I am an introvert who cannot communicate and get along with my colleagues. What should I do if others hate me?

I have seen people who talk very little, but can get along with others; I have also seen people who talk a lot, but are isolated because of the unpleasant way they speak.

First of all, you have to figure out the most critical question: Do your colleagues really hate you?

It’s easy for us to stereotype other people. Let me give you an example from myself:

Look, I didn’t do anything wrong, but I need to apologize. It's because the other person sees me with his stereotype.

How to tell if your colleagues hate you: When you encounter a problem at work, try to ask your colleagues how to solve it; when you need support from your colleagues, ask your colleagues if they can help.

If your colleagues are willing to help you, then "you think others hate you."

Of course, we cannot rule out the fact that some people are naturally selfish and not willing to help others. If you ask such people for help, they will not take the initiative to help you. So, don’t make a sarcastic comment about one person to everyone.

If your colleagues are friendly to you, it proves that you are indeed too pessimistic. Just keep a normal mind in the future.

What should you do if your colleagues really hate you?

The first thing you have to reflect on is your words and deeds. Is it possible that some of your words or actions made your colleagues unhappy? You know, there must be a reason why one person hates another person.

Never make excuses for your "habits". For example, if you are born with a bitter face, other people will think that you are not very friendly, but you always think to yourself: "Actually, this is not my intention."

Please, you are not a friendly person. Blank paper, how can others know your true thoughts? They will only try to figure out your thoughts based on your performance.

So, even if you have a bitter face, if you want to show kindness, try to learn to raise the corners of your mouth. Is it really that difficult?

So, no matter what your nature is, try to be kind. For example:

1. Don’t lower your head when walking, and try to make eye contact with your colleagues. If the other person greets you, you should return the greeting instead of treating the other person as nothing. It would be better if you can take the initiative to greet your colleagues.

2. Actively respond to colleagues’ communication, even saying “hmm” or nodding is a kind of response. Instead of calling your name, you ignored it and blamed this behavior on "I am introverted". This is not introversion, this is lack of literacy.

3. There is no need to actively join the other party’s circle, but if the other party invites you, please do not refuse them all. For example, if you get together occasionally, as long as you have time, and as long as the invitations are not too frequent, you should still go to the appointment. Others have extended their hands to you. No matter what you do, you still have to shake hands to show friendship, right?

Never use your own personality as a shield. Introversion is a character, behavior is a quality, don’t lump them into the same category. Moreover, don’t believe the nonsense that “temperament is hard to change”. Think about it, are all speakers born extroverts? Are all calligraphy masters born with good calligraphy skills? No matter what your personality is, you can change it through hard work. Of course, I'm not talking about changing your personality, but some of your unflattering words and actions.

You know, introverts are more likely to be understood by everyone. Why should we change such an advantageous character?

-End-

This question highlights such a logical relationship. It seems that it is because you are introverted and cannot communicate with colleagues that you make others hate you. This is definitely wrong. These two phenomena do not constitute a causal relationship. Introverts who do not communicate with colleagues may not necessarily be annoying to others. The reason why they feel this way must be because of their own mentality. question.

Introverts usually talk less and do not like to communicate with others, because introverts tend to look for energy inward. Extroverts are different. They need to constantly communicate with others and gain energy through social interaction.

In the workplace, there is often a misunderstanding that people who don't like to talk are "pretending", "looking down on others" and "pretending to be noble". In fact, this prejudice itself is wrong.

Putting aside the old saying that "a word that is not speculative is enough", some people don't like to talk to begin with. They have their own little world inside. Too much communication with the outside world will destroy the inner order and peace.

All of us must learn to be tolerant and look at people and things that are different from ourselves. We should not dislike introverts just because we are extroverts, nor should we dislike extroverts just because we are introverts. "嘚丝". These are all preconceptions.

When a person walks out of campus and enters society, it means dealing with all aspects of relationships, and colleague relationships are only one of them. Therefore, handling colleague relationships well is not only related to whether you can establish positive and healthy interpersonal relationships, but more importantly What's more, during the 8 hours you spend at work every day, you will feel in a good mood because of the harmonious relationship with colleagues, and your work will not be so boring.

