Just translate the article on the following website.

Well, that's ok. If you pay me, I will give you an accurate translation. This is just for reference.

There is nothing to complain about.

One day, Susan Lee was walking in the street when she saw her friend Wu Lisha. She hasn't seen her old friend for a while, so she said, "We have a lot to say. Let's have some tea and cake in this cafe. She pointed out going to a nearby coffee shop. Lisa agreed, so two friends walked into the cafe. " Susan ordered, "We want two cakes," she said, "and a pot of tea. The waitress noted down their order and walked away. She came back soon with a cake and a pot of tea. Susan saw at a glance that one cake was a little bigger than the others. However, she was very polite, picked up the board and handed it to Lisa. "There is a cake, Lisa," she said. "Thank you," said Lisa, "but then you". "No, no," said Susan. Please wait a moment. "Good," said Lisa, who bought two bigger cakes. "She said," This is very rude. " "Not all of them," Lisa answered. Tell me, if you took the cake before me, would you? "The small one, of course," said Susan. "It is. Well, you have a smaller one, so what's your complaint?

6. Farewell gifts

When Michael Ma died, his three good friends went to his funeral. They stood for a moment, looking down at their friend's grave. "He is a good friend," said the first man. "He is generous and kind. We give him some money to spend in the sky. " Two other friends agreed. They think it's a good idea. The first friend took out his wallet from his pocket, opened it and took out the bill of $ 100. Then, he was serious. The second friend didn't want the other two to think he was stingy, so he took out his wallet. "You're right," he said. "He always helps his friends. He deserves everything. He needs to live in his own environment. " Having said these words, he also solemnly threw 100 dollars into the bill. The third man looked at the other two and thought carefully for a few minutes. He doesn't want them to think he is stingy, but he really hates spending money recklessly. Then, he took out his checkbook and wrote "Check for 300 yuan". Then he examined it carefully. "I didn't get any change," he said, "but the check was $300, so I made you feel the same way."

7. It's worth buying

George is very stingy. He hates spending money. Whenever he has to buy something, he always argues about the price and tries to bargain, even the cheapest thing. For example, if he wants to buy a can of coke and asks the clerk about 2 yuan, George will say, "65,438 dollars +0.90 dollars, I'll take it". Sometimes the shopkeeper agrees to lower the price a little. "How much is 10 cent?" They ask themselves. If I can make this man happy, it won't hurt my heart very much. In this way, George saved a few cents here and a few cents there. By the end of this year, he had saved several hundred dollars. One day, he had a bad toothache and went to see a dentist. The dentist looked at the tooth and said, "This tooth will fall out. It's too bad, save it. " How much responsibility should I take for tooth extraction? "George asked for forty dollars," said the dentist. $40! George thinks it is too expensive. "How long will it take you to teethe? "He asked about two minutes," said the dentist. George can't believe this is a hearing. "Forty dollars, two minutes of work! "He shouted. This is robbery. The dentist smiled. Your rights. "She said thank you for telling me. I will slowly pull out your teeth. What if I spend an hour and a half?

8. Not funny

John Smith and his friend bill jones were shipped to a desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. They have enough fish and fruit to eat, but they haven't read it except a book full of jokes. Every joke is a number. At first, in order to kill time, John and Bill told jokes to each other, and then they told jokes from memory. A year later, they knew these jokes, so obviously, they just said how many jokes there were. "Twenty," John would say, and Bill would laugh. Then Bill might say, "75", and John would laugh. A day later, they had been on the island for many years, and another man was in the same boat with them. "How do you spend your time?" He asked them. "We tell jokes to each other." Bill said, handing over his joke book. "Tell us a joke," said John. The number has just been read. "All right," said the man. He looked forward to reading the book until he found a joke, which he thought was very interesting. This is number 83. "I found a good joke," he said. "Are you ready?" ? "Yes," said Bill and John. "Yes," said the man. "Well, this is. 83 " 。 John and Bill just looked at the man. They have no expression on their faces. None of them are perfect. "Why don't you laugh? : "The man asked. "It's good that you don't say it," said Bill.

9. This is the right employment tool.

When his youngest son was ill, Mr. Wei took him to the clinic. They are the first patient's day, so don't wait too long. The nurse took the boy to the doctor's room while Mr. Wei waited outside. A few minutes later, the doctor came out of his room and went to the nurse. "Do we have a screwdriver?" He asked her. Nurse, look, I found a screwdriver in the drawer. She listed the doctors and he went back to his room. A few minutes later, he came out again. "I need more than half," he said to the nurse at this time. The nurse looked in the drawer again. She found more than half of the doctors. He went back to his room. A few minutes later, the doctor came out of his room for the third time. "I need a hammer." He said. The third time, the nurse took care of it in the drawer. She found the hammer and its doctor. Mr. Wei can't keep silent at this time. Forgive me. He said, "But what happened to my son? What are you doing here with you? " "I haven't studied him yet, but" said the doctor. I'm still trying to open my bag

10. Full payment

One day, a bus stopped at a tourist attraction, and all the passengers transferred to Tonton and entered a nearby restaurant. One of them went up to the manager and said, "Good morning. I asked. Tom Wilkins. These people are all patients in the city mental hospital. They have their annual bus trip. They will all do well, but there is a small problem. They will be willing to pay for the bottle caps of food and drinks. I will ask them to be allowed to do so that I can get the bill before we just left. The manager wanted to help, so he said, "This will be a fine, Mr. Chairman. I hope you all enjoy your stay in my restaurant. All patients sit down. They ordered food and drinks and performed well. No one knows that their patient is in a mental hospital. At the end of last year, after dinner, each of them paid with a bottle cap. Then they left the restaurant and came back to get on the bus. Tom Wilkins was promoted to manager. "You have been in the most physical," he said, "and understanding. I want to pay the bill now. The manager added that everything the patient ordered was given to Tom Wilkins. It brings a lot of money. " "It's a fair price," said Tom. "I'm happy to pay. Did you change it to six bottles?

