Funny and domineering classic quotes

1. If you are a handsome guy, you will know if you get a crew cut. Whether she is a beauty or not, you will know after taking off her makeup.

2. When looking at beauties on the street, if you look at them at a higher level, you are admiring them; at a lower level, you are a gangster.

3. When I’m in a bad mood, I want a hug.

4. If you have nothing to do, don’t come to me. If something happens, don’t come to me.

5. Recently, I always feel that I am getting fatter. Even when I walk, my face feels like it is shaking.

6. It’s over, you won’t pay attention to me anymore, I’ll become a dog and ignore you.

7. There was a loud noise in the sky, and I made a shining appearance. As soon as I came online, there was a power outage all over the world.

8. Mao Zedong said: Those who do not marry for the purpose of dating are all hooligans.

9. Who hasn’t fallen in love when they were young?

10. If you don’t know how to play with life, life will play with you.

11. Cow dung is still cow dung, and it will not turn into sweet pastry even if it is steamed in a pot.

12. What you say is better than what you sing, but what you do is not even as good as what you sing.

13. One day, the world will change, why don’t we escape now.

14. Girl, have you ever scolded or beaten you, but you can’t even open a bottle of water in front of a boy?

15. Women are meant to be pampered, while men are meant to be beaten.

16. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in it.

17. I want to be as strong as a cactus and learn to prick bad people.

18. The important thing in life is not where you stand, but the direction you are facing.

19. Why do you come to talk to me one by one when I ignore you.

20. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead.

21. Don’t say that people have a disease in their brains. To have a brain disease, you must first have a brain.

22. You don’t have a medical qualification certificate, so why do you think I’m crazy?

23. It is said that women are fickle, but facts prove that men are the chameleons.

24. I want to be a good boy, but my personality gradually tends to be a bad boy.

25. If I die, the only thing I won’t worry about is my QQ.

26. I am not a violent person, and I don’t recognize others when they are violent.

27. Female: I want to find a boyfriend. Man: Let me help you, "There is one in our dormitory that is pretty good." Woman: Don’t you feel bad when I’m with him? . Man: Are you thinking too much? Don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.

28. Get out of here on any birthday or egg-breaking day! I'm still young and don't want to be that old!

29. Boss, do you have any Nestlé? Give me a bottle of Youlemei.

30. Make decisions with a pat on your head and make promises with a pat on your chest. Sometimes you need to pat your butt and leave.

31. If you have never been in love once, you don’t know how cheap you are.

32. Mentally insane lunatics are not scary, but sane lunatics are scary.

33. Don’t worry about how to walk on the road you haven’t traveled yet, as long as you always walk in front of yourself.

34. The wind was so strong today that it chilled my heart.

35. Some people are more fake than ghosts!

36. I searched for her thousands of times, but suddenly looking back, she still ignored me.

37. When someone sends you a hello, don’t reply to it. You should reply to Kugou.

38. Silence is golden. My dear, are you producing gold?

39. The time was right, the place was right, the feelings were right, but the characters were wrong.

40. Every barber doesn’t understand the phrase “trim it a little, not too short.”

41. Women and English are the only things that are hard to come by, but wives and jobs are hard to find!

42. When you have no money, eat wild vegetables at home; when you have money, eat wild vegetables in the hotel.

43. No matter how awesome Chopin is, he can’t express my sadness!

44. If you were a flower, even the cows would not dare to poop.

45. Don’t compare people with animals, because some people are like animals!

46. I’m sorry that I didn’t come to your wedding. I will definitely come next time.

47. I speak human language when I meet people, and I talk nonsense when I meet ghosts. If I don’t meet people or ghosts, I will shut up!

48. These days, no one will believe you are a student unless you fall in love early, commit adultery, cheat, rebel, copy homework, or play with your mobile phone.

