Give a big joke!

1, a: "Why are you so tall? You are over 1.7 meters tall. Your parents are so tall? " B: "No, my parents are only over 1.6 meters." A: "Oh ~ the gene has mutated ~" B suddenly became anxious and shouted: "Where has it mutated?" My uncle is one meter eight! "

Father and son were sleeping when they heard the newlyweds make a scene next door. Because the sound insulation effect is not good, the son asked, "Dad, what is this noise?" Dad calmly replied: "this is Japanese, you will understand when you grow up!" " "

3. The four most vicious spells in the history of China are: weeding at noon, hematopoietic stem cells, riverside scene on Qingming Festival and compound grass coral. ...

There was an old enemy who called other people's children since childhood. The other child never plays games or talks about QQ. He knows how to study every day. He is very good-looking and obedient. He went back to the first grade. He has a rich boyfriend, a graduate student and an admitted civil servant. He earns 7,000 yuan a month, can cook, do housework and speak eight foreign languages. Studying abroad for one month is too much.

5. In this lonely world, except 10086 will send messages to me, except 10086 will answer my phone call immediately and care about my phone bill, except 10086 will send blessings every season, except 10086 will be 24 hours.

6. In order to prove that the spider's hearing is on the foot, the expert made an experiment. He first put a spider on the experimental platform, and then shouted at the spider, and the spider scared away! ! ! Then I grabbed the spider back, cut off all its feet and yelled at the spider. The spider really didn't move! ! ! So the expert published a paper, which proved that the spider's hearing is on the foot.

7. Shenzhen Development Bank launched a female-themed credit card with the slogan "I want to develop with you". Some busybodies added: "Everbright won't do."

8. The first cold joke in human history: In ancient times, two monkeys were walking on the road. Walking, one said, "Hey, why are we standing?" After a while, another man turned around and said, "... aren't we monkeys?" "How can you talk? "

9. I am a senior three student. One day, I was alone in the dormitory watching H movies, and my roommate pushed the door and came in. I quickly minimized and pretended to be playing games. He gave me a look and said simply that four years later, our brothers still failed to treat each other as brothers.

10, a couple, after years of hard work, bought a villa with sea view. Because of the great pressure to repay the mortgage, I still have to go out early and return late every day. However, what his nanny does most every day is sunbathing, watching the sea and drinking coffee with his dog on the balcony. ...

1 1, the signature of a netizen: I wish him how old he is, and he will live as many points as the teacher gives me. As a result, an awesome person in the class added some words before and after the horizontal line filled in by the teacher on the test paper, which became "Teacher, I wish you live to _ _ _ _ _ _".

12, I received a short message: "Today 15: 3 1, my wife is going to sleep with someone else's husband. I have to wait happily for washing, changing clothes and taking a bath, and I have to ask him to take a gun." After reading it, I can't understand it. When I saw the sender, my god, there was such good news of giving birth!

13, a netizen: I was a virgin for 2 1 year, and it finally became 22 years the night before yesterday …

14, "Wife, you are the cutest person I have ever seen! ~ ""Trojan horse! ~ Husband, I like you who have never seen the world ... "

15, final exam of law department: "Please illustrate the difference between' law' and' law' in the word law?" The anonymous student replied, "Of course not. My mother will be very happy if I tell her that my boyfriend is a lawyer. " If I say my boyfriend is a mage, she will definitely kill me. "

16, my wife called her husband as a programmer: "Buy a catty of steamed stuffed bun and bring it back from work. When you see a watermelon seller, buy one. " That night, the programmer's husband came into the house with a steamed bun in his hand ... The wife said angrily, "Why did you buy steamed buns?" ! "The husband replied," Because I saw the watermelon seller. "

17, the art teacher asked the students: "Why hand in a blank sheet of paper?" . The student said, "I drew it! I painted cows eating grass. " The teacher asked, "What about the grass?" He said, "It was eaten by a cow." The teacher asked, "What about the cow?" He said, "Eat the grass and go."