Degang Guo's classic jokes (which cross talk jokes in Degang Guo can be called classics)

1. Guo: I have been studying since I graduated from college.

Y: yo ~ you went to college?

Guo: I have studied it for several years. ...

Y: wait a minute. You ... went to college?

Guo: ok ... go to school, go to school ... just study for a few years ...

Y: Let me ask you, which university did you go to?

Guo: Stop it! Studying for these years ...

Y: Who pissed you off? Just ask which university you went to!

Guo: Tsinghua's ... (ambiguous)

Y: What are you vague about? Which university?

Guo: Let me say it again! Ask again and you'll be a dog!

Y: what's this called?

Guo: Qing ... Tsinghua! What's wrong! You killed me!

Y: Qing ... Huachi?

Guo: There is no pool called Tsinghua!

Y: Is that more like it?

Guo: Hey! I'll rub you to death next time you go, and I'll tell you.

Y: still taking a shower!

Second, Degang Guo: As soon as I arrived, I took a good job and built a chimney of more than 70 meters!

Yu Qian: Not bad!

Degang Guo: Get up early and get the job done. People come to check and accept, but they won't give us money anyway!

Yu Qian: Is the quality not good?

Degang Guo: I started to turn the drawings upside down, and people asked me to repair the well!

3. Guo: If people like you, your efforts will be over. I have no diploma, no junior college diploma, and I am not a doctor, master or martyr. ...

Y: that's fast, too.

Guo: ... thank you for your kind words!

Y: How can I be polite? !

Guo: I have never been in front of a doctor, and I have never been behind a doctor's back. ...

Y: Hehe, the net is beside it.

……

Guo: Don't criticize others, you will get me into trouble.

Y: You are in big trouble.

Guo: You are a big product!

Guo: But my sister-in-law doesn't like this play. (Liang Hongyu, Liang Cong)

Y: Why don't you like it?

Guo: What are you doing?

Y: I can't even do it well! What is this pursuit!

Guo: A job can't go through to the end!

V. Guo: Poof! Pull out a gold pen from the back of your ass, a big gold pen of pure gold!

Y: wait a minute. Where did I get this?

Guo: There's a pocket on my ass, poof!

Y: anyway, listening to the sound is just a hole in your pocket ...

Guo: Brother Qian writes with a golden pen.

Y: Oh, really!

Guo: Let me see, ha! 2 million check!

Y: It's really two million! ?

Guo: poof! Put the pen back.

Oh, dear.

Guo: I have a look. I'm really touched! Modest son, I haven't signed it yet ...

Y: huh?

Guo: Oh! Poof! Swish swish signature, it's over, poof!

Y: What does this picture mean?

Kathy: Date ... Oh! Poof! Write down the date ...

Y: I'm addicted!

Degang Guo: the Monkey King is stupid and naive. He is a monkey and will never be a man. He was guarding the flat peach garden, and the seven fairies came to pick peaches. He shouted, ok. All seven fairies are here. He turned to pick peaches! Visible monkeys are monkeys!

Yu Qian: What about you?

Degang Guo: I have to get a basket.

Uncle Qian quarreled with his daughter-in-law at night, stripped naked and danced under the street lamp, fell asleep by the flower pond, and got up in the morning and was watched by more than 40 old ladies who danced square dance.

This is Yu Qian!

Yes, Yu Qian.

White enough. It's none of your business. Why are you old ladies so poor? They have no right. )

It's white, so who, Grandma Sun, please bring me one.

Grandma Wang, grandma Zhao said she was having an infusion, and she will be right with you.

Don't forget to look at the naked old man after the infusion.

8. Yu Qian asked: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Degang Guo replied: Chicken comes first.

Yu Qian asked again: Where did the first chicken in the world come from?

Degang Guo replied, "Life forces me".

It is said that Yu Qian's father stole a hat in the street. First, he tied a shoelace from head to chin, left it behind, and quickly took off someone else's hat and put it on his head when others were not looking. When others turned around, Yu Qian's father said, Hey! Have you lost your hat? Be careful when you walk in the street. Look at me. I wear it under my hat.

X. Guo (My dad said me): You have nothing, the ground under your feet is shaking, the water around you is flowing, your hands are shaking, and your heart is crying. ...

Y: Your father's surname is Cui?

Guo: Your father's name is Jian.

Yu Qian: I just like reading. Every time I read a book, my big dog is beside me. The book is good, but sometimes it will last until noon, and every time I finish reading it, it will take an hour. I looked at the dog's tail for an hour. It's time. Get up and exercise. Always like this. I want to see the time. I can talk for an hour with Doby's dog tail.

Degang Guo: Yes ... every time you want to know, if it's not the right time, you wag your dog's tail ... your family always looks at the time like this. ...

Yu Qian: Isn't that how your family looks at time?

Degang Guo: Here you are. .....

Twelve. Talking about Mr Zhang Wenshun's father having dinner with his mother.

Guo: His mother went out with a steamed stuffed bun, and his father chased it out. ...

Zhang: Why is my father like you?

At that time, everyone was laughing at the bottom, and then Lao Guo came to a sentence

Guo: I can't help it if you insist that I look like your father.

13. Guo: And our Quyi experts.

Y: What's his name?

Guo: "Ma Za."

Yu: "Ma Za"?

Guo: Yes, it's called "Horse-faced Tiger"

Y: foreigners?

Guo: Oh, China people, ethnic minorities.

Y: you have a name and a surname.

Guo: The name is "Horse Soul Tiger".

Y: What's your last name?

Guo: The surname is "Shani"

Y: You are fooling around!

14. Guo: I studied dance at Korean Spicy Cabbage Dance Academy.

Y: How heavy is this smell?

(Lao Guo starts to do the action)

Y: This broadcast gymnastics!

Guo: Our headmaster's name is "Park Yisheng".

Y: Wow, I'm not idle.

Guo: This shows how busy Koreans are.

Fifteen, "Where is the horse seller?"

"Where is the horse buyer?"

"Where is the horse seller?"

"Where is the horse buyer?"

…………

"Right here you can't see! ? "What a good fork in the road!

Sixteen, it is said that Degang Guo went to Yunnan to travel, and a man came face to face and asked, "Big Brother, did you watch the national performance?"

Degang Guo: "There is a (long sound) in Beijing."

Come: "Is there anyone who doesn't wear clothes?"

Degang Guo: "No clothes? (Pretending to be innocent) Without clothes, I know which nationality you are from. ! Don't go! "

Degang Guo: Qian Er went to the Red Cross and asked the staff to donate a dollar. After a while, several pupils came, and one donated 100 yuan.

Yu Qian: Wow, boy, primary school students are all 100 yuan.

Degang Guo: That's right. Qianer told the students to be strong!

Yu Qian: Hello.

Degang Guo: Not long after, another batch of migrant workers arrived. One person donated 1 000 yuan and bowed to them humbly. Be strong!

Yu Qian: Patriotic!

Degang Guo: After a while, several (vague) service personnel from special industries came.

Yu Qian: Why are you so vague ... What is this occupation?

Degang Guo: One person donated100000!

Yu Qian: Wow! A hundred thousand?

Degang Guo: The staff of the Red Cross can't stand it. We don't want the money. Your money is dirty (you look disgusting, you are anxious, how can it be dirty! That's all my hard-earned money!

Yu Qian: Don't talk nonsense!

Degang Guo: Yu Qian was drunk and joked with her sister-in-law and asked her: How many objects have I met before?

Yu Qian: So many people ask this?

Degang Guo: Nothing. They are all my brothers. You said, I'll give you 100 yuan each.

Sister-in-law is happy: What's the difference between you and 3.5 million?