If a person is lazy, he will be invincible

In ancient jokes and folk jokes, there are simply too many records about lazy people.

That lazy man, his mother hung the baked pancake around his neck and went out to visit relatives. When she came back, she found that her son was starving to death. It turned out that when the cake in his mouth was finished, he was too lazy to turn the cake circle, so he had to starve to death.

Another lazy man, his wife asked him to buy a chopping board to chop vegetables. He was too lazy to go and said, just cut it on my back. The cut was bloody and torn, and his wife asked him if it hurt. He said, why doesn't it hurt? "Then why don't you shout?" "I'm too lazy to shout."

I thought the level of laziness between these two people was at its peak. Those who are willing to use their lives to fulfill the reputation of the "lazy world" are not something ordinary people can do.

Recently, a friend of mine, Xiao Gao, told anecdotes about several rising stars in the lazy world in their company. The waves ahead make it impossible for anyone to catch up. All I know is that the senior is invincible, but today it looks ordinary.

How were these lazy stars discovered? You know, these lazy guys only want to hide their merit and fame, and they don't bother to show it to others!

Due to a fire in an Internet cafe in a certain place, the city requested a large-scale investigation to identify all fire hazards.

Several policemen from the police station arrived at Xiaogao's company and made an appointment with the company's personnel department, publicity department and dormitory administrators to inspect the workers' dormitories. The results were jaw-dropping and jaw-dropping. Many people live in dog kennels that are difficult to get out of and the smell is overwhelming. Dirty clothes and sundries were the same color, smelly socks and cigarette ashes were flying together.

Entering a room, the floor was covered with cigarette butts. There were hundreds of dogs, large and small, decorating the floor in a mess. Everyone uses tiles and boards to lay the floor. Do you want to use cigarette butts to lay the floor?

Entering another room, the floor was filled with wine bottles. Comrades in the police and company entourage were not allowed to take a step. Once they stepped on them, they would be filled with bottles. Unless you had the skills of an acrobat, the fall would be ugly. Dude, are you drinking, or is the wine drinking you? Are you taking a bath with wine?

It’s nothing to do with these two things. The final "Five Lazy People" are quite comparable to the "Five Elders of the Beggar Clan" written by Gu Long.

Let’s talk about the fifth lazy man first. This man is a middle-aged man and can be regarded as an old worker. His story is that in the six years since he moved into the dormitory, his quilt cover has never been washed. In the past six years, his quilt cover has been ravaged to the point of being miserable. The original background color cannot be verified, and the current color is impossible to distinguish. Coupled with the 6 years of body odor infiltration and sweat erosion, it is true that the smell is smelled before the person arrives. It makes people hide their noses and stay away. Later, the company executives heard about his story and forced him to wash his quilt. At the same time, he was very worried: Could it have polluted our river water?

At the bedside of this middle-aged worker, everyone found a black shadow the size of a washbasin, which was very eye-catching on the white wall. A shiny black piece, I wonder what it is for? Later, when I asked him, I found out that this guy was leaning on the bed watching TV. Over time, the back of his head rubbed a stain on the head of the bed. It was dark, greasy, and reflected light, as if the black covering the head of the bed. sun. 6 years of hard work is really a lot of work, even a white wall can transform your face.

Let’s look at the fourth laziness. This person is a man in his thirties. Lazy people prefer to have a good time, drinking tea. But I have another hobby, which is dumping leftover tea leaves on the ground. Don't put it in the trash can, flush it down the drain, or cover it with soil in flower pots. Just tilt it casually and the tea roots will settle on the floor. Yesterday, the day before yesterday, last week, and last month, the moisture has long been dried, leaving only dry thin stems and leaves, which are densely spread on the floor. This is using tea leaves instead of floor tiles. As soon as the inspection personnel set foot on the tea floor, they felt like a forest in late autumn, with fallen leaves everywhere, soft and soft underfoot, and a crisp snapping sound. To achieve this foot feeling, you need to accumulate leftover tea roots for at least a year or two, right? It's rare for a man to have the patience to do one thing tirelessly for a long time and do it to the extreme. Is it easy for him?

The third laziness. This man is twenty years old. When the police uncle came to his bedroom, he found that he had placed two beds side by side.

