Non-mainstream humor. Tell me about your face and my insole.

1. Going home on holiday, local love has become a long-distance love, and long-distance love has become a local love. Nobody loves or nobody loves.

2. Why is spring green? Because I wear a cuckold in winter.

3. How many children were hurt by the exam and how many honest children learned to cheat.

As the name implies, Cheng just bites other people's gold.

5. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table.

-I said you don't know love.

6. In the future, you will accompany me and need your love. Don't let go of my hand, go this way. The colorful roof that I dreamed of with you can keep out the rain.

7. Tell me? Do you still love me ? What if? It is said that employers and employees should get out at once, because employers and employees can't be frightened.

8. What is rich in Thailand? Of course it's a shemale ~

9. Mom and Dad will help you save red envelopes first. The biggest scam in history is wood! ! !

10. My sugar-fried chestnuts have been a semester, and they are about to bite.

1 1. Everyone says you worship money, and you really worship money!

12.-= It is said that girls who like such arrogance must be girls with clear love and hate, outstanding personality and dare to love and hate. Are you the same?

13. It's great to get the test paper. I was so nervous that I forgot my vocabulary. Deja vu, unclear explanation, vague grammar reading. After reading the composition, I cried for a thousand lines and left the examination room two hours later.

14. You can come to my world at will, but don't walk around in my world ~

15. Fahai, if you don't know love, the Leifeng Tower will collapse.

16. What underpants are not domineering, but are exposed?

17. You are in my aunt's heart ~

18. Laozi and Confucius said that if you don't listen to us, you will suffer ahead. If you don't listen to Lao Tzu, you will suffer more. If you don't listen to Confucius, you will suffer more.

19. It's contagious. Stay away.

20. Life is like an angry bird ~ There are always several pigs laughing when it fails ~

2 1. Why are women diving so hard and men's table tennis so strong in China? Because the ancients said: to jump a few women, a gentleman strikes a good ball.

22. You are a salted fish. I know you will turn over one day, but you are still a salted fish after turning over.

23. 10 years ago in September 1 day, I carried a small schoolbag, danced, beamed, and walked into school, and I never returned.

24. When I was a child, I thought Fahai liked white snakes to drive away Xu Xian. Now I always feel that I really like Xu to drive the white snake away.

25. I went to have my hair cut with my friends. I was chopping him, saying that jumping in the right eye might be unlucky. I say you rub it and you won't jump. As a result, I bowed my head and rubbed my eyes, and my hair disappeared from the middle.

26. Do you know that I said it on purpose? I said haha because I really feel bad. Did I say haha because I wanted to cry? Are you fucking ambiguous?

27. People, if you come out to mix, you have to put your face in your crotch.

The most interesting thing in a person's life is that you are alive and suddenly die.

29. hey. Don't think that my world will be destroyed without you.

30. Others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.

3 1. Losing weight is a woman's lifelong career. Usually it starts after meals and ends before meals. ...

32. Many people despise me. Who are you?

33. Your face, my insole.

34. Everyone often wants to die. But I dare not. Then meditate in your mind. Take courage another day. I will die ~! ~!

35. In fact, God is a human being, but he has done things that people can't do, such as mental illness.

36. Don't shit in front of flies. Why does he think you are showing off your wealth?

37. Will a bachelor stay in his next life?

38. A woman's drunkenness is a man's chance.

39. The poor can't afford computers or televisions. What can they do in bed?

40. I love you just like a mouse loves rice and a fly loves shit.

4 1. Living the life of Bajie, but wanting the figure of Monkey Brother, dreaming!

42. I wake up every morning thinking I quit, and my grandson goes to work as usual after twenty minutes.

I want to be your heart in my next life. If I don't jump, you will die.

44. You get 60 points, I get 60 points, so we can be together.

45. Grey Wolf said: I can't wronged my wife anyway!

46. When I was in middle school, a buddy took me to the book stall and proudly asked the boss, is there Liu Bei? I was wondering when the boss dug out two yellow books from the corner and handed them over.

47. Everyone else is holding hands, but I am holding a dog in my hand to see who bites people unhappy.

48. Sometimes if you feel ugly, take out your ID card, and you will find yourself worrying too much.

49. I am dead and have something to burn. Small things arouse the soul, big things dig the grave. Really miss me. Come down with me. If you encounter a line, it is purely a walking corpse!

If you think you will be happy in the future, send flowers.

5 1. I saw my good friend say that I was exhausted from eating hot pot tonight and failed to lose weight. Then I clicked in and clicked like it.

Non-mainstream humorous phrases

First, how far a person can go depends on who he walks with; How good a person is depends on who gives him advice; How successful a person is depends on who he is with.

