Innate temperament: Understand children and teach students in accordance with their aptitude.

Natural temperament refers to the personality tendency brought by a child at birth. If the child's personality tendency is observed earlier, it will be easier for parents to get along with him and parenting will be more strategic.

People's natural temperament can be divided into four types: optimism, melancholy, calmness and radicalism. In fact, everyone has the above four qualities, but one of them accounts for the largest proportion in our personality, which is manifested as our dominant temperament. However, it does not mean that people who want to have a temperament have all the advantages and disadvantages of this temperament type. Just have a higher tendency. After all, a person's personality is determined by his innate temperament and acquired learning. Why should we learn innate temperament? If we are going to raise a plant, the first thing we need to know is what kind of flower it is. What kind of fertilizer do you need? How much sunshine and water do you need? Plants have different natures, some like to bask in the sun, while others need to avoid the fierce sunshine. Some need a lot of water, and some will wither if watered too much. In the same way, when we are raising children, we should also learn to find out. What kind of children do you belong to and in what ways are you more talented? What aspects are prone to problems? Encourage him in talent and give him a chance. Let him fully develop in this part. In terms of problems, guide children to avoid problems as soon as possible. The advantage of this is that the process of parenting is twice the result with half the effort. More importantly, the child is happier and he has more opportunities to do things better in his own field. Get more sense of accomplishment. And if you find the wrong direction, the child can grow up, but not necessarily so well, because he can't show his best side. Of course, parents who are very keen and good at introspection don't have to learn parenting knowledge. They can also be good parents by observing their children carefully to meet their needs. Even if they try, make mistakes and have strong sensitivity, parents will constantly adjust their state and the way they get along with their children. However, the problem is that when more parents face their children's problems, their first reaction is: How can this child be like this? In other words, it is no problem to use this method when you are old. Why can't you do it when you have a second child? There must be something wrong with him. Instead of self-reflection, they blame children for being too weak, lazy and irritable. They don't know that this is related to the child's natural temperament. When a child shows these qualities, it means that he must have another advantage. Just as a coin has a reverse side, it must have a positive side. Parents like to stare at their children's dissatisfaction. But ignore the shining side of the child. In the process of raising children, even before their arrival. Have some understanding of children first, and have some reserves of parenting knowledge. You can take fewer detours and accept children more easily. Instead of getting angry all the time.

How to observe the child's natural temperament, the younger the child, the easier it is to observe. Especially when you are 0~3 years old. When children grow up, they begin to imitate their parents or people they like, and their personality is more acquired. In fact, when we have knowledge reserves, as long as we are careful enough, every link of children's growth can reflect their natural temperament. How did he learn to crawl? How to learn to walk? How to learn to speak? How to make friends? The following are four typical manifestations of natural temperament.

Happy-going.

Features: wide range of interests, like to talk, enthusiastic and enjoy life.

Advantages: optimistic, lively, compassionate and good at making friends.

Disadvantages: impulsive, impetuous, giving up halfway, fragile, easy to regret.

Type B melancholy: sentimental, highly sensitive, idealistic, pursuing truth, goodness and beauty.

Advantages: loyal and reliable, brilliant, profound and thorough.

Disadvantages: obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, egoism, pessimism and passivity.

C-type radical:

Features: determination, action, experience and pursuit of achievement.

Advantages: Brave and decisive, persevering in the end, not afraid of difficulties, strong self-discipline.

Disadvantages: irritable, unsympathetic, too stubborn, arrogant and complacent.

Type d calm type:

Features: slow, cautious, gentle and steady, pursuing harmony.

Advantages: easy to get along with, happy-go-lucky, considerate and tolerant.

Disadvantages: slow and chaotic, unrepentant, unwilling to express, indifferent to watch.

How to teach students in accordance with their aptitude?

1 Develop in strengths and learn from weaknesses. No matter what kind of natural temperament a child belongs to, every trait of him is bound to be accompanied by advantages and disadvantages. Everyone has shortcomings and advantages, so parents should give their children opportunities as much as possible to develop their advantages. This may be easier to do, which means, first of all, I didn't expect him to have another negative advantage. A child who is not good at math may be particularly talented in language arts, unless we expect this child to be a perfect child. Otherwise, there will inevitably be shortcomings and weaknesses. Secondly, shortcomings mean that we should set aside more time for our children. Poor math doesn't mean that we don't have to learn and can't learn. It means that children may spend a lot of time on this, but they are still not very good. It doesn't matter. Knowing this trait of children, you can rest assured and let them reach the basic level. Don't let children label themselves as I just can't do it. However, the inherent shortcomings are not an excuse for willfulness. Lotte-type children are not too stingy with money, and radical children are easy to get upset. Does that mean they can attack others in luxury or at will? Natural temperament is not an excuse to help parents and children escape. On the one hand, we should understand the characteristics of children, on the other hand, we should help children learn in behavior and gradually improve their character. Ideally, we should still have the advantages that are the easiest to excel, and accumulate them slowly, so as to make use of this trait or advantage in our future work, and at the same time, we should learn the shortcomings slowly to prevent them from becoming obstacles on our way forward.

2 No label. There is no need for parents to tell their children, and there is no need to discuss what kind of natural temperament he is in front of them. After you know something about ourselves, just observe and pay attention silently. Let children accumulate self-confidence and sense of accomplishment in their strengths and learn from their weaknesses. Everyone has a long road to maturity, and natural temperament is just a background color for each of us. People who are good at learning will constantly absorb nutrition from the characteristics and advantages of others and enrich themselves. Once a label is attached, it is easy to prevent children from absorbing different nutrients.

