Two-person funny skit. Be brief.

see and assess the suitability of a prospective mate or son

event

Table 8 of Liyuan Hotel.

figure

A (male, small restaurant owner, terrapin entrepreneur).

B (male, older literary youth).

Script:

A appeared on the stage and made the opening remarks: "My name is Liu Laoqi. I am thirty-one this year. I am single and not married. My mother was in a hurry at home and urged me to find it quickly. " My second aunt's daughter-in-law and her third uncle's nephew introduced me to a blind date here. The symbol is that everyone holds a rose. Heard that the other chinese odyssey. Oh, I'm so excited. "Look back at the number directly above (outside the hotel)

A: "Liyuan Hotel, this is it."

Go in. Go to table 8. Seeing no one, I said, "Hey, I'm early, hehe." I dragged a chair to sit down, looked at my watch, waited anxiously, picked up the menu and browsed at will.

B appeared on the stage and made the opening remarks: "Autumn went to winter, and another spring came, but I was busy coming on a blind date. My parents are waiting for good news in order to go to the front. Seeing that another year has passed, my girlfriend still has no landing; After the Spring Festival, Yu Dou, a friend from our unit, is getting engaged. I am Alexander! " Just after New Year's Day, I was forced into the battlefield again. Last year, more than 300 blind dates failed. I don't know what the result is this time. "Go to the front of the hotel to see the house number.

"Here we are, hehe, let's see if the other party has come." Grab the door glass and look inside. "Hey, someone is like a man ~ ~ ~"

Then the phone rang, and B answered the phone: "Hello, Mom. Oh, by the way, I just arrived and haven't come into the house yet. Table 8? Someone, someone. Huh? What does it look like? (Looking back at A) Oh, it's a little embarrassing to look at ~ ~ What you look like is secondary. The main question is, is it a man ~ ~ ~ What? Gay? How can I be gay! I think I'm here for dinner. It's still early, and the other lesbian hasn't come yet. Ok, ok, I'll call you later. "

B walked into the room and stood at table 8. I looked up at B and B and smiled awkwardly.

A looked down at the menu. After a moment of silence, B carefully asked A, "Big Brother, have you eaten?"

A nodded, "mm-hmm",

B asked again, "Brother, have you finished eating?"

A: "I haven't eaten yet. What's wrong? "

B smiled awkwardly and said, "well, big brother, can I sit down?" I'll leave when someone comes. "

A: "OK, please sit down."

B sat down carefully, smiled at Jia, took out a rose from his coat pocket and put it on the table.

A was taken aback when he saw the rose, stood up and walked to one side, saying to himself, "Rose? God, there seems to be something wrong. " Go to the table and ask B: "Hey, are you, are you dating?"

B looked blankly at A: "Yes, how do you know?"

A stepped aside in panic.

"Why is this man sneaking around?" B said inexplicably.

A said to himself, "God, this guy looks really unique! How is this possible ~ ~ ~ No, I have to confirm it again. "

A went to the table and asked B, "I said, let me ask you something. You are, aren't you a lady? "

B angry: "What did you say? What did you say?/Sorry? What look? Can't men and women see it? He is a real man! "

More panic spread in the seats.

B then sat down angrily, crossed his legs and put his hands on his chest.

A looked embarrassed and said to B, "All right, big brother, don't be angry with me. Actually, I still want to find a woman. We are not suitable! "

B looked puzzled and turned his head and said, "What do you mean? Are you here on a blind date? "

A nodded: "Hmm!"

"Ha ha ..." B smiled. "Eldest brother, you must have misunderstood me. My blind date is a lesbian. Let's meet at this table. "

"Oh, ha ha, that's it! What a coincidence! I also made an appointment at this table, and agreed that everyone would take a rose. Suppose someone will help us contact each other. We know nothing about each other. I thought it was you when you took the roses. Hehe, I was wrong, hehe, hehe. "

B: "Hehe".

A said, "You said this table was chosen by accident. They are all numbers eight, hehe. "

B: "Yes, the number must be eight. Find someone who can make a fortune! "

A: "Haha, this guy talks funny. Look, big brother, you are not young, are you? No one yet? "

B: "Isn't it, big brother? I tell you, many girls are very materialistic now. Having a car and a house is the bottom line, and there is no money; ; Just eat the government, even if you are 250; " If you don't have money, it's wrong to be the same age. If you have money, the old man will be fine! "

A: "Oh, big brother, the summary is very incisive!"

