Humorous stories, ancient and modern jokes and other short articles with distinctive expressions!

Andersen, a famous Danish fairy tale writer, lived frugally all his life and often wore a shabby hat to show our charm. A guy laughed at him and said, "what's that thing on your head?" Is it a hat? " Andersen retorted, "What's that thing under your hat? Can you count it? "

Mark Twain borrowed books from his neighbor. The neighbor said, "Borrowing books is ok, but you can't borrow my library."

One day, my neighbor borrowed a lawn mower from Mark Twain. Mark Twain said, "I can borrow it, but I can't take out my garden."

One winter, Ji Xiaolan followed Qianlong's southern tour to Bailong Temple, which coincided with the monk ringing the bell. The solemn ancient temple is full of bells and full of poetry. The seven characters of "Golden Bell Hood of Bailong Temple" are written with a pen. When Ji Xiaolan saw it, he knew that Qianlong intended to test him, so he calmly wrote a pair of couplets: "The Jade Emperor was swimming in the Yellow Crane Tower". Gan Long immediately clapped his hands and praised: "Good job!" .

Ji Xiaolan is familiar with poems and has a strong memory. His teacher once took a joint examination of Du Fu's "A Car Shop", saying that "the new ghost is crying there with the old ghost". He skillfully used the sentence "His life hangs by a thread" in Li Shangyin's Ma Su, which was seamless and neat, making his teacher admire you more than Lan.

/kloc-in the summer of 0/6, Emperor Qianlong saw the lotus in the pond for the first time. Qianlong got a sentence: "Lotus root in the pond, who did you hit with your bare hands?" . When Ji Xiaolan saw the castor on the left side of the pond, he asked the opposite sentence and replied, "What do you want from the castor on the shore?" . Similarly, the questioning is relative and flawless, which makes Qianlong amazed.

When Ji Xiaolan was selected as a Jinshi, he saw that there were many pawnbrokers in Beijing, so he casually recited a couplet: "East pawnbroker, west pawnbroker, east pawnbroker for things", and he couldn't make a couplet after thinking hard. Later, he ordered to go to Tongzhou to be an examiner. Seeing that Tongzhou is divided into north and south, he struggled for several months before reaching the bottom line: "Nantong House, North Tongzhou, North Tongzhou connects north and south." That's great.

One autumn, a troupe that often fooled people went to Ji Xiaolan's hometown to perform. Because the place is poor and the life is poor, the performer is very angry. Therefore, the actor who plays the role of "examiner" in a play satirizes the villagers there: "sour mustard, smelly cucumber, frowning at the entrance; Clinker coincided with Ji Xiaolan's visit to his parents in his hometown, so he angrily replied, "Destroy the pear garden, lose the play, make a fuss!"

Ji Xiaolan once had a doctor friend with a bad temper. One day, Ji Xiaolan went to see a doctor because of a slight illness. The doctor's friend said to him, if I make couplets, if you can make couplets, the medical fee and medicine fee are free. Ji Xiaolan thinks this couplet can beat me? Then nodded yes. The first couplet reads: "ointment can be eaten, medicine can be eaten, and plaster can't be eaten." Ji Xiaolan took advantage of his temper and continued the second couplet: "Spleen is good for medicine, qi is good for medicine, and temper is not good for medicine." Touch its shortcomings and urge it to correct, pun intended, wonderful!

A magistrate heard that Ji Xiaolan was brilliant and good at dialogue, so he wanted to try it himself. One day, Ji Xiaolan was traveling in this county with his driver. He wrote an interesting couplet: "Rats, big or small, are called old". Ji Xiaolan thought for a moment, but it was hard to be right for a moment. He looked around and saw a parrot. He said quietly, "Parrots are hermaphroditic." The magistrate secretly marveled at Ji Xiaolan's talent.

Ji Xiaolan deftly confronted Emperor Qianlong.

Ji Xiaolan, a gifted scholar in Qing Dynasty, read books and recited poems to Emperor Qianlong every day after he entered the palace, which made him homesick for a long time.

One day, Emperor Qianlong saw Ji Xiaolan's heart and said to him, "You are moping all day, you must have something on your mind." Ji Xiaolan said, "How can I see it?" Gan Long went on to say, you are: "You think about your wife and children, and your parents." Ji Xiaolan immediately knelt down and said, "Yes, he will appreciate it if your Majesty allows you to take a vacation and go home."

Gan Long said, "As long as you are at the top of my list, you can take a vacation." Ji Xiaolan said, "Thank you for your words, thank God and thank the king." Emperor Qianlong was very unhappy when he saw Ji Xiaolan's bottom allied antithesis, so he allowed Ji Xiaolan to go back to his hometown to visit his mother.