What about introversion?

First of all, we should think about why a person is introverted and afraid of society. What is the reason?

The essence of introverted social phobia is that I am afraid that others will hurt me, and then I will become very concerned about what others think of me, and I am afraid that I will say something wrong, so I am afraid to speak in social life.

When talking to people, because our subconscious mind is afraid of others, we will turn most of our computing power into thinking: "What will he think of me if I say this?" Then it will be afraid to talk about it, and most of its computing power will be spent on it, so it won't have the computing power to think about what you think of things in chat, and then you won't know what to say.

After understanding the essence, this problem will be solved easily. Why should we fear others? As long as what I say is normal, others will not attack me, and there is no reason to attack me. If he dares to attack me, he is wrong. Just fight back. The reason is on our side. We are not afraid of him.

A few years ago, I was introverted, and I was afraid to talk to a relative. I didn't expect her to call me a fool in front of me. I was angry and thought I was afraid of her. I didn't expect her to say I looked like a fool. Think of it, many people used to judge me after watching my cringe, and found that most of them thought I was quiet and a little stupid. I'm afraid of them, but they think I'm stupid! At that moment, I realized: I can't be afraid of them anymore. They will only treat me like a fool and say whatever they want. No matter how much, they will think that you are talkative and smart.

Once we are fearless, the subconscious will naturally relax and will not waste the computing power of the brain on whether I said something wrong. The subconscious will use the computing power of the brain in our view of things during the chat, which will make your thinking smooth and you can express your thoughts happily. Slowly, you will become an extrovert.

The process of this change may not be so fast. You can tell the subconscious when chatting that others are free to talk and are not afraid of me at all. Then why should I be afraid of him? He is not afraid of me, and I am afraid of him, so I am purely wronged. This is not good and unfair! All men are created equal, and everything is fair. He is not afraid of me, so I can't be afraid of him. After the subconscious mind relaxes, you can chat with others smoothly. Sometimes I will talk about topics of mutual interest, which will be very pleasant and will give me great encouragement. As you chat successfully and successfully again and again, you will gradually indulge in this feeling, prompting you to do more. After you get into the habit, you will become an extrovert.

Extroverts speak simply. They only have a few ways of speaking. The first way is to reuse the same word, which is often used for greeting and chatting. For example, when you meet colleagues, you can say a few words or ask a few daily expressions, most of which are the same, which can save time in finding topics.

For example, if you meet a colleague and don't want to talk more, just say hello. If I want to say something, I will say, "Have you eaten?"

Colleague said, "Not yet."

I said, "Then go and eat."

I believe this is the most frequently used sentence, which is very simple and easy to use. What is the function of this greeting? The function is to show friendship to each other. We know each other is friendly, so we will feel very safe. )

Give a few more greetings and chats that most people use repeatedly:

When I met my colleague, I said, "Good morning."

Colleague said, "Good morning."

I said, "It's so cold today."

Colleague: "Yes, the temperature has dropped these days."

I said, "You don't seem to be wearing much."

Colleague: "Fortunately, these clothes are no longer cold."

Another example is meeting another colleague.

I asked, "Where did you go during the weekend holiday?"

Colleague: "I went out to play, and went to Jinshan Park to play."

I asked, "The scenery there should be very good."

Colleague: "not bad, the scenery inside is really good." We played in it all afternoon. "

For example, you can also praise each other:

I said, "The clothes you are wearing today are very nice."

The other party smiled and said, "Really."

I said, "This dress makes you look young."

Extroverts' second way of speaking is to ask questions related to each other, and they will be interested. People will always be interested in things related to themselves, and then you will get familiar with them.

For example, I said, "This dress of yours is really nice. Where did you buy it? "

……

For example, I said, "You have lost weight recently. What's the secret? "

……

Friend: "I recently bought a BYD car with xxx configuration and good performance, balabala."

I said, "I also want to buy a car recently. Is there any recommendation? "

……

Friend: "I have three dogs at home."

I said, "I have one at home. What is your third variety? "

……

Most introverts fall into a misunderstanding that speaking is only used to solve problems. Speech is not only used to solve problems, but also to communicate emotions. Each of us has the need to communicate our feelings. The third way for extroverts to speak is not to seek to solve any problems, but to share their experiences, feelings and opinions. They have no purpose in speaking, just want to say it and share what they are thinking with the people next to them. In a relaxed atmosphere, the distance between the two will naturally narrow.

Tell your own experiences and feelings:

For example, I said, "It's so hot today."

Friend: "Yes, 30 degrees."

I said, "I saw a news yesterday that Hunan was dry and there was not enough water for agriculture."

……

I said, "I heard someone gave birth to a son."

……

I said, "I won't stay up late to catch the play in the future." I watched TV series very late yesterday, and I got dizzy this morning. "

Friend: "really pay attention, lack of sleep time is very harmful to your health, and you will lose your hair."