What is good colleague communication? I think it means doing your own job well, not causing trouble to downstream colleagues, helping others as much as possible if you can, and don’t worry too much about a little effort. If you can do these things, you can basically get a good relationship with colleagues, and there is no need to go out of your way to treat or please. The goodwill gained in this way is actually temporary.

We have to admit that there are many overly sensitive people in the world. They always think that others have opinions about them and hate themselves. Even if others laugh when they pass by while chatting, they will think that others It's Xiao Xiao. If the subject of the question is also such a sensitive person, then he really needs to change his question.

Many times we think that others hate us, which is an illusion. It is not cost-effective to avoid contact with them because of this illusion.

Another point is that we must clearly understand that no one can win the love and approval of everyone. If you and he are not the same person, it doesn’t matter if he hates you. Isn’t there a saying called "Tao" Different people don’t work together." Don't think so much, it's so tiring.

I hope the above three points can help you~

If you can’t get along with your colleagues, it’s because you lack communication skills; if others hate you, it’s your illusion, which can only mean that you He has neither established a professional image in the workplace nor is he in an important management position. In short, these two have nothing to do with introversion. Whether you are introverted or extroverted, the rule of survival in the workplace is that you have to be a person who can provide value.

If you observe carefully, you will find that: there are some people in the workplace who hardly participate in discussions on hot topics and do not care about gossip news. They usually talk little and do not show off their talents. However, once they When they encounter a problem that needs to be solved and need advice or help from others, they will quickly give the correct solution or insight.

Using your professional values ??and management experience to connect with others is the core of workplace relationships.

The workplace is a place where professionalism is demonstrated. It's great to have a lively chat together, but only by providing truly valuable advice and help can you become a good partner in others' workplaces.

The boss spends money to buy your time in order to solve work problems and enhance the company's efficiency. You don't need to make friends with your colleagues, nor do you need to leave a good impression on your colleagues. What you need to think about is how to do your job well.

In fact, most people in the workplace are just muddle along, being a monk for a day and hitting the clock. If you want to have a relationship, you can only go with the flow and muddle along like everyone else. People who can reach the management level and get promoted continuously will spend their energy and time on improving their professional skills and management experience, and their communication with colleagues will be limited to work exchanges.

Colleagues in the workplace can be roughly divided into four categories:

Becoming the fourth type of workplace talent is your goal.

Please remember: The workplace is not about falling in love or making friends. The workplace is about speaking with strength. You don't need to have a good relationship with others, you just need to get things done.

Communicating with colleagues does not require special skills. It is based on solving problems and simply grasp a few points:

If others hate you, it is definitely your illusion. This reflects two points:

The way to gain recognition and respect in the workplace is to use your professional skills to convince others.

Many people may think that extroverts are talkative, while introverts are taciturn. This is the biggest misconception about introverts. The so-called introversion and extroversion are just different ways of obtaining energy, and whether they can talk freely depends entirely on personal needs and skill training.

I have an introverted friend who used to have very low self-esteem and did not dare to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. But now he is the president of the Asian region of a Fortune 500 company and can talk for three days and three nights without writing. no problem.

Compared with extroverts, introverts have their own innate advantages. You can read the book "Introvert Advantages" to treat your introverted tendencies correctly and give full play to your strengths.

In short, the correct way to open up the workplace is: let yourself become a person who provides value, discuss the matter as it is, and use your professionalism, management experience, and professionalism to convince others.

Introverts are subconsciously afraid of excitement, because introverts are not good at words and lack the ability to talk with others. They often get confused in situations where there are many people.

But not being good at communication does not mean that you cannot or cannot communicate. It’s just that introverts prefer to be alone, which makes them more focused and relaxed.

Introverts are in a sense more nuanced, so introverts don't need to feel stressed. Each character has its own strengths and weaknesses.

But the workplace inherently exists in the form of groups, and it is impossible for introverts to completely isolate themselves. Even if it is not a work connection, it is not easy for introverts to turn a blind eye to the office camaraderie among colleagues.

