Present a particularly humorous joke on New Year's Day-funny without makeup.

Present a particularly humorous joke on New Year's Day-funny without makeup.

Present a particularly humorous joke on New Year's Day-funny without makeup.

It's sunny during the day, but it's a little cold at night. I just came back from hanging out with a second-rate boyfriend this afternoon. My second-rate boyfriend saw me shivering and asked thoughtfully if it was cold. I nodded, thinking he would say something like a hug. I didn't expect this product to see me nod, so I took two breaths in my face ... jiaozi smells like leeks. ...

Mlgb: I found that I actually like women. What if my husband finds out? The thought of the consequences is terrible, and he will interrupt my penis. .

Breaking news: I was shocked to hear that the price reduction of train tickets was as high as 0.5- 1.5 yuan, the highest in history! People all over the country are very happy. Some citizens said: This price cut is like beating an egg in the Yangtze River. Since then, people all over the country have drunk egg soup, which is gratifying.

After Beijing introduced free medical treatment for 95-year-olds, Shandong immediately announced that people over 100 can climb Mount Tai for free, Henan agreed to relax the second child policy for people over 1 100, Shenzhen immediately implemented the measures to benefit the people by sharing houses with people over 120, and Shanghai boldly innovated to cancel monogamy for people over 130. Dear friends, it's cold, you must take care of yourself, and the good days are yet to come!

Someone on the internet said, please be kind to your pet. The days you spend together are his life. I felt something was wrong until I saw the bastard I raised. ...

Roommate's two children have good family conditions, and their father is the leader of a certain unit. But she basically eats steamed bread with her only bottle of tofu milk every day, and the basic expenses for one month are less than 100. After the holiday, her mother came to pick her up from school and prepare to get on the highway. She remembered the unfinished bottle of tofu brain, and her mother said decisively that she had to go back and get it. The car is male, the oil is male, but the tofu is her own.

Mom bought a fish, and when she got home, Carrefour found that it was not dead and couldn't bear to kill it, so she went online for help. A man of God said a clever trick: put some water to drown. ...

At noon, colleague A drinks, eats meat and smokes. The taste in his mouth is quite excessive. Colleague B is playing computer, and A leans in to watch. Suddenly he gave a long hiccup, only to see B covering her nose and glaring for a few seconds and yelling loudly, "You might as well fart at me ..."

A group of college students are partying in a hotel room. The hotel receptionist came up and said, "Don't shout! The gentleman next door says he can't read. " "You tell him," said a college student, "that he should be ashamed. I can study at the age of five. "

A buddy hooked up with a drunk woman in a bar! Check in for two people and take a shower! Dude, you go. Ask why it is so ugly! I said no way! It looks good in the bar. Is the makeup too strong? The buddy replied: Her technique is not called makeup, it is simply makeup. . .

Why do you say it is a strange injustice through the ages? The Olympic champion got a gold medal! Yue Fei won twelve gold medals and died. . . @ Liu Bei is very busy

Lz: I just listened to a song called "What does Jesus' father play?" "How beautiful! Can't find it in Baidu, ask for resources! Reply: Try searching yesterday again!

The requirement of family members for their partners is that they must graduate with a master's degree three years ago, come from their hometown, have a good family background and look beautiful 1.65 meters. I graduated from my hometown two years ago with a good family background, 1.6 meters. I graduated from junior college a year ago, and my family background is acceptable. I came from my hometown six months ago. The requirement now is that as long as you are not black. ...

He met the girl again and saw her get off the taxi, carrying a suitcase and a handbag. He is very concerned about her. She is beautiful and always alone. The box looks heavy, so the girl has to take a rest after a few steps and wipe the sweat from her forehead from time to time. Looking at her back, he couldn't help thinking that if he missed it this time, he might not have a chance. So I got up my courage, stepped up, grabbed my handbag and ran. ! @ jingjing jingjing

At the graduation ceremony, he suddenly whispered in her ear, "I like you." She smiled. "Hey, you've been flirting with me for three years. That's enough. " In the past three years, she is really tired of hiding her feelings to face the teasing of her secret crush again and again. "I'm serious!" Seeing that she didn't believe him, he said it again solemnly. "When did you not mean it?" He lowered his head: "In fact, it is true every time." She smiled helplessly: but. My mother said. I will study hard after I go to primary school. www.aiyangedu.com

My colleague visited bf's house for the first time yesterday. At dinner, they asked what their future father-in-law was. My father-in-law said, guess, it is the most stubborn animal in the zodiac! Colleagues answered without thinking: donkey! Then others fell into a suffocating silence before generation. . .

My colleague's signature was changed to "May the years be calm and safe in this world" after the wedding date was set ... Should I tell her the original advocate who wrote this sentence ... I didn't marry the object he told me, broke up with my lover three months later, and moved towards another marriage in less than half a year, and then it took a long time for both sides ... Three years later, I broke up my feelings and never saw her again? A benefactor, unlucky ...

Perhaps there is procrastination at the end of the world.