B: "Alas, lesbians say that there are more than 20 million unmarried men than unmarried women in China, and there is a vast market space. This is called the relationship between supply and demand determines the value of goods. "

A: "There is nothing we can do about it. Every family has few sons. The proportion of men and women in the country is very different, and Sakyamuni laughs. " In the eastern soil, I was born as a bachelor, so I don't worry that no one will preach Buddhism. "

B: "haha, big brother is also very humorous! The conditions are so good, why do you want a blind date, big brother? "

A: "Hey, it's still naked. My family is in a hurry. My relatives introduced me. "

B: "What do you do, big brother?"

A: "I run a restaurant."

B: "Oh, how's business?"

A is helpless: "Well, it is not easy to do something these days, especially to open a restaurant. Now the food safety in China is not so good, and the people are not at ease with our cooking. "

B comforted: "As long as you are honest, big brother, your business will prosper!" "

A: "I run my own business, but I am also a victim. This is not the last time I bought several bags of ecological rice in the supermarket, which is several times more expensive than the rice we usually eat. "

B: "Oh, businesses nowadays just like to engage in concepts. We don't say whether things are good or not, but we must turn the price over first. "

A: "I'm thinking about it. If you keep ordering good things, customers can still say yes after eating them, and as a result, they will eat bugs. "

B: "that's for them to give an explanation."

A: "I called their customer service later, and guess what they said?"

B: "What did they say?"

A: "The customer service said, ecological rice, ecological rice, do you know what ecology is? Ecology is that you can eat a biological chain in a bag of rice! How irritating you are ~ ~ ~ ".

B: "Then sue him."

A: "Why? Just a few bags of rice is not enough for legal fees. "

B: "That's true".

A: "Later, I thought about it. Now everything is very fashionable and special, and I also want to go to the special project on the hour. " I just heard that there is a man named Sheng Di, and I think he is very special. "

B: "Can you fix it? That's illegal! "

A: "That's impossible. It's illegal for you and Ben, and it's here. The girls in our class all wear clothes, much more than taking photo albums. "

B: "How is your business?"

A: "That guy is old, be quiet. I can't wait to eat with him three times a day. But this is a bad thing. "

B: "What's the matter?"

A: "Later, our deputy magistrate came every day."

B: "What's wrong with that? He wrote a white note? "

A: "That's not true. Our county has money, and he doesn't feel bad about spending public funds. It was later discovered by his wife. "

B: "Does his wife know how old it can be?"

A: "Big Brother, you don't know. Our deputy county magistrate's wife is a county magistrate. After she found out, the people from the health inspection office came the next day and said that I was unqualified. "

B: "Tell me where you are unqualified?"

A: "They said there was a rule that the tableware must be boiled ~ ~ ~, and that boy, the girl in the shop, ran home with sashimi on her body ~ ~".

B: "Ha ha ha ha ha, oh, big brother, you are really good." .

Then B's phone rang.

B: "Hello. It's me. Hello. I have arrived. Where are you? Are you there? I didn't see you? What? Liyuan Hotel? South Sixth Ring Road? Oh, I'm in the North Fifth Ring Road. Wait, I'll be right there! "

B hung up the phone and said to A, "Oh, I've heard of Liyuan. I went to the South Sixth Ring Road and the North Fifth Ring Road. Brother, wait slowly. I have to hurry. " Then step down.

A: "well, then you should go quickly." Don't worry, be safe. "

A looked at his watch and said to himself, "This is too much. Why hasn't mine come yet? I won't make a mistake, will I? Call and ask. "

A dialed the mobile phone: "Hello, Xiao Li? This is a little too much. Why haven't you come yet? What? Did you see me dating a man? Oh, sister, don't get me wrong. We are dating, but it's not what you think. Hello, hello? Oh, my God, I have to go. I misunderstood ~ ~ ~ What about this? "

A hung up the phone and came out, shouting, "Eldest brother, slow down. My elder sister misunderstood us. Please help me explain! " Said and walked off the stage.