Humorous personality signature

1, the tree will die if it is not peeled; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

2, SAO to SAO, SAO has SAO virginity * * * *; Cheap means cheap, and cheap means cheap dignity.

Debut at the age of 3 or 0, every day 10. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, he is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, he is popular everywhere. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed. When you left, you smiled and everyone cried.

5. Stand higher and pee farther.

6. After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium and burn them all to ashes. You have a pile, I have a pile, no one knows who it is, and they all have to be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

7. I met a MM personality signature: I can't play chess and draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking.

8. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

9. I met an old Shaanxi personality signature: ugly women are more troublesome, and black buns are more vegetables.

10, met our teacher's signature: I tell you, the teacher is very angry now, and the consequences are very serious (after his nth blind date failed).

1 1, met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not.

12, I met a lover's signature: I can keep my word, and the person I like has to change every day.

13, met the sleeping king in the class. Personality signature: three points full in the morning, three points full in the middle and six points full after dinner.

14, we want to fly in heaven, two birds use one wing, and I want to be a pig in the same circle!

15, don't worry, I see you don't even have an appetite, so what are you talking about * * *!

16, chopped-do you want a piece?

17. I think I would like it if I came later in the morning.

18, I can't give you happiness, but I can comfort you!

19, life is really fun, because life is always playing with me.

20. Buddha said, "Looking back 500 times in the past life, you can only pass once in this life." I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life.

2 1, I want to puppy love, but it's already late. ...

22. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

23. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

24, how far is the thought, how far you roll for me.

25, hooligans are not terrible, they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

26, guest officer, please respect yourself, the little girl only sells herself, not an entertainer.

27. A man's lies can lie to a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can lie to a man for a lifetime!

28, water can carry a boat, but also can cook porridge!

29. Zi said in Sichuan, "How nice it is to have a boat!"

30, want a small MM, * * * with irrigation; I irrigate the head of the Yangtze River and you irrigate the tail of the Yangtze River.

3 1, love at first sight, then decline, three points exhausted.

32. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

33. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

34, work QQ, decline to chat, if you want to talk strongly, every word is hairy; Punctuation marks, half price, 1000 words or more, 20% off; Yan Wen, ten-month subscription, audio and video, not yet provided; Pay first and then chat, chat as soon as the payment arrives, pay online and provide tickets; Free monthly rent, single charge, weekend, business as usual; Looking for an agent,

35. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

36. Knit me a scarf, and I will repay you with my lifelong care. Otherwise, you can strangle me with a scarf!

37. Men pretend to understand if they don't understand, while women are just the opposite.

In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

39. The garden can't be closed in spring. I'm pulling apricots from the wall.

40. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes

4 1, I thought I was decadent, and only today did I know that my morning paper was scrapped.

42. I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain taught me to swim.

43. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

44. An elephant asked the camel, "Why do your breasts grow on your back?" The camel said,' Stay away from death, I don't talk to things that grow on my face!

45. You should do three important things for the people of the whole country: install an elevator for Mount Everest, tile the Great Wall and put the plane into reverse gear. Three little things: put a mask on mosquitoes, gloves on flies and condoms on cockroaches.

46, the wife is a * * * system, but it is very troublesome to install and uninstall; The little secret is the desktop, you can change it every day as long as you are interested; Lover is the internet, the scenery is infinite, and money is constantly spent; Miss is pirated software, remember to kill virus first when using it!

47. Have you heard? It took 5000 times to look back in my last life before I passed by in this life. In this life, good friends like us, in our last life ... did nothing but turn around!

48. I am 20 years old, everyone loves me, flowers bloom and flowers fall, and the car has a flat tire! I know everything about astronomy and geography above, but I know little about it below. Every time I walk outside, I often bring beautiful women back, and handsome guys jump off buildings!

49. I want to send you roses, but the price is too expensive; I want to comfort you, but I haven't learned it yet; I want to kneel down to you, but the ring is still in the safe.

50. Love is empty, and I wander in the street; People are empty of money, and a single evil cause is troublesome; Things are people, non-industry is empty, and it is crazy to think of it; Life is not easy when the mobile phone is empty and there is no money to charge it; Anyway, all four are empty.

60, fart, bad heart; Do not fart, exercise; I'm going to fart, everyone. Clap your hands when the fart rings!

6 1, copy books, make sentences and write compositions-children's things are all done by adults. Endless love rowing to find a bosom friend-things for adults, things for children. Perm your hair and wear strange clothes-a woman's business is a man's business.

62. The early bird catches the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird!

63. I argued with MM about whether a whale is a fish. Finally, I said, "I also have a personal word." She agreed that a whale is not a fish.

64. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

65. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women in XX campus will live forever. ...

67. Don't be afraid that your enemies are like tigers, but your teammates are like pigs!

68. If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if people are cheap, they will be invincible!

69. I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

70. Today, a group of Japanese came to visit our school-to be honest, this is the first time I have seen a Japanese in clothes!

7 1, I am poor, my servant is poor, my gardener is poor, and my driver is poor. ...

72. When the bank charges, it says, "This is in line with international practice!" When he was in service, he said: "We must consider China's national conditions!"

73, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; He who has wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be * * * *

74. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

79. I swallowed an aphrodisiac, and the world immediately became * * * * ~

80. If falling in love is falling in love, isn't that hooliganism?

8 1, the sentence "Japanese are human" belongs to: a. metaphor; B. exaggeration; C. metonymy; D. personification

82. Grandpa comes from his grandson ...

85. It's all water. Why do you need wine? Why are you pretending to be sheep when you are all perverts!

86. All unforgettable love is the moment when the soul is free in bed ~

The Teenage Ninja Turtle said, "If you want to live a decent life, you must wear some green on your back!" "

88. Sleeping on my stomach, I am strong-* * * the earth, sleeping on my stomach, I am strong-* * * the whole universe!

90. The sun was born when the day put the night in bed again. ...

9 1, there are only two kinds of men: one is lascivious and the other is very lascivious!

9 1, ① Teacher, just follow the old woman ... ② The old woman is rude, it's your turn ~ ③ Teacher, please spare the old woman! (4) Anitopher, I can't shoot-_-b.

94. Life made me * * *, and I castrated my life. ...

95. According to the time law of hormone activity, it is concluded that morning exercise is not as early as * * * *!

96. God, did you share a room in summer and winter? Give birth to this damn weather!

97. Don't hang yourself on a tree, try to die on several nearby trees several times ~

98. Ma Hua Teng said privately, "It is better to talk about QQ for half a year than to learn Chinese for ten years!"