Hefei dialect sketch joke video

This cross talk is Jiang Kun Dai Zhicheng's cross talk "Interesting Online Students".

J: Hey, that comrade, let me ask you a question. Well, don't go back.

Who are you asking? Why?

An old man with a braid.

D: huh? An old man with a braid?

J: No, it's the old man next to the braid.

What would you ask others?

I asked him if he was online.

Well, Jiang Kun, I know you set up a China crosstalk network, so you don't have to say anything!

J: Gee, this network is great.

D: Huh?

J: learned a lot?

D: what can I learn?

J: You don't know the meaning of some words unless you learn them.

D: What words don't you understand?

Dai, let me ask you something. You have to learn a word called "leakage" to engage in network computers. Do you know what it means to miss?

D: when it leaks,

J: mm-hmm

D: It's just a pair of pants when it leaks.

What are you thinking about?

D: Is the crotch leaking?

J: The download is in English.

Don't speak English. What do you mean by speaking Chinese?

J: It means "Xia Zi" in Chinese.

Well, who are you kidding? As friends all know, this is called downloading.

J: You see, downloading is downloading.

D: I have to learn something.

J: Can't you learn this?

D: Right, right, right!

J: network

D: ah.

Then the general manager will not be called the general manager.

D: what's that called?

J: three letters: CEO.

Oh, the CEO.

J: Alas, the person who does this finance is called CFO.

D: oh.

J: The technician is called CTO.

D: What do you do?

I am a UFO.

D: Huh? ... UFO? Jiang Kun,

Aha,

D: I think you look like XO.

J: Is that more like it?

What is a UFO?

Therefore, the Internet is great.

D: oh.

J: My cross talk network receives a lot of material every day.

D: Can Crosstalk Network enrich our cross talk creation?

I received an email this morning.

Oh, e-mail.

J: I have a friend who told him a joke that happened around me.

D: what's this?

He said that when he saw the crowd in the shop,

D: oh.

I just heard the phone ring.

Oh, the phone is ringing.

J: A gay man is answering, "Hello?"

D: oh.

J: The other party is saying, "Honey, I want to buy it."

D: looking for a husband

J: "What can I buy?" I want to buy a necklace! "How much is it?" "Only eight thousand."

D: "Only 8,000."

J: "Buy four, and wear one in spring, summer, autumn and winter."

Well, I have money.

J: "Then I still want to buy it." "What else can I buy?" "I want to buy a diamond ring!" "How much is it?" "Only twelve thousand."

D: "Only 12,000."

J: "buy three, wear one on your left hand and two on your right hand." "Then I still want to buy it." "What else can I buy?" "I buy a car!" "How much is it?" "Only 200,000." "buy."

D: pay the money quickly

J: One level, "Who lost his cell phone?"

D: Huh?

J: Who lost it?

Uh, wait, isn't this his cell phone?

J: Just picked it up.

D: hehehe.

J: If you drink it, you will scold others: "Why didn't your wife teach you?" ? How to buy what you see? "

D: Oh, this one sucks.

J: Are you kidding?

D: It conforms to the characteristics of our cross talk, which is a bit unexpected.

J: All foreign netizens send me emails.

D: so do foreign friends.

J: Tell jokes around him.

Well, what joke?

J: In foreign countries, young people drive on expressways.

D: Hmm.

J: mm-hmm Yeah, yeah. ...

D: driving on the highway.

J: Your wife is sitting next to you and your mother is sitting behind you.

Oh, the whole family.

Suddenly a policeman appeared: "Stop the car!"

D: Yo, what's the matter?

J: Pull over.

D: oh.

J: The policeman came forward and said, "Mr. Driver, congratulations, you are the millionth driver who passed our intersection. You got a bonus, 5 thousand yuan, this is a bonus! "

D: Hey, this driver is so lucky!

J: I'm so happy!

D: five thousand dollars!

J: Drink! The reporter next to him also interviewed: "Oh, you took 5,000 yuan. What are you going to do? "

What are you going to do?

J: "I'll get a driver's license first."

D: cut. And this doesn't have a driver's license yet?

The policeman came: "Give me the money and put your hands on the steering wheel!" " "

D: put it away.

J: "What's the matter with you? You driving without a license. "

D: exactly.