49. The sea is vast by leaping fish, and the broken drum is beaten by others.

50. A man’s words can deceive a woman for a night, but a woman’s words can deceive a man for a lifetime!

51. People rely on clothes, horses rely on saddles, and dogs run happily with bells.

52. A man’s biggest worry is his creditor, and a woman’s biggest worry is her lover.

53. How long a mouse can live depends on the cat’s mood.

54. Eat all your money and use up your health, gamble all your money and whoring, use up all your energy, and you will die.

55. If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark.

56. It’s not that I don’t dare to kick you, I’m just afraid of dirtying the Nikes on my feet.

57. The most beautiful thing in the world is not that I love you, but that your tumor is benign!

58. If I go down one day, remember, I will come back to you.

59. I am an atheist, but I dare not admit it at night!

60. If you have stomach pain, just stab your leg and your stomach will not hurt!

61. There must be a road in front of the mountain, and I can’t stop even if there is a road.

62. Whether you are crazy or not, stupidity is there. If you are not stupid, you are not crazy.

63. There are routines in martial arts, just click on them. There are routines in official circles that harm countless people.

64. There is a kind of love called letting go of your hand and holding the hand of others.

65. Seeing that you are a little happy makes me a little nervous.

66. Mixed society is a manual job, which requires four skills: moving around.

67. You dare to curse me for eating instant noodles without seasoning packets. I curse you for eating instant noodles with only seasoning packets.

68. What is the biggest difference between Jesus and Sakyamuni? One of their hair is curly and the other is curly.

69. After watching The Legend of the Condor Heroes, I learned that age is not a problem.

70. Wear other people’s shoes, go your own way, and let others find it!

71. It’s hard to make money as long as it’s hard to eat shit. It’s hard to make money as long as it’s hard to eat shit.

72. The teacher said that if you don’t want to study, just lie down on the table and pretend to be dead.

73. The world has its own way of heaven, then let the way of heaven take care of you!

74. Use a magnifying glass to see happiness, and use a microscopic lens to see pain.

75. When I love you, whatever you say is what I say. What do you say you are when I don't love you.

76. There are two paths in life: one that is walked with the heart is called dream, and the other that is walked with feet is called reality.

77. Don’t arm yourself with sophistication, it will become acclimatized.

78. I want to earn a lot of money for my father, and then I will become a rich second generation.

79. When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look high, you are appreciative; if you look low, you are a gangster.

80. Give me a fulcrum and I can pry your girlfriend away.

81. God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; however, He also saw that there are no idiots in the world. Also create you by the way.

82. If happiness is like clouds, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless and the sky is filled with stars...

83. Face is given by others, but face is lost by oneself.

84. You even believe the advertisements. You will become stupid by reading!

85. A teacher asked his students: Why does the body become cold after death? One student replied: A calm mind naturally cools down.

86. Why die on an onion? I still have a forest!

87. Don’t call me arrogant, I just refuse to deal with animals!

88. The biggest difference between animals and livestock is that one is domestic and the other is wild.

89. If you are not afraid of being used, you are afraid of being useless.

90. The mining disaster continues under review, and property prices rise under control!

91. I was arguing with a girl about whether whales are fish. Finally, I said, "Japanese people also use personal characters", and she finally agreed that whales are not fish.

92. When I saw you being so sultry, I lowered my head. It was not me who was doing the harm, but I was looking for bricks.

93. In the face of facts, the more developed our imagination is, the more unimaginable the consequences will be.

94. I wanted to get up and leave the mortal world, but my shadow fell into the world.

95. Money is really not a problem, the problem is that we have no money.

96. If the quilt is the tomb of youth, then I would rather die in it.

97. Let’s face it, life is often much more tasteful than those idol dramas.

98. If one day I become a pervert, please don’t forget that I was also innocent.

99. Hitting means kissing, scolding means loving, hitting and killing makes love.

100. In fact, Tang Monk loved Tathagata Buddha and was not afraid to seek scriptures just to see him.

101. The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is open your eyes. The first thing you do when you go to bed at night is close your eyes.