What we are talking about here is improvement rather than change, because introversion is not a bad character. Only when it seriously affects normal life will it appear less friendly, which requires individuals to do something. Make efforts to make improvements and corrections.

A person has strong potential and the ability to change himself and improve his personality. This has nothing to do with whether he is an introvert or an extrovert. The only difference is whether he is willing to change. There are several levels of introversion. The characteristic that does not affect work and life is that they are less talkative and prone to shyness, but there is no problem in daily communication. The more extreme ones are those who dare not talk to others at all, and even have problems in dealing with others, in which case changes must be made.

It may be that introverts inherently lack social skills, and therefore engage in inappropriate but unintentional behaviors, which may inadvertently offend the people around them. , which ultimately makes them hate themselves.

Introverts are more sensitive. It is possible that your colleagues do not hate you, but they are just sensitive in their hearts, creating such an illusion. Try to communicate with your colleagues. As long as you are kind and apologize sincerely even if you say something wrong, your colleagues will forgive you.

Introverts actually prefer others to talk to them first in a group, rather than taking the initiative to speak. Because speaking is relatively difficult for introverts.

Introverts are not good at words and therefore do not like to talk, so they keep everything in their hearts. But even if colleagues do have some misunderstandings about themselves and have a bad impression, they must show their sincerity, express their position, and actively seek changes and opportunities for communication. As long as you are sincere and kind enough, your colleagues will understand.

I think the first thing we should do is to build self-confidence.

Introverts are everywhere, even Stephen Chow and Ma Huateng are introverts, which means that introversion is not a key factor affecting the development of a career at all. You say your colleagues hate you, but actually it’s not because of introversion or extroversion at all. I know a few extroverted colleagues who talk eloquently every day, but everyone around them is afraid to avoid them. Being outgoing doesn't necessarily mean you will be liked by your colleagues.

We work to earn some money and learn skills, not to please our colleagues. There is no denying the importance of interpersonal relationships in the workplace, but it is a bit of a stretch to think that your colleagues will like you. As long as you complete your own work, maintain respect for others, actively integrate into the team, and have normal communication, I feel that I have met the basic requirements for workplace interpersonal relationships. As for whether you can establish further intimacy with your colleagues, you can't force it. Because the workplace is not a place bound by human relationships. Where there is interest, there is competition. You cannot always satisfy everyone.

Whether a person can be recognized and close to others, I think the more important thing is whether the three views are similar. Always remember,

When you meet a close friend, a thousand glasses of wine is too little, and a half-sentence of conversation is too much. It is difficult to become friends if you are not the same person, especially in the workplace.

Human beings are group animals, and everyone is afraid of being marginalized. Everyone will have the desire to communicate with others at work or in their spare time. If we always passively wait for others to come to us to communicate, we will feel very isolated. Whether it is during working hours or after get off work, we can take the initiative to communicate with colleagues. In fact, I believe that others also have the same desire to socialize.

Don’t subjectively think that others’ alienation means they hate you. It’s mainly due to too little communication. Maybe they think you like to be alone. As long as you take the initiative to integrate into team work communications or private activities, you don't need to be outgoing to be accepted and recognized by everyone. You know, being introverted does not mean being silent. If you close yourself off, your colleagues will judge you as being too aloof.

If you want to have a more harmonious relationship with colleagues in the workplace, then consciously make yourself better. If you don't have strong language skills, then keep smiling; if you can't get closer to others, then let yourself be more enthusiastic about helping others. For those who are introverted and shy, other methods such as email and WeChat can also be used to communicate and understand each other.

If you feel more reserved in the work environment, you can participate in more leisure activities among colleagues. Use a positive attitude to let your colleagues know that you are an easy person to get along with.

Being too assertive or putting yourself too lowly in the workplace is not conducive to your own development. We can smile and respect others, but there is no need to lower ourselves to dust. People who despise themselves will not be recognized by others. We should not look down on others. As long as you communicate with others sincerely, don't brag or be slanderous, maintain an equal attitude, and be able to reflect your role in the team, I believe that is enough.

If you are willing to change yourself, you can work hard to improve your communication and expression skills. And for colleagues who do have different views, there is no need to expect their likes. You can be friends with people who speak the same language, and just maintain normal working contact with colleagues. Come on, believe in yourself.

