Ask for some hilarious jokes,

I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a short message: "Let's break up!" " Before I could feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message: "Sorry, I sent it wrong." This can be very sad. ...

A mental patient screamed: I am the president, and you all have to listen to me. The attending doctor asked him: Who said that? Patient: God said. A patient next to him jumped up at once: I never said that!

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

There is a stronger dream. One night, I suddenly woke up and heard someone talking nonsense-five minutes later Yi Dexian helped me get on the horse (Romance of the Three Kingdoms)-a good start. I wonder who will cut it? (Romance of Sui and Tang Dynasties) Five minutes later-Xiao Li's flying knife really deserves its reputation! (Xiao Li flies the knife) Five minutes later-another dimension! (If I remember correctly, it should be a saint) Five minutes later-hum, hey hey, wow, hahaha (according to my guess, it may be San Xiao in Ba Shen ...) I really want to know what his dream is.

A friend's classmate, who wanted to pick up a MM in the evening self-study, went up and asked, "Classmate, what time is it?" MM looked at her watch and said, "Half past eight." The fellow looked surprised and said, "Ah, it's half past eight by my watch. Do you think we are predestined friends? " ? ! "

The ant married the elephant, but the elephant died a few days later. The ant was so sad that he cried and scolded, "Dear, why did you walk in front of me?" I don't have to do anything else in my life, so I'll bury you. "

The golfer accidentally hit the ball on an ant hill. He swung hard at the ball, but missed, but killed many ants. He hit the ball with his second swing and missed, killing more ants. "Come, come with me!" An ant shouted to his panicked companion, "As long as we can climb that ball, we will be safe."

What to see

Woman: "What are you looking at?"

Man: "Your eyes."

Woman: "It seems more than once."

Man: "Do you know why?"

Woman: (with a charming smile) …

Man: "Because you have me in your eyes!" " "

God loves you.

Moonlight night, in the park.

Girl: "No woman is more unfortunate than me, and no one loves me."

Young man: "But there are people who love you very much."

Girl: "Ah, who is it?" Hold the young man's hand at the same time.

Young man: "God!"

lags in response

On the park bench, a pair of lovers snuggled up.

The man asked, "May I kiss you?"

The woman did not answer.

The man asked again, "Can you let me kiss you?"

The woman still doesn't answer.

The man is angry: "Hey, are you deaf?" "

The woman cried and said, "Are you dead?"

Reasons for liking

The mother is talking with her son about his girlfriend. Mother asked, "What is she doing?"

What likes you? "

"It's very simple," the son said modestly. "She thinks I'm handsome and capable.

Dry, smart, interesting ... "

"Then why do you like her?"

"I just like that she thinks I'm handsome, capable, smart and funny."

Yuan Huan

A: "I was introduced to a blind date ten times in a row and finally met one."

Destiny takes a hand. "

B: "decree by destiny? How to say it? "

A: "He is my first blind date."

Go home and get pajamas

One day, a young man went to his girlfriend's house to play and got up when he left.

It rained heavily, so his girlfriend advised him to stay for the night, and then she went to prepare the bedding. wait for

When she was ready to go out, her boyfriend had already left. More than an hour.

Later, the whole body was drenched like a wet boy, and his

The girlfriend was surprised and asked, "Where have you been?"

The young man panted and replied, "I ... I'll go home and get it."

I'll change my pajamas. "

Such a date

A shy young man told his mother that he was going to the same aunt.

Mom's date.

Half an hour later, he came back.

Mom asked, "How's it going?"

"Very smooth."

"Have you seen her?"

"Of course," he giggled, "but what if?

If I don't hide behind the big tree, she will see me, too. "

Dark indication

An old maid said to her new boyfriend, "I had a dream last night."

See you propose to me. "

"How to express it?"

"I accept your proposal."

take a risk

A young man walked behind a girl and covered her eyes with his hand.

The eyes said, "If you can't guess who I am, let me kiss you. quick

Say three names! "

"Louis XVI? ..... wrong? Victor hugo? ..... take it.