102. Color is emptiness. Tonight, I want to be empty.

103. I wish that when I received the red envelope, I would open it and it would say another one.

104. If anyone dares to curse me for buying instant noodles without seasoning packets, I will curse him for buying instant noodles with only seasoning packets!

105. After you confessed to me last time, I was sick for several days. Please stop scaring me.

106. If the fire truck doesn’t come, the fire will be extinguished.

107. Don’t think that just because you are thick-skinned, you can’t even cut with a knife.

108. I was once young and pretty, but unfortunately now my youth is gone, and I am just this pretty.

109. Being low-key now is just for the sake of being more high-profile in the future.

110. I have thought about it. When I grow up, I will open an Internet company and call it "Zheler" to compete with Xunlei.

111. It looks really depressing for a man with your physique to smell such a delicate flower.

112. Lei Feng, I love you. Please pay me the phone bill.

113. I have always regarded handsome men and money as dirt, and they have always regarded me this way.

114. Those with wings are not necessarily angels, they may also be bird-men.

115. I feel my heart to you, but you make me heartbroken.

116. God, God, I hope that my future deskmate will be both a school sweetheart and a top student.

117. Use scoring as the purpose, cheating as the means, and cheat sheets as the auxiliary.

118. Lie on your back tonight, sit up tomorrow morning, lie down tomorrow night, and hold up the day after tomorrow...exercise, sometimes it’s that simple.

119. Life lies in tossing, only tossing can boil.

120. If I have an ideal, I will pursue it, otherwise I will die with my goal in mind.

121. You are my daughter-in-law, no one can have any ideas about you.

122. Life is like a dance. The person who teaches you the first dance steps may not be able to accompany you until the end.

123. The saddest thing is that your best friend likes your boyfriend, and your boyfriend’s buddy likes you!

124. The sexiness of the soul is the real sexiness in the bones.

125. If I become the emperor, I will make you the prince!

126. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out long ago.

127. Even if you already have a master, I will still take over.

128. Don’t force yourself into a world that you can’t enter. Why bother if you make it difficult for others and harm yourself?

129. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over and asked: What happened? Drunk Man: I don’t know, I just arrived too!

130. There is no other half with 100 points, only two people with 50 points!

131. A black man went to see a horror movie, but his face turned pale with fright!

132. I once had an opportunity to put on extra clothes, but I didn’t cherish it until I caught a cold. If God gave me a chance to start over again, I would not hesitate. The ground plus all my clothes.

133. If you only have one mouthful of porridge in the future, you drink it first. After you finish drinking, I will lick the bowl clean...

134. The poor monk came from the Eastern Tang Dynasty. Come, make a special trip to the West to worship Buddha and ask for marriage.

135. Being handsome is useless. Can you use your face to swipe your credit card on the street?

136. I have never deceived you, because I have never had the need to deceive you.

137. Sweat! I just got a short haircut and everyone looked at me when I entered the class. When had I ever received such attention?

138. Everyone says I’m fat, but in fact I’m just not too thin.

139. Every carrot is like a pit. There are too many radishes, but there are no pits.

140. If you give up on her who is not good enough for the time being, then when she transforms, please get away as far as you can.

141. Can I kiss you? shameless! Okay, then kiss.

142. Your denial is enough to make me despair.

143. What is youth? Who has never been young? Have you ever aged? Really.

144. God has not given me any great responsibility, but it still tortures my mind and strains my muscles and bones.

145. Of course, galvanized coffins are more durable, but wooden coffins are good for health.

146. I’m in a bad mood today. I only have four things to say. Including this sentence and the previous two sentences. I'm done...

147. If you mess with my bald guy, I'll beat you without any negotiation.

148. In fact, the things you lose have never really belonged to you, so there is no need to regret it.

149. Your ordinary name affects so many emotions in me.