One of the beds was fully covered with mattresses and quilts. The other bed next to it had no quilts, but was filled with used milk bottles, used lunch boxes, empty cigarette boxes, and disposable chopsticks scattered across the bed. The ground is littered with garbage, including various food wrappers, various bottle caps, various melon seed peels, peanut shells, orange peels, fruit cores...

It turns out that the purpose of this person setting up another bed is to throw away Rubbish. He lay on the bed, finished eating and drinking, and threw the garbage on the bed next to him. There was no room for piles on the bed, so they were scattered on the ground all around.

This young man, you have been sleeping with garbage for so long, haven’t you left a place for your future wife? Besides, if this garbage has not been disposed of for a long time, the sour and refreshing smell is really strong. If you fall asleep with the strong smell, won't there be nightmares bothering you? What a strong nose you have, or what a strong heart you have?

The second laziest. This person is also a young worker in his twenties. As soon as the inspector entered his bedroom, he was stunned by the three stacked beds. Two large beds are placed side by side below, and there is a small bed across the top. Is this a floor made of beds? How can I sleep like this?

Don't be impatient, don't be impatient, the mountain people have a clever plan.

He got in from the gap under the crib and lay down on the bed. As a result, the following strange image is formed: one person is sleeping on the bed, and another single bed is hanging on his waist, flying in the air.

Brother, this is unnecessary, but why? It turns out that this guy loves playing computer games. This single bed can be used as a computer desk. After get off work, I sit in bed and play games. The computer is placed on the huge "computer desk". When I feel sleepy and tired, I fall asleep. When I wake up, I sit up and play again. He was quite experienced at playing "sit-ups". When he got tired from playing the game, he would "lie on his back", fall asleep, "sit-up" and continue playing.

What kind of combination is a brain with fantastic ideas and a body that is surprisingly lazy? Did God fall asleep when he created man? In order to save this little physical energy, how much brain power did your brother have to spend to come up with this clever trick? Perhaps, for this bright mind, it happened in the blink of an eye. If so, we can only sigh.

Dang dang dang, the first one appears. This young man is not very young, but he has won the title of No. 1 in the world of laziness. It is gratifying to congratulate him.

The inspection team stood at the door of his room and saw money all over the ground. Yes, you read that right, money for one place. They are all change of one yuan and fifty cents, not scattered here and there, but all over the mountains and plains.

Of course, there are also the dirty clothes and smelly socks piled up in the corner, otherwise how could it be worthy of the title of NO.1?

Is this a young master from a wealthy family who came here to work and study? Or do you have too much money to put down, so you have to use the floor as your wallet?

It turns out that every time this guy took something out of his pocket, his change would fly down everywhere. he? He is too lazy to pick it up! You have to bend your back several times for a piece of eighty cents, isn't it tiring?

It only happens once or twice, but if you can’t stand it, it will always happen for a long time. Look, is this colorful ground with glittering coins decorated in a unique way? The feeling of stepping on it is many times better than that of the man who used tea leaves to spread the floor.

It is said that this rich young man never washes his clothes. If underwear, underwear, socks, or even outerwear are dirty, just throw them away. Just look at the pile of complicated-smelling clothes in the corner, and you'll know who he is.

What about the work clothes issued by the factory? Just throw it away when it's dirty? They say we have to pay for cleaning at a laundromat. Anyway, we have money, so what are we afraid of?

Once, his roommate who lived with him couldn't bear it anymore and urged him to clean the room. The man picked up the dustpan and broom, swept the money and other debris on the floor into the dustpan, and poured it into the trash can! Without batting an eye, it doesn’t matter whether what he throws away is three hundred and five hundred, or whether what he throws out is money.

So what the inspectors saw today was the state of accumulation after being cleaned once in a certain month in a certain year. How much money do you have to spend on the ground all day long to create such a spectacular scene?

These five lazy guys usually look like everyone else, commuting to and from get off work on time, but behind the scenes, they are willing to live with garbage, and even themselves are about to become garbage people.

How decadent is the lifestyle and quality of life reflected in this? If it is attributed to laziness, it seems that it is lazy in itself. Digging deeper, it is the lack of self-responsibility and self-management ability, resulting in the inability to self-discipline and even basic personal hygiene, let alone the impact on the entire family. Responsible for your own future?

Anyone who can read this article will definitely not mess up to this extent. And people who have exceeded this level will not read this article. So it’s useless to say more, just take it as a joke. The author would be satisfied if he could contribute a little humor to the contemporary version of "The Legend of Xiao Lin Guang Ji".