Second, the red apricot is not out of the wall and resolutely pulled out.

Third, the innocence of love in college lies in being able to eat instant noodles together and drink soup with an open mind.

The future is bright, but there is no road.

Everyone said that history is a little girl's braid, and I smiled slightly. Is history so beautiful? The accurate statement should be: history is a person's beard. As time goes on, the black drops become white drops.

6. Do things when you are awake, read books when you are confused, and sleep when you are angry.

Seven, get up every morning and shout: "Fuck Japan." This is not only good for health, but also can cultivate patriotic moral sentiments!

Eight, stupid people are terrible not because they are stupid, but because they are smart.

I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

Ten, be careful, but don't be "narrow-minded"!

Eleven, weeding at noon, bow and shoot big carvings.

Twelve, if garlic is federal, then bananas are confederate, if grapes are feudal, then oranges are counties, if mangoes are centralized, then coconuts are empty kings.

Thirteen, I am a bird, I can't fly high, because the cage is too high!

I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

15. If you love her, put on a wedding dress and then strip her naked.

16.- Stop dreaming and study hard!

Seventeen, bald donkey, dare to challenge the original class teacher?

Love is a luxury. It's like a fox coat in a Paris window, so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will wake people up. Love is also a luxury, you can only look at it from a distance, don't fantasize, don't touch it, because it is indispensable to meet the right person at the right time and in the right place.

Nineteen, my life is not determined by heaven, and heaven will destroy me.

20. Chatting with Goddess on qq, I found that Goddess's favorite thing is: Oh, I'm going to take a shower, I'm going to eat, or I'm free to go out to chat, my classmates called me, and my mother called me ... Goddess's life is really busy!

2 1. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

I'm not an ordinary person, so I don't speak Mandarin.

23. Mom said that it is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.

I can't promise you anything, but I will do it: if one day you feel hungry, then you will smile and see that I have starved to death in your arms.

Twenty-five, I would rather sacrifice the last virgin in China than leave any Japanese virgin!

Twenty-six, the highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get other people's wages.

Twenty-seven, I would like to become an angry bird and hit those pigs.

Complete works of non-mainstream humorous personality

1. If one day I become a gangster, it's all your fault.

2. Think about the salary ratio, living really failed, as if to start all over again.

I want to grow old with you, remember the agreement with me when it snows.

It is said that people who love each other can be together because they meet the right person.

Let's be together, nothing is difficult in the world, nothing is impossible to a willing mind.

6. Fall in love. Together. Tired. It faded. Argue. Disappeared

7. The money of the rich second generation is given by parents, and the money of office workers is saved piece by piece.

8. The cashier said: No change. Here are two sweets for you.

9. Of course, people are wrong in front of the government and employees are wrong in front of the boss.

10. The boss who gets up early and is greedy for the black will deduct his salary.

1 1. Time is the best teacher, but in the end it kills all the students.

12. Grandpa's paper made many teenagers become lonely old people.

13. The life and work of young people in China and the competition among the second generation of officials. The competition between emotion and rich second generation.

14. The furthest distance in the world is that Chinese speakers and English speakers can't understand each other.

15. Mom, I want to bring a bra, I want to use sanitary napkins, and my son will shut up. You will never need these things.

16. I am not happy. Just get some sleep. It doesn't matter if you are sad, it's not good to hurt your stomach.

17. You said you were my friend. I know that animals are friends of human beings.

18. Don't think I play tricks in class. I don't know. Who will giggle at my crotch?

19. The name on the phone between lovers is him, but it became it after breaking up.

20. Money can help you with what you can't bring.

2 1. If you want to make your life colorful, you can buy lottery tickets, which can bring hope and disappointment.

22. You are manipulating here now, but I am very excited when he comes back.

23. The classmate took the LV bag, and as a result, a country child said donkey.

24. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a eunuch who disappeared below.

25. The lover is waiting for you. Think about whether you are stuck in a traffic jam or lost.

26. Children who are not good at math% are emotional people.

27. Turn off your cell phone and computer. If anyone can find me, I'll go with her to get a marriage certificate.

28. You sleep with me every day. How can you not love my pillow and tell me maliciously?

29. Anyway, there are two kinds of people who can play with me: those who can tolerate my mental illness and those who are as mental as me.

30. Will you like me? No, I'll teach you.

3 1. Class lasts for one minute, just like one o'clock. A little surfing the internet is like a minute.

32. Why do so many people in Weibo send photos of themselves hanging bottles? Because he wanted to prove to everyone that I didn't give up treatment.

There are two local tyrants in the school, one is called canteen and the other is called canteen.

