snow White was bored, so she called Pi Nuo Qiqi, put his head between her legs and kept telling him: lie, tell the truth, lie, tell the truth. ......