The opening lines of the wedding host are funny

What are the funny opening lines of a wedding host? Come with me to see the collection of funny opening lines of the wedding host~ Funny opening lines of the wedding host 1

When spring returns to the earth, in the fields of hope, in this fragrant West Street entrance, the sky Good luck, dear guests, gather together happily. Witness the perfect union of a couple, eulogize pure love, tell the story of a beautiful marriage, show the couple's style, and leave an unforgettable moment. The auspicious time has arrived, and now I announce: the wedding ceremony of Zhu Yapeng---Li Huiying has officially begun. Invite the bride and groom to make a shining appearance.

①Wear wedding bouquets for the bride and groom (to the groom) Wow! You can say how handsome you are when you put on a suit and put on flowers! But as far as I know, someone is scolding the groom today--- ---Because he was handsome and talented, he got rid of so many girls who chased him, but one month ago he became Huiying's prisoner. Regarding the captives, I know Huiying will not abuse them, but may punish them gently. You have to be careful. (To the bride) Hey, bride, I simply doubt that you are not a human being - just like a fairy from the sky. Mortal world. You see, the bride is so well-dressed today, red and white, so decent. Compared with Xi Shi and Diao Chan, she only has Zhu Yapeng in her heart, leaving so many young men aside.

②Check the marriage certificate. Did you have a license to get married? No? Oh, it doesn’t matter if you have a certificate or not. I hope you will cooperate tacitly and conscientiously sow love, manage love, and harvest love, (to the bride) next year When you get rich, you earn half of his money and half of yours. (To the groom) I will give birth to a baby next year, who will be half of hers and half of yours.

③ If you want to drink a glass of wine, the two of you must shake hands first. Love is like this glass of wine, spicy and mellow. Many people already have it, and many people are pursuing it. Those who are married should cherish it, and those who are not married should cherish it. come on. After drinking this glass of wine, my whole body is full of courage and courage. At the banquet, thousands of cups and thousands of cups can be used to entertain.

④ Worship to heaven and earth In this vast world, the vast sea of ????people, several winds and rains, several springs and autumns, each of you has found true love. Your perfect union can be learned by heaven and earth. Enshrining the gods of heaven and earth, playing music and offering incense

Bowing to heaven and earth: how to worship? In the new society, new fashions, kowtow and bow are the same. You are a pair made for each other. You are a pair made of the earth. Bow to the earth and then bow. Thank God, heaven and earth bow together.

Farewell to Gaotang again: Your father is loyal and hard-working. He sells lanterns, grows crops, and builds floor slabs. He stays away from home, gets up before dawn, and goes to bed after twelve o'clock. Is your dad tired?

Your dad is tired. Serving tea, is it sweet? Turn bitter into sweet. No matter how tired you are, you are an outsider.

Twenty years ago, you fell to the ground. It was your mother who helped you walk, taught you how to speak, and worked hard to raise you. I support you in school and run up and down for your marriage. Is your mother busy?

Your mother is busy. Peel a piece of candy. Is it sweet? Is it the daughter-in-law’s sweetness? Or the mother-in-law’s? Funny opening lines of the wedding host 2

Central People's Broadcasting Station, CCTV, China Radio International, dear listeners, dear viewers, compatriots in ***, and overseas Chinese:

We are now in the Grand Hotel. To Mr. ____, Miss ____’s wedding celebration will be broadcast live. Today, the weather is fine, the sun is shining, the wind is gentle, the sweet-scented osmanthus is fragrant, the orioles are singing melodiously, the auspicious clouds are blooming in thousands of colors, the sky follows people’s wishes, nature tells We have a good day today.

Look, the auditorium is solemnly decorated, the golden walls are brilliant, and the happy words hanging high are shining with golden light. The guests attending the wedding came from all over, all smiling and beaming with joy. They were really gorgeously dressed and in high spirits. They were polite and sat on both sides.

In this golden season, Cupid’s arrow hits the fruit of love carefully cultivated by a newlywed couple. After a sweet love, Mr. ____ and Miss ____ will be together. Today, on this auspicious day in the lunar month of the year AD, we join hands to enter the sacred wedding hall. This is a sincere crystal love, a soul-stirring lifelong relationship, and a true portrayal of the dragon and the phoenix. , this is a new chapter of love between a talented man and a beautiful woman. Their union is a perfect match in the world, their union is a beautiful union, their union is the collision of true love, and their union is the hymn of love in the new era. Friends, applause and bless them.

The guests attending the wedding celebration today include --------------, as well as leaders at all levels, close friends and classmates of the groom and bride, friendly relatives and friends, and neighbors. Fellow villagers, there are representatives of my natal family and friends from all walks of life. I will not introduce them one by one here. On behalf of both hosts, I would like to express my warm welcome and heartfelt thanks to friends from all walks of life for their presence.

Now I solemnly announce: With the approval of the Bachelors Committee and the agreement of the Big Girls Committee, the wedding celebrations of Mr. ____ and Miss ____ will now begin.

1. The officiant enters the venue

First of all, let us invite today’s officiant with warm applause: Mr. father of the groom, Ms. mother, Mr. father of the bride, Ms. mother. The four old people please sit according to family groups, and be sure to sit down. It can be seen that the four old people are in high spirits, with smiles on their faces and smiles in their eyes. Because today everyone has a professional title, this is the husband-in-law, this is the father-in-law, and this is the mother-in-law. Coincidentally, the two in-laws look like sisters from their names. This must be God's arrangement, so that when you become like sisters, you will be able to respect each other and help each other. Let us congratulate the four old people for getting a professional title.

2. Newlyweds entering the venue

God-given marriage is a blessing. The bride and groom are the protagonists, accompanied by the best man and bridesmaid, who enter the ceremony gracefully to pay homage to their loved ones. Now please invite the bride and groom to make their debut.