34. I am familiar with mobile phones, and I really can't live without them.

For girls, it is an extreme sport to be naked in winter morning just to wear underwear.

36. In primary school, we will buy a yearbook. Students usually write on the second page: Remember to invite me to a wedding reception when I grow up. Draw another smiling face.

37. I hope Santa Claus can put the final exam answers of all subjects in my socks at the bedside on Christmas Eve.

38. When I see a classmate looking in the mirror, I always say, Look in the mirror.

39. I am who I am. Crazy when happy, quiet when unhappy.

40. Love a wild horse. There is no grassland at home! The problem is that I fell in love with a wild dog. He bit me black and blue and said I bit him!

4 1. Peaches are not only Ali, but she is also sure.

42. Mobile phones, you hungry goods, have eaten all my phone bills as Snickers!

43. If you don't get angry, some people will never know what pushing your luck is.

44. I feel so unlucky to know you in such a big world.

45. Come back, I can't fool you alone.

46. Pick up the cake and rush to the money!

47. Scholars play dead for their confidants, while women have plastic surgery for their own amusement.

48. I am a famous villain

49. Once you were the oxygen in my life, now you only deserve to be carbon dioxide.

I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. If you bury your wife in the soil in spring, you will be shot in autumn.

5 1. Be optimistic about the future and be philosophical about people's hearts.

52. The universe is grand because it is called the universe, because it is the universe.

53. My enthusiasm is limited, so you should hurry.

54. Life is new, work harder, get off work more easily, cherish family, be calm in everything, make more friends, be kind, eat scientifically, play gracefully, be indifferent to fame and fortune, and be tolerant and generous.

55. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

56. I put 10 thousand vows in a machine gun and then shoot you. You're lying in a pool of blood, covered in Cupid bullets!

57. I can't bow my head, I don't know how to retain, and I'm not good at words. This could be me.

58. How much sadness can you have? Like a bunch of eunuchs going to a brothel.

59. Tanks bound for spring!

60. Bad people must be bitches, and bitches are not necessarily bad people.

6 1. I am single-celled, unattractive, thick-skinned, poor in figure, and like to make trouble without reason.

62. It is gold, which will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

63. Look at a beautiful MM, but there is no way to strike up a conversation. Pick up a brick by the roadside and step forward. Classmate, did you drop it?

64. You have many sisters, and you don't lack me, but I am the only one who is good to you!

65. Try gold with fire, women with gold and men with women.

Classic non-mainstream humorous quotations

1. When chatting with my girlfriend, I found that she has more girlfriends than me.

2, hate less when using books, and lose weight when eating more meat.

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

4. Life is like a pancake, you have to turn it over several times before it matures.

5. Eggs break food from the outside and life from the inside.

6. My girlfriend bumped into the door and her eyes were swollen. In order not to make people laugh at her for being stupid, she told everyone that it was my domestic violence.

7. Go to the movies with a girl who has liked it for several months. After the commercial, she asked me to go to the bathroom. Then she never came back.

8. I invited a boy to go to the movies. He came with his mother.

9. How hard it is to be thin in a fat man's heart.

10, slogan: close to civilization, close to convenience.

1 1, it's not that the road is rough, but that you can't.

12, money is not everything, sometimes you need a credit card.

13, naked, to show off the figure; Not having enough to eat is to keep healthy.

14. In order to master one more eating skill, I'm going to start practicing using chopsticks with my left hand.

My boyfriend moved. He moved from my room to my roommate's room.

16, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed watching his mobile phone. Just then, an automatic reminder message appeared on the screen: "Don't forget to lie to the baby about going out this Friday."

17 I asked my boyfriend of five years to choose between me and World of Warcraft, or play World of Warcraft or break up with me. He said World of Warcraft would make him happier.

18, my ex-boyfriend was dumped by my current girlfriend, so I wrote him a song and told him how much I loved him, hoping he would give me a chance. As a result, the ex-boyfriend transferred the song to the girl who dumped him and said that he wrote it. So they got back together.

19, everyone should love animals, especially cooked animals.

20, deep feelings, a stuffy; Shallow feelings, lick it; Feelings are thick and you don't drink enough; Feeling thin, can't drink; Emotional iron, drinking blood.

2 1, in order to save water, try to take a bath with your girlfriend.

22. Being drunk is never the sin of alcohol, but the degree of feelings is too high.

It is foolish to treat beauty as capital, but it is wise to treat beauty as energy.

24, the index dried up and funds flowed into the sea. Lose a floor because you don't have a thousand miles.

25. Why are my eyes always full of tears? Because I pretend to be deep.