1 1. Wrong question.

One day, when Jack was walking in the park, he saw a woman. He knew that he was sitting in the chair next to the dog. The dog is looking at the woman. Jack stood up and said to the woman, "Hello, Sue, how are you?" ? Maybe sit with me, with you, and "?

Sure, have a seat. Sue said. Jack sat down, and Sue next to him presided over the meeting. They talked quietly together. The dog still watches, and then looks up at Sue, because if you wait for something to eat.

"This is a good dog," said Jack, looking at the animals.

Yes, his kindness, his stability and health.

"Hungry," said Jack. He didn't take his eyes off you. He thought you prepared food for him.

"It's true," the prosecution said, "but I didn't."

Two friends laughed, and then Jack said, "Excuse me, did your dog bite me?" ?

"No," said Sue. No one around him has been bitten.

Hearing this, Jack decided to touch the dog. He moved his hand and touched the animal's head. Where I used to jump with him.

Hey! Jack shouted. You said he wouldn't bite.

"No, he doesn't," Sue answered. "You ask me, my dog is a bit, I said no, this is not my dog. My dog is at home. "

12. Bananas are bad for you.

Pearl River Delta and June are good friends respectively, and they spend most of their time together.

They are all very old. They are worried about their health. Most of the time they don't talk about anything.

They are worried about their food. Is it clean? Will this relieve their stomachache?

They are worried about the weather. Is it too cold and wet? Will it hurt them to the bone marrow?

They are worried about the polluted air. Will this bring pain to their chest and throat?

They are worried about being injured in car accidents, dying in plane crashes, getting sick, and so on.

All they can think about is being abused or hurt.

One day, they went on a train trip together.

"We need some food," Pearl said.

"We will buy some bananas," said Joan. They are delicious and always clean.

So they bought two bananas to eat on the train.

Not long ago, they were starving.

Pearl takes out bananas for January to June. Then peel her skin, her banana and bite it.

Then the train entered the tunnel. Everything is black. "Don't eat your banana," cried Pearl in June. Mine! I'm blind!

13. recruits

One day, in the old American west, a little man suddenly rushed into a hotel. It's full of men, drinking and chatting.

The little man was very scared.

"Big John's future," he shouted. Run for your life!

Everyone immediately put down the Hong Kong Bar Association, the hiding place of their drunken out-of-control hotel bartenders.

Everyone heard what big John said and was afraid of him.

Not long ago, the door of the hotel opened and the big man came in.

He is taller and fatter than two people combined, and he has two guns on his hip.

With something the size of a shovel in his hand, a thick black beard and evil forward-looking eyes are discerning.

He stood at the door, looked around the room, and then slowly walked to his bar association in Hong Kong.

"beautiful! Beautiful! " With the sound, his foot stepped on the floor.

The bartender began to waver when he heard him coming.

The man found a lawyer. He tilted it and looked down at the bartender who shook his head.

He took a deep breath. The bartender is sure that he has arrived in the past hour.

Then, the man shook the whole room with a deep, loud voice.

"You must leave here better," he said. Big John is here.

14. Take the wrong medicine

A farmer has a very precious cow. He takes good care of the sunshine in Niu Yi. When someone is sick, he feels very worried. Call his auditor.

"What kind of question?" The vet asked him when he arrived.

"My cow is very ill," said the farmer. "I don't know what kind of things she has. She lay down and refused to stand up. She doesn't eat and makes strange noises. "

Veterinarians look after cows.

She must be ill, he said. They should make her better.

"How should I get them to tell her?" Asked the farmer.

The vet gave him a long tube.

"Put this tube in her mouth," he said. "Then put the pills in the tube and hit them, which will make her turn the pills yellow."

Veterinary travel distance.

The next day, he came to the farm. The farmer sat outside his house, looking miserable.

Why your cow? The vet asked.

"Nothing has changed," said the Hall of Fame. "I feel very strange." .

"Oh?" The vet said, "Why"?

"I have nothing, you say," explained the farmer. "I put the tube in the cow's mouth and then put two pills down.

"and"? The vet asked.

"The cow explodes first," said the farmer.

15. Some are in the ear.

One morning, a woman woke up with a disease in her ear. The pain was so severe that she went to see a doctor.

She had to wait for a long time in the doctor's waiting room because he was very busy.

Although she is waiting for pain, the situation is getting worse and worse.

A string began to grow in her ear.

He was very surprised when the doctor saw her.

"It seems that a rope has come out of your ear," he said.

He began to pull the rope carefully. He took out a rope inch by inch and told it to her. I won't go any further.

"There seems to be something at the end of the rope," said the doctor. It's harder for me to quit.

He started to pull hard, but the pain was so severe that the woman told him to stop.

"I want to point out that it is in your ear," the doctor told her. I'll give you something to help you sleep when I can come out.

The doctor gave the woman artificial respiration, and soon she fell into a deep sleep state.

He called his nurse to help him and set up a bridge with them.

Suddenly there was a voice, and a big bunch of roses came in and out of the woman's ear.

The doctor was very surprised. He has never seen such a thing before.

When the woman woke up, he said, "I took out a big bunch of roses from your ear." Do you know where they come from? "

Do they have cards? The woman asked him.