J: The lady next to me quickly explained, "Mr. Police, you must never listen to him. He talks nonsense when he drinks wine. "

D: That's still drunk driving!

J: "You call this a combined punishment for several crimes. Come down! Come down! "

Come down, both of you.

J: that's all right. I woke up my mother behind me.

D: oh.

J: When my son was taken out by the police, I quickly pushed the door and cried, "Hey, son, what am I talking about? Stolen cars can't run so fast! "

D: It's still a stolen car!

J: How about that?

D: Well, it's called combined punishment for three crimes.

J: That's right.

D: It also tells people what is illegal and what should not be done.

J: Even netizens in Taiwan Province Province wrote to me.

D: So do our own compatriots.

Hey, Jiang Kun, write you a cross talk.

D: you're welcome.

I promise to make you happy.

Really?

If you are unhappy,

D: ah.

J: I'll pay you 1000 RMB, with euros in brackets.

D: oh! What's new? What's new?

J: I think it's good

D: How to write this cross talk?

J: It's a story about a son asking his father questions.

What are you talking about?

Hey, dad, can you explain some words to us?

D: what's the word?

J: What is anger, what is anger, what is madness, and what is dumbfounding?

D: Oh, let father explain these four words.

J: His father said, I, I can't explain it.

D: Then what should I do?

J: Let me demonstrate.

D: can this still be done?

J: Watch this.

D: Let's have a look.

J: Pick up the phone and dial any number. I heard the other party say, "This is Lin Mansion. Who are you looking for? "

D: who are you looking for?

His father said, "I'm looking for Chow Yun Fat."

D: Looking for Chow Yun Fat?

J: When the other person is dumbfounded,

D: ah.

Um ... Do you understand?

D: ah.

J: "This is Lin Mansion." "Anyway, please help me find Chow Yun Fat." "Hey, you, do you understand Chinese? We are from Lin Mansion. "

D: right.

J: "I just want to find Chow Yun Fat."

D: Oh, that's persistent.

J: The other party answers in Tianjin dialect:

D: What's the answer?

J: "You are not sick!"

D: Yes, Huhu, why do all the local dialects speak it?

Then I said to my son,

D: ah.

J: Do you know what the other person is doing now?

What are you doing?

J: The other party is angry.

D: Oh, that's how he explained the anger.

J: right!

So what is anger?

J: What did the son ask about anger? Father picked up the phone again and dialed this number.

D: So was that one just now.

J: I just heard the other person say, "This is Lin Mansion. Who are you looking for? "

D: who are you looking for?

J: I want to find Chow Yun Fat!

D: here we go again.

J: "Hey, are you sick? What are you doing? What are you looking for? " "I just want to find Chow Yun Fat!" "Looking for your period! Hey! "

D: Oh, that's not civilized enough.

Kids,

D: ah.

J: The other party is angry now!

D: Ah, a little angry.

Hmm.

Well, what is madness?

My son asked what madness was. Father picked up the phone again and dialed this number.

D: still that?

J: As soon as the other party answered, he was anxious: "What's the matter with you? What do you do? Who are you? What are you going to do? " It's broken.

D: it's urgent.

At this moment, I heard his father say calmly, "Excuse me, is this the Lin residence?" The other party was stunned: "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Someone always made harassing phone calls just now. I have a bad attitude towards you. Who are you looking for? " "I am looking for Chow Yun Fat!"

D: wow!

With a bang, I dropped the phone.

D: ah. Needless to say, the other party is crazy.

Hey.

D: What do you mean by dumbfounding?

J: The child asked what laughter and crying meant.

D: Hmm.

J: Father picked up the phone again and dialed the phone number just now.

D: Do you still dial that?

J: The other party is furious: "What's the matter with you? You are harassing the family life of normal people. I want to call the police! "

D: It's really bad this time. People have to call the police.

At this moment, his father said quietly, "Well, this is Chow Yun Fat. Did someone ask for me just now? "

D: Huh? What's the other person's answer?

J: "Don't give me that. I have the caller ID number. I want to sue you! " ""huh? "

Well, what did you say this time?

J: "Son, there is nothing to say. Remember dad's tragic situation now? "

Johnson & Johnson company D: dumbfounding!