……

I said, "You know, there is a dress I like very much. I've watched it several times, waiting for a discount. But not today. Too depressing. "

Friend: "Really? What does that dress look like and why do you like it so much? "

I said, "The black jacket suits me very well, and it goes well with the pants I bought last time."

Friend: "You were dressed in black last week, too. You look and feel elegant. Is there any difference between this dress and last week's? "

……

Give your opinion:

For example, I was walking down the street with a friend and I said, "These two cars look good. Silver has a luxurious feeling. I will buy a silver car in the future. "

Friend: "It is better to buy a car by bus. Do you know how much it will cost to buy a car? "

I said, "I have to pay the insurance premium every year to buy a car, and the other is the gas fee." I heard that oil prices have risen a lot recently. "

……

I said, "Documentaries in Chai Jing are quite popular recently. I feel quite good. "

Friend: "I saw it too. It's so touching, Barabara .................... "

As can be seen from the above examples, extroverts do not seek to solve any problems, but only share their experiences, feelings and opinions. They speak without a purpose, just want to speak out and share their thoughts with the people next to them. In a relaxed atmosphere, the distance between the two will naturally narrow.

For example, when I see a car, I can say what I think of these two cars;

Seeing this tree, I can say what I think of it.

Think of the story I heard the other day, and you can talk about it with your friends.

When I think of my opinion on an event, I can talk about my opinion on this event.

The fourth way for extroverts to speak is to communicate while chatting. For example, if I see a pen, how can I keep chatting through it? First of all, I can talk about the pen itself, refill, price and beauty. Then we can think of it. Don't just say this pen, think about something else. For example, I can think of what a pen is for. A pen can write or talk about writing. You can also talk about writing as a child, practicing calligraphy as a child, and talking about childhood memories. There are many topics to talk about.

It doesn't matter if I forget what happened when I was a child. What else can I do with a pen? I can also write novels. Novels can be online novels, masterpieces, and any plot details can be discussed. Novels can also be adapted into TV series, such as My Husband by Guo Qilin. He is a crosstalk performer, and his father is Degang Guo. We can also talk about interesting things, cross talk, comedies and talk shows. Speaking of comedy, natural entertainment variety shows come out. So some new works and interesting stories by artists like Jia Ling and Shen Teng can also be told. So you see, the source is just a pen, but we can talk about so many things through conversation and association.

Me: Have you eaten?

Sister: Yes.

Me: I just finished eating, too. What did you eat?

Sister: Beef noodles

Me: Beef noodles are good. I usually like them too. Did you make it yourself?

Sister: I can't cook. I bought it.

Me: Cooking, very simple, is to cook or fry the dishes, and then add a little soy sauce and seasoning. (Never know how to cook and how to cook)

Sister: I don't want to do it. My mother used to cook.

Me: I used to be. If you can't cook and your future husband can't cook, you can only order takeout or go to a restaurant every day. (From the past to the future)

Sister: I haven't decided to get married yet.

Me: Your mother loves you very much. (related to mom)

Sister: My mother loves me very much. I am the youngest. Of course it will hurt me.

Me: Are you the youngest? Do you have any brothers or sisters? (From the youngest, think of brothers and sisters)

Sister: My sister, blablabla…… ... ...

Me: Then your sister is also excellent, with such good grades. blablabla…… ...

At this point, we can go back to the "marriage" in the previous conversation and chat. I said, haven't you decided what kind of person you want to marry?

Sister: I haven't decided yet, blablabla…… ... ...

Me: What's your standard? (I haven't thought about what the standard is)

Sister: My standard is blablabla…… ... ...

Me: Your standards are not low. Most people are afraid that it will be difficult to meet your standards, blabla…… ... ...

At this time, if I find that what she said can't be related to anything, it doesn't matter. I can go back to the previous chat and say "I bought all the beef noodles" and start chatting.

Me: Do you like shopping? Do you like shopping?

Sister: Yes, I like it very much.

Me: I seldom go out shopping. I like playing games online at home, blabla…… ... ...

Me: What else do you like?

Sister: I like singing, swimming and traveling.

Me: Oh, you like singing. Whose song do you like to sing?

Sister: blablabla…… ... ...

Me: I like Vae songs, too. My favorite song in high school is Vae, blabla…… ... ...

Me: You like swimming. How is your swimming skill?

Sister: blablabla…… ... ...

Me: Then you learn quickly. I just learned to swim in junior high school and suffered a lot, blabla…… ... ...

Me: You like traveling. Where have you traveled?

Sister: blablabla…… ... ...

Me: I've been to the seaside, too. It is comfortable to play on the beach by the sea. The sand is so delicate and soft that you can roll freely on it, blablabla…… ...

You will find that during the whole chat, you have not prepared any topics, because the chat itself will bring you countless topics. You don't need to prepare, you can start chatting anytime and anywhere.