Broken LUN? Still wrong? Then you win! "

Watch it for a while.

A young man went to visit his girlfriend at her house. Girlfriend parents deliberately avoided.

Open, let them fall in love alone in the living room. When they kissed,

Later, the young man found his girlfriend's little sister standing at the door watching curiously.

Look at that.

"Little sister, you go to sleep. I'll give you a silver dollar." The year of birth.

Zi said.

My little sister ran away without asking for money. After a while,

She came back and said, "I have a silver dollar. Let me watch it for a while. "

Ideal lover

A girl is chatting with her girlfriend. She said, "If my two

It's good to combine the advantages of lovers-Xiao Zhao is rich, handsome and handsome.

Harmonic wave; Xiao Li wants to marry me. "

Cleverly juggle

In the corner of the park, a young man wants to kiss his girlfriend.

But the woman pushed him away and said, "No, I can't do this before I get married."

Do it! "

"So, I'll leave you my phone number, please contact after marriage.

Let me know. "

Friendship between generations

A man said to his new girlfriend, "If you insist.

Tell me your age, so I have to tell others that you are a friend who has forgotten the year. "

blow/throw a kiss (at)

The angry father scolded his daughter, "Clara, why are you in a big school?"

Blow a kiss to that strange young man in public? What a pity! "

"Why? He blows me a kiss first, if I don't let it go.

Throw it back. Do you want me to keep it? "

I don't know

The girl asked her boyfriend who was nearly fifty years old, "Honey, how many do you have?"

Years old, you look very young. "

Boyfriend: "I don't know. You are as old as you say. "

Girl: "Then when were you born?"

Boyfriend: "When I was born, I was very confused. Who knows which one? "

Years! "

lower the standard

Woman: "You have good conditions in all aspects. Why didn't you find a woman before? "

Friends? "

Man: "Because my eyes are too high."

Woman: "Then I am honored to be your girlfriend now."

Man: "No, but now I lower my eyes."

marry

The father and son had a fierce quarrel over their son's marriage.

At this time, the son's mother came in to stop the fight. The son took his mother,

Say, "Mom, I have never interfered in your marriage, but why should Dad interfere?"

Why do you always interfere in my marriage? ! "

Enthusiastic you

A man asked after donating blood, "Is my blood warm?"

Really? "

The nurse nodded yes. The man added, "Give me a certificate."

Really? "

The nurse looked at him doubtfully. The man explained, "My girlfriend often scolds me.

I am a cold-blooded animal. I want to prove to her that I am not! "

jump

"Xiao Chen, tell me, what's the progress of your relationship with Lily?

Really? "

"No .. whenever I tell her that I love her, she quickly puts

Let's talk about marriage again "

Obey mother's instruction.

Woman: "Mom always told me that no matter what you ask me before you get married.

Yao, I should answer' no'. "

Man (thinking): "Do you mind if I shake your hand?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "Don't you object to my kissing you?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "So, you won't refuse to have sex with us, will you?"

Woman: "No."

Man: "ah! Long live your mother! "

A virgin's heart

Daughter: "Mom, there are always a few men on my way."

Stare at me. "

Mother: "Well, why not go the other way?"

Daughter: "if you change the road, there will be no one!" " "

The key (to accomplish sth)

A: "Hello! How was your date with your girlfriend yesterday? "

B: "Half the battle."

A: "What do you mean?"

B: "I went, but she didn't."

Come in through the wall

The father said to his daughter's suitor, "I didn't tell you not to do it again."

Into my house? "

"Sorry, I came over the wall this time, hee hee!"

well-wish

Jack, a bachelor in his forties, is describing his beauty to his friends.

Wish: "... a young, beautiful, gentle and virtuous person as soon as he comes back from work."

My wife stood in front of me, with delicious food and wine on the table ... you said there was this.

Is it possible? "

"yes."

"When will there be?"

"When you go to the wrong door."