The prospective daughter-in-law meets her parents-in-law for the first time and is educated in "female virtues" by her mother-in-law. Can she still marry in this kind of family?

01.

When many girls in life are in love, they only care about whether their boyfriend is good enough and good enough to them, but for this man’s family How the relationship is, how the man's parents are, etc., but he never cares.

Indeed, love is a matter between two people. As long as two people get along happily, everything else is unimportant.

However, when a relationship develops into marriage, it is no longer just a matter of two people, but a matter of integration between two families. At this time, if a woman only considers the emotional factor, she will not be careful enough.

You know, after a woman chooses a man to get married, she has to face the other person’s parents in life. Even if they don’t live together, the relationship between the man and his parents, the parents’ attitude towards the marriage, etc. will all affect the marriage. to the development of this marriage.

Among the people I have come into contact with, the reason why many women who are wives are unhappy in their marriages is not because the relationship between the couple is not good, but because of the excessive interference of the men’s parents after marriage and the men’s negative attitude toward their parents. Caused by excessive foolishness and filial piety.

So, before a woman gets married, she must do her homework on the man’s family. Only when a woman fully understands a man's parents' personality and temperament, and knows what problems the man's family of origin may bring, can she make the right decision between marrying or not marrying, otherwise she may push herself towards misfortune.

02.

So, how can women take the initiative to understand these? Apart from hearing this from your boyfriend, the best time is when you meet them.

At this time, if the parents-in-law behave lovingly and justly, although it cannot be said that it is 100% true to their true intentions, there is always a high possibility of good things happening. And if the parents-in-law show strength and make things difficult at this time, then the days to come will not be much better.

It was through her first meeting with her parents-in-law that Xiaolu saw clearly their attitude towards her and what her future marriage would be like, so she gave up the idea of ??marrying this man.

Xiaolu has been in love with this boyfriend for more than two years, and she took her boyfriend to meet her parents very early. The parents don't have any objections to this boyfriend, saying that as long as their daughter feels good and happy, they will respect Xiaolu's choice.

During the relationship, her boyfriend never took the initiative to take her to meet her parents, and explained that her parents required him to take the girl to meet her parents only when the relationship was stable enough. However, in the phone calls and videos with her boyfriend and parents, Xiaolu also had a few chats with them, and she felt quite approachable.

As the relationship between the two gradually became stronger, they naturally began to consider the issue of marriage. At this time, her boyfriend naturally happily took Xiaolu to meet her parents.

03.

Before going to meet her boyfriend’s parents, Xiaolu’s mother reminded Xiaolu that she should be more diligent when arriving at her boyfriend’s house, take the initiative to do everything, and take the opportunity to express herself Take care of yourself and don't let your husband's family pick a fight, otherwise you won't be welcomed if you get married in the future.

However, Xiaolu didn't think so. She felt that she was not married yet and she would be a guest when she went to their home. What really wanted to test was the character and attitude of her boyfriend's family.

The day before she went to meet her parents, Xiaolu thought about possible situations that might arise overnight and planned how she would deal with them. However, what actually happened was far worse than she thought, and she had no expectations for this marriage at all.

On that day, Xiaolu and her boyfriend came to her parents-in-law’s house very early with gifts, and her parents-in-law welcomed them in with smiles. Since it was still early for dinner, her boyfriend took off his coat and put it on the sofa. Xiaolu then put her coat on her boyfriend's clothes, and the two of them sat together and started chatting.

At the beginning, the father-in-law and mother-in-law chatted with Xiaolu about some trivial matters, nothing more than about Xiaolu and her boyfriend and the situation at Xiaolu's family.

After a while, the mother-in-law paused and said to Xiaolu: "Daughter, I didn't take care of you when you were in love before. Don't have any objections. After all, everything was not good at that time. Sure. But now that we are almost a family, we don’t have any worries. If my mother-in-law has something to say, she has to say yes.

”

04.

After hearing this, Xiaolu hurriedly replied: “You can say whatever you want. We have little experience as juniors, so there must be many things that we need to rely on for your guidance.” Woolen cloth. "

The mother-in-law then pointed to their coats and said: "In the future, you can't just put these clothes on men's clothes. This will suppress men's luck, especially women's underwear and the like. Don't let it go like this, otherwise the man will have bad luck. "The mother-in-law said while putting Xiaolu's clothes under her boyfriend's clothes.

After hearing what her mother-in-law said, Xiaolu's face was full of surprise, and she didn't know what to say for a moment.

< p>At this time, the mother-in-law continued: "It's not your fault. Today's young people still respect too few traditions. But to be my daughter-in-law, you must first understand the rules. It's okay if you don't understand it now. I will teach you slowly in the future. , you just need to understand that in a couple, the man is the sky, the woman is the earth, and the earth cannot overshadow the sky. ”

This episode made Xiaolu very embarrassed, and the chat became awkward. After a while, the mother-in-law got up and said that she was going to prepare cooking, and asked Xiaolu to come over and help. It was best to show her Show your hands to your parents-in-law.

