What jokes make you laugh until you cramp?

What are some jokes that make you cramp? Seeing this question and answer, I immediately recalled a book I read when I was a child, Witness the Strange Situation of Old Shanghai in Twenty Years. It is no exaggeration to say that the poor image of a "gentle man" is vividly portrayed in the book. Sister Xiang will share the wonderful part with you now.

In other words, there were many teahouses in old Shanghai, where ordinary citizens and some literati liked to chat. Order a bowl of tea and two biscuits, and you can chat with your friends and old customers for hours. In the meantime, there was a "shabby" scholar who drank tea alone (at that time, most of the coffee tables were square tables made of binbin boards, with seams between them). The shabby scholar drank slowly and chewed carefully. An hour later, he finished his tea and baked wheat cakes. Some biscuits fell on the table, and some even fell into the gap of the table. It would be impolite to pick up the sesame seed cake that fell on the table and eat it directly. The scholar pretends to practice calligraphy very diligently. He dipped his forefinger in saliva to write on the desktop and practice calligraphy. While practicing calligraphy, he kept dipping in water until he dipped all the sesame seeds that had fallen on the table in saliva and ate them with his fingers. His brilliant and gentle performance made people laugh. What's more, he ate all the sesame seeds that fell into the gap in the table. Pretending to be thinking, he suddenly slapped the table hard, so that the pieces of baked wheat cake jumped out of the gap in the table, and then continued to practice writing with his fingers dipped in saliva, and repeated this several times until all the pieces of baked wheat cake that fell into the gap in the table were eliminated.

And every time he goes out to visit his friends, he uses lard to smooth the edges of his sleeves and mouth. Because in old Shanghai, all the people who could eat meat were rich. The difference between rich and poor mainly depends on cuffs and mouth. If the cuffs and mouth are shiny, it proves that you often eat meat. Eating meat often proves that you have money. Readers may ask, what is the relationship between shiny cuffs and the poor and the rich? Yes, yes, because in old Shanghai, you used cuffs to wipe your mouth after dinner. If you eat too much meat and rub too much, your sleeves will naturally light up. You poor people can't eat meat, and vegetables are oily and don't shine. This is the difference between the poor and the rich. This poor scholar is so good at pretending to be rich!

I want to take this opportunity to tell you a true story about the planned economy in the 1960s. This story will make people laugh, and now people will find it incredible.

It is said that in the late 1960s, elderly people knew that they needed tickets for everything, such as cloth tickets for cloth, food stamps for food (and food stamps for eating in restaurants), soap and soap tickets, so don't unplug them. No way, most people can't enjoy them. I have a kid from the same village whose father is the county material director. It is common for his family to use soap. In order to show his special status, my little friend stopped washing his head with soap every time, and then walked around the village. The children smelled the fragrance on his head and praised him. The envious eyes made the child very proud. It's funny to think about it now.

Readers, you may not have experienced that kind of life. After the reform and opening up, the productive forces have been liberated, and today's materials are extremely rich. We want to thank Deng, cherish the achievements of reform and opening up and do our part for the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation.