Telling a joke is boring. ......

1. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you!

There are so many people who look down on me. Who are you?

Everything will be fine, and all shall be well.

Most people only do three things in their lives: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

5. Don't be afraid of being used, but you are afraid of being useless.

6. Other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.

7. Women please themselves, and men are pitiful to please themselves!

8. There are green hills, but there is still no firewood. ...

9. Strongly protest against commercial TV series!

10. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made my heart ache and my bones and muscles strain. ...

1 1. Eat wild vegetables at home if you have no money; If you have money, go to the hotel to eat wild vegetables. ...

12. My principle is: if people don't attack me, I won't attack; If someone attacks me, I will be angry!

13. People always make mistakes, otherwise the right way will be crowded.

14. Occasionally, if you live in silence, you will feel great, but if you live in silence, you will be miserable. ...

15. The generation gap is-I asked my father, "What do you think of the chrysanthemum table?" Dad thought for a moment and said, "No!"

16. at first glance, you are not so good, but at second glance, you might as well look fierce.

17. You can't eat a fat man in one bite, but the fat man is eaten in one bite!

18. A woman who knows little about men finally becomes a man's wife, and a woman who knows everything about men finally becomes an old woman.

19. God gave us acne while giving us youth.

20. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

2 1. I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.

22. Money is not everything. Sometimes you need a credit card.

I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

24. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a hundred-dollar bill, press "ctrl c" and keep "ctrl v".

25. People are afraid of being famous pigs and being strong, while men are afraid of having no money and women are afraid of being fat.

26. If it is a mistake to have money, I would rather make the same mistake again.

27. If marriage is the grave of love, then I expect someone to bury me.

28. Never hang yourself from a tree. Try it on the surrounding trees several times.

29. Everyone has at least one dream and one strong reason.

30. Mature people don't ask the past, smart people don't ask the present, and open-minded people don't ask the future.

3 1. Love is like two people pulling a rubber band, and the injured one is always unwilling to let go!

32. If the heart has no place to live, it will wander everywhere!

33. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that being handsome can be so single-minded!

34. When I was a child, I didn't study. My mother said, "When I grow up, I will let you marry a bachelor who sells pork." Now educate my daughter: "study hard and grow up to marry a bachelor who sells pork."

35. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. I was shocked when I ate the first one: Is there anything worse in the world? I cried after eating the second one: there really is!

36. Cherish your life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan.

37. Work, take a step back and broaden the horizon; Love, take a step back and broaden the horizon.

38. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

39. Mom said that it is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

40. Don't say that women are too realistic if men don't have skills, and don't say that men are too playboy if women don't have strength.

4 1. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

42. Many people have jumped off buildings recently, so be careful not to be hit.

43. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except chewing gum.

44. Be sure to be reborn as a woman in the next life, and then marry a man like me.

45. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

46. I have not only a car, but also my own car.

47. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

48. If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

49. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

50. What's the use of "handsome"! Finally, it was eaten by the "pawn"!

5 1. Four tragedies in life: a long drought meets a sweet rain, a drop; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When I want to be the first, I dream.

Love is like playing basketball. There are attacks and defenses, and sometimes there are fake actions!

53. Lying in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: if they are all heads, I will go to class. Hesitated for a long time, forget it. Don't take the risk.

54. A successful husband has more money than his wife can spend, and a successful wife finds such a husband.

55. Pigs have pig thoughts, and people have people's thoughts. If a pig has a human brain, it is not a pig-it is Bajie!

56. There is a monkey in the zoo that makes everyone vomit. One day I went and I vomited; One day you went and the monkey threw up.

57. Everyone else spends money, but I spend money every day.

A long time ago, lies and truth bathed by the river. The lies were washed first, and they left in real clothes, but the truth refused to wear lies. Later, in people's eyes, only lies in real clothes are hard to accept the naked truth.

59. Rose, yours; Chocolate, yours; Diamonds, yours; You, mine.

60. In a threesome, there must be a teacher, a swordsman, a strong person, a love triangle and a wound.

6 1. Men hate women's vulgarity when they have no money, and wish women's vulgarity when they have money.

62. I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

63. I can't play chess, I can't paint and write, and I am too tired to wash and cook.

64. I have been sad, tearful and heartbroken. This is the price of "two".

You will never see me when I love you the most, because I love you the most only when I can't see you. Similarly, you will never see my loneliest time, because I am the loneliest only when you can't see me.

What makes you tired is not the distant mountain, but a grain of sand in your shoe!

67. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people.

68. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, this means it's itchy, but it can't be scratched. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt that itch for a long time.

