Ancient fun: how did the ancients joke?

There are many funny stories not only in modern times, but also in ancient times. Some you may have heard of, some you haven't. So how did the ancients joke? Let's take a look together. Look at the difference between ancient stalks and us now.

1, nobody grinds ink.

The son of a rich family went to take an exam, and his father gave him a test in advance. He got good grades and thought he would be admitted. Unexpectedly, there is no son's name on the list. Father hurried to the county magistrate for trial. The magistrate turned to look at the scroll and saw a faint mist on it, but there were no words. As soon as dad got home, he scolded, "Why is your paper so ugly?" My son cried and said, "No one grinds ink for me in the examination room, so I have to dip my pen in water and write on the inkstone."

2, the old lady chanting Buddha

An old lady, with several beads in her hand, read Amitabha, Amitabha and shouted, "Han, Han, there are too many ants in the pot." I hate it. Please burn them with fire for me. " Then read: "Amitabha, Amitabha." Then he shouted, "Han, Han, help me take the ash off the bottom of the pot, and don't use your own dustpan, because if it burns out, you can borrow it from your neighbor's house." Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha. "

3. Never be a vegetarian

Monks visit people. When the master saw that he was a monk, he asked, "Master, do you drink?" The monk smiled and said, "Drink a little wine, but never be a vegetarian."

4. Except idiots

A man complained to the county magistrate, "I lost a hoe tomorrow, please ask my master to look for it." The county magistrate asked, "you slave! I lost my hoe tomorrow. Why didn't you report it yesterday? " The beadle beside him couldn't help laughing. The magistrate immediately closed the case and said, "You must have stolen the hoe! What did you steal? " The deacon replied, "I want to get rid of that idiot."

The old man is very sad.

There was an old man with deep pockets and a full house of children and grandchildren. On the occasion of his centenary birthday, the house was crowded with birthday guests, but the old man was very unhappy. Everyone asked him, "You are so blessed, what are you worried about?" The old man replied, "I'm not worried about anything, but I'm worried that hundreds of thousands of people will come to congratulate me when I celebrate my 200th birthday. How can I remember them one by one? "

Step 6 get a bargain

A man is playing outside the door with his son in his arms. The neighbor jokingly said, "the blood of father and son is really passed down from one vein." Just look at your son. His face is really the same as mine. " The man holding the child said, "Yes, you and the child are brothers born to a woman. How can your faces be different? "

7. Heartbroken.

There are two little people who have poisonous sores on their backs and seek medical treatment. After reading one, the doctor looked at the second one, pretended to be scared and said, "His heart is worse, but it can be cured." Your heart is so bad and rotten, how can I cure it? "

8. Sparrows treat

One day, the sparrow invited the birds to drink. It said to the kingfisher, "If you wear such bright clothes, naturally please sit on the table." He said to the eagle, "although you are big, you have to be wronged to sit at the next table in black and ugly clothes." The eagle replied, "You slave, why are you so snobbish?" ! "The sparrow replied," No one in the world knows that I am a small-minded sparrow. "

9. Animals bully the poor

A man asked a beggar, "Why do dogs bite when they see you?" The beggar replied, "If I have a good coat and hat to wear, the animals will respect me."

10, emperor's clothes

A beggar came back from Beijing and boasted that he had seen the emperor. Others asked him, "What clothes does the emperor wear?"

Answer: "I wear a hat carved from white jade and a golden robe."

Q: "How can you bow in a golden robe?"

The beggar spat at him and said, "Haha, I really don't understand the world! Now that you are the emperor, who do you bow to? "