He will be your groom. From now on, he will be your lifelong companion. Everything about him will be closely related to you. He will accompany you forever and love you forever.

She will be your bride. She is entrusted to you by others. You should take extra care of her throughout your life and fly with her with your most gentle heart. Both suffering and happiness should be treated equally. It must be a special fate to become a family along the way. How much does he love you and how much do you repay him? You may no longer be alone in finding happiness. You have to think about us all the time. The more you give, the more perfect your love will be.

Compliment the best man and bridesmaid

Look at the best man, he is so handsome, he and the groom seem to be brothers. He is anxious when someone gets married. When the best man comes home crying after getting addicted to the wedding, how do you respond? It's okay. I want a wife. I said, young man, don't worry. I will be your master of ceremony when you get married. Let's do a short trip to get married quickly. I have chosen the address for you. Can you tell me whether it will be quick or not for the one-day trip to Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand? Immediately set up Taiping Mountain, plus a white beach, Harraoyi Hezhao, Momoge went to see Xianhe Dagang Forest Farm to catch free cats, and cast a net to fish for moon bubbles. After this round, I was so tired that the bridesmaids were a little bit overwhelmed. , Xinghe’s big eyes were in a daze, thinking why don’t I get married, hoping that the wedding day will come soon. Let me ask the bridesmaid if she wants to get married and tell the truth.

The best man and bridesmaid shake hands in friendship, the male and female guests accompany each other, the green leaves and red flowers are in full bloom, now friends come to help and learn from it. Thank you for escorting us all the way. Please take a seat below. Be sure to have a few more drinks. I will toast you later. Praising the bride and groom, the groom is so elegant, he is so handsome, he has thick eyebrows and big eyes, and a head full of black hair. He is 1.8 meters tall. He is more charming than Andy Lau and Chow Yun-fat, and he is more adulterous than Zhuge Liang. He always takes on difficulties at work. If you don't delay or collapse, you will be majestic and dignified. In terms of learning, you are talented, smart, open-minded, and beautiful in appearance. There is no adulteration. Three guarantees are provided with a credit card. It is not easy to exchange. One can be exchanged for two. --------Just kidding, don't take it seriously. The bride looks beautiful, with fair skin and slender figure. She is as beautiful as a hibiscus emerging from the water, more beautiful than a five-colored golden phoenix. Her hair is dyed with ink, and her two dimples hide her smile, just like the newly blooming magnolia. , blooming narcissus, white and fragrant jasmine, and glorious peonies. Old man, you are married to this wife. It is hard to find her on the five continents and in the four oceans. Even in China, a land of outstanding people, she is only one in a hundred. When she comes in, your family will be prosperous and prosperous. Your parents-in-law will be healthy and live long lives. Your husband will be promoted to general manager. You will be so excited when you are young. You are full of blessings. Please ask the carpenter to build the biggest box. Don’t put anything in it, just put RMB in it. , It doesn’t matter if you can’t fit it in. Use the car to save money, and the interest will be tens of millions.

3. The witness reads out the marriage certificate. Nail, rivet, rivet, cooperation is better than working alone. Marriage is so beautiful that there must be no less witnesses. Here are the witnesses.

Ladies and gentlemen, please note that your marriage must be registered. Legal marriages are protected, and the younger days become more auspicious. Does anyone know if they have registered or not? Now let’s ask the witness to read out the marriage certificate. When the government issues marriage certificates, whoever gets them first will be in charge. The secretary has written the letter of determination and asked me to bring it to you. Wife, I love you. I will listen to you in everything. I will go home after get off work and spend all the money I make on my wife.

4. Introduce the love process, bridegroom, I know that you both work in Baicheng Shuiwen Water Resources Survey Bureau, so how did you ruthlessly start with the people around you, and what method did you use to gain the favor of the bride? Young man? Take out the notebook, these are all tricks.

5. Exchanging gifts

6. Enjoying a glass of wine. Stare silently with love, with each other in your eyes and heart, sip a glass of wine deeply, think of each other when you are awake and drunk, drink the nectar of honey, indulge in the fragrance of love, bless you, bridegroom, bride, remember In this wonderful time of life, I hope your future days and months will always be as sweet as this honeymoon, and I hope the strings of your career will always play the music of your close friends.

7. Three bows:

One bow to the parents, the bridegroom and the bride. Don’t forget your father and mother when you are newly married. It is unusual for your parents to pull you up since childhood. Now that you two have grown up, your parents’ temples have become frosty. I hope that if you two have a good house, you should first invite your parents to live in it, and if you have good food, you should first invite your parents to eat it. Your parents will be happy in your old age, and your children will be happy. There is also light in the sky. This kind of upbringing cannot be forgotten. I bow three times to thank my parents for their upbringing. The first bow is to thank my parents for their upbringing. The second bow is to remember the words of my parents. The third bow, parents, please rest assured.

Two bows to relatives and friends, one bow to thank everyone for coming, two bows to hope that you will visit us more often in the future, and three bows to bear in mind when you have children and breastfeed.

The three couples bowed to each other face to face, holding hands, eyes facing each other, affectionate and silent, two people in love. One bow, you and I will always be connected in our hearts. Two bows, selfless devotion from the bottom of our hearts. Three bows, we respect each other, love each other and understand each other. , no fighting after marriage.

End

The wedding is almost here, everyone is smiling. I would like to say a few more words to remind you that the journey of life is not all about flowers and wine. There will be ups and downs, and as friends we should work together to fight through the ups and downs. Don’t you see that the Yangtze River is beautiful and flowing forever? As long as people last forever, love will last for thousands of years. Friends, let us raise a toast to the bride and groom’s happy wedding.