I am also introverted and not lovable.

Fortunately, I have been surrounded by cheerful friends since I was a child. They will protect me and help me on many occasions.

So, it is recommended to make more friends with cheerful people, they will help you solve many problems.

At work, if you are not happy getting along with your colleagues due to personality problems, it is recommended to change the environment.

No one is left here, there is a place for people.

I have also stayed in different working environments. Some places are indeed unpleasant to stay in, but there are also pleasant places to stay in.

Introverts are not very adaptable. Don’t go into an environment that is highly competitive or prone to intrigue. It is easier to find a harmonious and friendly environment where they can thrive.

Of course, introverts also have many advantages.

You are steady and not exaggerated, and others will recognize you;

You are thoughtful and careful, and others will recognize you;

You are friendly and helpful to others, Others will recognize it;

…

These require an environment that suits you so that you can perform well, so choose an environment that suits you!

I am also a very introverted person. I have been working for more than ten years and I have not seen many people hate me. Many of the good friends I have now developed from colleagues. So, don’t let “introverts” take the blame anymore. Others won’t hate you just because you are introverted. At most, many people will think you are boring, unsociable, and unable to play together.

1. Put away your little temper and personality, no one is always willing to "spoil you".

In the workplace, the greatest relationship is the relationship between colleagues. Among colleagues, there is more of a relationship of interest and sometimes competition. Therefore, don’t expect your colleagues to tolerate you, pamper you, and pamper you as much as your family and friends. If you are always selfish, self-centered, and don't consider whether your actions affect others, it would be strange if others don't hate you.

Two, try not to cause trouble to others, which is one of the biggest principles in the mixed workplace.

I used to have a colleague, and many people hated him. Why? Because he always brings a lot of unnecessary trouble to others. Several colleagues are responsible for the same project, and they often cause various problems in the project due to his reasons.

He either procrastinates the work and waits until the deadline, just messing around; or he is careless, causing problems with data or something. The most bizarre thing is that when a certain project is halfway through, he takes the project materials and leaves without saying goodbye.

Therefore, if you want others not to hate you, try not to cause trouble to others because of you. It's actually not that difficult to do this. You just need to complete your assigned work with quality and quantity. Even if it is impossible to do it due to lack of ability or some objective reasons, it is necessary to communicate clearly with the stakeholders in advance so that they can be prepared in advance.

Being introverted is not your fault. Besides, there are very few truly extreme introverts in this world.

Because everyone’s personality is so different, it is difficult to summarize so many people with just a few personality traits, so I have to tell you the truth. People’s personality traits are directly proportional to the number of people in the world. There are thousands of different personalities among all living beings. Just for the sake of convenience, we like to classify and label people's personalities. This makes it easier to recognize and much simpler, but it may be far from your actual personality.

I take the trouble to tell you this, just to tell you that your so-called introversion is too general. Even if you don't know how to get along with colleagues, there are still many details in it. If you don't come up with these details and cases, it will be difficult to judge why you are not good at communicating with your colleagues. What is the reason? Maybe it's not because of personality at all, but maybe just different cognitions.

In addition, you said that others hate you, is it something you perceive yourself, or is it someone else who tells you?

First of all, others may not hate you, but you are just too sensitive. Secondly, not everyone may hate you, there are always those who don’t. What I hate about you again may not be because of your introversion, but for other reasons.

Look, let me sort out this problem for you. In fact, I really want to understand you and ask this question, what should I do? Do you want to improve your relationship with your colleagues, or do you want others to stop hating you so much?

Let me guess that you have both of these purposes. Then, it means that you have the will to improve, and things will be easier to handle. I'll give you a few words, I hope you can remember them.

We are human and have needs, and so do our colleagues. For example, if a colleague needs to move a chair or print a document, you can help him or her with just a little effort when the other person is busy.

In addition, people have psychological needs. When a colleague does a good job and she needs appropriate praise, you should give it without hesitation, but it must be sincere and don't appear to be deliberate or inexpressive.

