Valentine's day joke 130

Valentine's Day is a day when every couple is particularly excited, and it is also a day when each of us "shows love". Of course, for many people who have been in contact for many years or are "married couples", we will celebrate this festival in different ways. So, do you know any jokes about Valentine's Day?

Next, let's look for the answer from the perspective of 20 15 Valentine's Day!

1, Valentine's Day is coming, who has a daughter to lend us one and return it to both of you next year!

2, the wife is home, and the lover is a flower; Pay the family and buy flowers with bonuses; Go home and see flowers when you are sick; I hope you remember to go home often in the new year, but don't forget to water the flowers.

The company issued the year-end bonus two days ago. Unfortunately, I was away on a business trip, so I sent a text message to my colleague to accept it for me.

I came back from a business trip yesterday and asked my colleagues for my year-end bonus directly. When I met my colleagues, I explained my purpose. After listening to my words, my colleague didn't give me a bonus directly, but took out his mobile phone and said guiltily, "Xiao Zhang, I'm really sorry. Please call my wife to explain." On the night of the bonus, my wife searched out your year-end bonus, and she confiscated it as my private money ... "

4. A company recruited staff, but a few days later, an English major position was not filled. A foreign college student came for an interview and the recruiter asked him in English. The college student froze for a long time and said, why don't you pay attention to your language?

5. Outside the castle peak outside the mountain, I will always love you; The cold wind makes me cry. It's really hard to miss you. I just want to hold your hand and be happy and sweet forever. Happy new year!

6, New Year's Day is coming, it is too expensive to buy a Mercedes-Benz to send you; Please travel abroad, waste; Invite you to eat a big meal, which will hurt your stomach; Send you a rose, misunderstanding; Give you a kiss, no! Send a short message to wish you a happy New Year's Day.

7. The male butterfly sings to the female butterfly, "You are my lover, a woman like a rose!" " After singing, I flew to pick roses. Then there was a scream, and Mother Butterfly sang, "Honey, fly slowly, be careful of the thorny rose in front!" " "

8. One day, the landline phone saw the bar phone doing sit-ups, and the next day, the landline phone saw the bar phone doing sit-ups, which was very curious. So he asked the bar number: "Why do you always do sit-ups? Do you want to lose weight? " The straightener replied, "I want to make a flip phone …" A few days later, the landline suddenly found the straightener doing pull-ups, and asked the straightener, why don't you do sit-ups? The trigger says that slide phones are popular now.

9. People eat jiaozi with chopsticks in the Spring Festival, moon cakes with their hands in the Mid-Autumn Festival and roast geese with knives and forks at Christmas. Christmas is coming, you'd better go out and hide!

10, wife is a TV, lover is a mobile phone, watch TV at home, go out with a mobile phone, go bankrupt and sell TV, get rich and change mobile phones, watch TV occasionally, play mobile phones all day, TV is free for life, and mobile phones are overdue. The 30-year-old man is bad at school and sings the same love as his contemporaries. The 40-year-old man is bad at school and sings the late love with the next generation. The 50-year-old man is even worse. Being a woman must stand up to lies, perfunctory, cheating and forgetting promises. I would rather believe that there are ghosts in the world than men's mouths and husbands, who are all temporary workers!

1 1, the baby asked: "Valentine's Day is coming, how to spend it?" Me: "What do you think we should do?" Baby: "People want to hear your thoughts." Me: "Either, laugh it off ..."

12, the most suitable game for Valentine's Day, eliminate one pair after another! Let's play Lianliankan!

13, Valentine's Day mood: living in a humble abode, living a timid life, feeling very annoyed …