Goodbye joke

1. It is said that a Japanese boy was traveling in China ... On his way back, he took a taxi ... on the way, A car passed the taxi ... The Japanese boy saw it ... and said, "Hehe ... Toyota ... Made in Japan ... Too fast ... Hehe ..." Soon another car drove by ... The Japanese boy farted again ... "... Nissan ... Made in Japan ... There was no cure ... Hehe .. Another motorcycle passed by. … Japanese Benz is getting off the bus … Ask the driver how much it costs … (It's time for everyone to applaud … it's time to save the national prestige …) … "10000 dollars …" The driver said, "Shit! Why is it so expensive? ... a black car? ... "..." Instrument ... Sony ... Made in Japan ... Too fast ... There is no cure ... " ...

2. A China man suddenly had loose bowels while visiting Britain. He ran into the public toilet and finally solved it. He came out triumphantly humming a song, only to find a large group of people looking at him in surprise. Only then did he realize that he had entered the ladies' room in a panic. "What should I do? I can't make a fool of myself, but I can't embarrass China people. " He immediately put on a smile, bowed 90 degrees, shouted "Sayonara, bye bye bye ~ ~", and then swaggered away. The crowd behind frowned and muttered in disgust: "Oh, shit ~ ~ ~ Japanese! ! ! "

A Japanese came to Beijing to study Chinese hard. Ten years later, he can speak not only Mandarin, but also Cantonese and Hakka without any Japanese accent. "No one should treat me like the devil anymore …" he thought. One day he traveled to a small fishing port in Tianjin and saw an old man catching shrimps. So on a whim, he confidently greeted the old man in Mandarin: "Old man! Do you know where I come from? " The old man replied, "Your accent is terrible …" The devil was very happy and thought, "I didn't expect that my Chinese has improved to such an extent that it can be called perfect …" At this time, the old man glared at him and said, "If you can count the shrimps I caught clearly, I will know where you are from." The devil began to count with a fairly standard pronunciation: "One, two, three, ... fifty ... one hundred ... two hundred ..." After counting for more than an hour, he proudly replied: "Nine thousand seven hundred and eighty-seven shrimps! Old man, I think you'll never guess where I come from! ! The old man smiled and said, "I know! You must be Japanese! Hahaha ... The devil was very surprised, but he still asked the old man in standard Mandarin, "Why are you?" ... you ... you know what? The old man replied, "Ah, it's very simple." People in China ask how heavy fish and shrimp are, not as stupid as you! "

One day, a Japanese working in China went to the countryside to shoot wild ducks. When he finally shot a wild duck, the wild duck fell into a farmer's yard. The Japanese climbed over the fence to catch their prey. But the farmer who witnessed everything shook his shotgun and said loudly, "Look here, hunting is forbidden in China." The devil replied, "I shot the duck, so it should be mine." I do! "The farmer said," It flew over China. Did you kill him or landed in China? You come with me to the village to pay the fine! "They have been arguing about ducks. After a while, the devil said, "We should decide in the traditional way. Decide with the spirit of Japanese Bushido! " The farmer looked down on Bushido, so he asked contemptuously, "What is the method of Bushido? The devil explained, "first, I kick your ass." Then you kick my ass again, so kick each other until one of you gives up. The winner can get the duck. The farmer thought about it and agreed to take part in the competition. But the farmer asked himself to kick first to show fairness. Thinking about revenge for the villagers who were killed more than 60 years ago, he knew that he could not kill the devils. Then, the farmer in China put his leg back and slapped the devil's ass with all his strength. The poor devil fell to the ground, moaning and wailing, and rolled on the ground. Ten minutes later, he tried to get up, gritted his teeth and said huskily, "Now it's my turn. Farmer China said, "Oh, no, this duck is yours." You can go back. "

An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said,' I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board. "Americans are the first to get the board. He said,' Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass. "Mat, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people get down slowly and say slowly,' Come, give me the Japanese mat. "……

6. Americans, British, China and Japanese discuss their own military affairs together. The Japanese said, "We advocate Bushido and are not afraid of sacrifice. I dare you to test your marksmanship with an apple on your head. " So he put an apple on his head, and the American turned and walked back 20 steps. Then turn around and pat, and the apple is smashed. He said proudly, "I'm Hunter." The Japanese put another apple on his head. The Englishman turned and walked back 50 steps, then turned back with a gun and the apple was smashed. He proudly said, "I'm Boone (007)." The Japanese put a small apple on their heads. China turned and took three steps back, then turned with one shot, and his head was blown off. China proudly said, "I'm sorry."

7. An American, a German, a Japanese and an American are sitting on a plane. Halfway through, the plane suddenly ran out of gas. The captain announced that someone had to jump off the plane to reduce the weight, so the American showed personal heroism and went to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live America and other countries! ! Then I jumped! The plane continued to fly ... at this moment, the captain announced that the weight was still too heavy, and one person had to jump! So the Germans stood up, walked to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live the German Empire! Jumped down, too The plane continued to fly ... At this moment, the captain announced: No, it's still heavy, and one more person must jump! China people glanced at the Japanese, stood up and walked to the hatch of the plane. The Japanese quickly came over and held China's hand tightly: "Good brother, I won't forget you! China people shouted: Long live People's Republic of China (PRC)! ! Then I kicked the Japanese down with one foot! !