Even if you give a little more compliments, you won't lose a piece of meat. If you really don't like to talk, then do more and talk less. Especially if you do more things that others need and like, you will naturally gain the favor of your colleagues over time.

When a person has the will to change, this is the beginning of change. But how to change requires some strategies. Remember, don’t imagine that you can change yourself overnight.

After all, you can’t do it without taking any magic medicine. You don’t need to change your basic personality and life pursuits. All you need to change is your relationship with your colleagues.

Then you can choose a point, for example, you don’t like to praise others, overcome this point first, and cognitively abandon the idea that insisting on complimenting others is to please others. It doesn't matter if you feel embarrassed. If you praise me a few times, you'll get used to it and people won't care. If you don’t know how to praise, you can speak awkwardly, which will make you appear more sincere and real. Praise too much and make it a habit to praise others, and you will naturally succeed.

In addition to starting to change from a certain point, you also need to make some adjustments and changes to the people you hate. Understand the specific reasons why the other person hates you? If you can't change the reasons why others hate you, then don't spend too much energy on improving your relationship with them. If the other person's dislike is indeed justified and he can make changes at the same time, why don't you make adjustments?

Never rationalize yourself, have the courage to admit your shortcomings, and have the determination to change your problems.

The most important thing is that you must be sincere and don't hide it, especially your shortcomings. You should be self-deprecating when you should be ashamed of yourself, and you should be self-deprecating when you should be self-deprecating, and let your colleagues discover your shortcomings. On the other hand, I will gradually understand you and accept you.

Do you think so?

There is a very philosophical saying:

Don’t be afraid if you have problems. What you are afraid of is that you know you have problems but don’t seek changes.

Let’s change this sentence to:

Don’t be afraid of being introverted. What’s scary is that you know you are introverted but don’t change it.

You are very introverted, you cannot get along with your colleagues, and others hate you. These are three things. Some of them have an inevitable causal connection, and some do not.

I don’t know very well what causes introversion, and I don’t want to figure it out. I just know that as long as you are determined, you want to change something, even if it is only a partial change, or If it is said to be a change in certain situations, then you will definitely be able to change it.

The suggestions are as follows:

These will force you to actively communicate with others. In the long run, your courage will definitely become stronger, and your introversion will also change. .

In fact, your inability to get along with colleagues has little to do with your introversion. Getting along with colleagues relies more on respect, and the main thing that maintains relationships between colleagues is work.

No matter how introverted you are, simple communication at work is still a must, right? Even if you don't communicate face to face, you can still communicate through emails and internal communication systems, so this has little to do with introversion.

The suggestions are as follows:

If two people hate you on the same person, this may be an exception, and it may be their fault. But if many people hate you, then the problem must be with you.

Of course, this may not have anything to do with introversion, because if you are introverted, the big deal is that you don’t have any communication. No communication will not make others hate you. No communication will only make others ignore you or ignore you.

If others hate you, it may be because you don’t know how to get along with others.

The most important thing in getting along with others is two things, one is speech and the other is behavior. In other words, at least one or both of what you say or what you do is annoying, causing others to dislike you.

Now that we know why, you might as well make improvements in your speech and behavior.

I have given you a lot of suggestions above, so I won’t repeat them here.

The last thing I want to say is:

Introversion is not a communication barrier, so introversion is not an excuse for you to have problems getting along with your colleagues. Go boldly and seek changes.

If you don’t mind, I will tell you the true meaning of introversion. Introversion is actually closed-minded, selfish, self-centered, intoxicated in self-entertainment without caring about the feelings of others. In your life, in your subconscious mind, you are afraid that others will see your emptiness or incompetence or shortcomings, and you are afraid that others will look down on you. You are trying to figure out what others think of you. In order to hide your inner feelings, you are unwilling to interact with others. Worrying about gains and losses, thinking too much. On the surface, introverts are fragile, but in fact they are very strong inside. On the other hand, you are arrogant. This is my virtue and this habit. I will do whatever you like.

When others poke your pain points and you want to change the status quo,

First, you haven’t found a good way.

Second, you are unwilling to step out of your way. Enjoy the situation,

Find a good friend or family member to supervise yourself, open your heart, and embrace your colleagues and people around you with "love",