69. I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village in spring, and I harvested many handsome guys in autumn. Then I changed the name of the village to "handsome boy"

Village ",I also became the village head as I wished.

70. Women are divided into married and unmarried, and men are divided into voluntary marriage and forced marriage.

7 1. Healthy and simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

72. Mistakes are temporary regrets, and misses are eternal regrets.

73. Economists say that capital flows add value. Later, I found that my own funds were flowing and others' funds were increasing in value.

74. I will be good friends with whoever says I am white, thin and beautiful.

75. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside.

76. Once I saw my uncle buying vegetables, I blurted out, "Uncle, did you buy it for my uncle?" The second uncle said, "I'm too old to speak to anyone."

77. Are you bored at work? Flip a coin, surf the internet on the front, sleep on the back, work when you stand up, work hard when you stand up, and apply for overtime when you fail. If you throw two pieces, throw them every day!

When I was a child, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome boy", which puzzled me. Later my classmates showed me a mirror. Oh, I suddenly understand!

79. Comrades: Don't speculate in stocks. It's too risky It's safest to make tofu-it's dried tofu when it's hard, tofu brain when it's thin, tofu skin when it's thin, soybean milk when it's gone, and stinky tofu when it's stinky. You can make a steady profit without losing money.

80. The ideal of life is the ideal life.

8 1. Men deepen their friendship because of alcohol and tobacco, while women deepen their friendship because of complaints.

82. If you love someone, you have to understand and understand. Apologize and thank you; We must admit our mistakes and correct them; Be considerate and considerate; Is to accept rather than endure; It is tolerance rather than connivance; Is to support rather than dominate; It is sympathy rather than questioning; Is to pour out rather than blame; Is unforgettable rather than forgotten; Communicate with each other instead of explaining everything; Is to pray silently for each other instead of making many demands on each other.

83. Don't force a man to lie, he will hate you; Don't take his words seriously, you will hate him.

84. One day Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He kept crying and crying ... It sprouted. ...

85. Men fool women and call it flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

86. "Why do people have two ears?" Grandma said, "You can go in one ear and out the other. If the light doesn't come in, it's not appropriate. "

87. Let nature take its course, be calm when things go wrong, be indifferent when you are proud, and be calm when you are frustrated.

88. above people, treat people as people; Under people, treat yourself as a person.

89. Impulse shows that you still have passion for life; Always impulsive, which means you don't know life yet.

90. The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to always have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all your life.

9 1. One day passed and my eyes closed and opened again. My eyes closed and never opened again.

92. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.

93. Stop eating pork and watch the pigs run away.

94. When I was paid, the accountant said to me, "You should get paid every six months. There is too little change now ... "

95. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

96. What is more valuable than gold is honesty; Broader than the sea is tolerance; Morality is higher than mountains.

97. A person may need very little in his life-a glass of water, a bowl of rice and a sentence "I love you". But I hope: you pour water, you cook, and you tell me that I love you.

98. Life is like a card game! Not to catch a good hand, but to play a bad hand.

99. When you point your finger at others, please don't forget that your own three fingers are also pointing at yourself.

100. Find a boyfriend like EXCEL-hide if you want, filter if you want, and delete if you want. None of them are high.

Xing, I haven't been saved yet!

10 1. Love makes people forget time and time makes people forget love.

102. Sleep is for practical work, and work is for practical sleep.

103. If you want to succeed, you should regard persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.

104. A person without money is like a dish without salt, lacking some flavor. Tips: Eating too much salt is bad for both body and mind.

105. My dream now determines my future. So let's go to bed.

106. Many years ago, there was a rainbow after the storm.

107. Nostalgia-not because of how good that era was, but because you were still young at that time.

108. I went to the hospital for a physical examination and passed by the ENT. After careful examination, the doctor wrote a "handsome" boring WeChat conversation on my physical examination form.

Yesterday, I received a greeting message on WeChat. Open it and it's a mm.

MM: "How boring!"

Me: "I'm so bored!" "I'm looking forward to her asking me out to play. )

MM: "If you are bored, you can fart to chase!" "

I deleted her without saying anything.

Foreigners speak Chinese.

One day, a foreigner who knows a little Chinese visited a factory.

On the way, the director said, "Excuse me, I'm going to the toilet."

The foreigner couldn't understand this Chinese sentence and asked the translator, "What does convenience mean?"

The translator said, "Just go to the toilet." Foreigner: "Oh ..."

At the end of the visit, the director enthusiastically said to the foreigner, "Let's have dinner together at your convenience next time!" "

The foreigner looked unhappy and said in blunt Chinese, "I never eat at my convenience!" " "