Xiao Lu was thinking last night that if her parents-in-law asked her to work, she would do nothing, but at this moment she didn’t have the nerve to say it, so she got up and followed her mother-in-law. Later. But after thinking about it, Xiaolu came up with an idea and asked her boyfriend to help. Xiaolu wanted to see if her parents-in-law could be fair to them.

05.

< p>As a result, the mother-in-law turned to Xiaolu and said, "You let him, a grown man, enter the kitchen. It will be so embarrassing if word spreads. In the future, others will not only laugh at your husband, but they will also laugh at you as a daughter-in-law." After saying that, she waved to her son and asked him to continue sitting back.

After entering the kitchen, her mother-in-law asked Xiaolu what she could do. Xiaolu was a little depressed and said that she had never cooked much. , her mother-in-law asked her to help wash the vegetables.

While washing the vegetables, Xiaolu listened to her mother-in-law nagging, "It's not good for a woman to not know how to cook or do housework. After getting married. These are all necessary skills for women. The male is the outsider and the female is the domestic. This is accumulated over many years of experience. If these traditions are not followed, then the married family will definitely be unstable. ”

My mother-in-law was just like this. During the whole cooking process, she kept talking about various aspects of life, what should a daughter-in-law do, how should she take care of a man, and what are the female virtues that a daughter-in-law should have. Wait. How could Xiaolu listen to this? All she could think about was whether she had chosen the wrong person.

Soon, the food was ready and the dishes were arranged neatly. At this time, the father-in-law and his boyfriend came to the table very naturally, and then the mother-in-law asked Xiaolu to sit down.

During the meal, the mother-in-law quickly talked about the future inheritance of the family line. She said that when she was pregnant, she was worried that she would be a daughter, so she was nervous and panicked at the time. But she felt relieved after she gave birth to a son.

06.

My mother-in-law was very concerned about the child. Lu said: "Now that the second child is open, you can have a second chance to pass on the family lineage. This is not about favoring sons over daughters, but something that a wife should consider for her husband's family. Continuing the family tradition is a major matter for women. ”

Afterwards, the mother-in-law talked a lot, and Xiaolu couldn’t listen at all. She just wanted to end the conversation as soon as possible. Finally, after dinner, Xiaolu passively cleaned up with her mother-in-law. After finishing the kitchen and listening to them talking for a while, Xiaolu finally left her parents-in-law's house with her boyfriend.

On the way back, Xiaolu didn't say a word, but her boyfriend kept praising her mother's cooking. He even joked that he wanted Xiaolu to become his mother’s teacher so that he could eat delicious food every day.

After Xiaolu came out to calm down for a while, she finally figured it out, so she told her boyfriend. The boyfriend was very surprised and asked Xiaolu why.

Xiaolu said: "In the eyes of your parents, women should have no status and should accommodate and take care of men. , you should regard your husband as your god. This kind of female virtue in their eyes is not virtue at all, but a derogation of women. Whoever marries such parents-in-law will suffer! "

The boyfriend said hurriedly: "Aren't you looking for trouble? You are not marrying them by marrying me. They can say whatever they like and think whatever they like. It's enough for me to be nice to you. Well.

”

07.

Xiao Lu thought about it and said to her boyfriend: “If you had just retorted and said something from my standpoint, maybe I would still believe it.” You, but you have never spoken for me once from the beginning to the end. In fact, you are pretty much what they think. Forget it, let's just end it like this. If we break up now, no one owes anyone anything. ”

In this way, Xiaolu and her boyfriend broke up decisively. Although her boyfriend tried to save the relationship many times, he finally gave up due to Xiaolu’s tough and determined attitude.

Some people may say that Xiaolu is unfortunate to have met such a pair of parents-in-law, especially a mother-in-law who deeply believes that men are superior to women. But I think Xiaolu is lucky because she was married before. You can see the other person clearly and avoid an unhappy life.

You know, there are countless women around us who are not so lucky. They never think about the family behind the man from the beginning. I easily believed in a man's unilateral promise, and ended up in a quagmire, unable to get fairness and justice in the marriage.

In fact, as a mother-in-law, I hope that my son will find a good woman, and I hope to help my daughter-in-law grow up through words and deeds. , these are originally understandable and acceptable, but the standards cannot be biased and cannot be at the expense of the equality that the daughter-in-law deserves.

But unfortunately, there are still many people in life who have conservative ideas. , regarding some old rules that are obviously inconsistent with social development as traditions, and demanding this from yourself and others, will only become an obstacle in life.

08.

Like Xiaolu. My boyfriend’s mother regards it as a tradition that men are superior to women, and regards serving men and belittling women as “female virtues”. This is unfair and disrespectful to women.

In fact, female virtues are not bad in themselves. On the contrary, many of them are worthy of promotion, but there are many people with ulterior motives who have added some feudal dross to them, completely changing the flavor of a good marriage.

Here, both men and women need to have some good qualities and should take the initiative to make themselves better. This will make our marriage better and make the days more enjoyable.

And. The premise of all this is equality and respect between men and women. If marriage loses equality and respect, then it’s okay not to.