According to the temperament type of children, we sometimes observe that in families with many children, some children grow up better and some are particularly bad. The reason is that parents don't understand that children with different personalities need different things. Lucky children just inadvertently match the nutrition provided by their parents, while unfortunate children can't be raised inexplicably. For example, compared with other types of depressed children, it is especially necessary to have a stable relationship between parents. Families with good psychological nutrition supply are the proudest children. Because these children are the most sensitive. The ability to introspect and learn from others is particularly strong. When the family provides them with a stable and harmonious environment, they will absorb nutrition from all aspects to the maximum extent. But once the family environment is bad, melancholy children are also the most vulnerable. Because the negative energy they feel will always stay in the body, causing emotional and psychological problems. In such an environment, cheerful and calm children are relatively safe. So, if we can know more clearly what kind of children we have, what do they have? What are the special needs? The parenting process will be smoother and easier. Parents are temperamental tendencies in different proportions. People's natural temperament can be divided into melancholy, calm, optimistic and radical, but it doesn't mean that everyone has only one temperament tendency, and everyone has four temperament tendencies. Only in different proportions. For example, a child is 60% melancholy, 20% cheerful, 15% radical and 5% calm. Melancholy is dominant, so the child is said to be melancholy, and there is also a difference between 60% and 80%. Obviously, the melancholy characteristics of the latter will be more obvious. In addition, age and gender will also affect the innate temperament tendency. For example, boys will have more cheerful factors, while girls will have more melancholy factors.

A happy child cares most about relationships, has the advantage of interpersonal communication, has a wide range of interests, likes to communicate, is warm and enthusiastic, and enjoys life. Advantages, optimistic and lively, grasp the present, strong sympathy, good at making friends. Shortcomings, impulsiveness, giving up halfway, fragility and easy to regret. Parenting focus: reflect on financial planning and be responsible for yourself. Just like women with melancholy traits usually account for a certain proportion. Every child will have some optimism, such as positive, optimistic and enthusiastic. Sometimes when we see some cheerful characteristics of children, we will think that the temperament type that dominates children is cheerful, but it is not necessarily so. A child is an optimistic child only when most of his behavioral tendencies show the following characteristics.

Personality keywords: positive optimism, interpersonal skills, love to enjoy, eager for affirmation. Positive optimism, as the name implies, is a major feature of personality. They are used to looking at things from an optimistic perspective. They tend to focus on what they have first, not what they lack. In the process of doing things, we also pay more attention to the success side and ignore the failure or mistake side. The advantage is that such children are more positive and optimistic. Don't take it to heart when you do something wrong. The downside is that you are easy to make mistakes again and have good interpersonal skills. Happy children have almost all the advantages of dealing with interpersonal relationships, such as rich feelings and compassion. He laughs most easily when he hears a simple joke, and cries most easily when he hears other people's sadness. It is easy to be moved by others. Happy children are not deeply emotional, but they are rich. If a melancholy child can grasp some subtle feelings of others, then a natural child means that he will feel it only when you say it. Once he feels it, he will easily cry and laugh, because the expression of feelings is by external crying, laughing and shouting. He does have unhappy things and won't keep them in his heart for long. He was angry for a while, but if he gets angry again, the past will be over and he won't hold a grudge. This is also a great advantage of their interpersonal communication. People who associate with him can be more relaxed and not afraid to step on his mines. Even if you step on a happy person, you will not take it too seriously. Generally speaking, happy children are truly extroverted children. Warm, I like to express warmth. Warm and cheerful children like to associate with many people. On various occasions, he is the role of adjusting the atmosphere. He likes telling jokes to attract others' attention and make others happy at the same time. It's just that this happy child is more suitable for a job of interacting with people when he grows up, but not for a job of facing computers and machines. He has a great sense of accomplishment and enjoys talking with people at work and helping others through work. Lotte children like to spend money and enjoy themselves since childhood. When they grow up, he also loves spending money and making money. Lotte children live in the present. Because she can do things according to her physical feelings, it is difficult to restrain herself with the knowledge in her head, and her self-control ability is poor. When you think about it, you have to do it, enjoy it and experience it. When a happy child wants to eat a candy, it is difficult for parents to teach her to give it up rationally. He feels that the driving force is too strong, it is useless to talk more, and even punish the children. Eager for affirmation, every child wants to be praised and recognized by his parents. However, no type is as eager as a happy child. The most important desire in life is to be affirmed, praised and recognized by those who value it. If parents can't provide this kind of nutrition for their children, they won't be attached to home, just as all trees need sunshine, water and soil nutrition. The difference is that different kinds of trees have different requirements for these elements. Sometimes, just a little sunshine is not good, and too much sunshine is not good. Happy children are the kind of trees that yearn for sunshine praise and recognition. He simply can't stand it. You can't see him or pay attention to him. He especially likes talking loudly in the crowd, joking to draw attention to him and giving him positive feedback. If the need for affirmation and praise is not met, it is particularly easy for him to seek outside. The characteristics of compassion and chivalry helped others, and he also gained the psychological nutrition he longed for most. Parenting key words, quality relationship, playing warm cards, planning and responsibility. Quality relationship, parents of happy children must establish a good parent-child relationship with their children, because what he cares about most is relationship. Bad relationship, parents can't educate him. His logic is that I don't care about anything but people. Only when I care about you will I care about your feelings. Only when you care about your feelings will you care about what you teach. Lotte is willing to please people, but only if I like you. For those who want to strengthen children's leadership, we must not use criticism, but show interest when children do the right thing. Can you tell me? How did you do that? Give children a chance to talk about things in detail, and then they will do better and better. Give up criticism, actively pay attention to him on the basis of good parent-child relationship, guide him to play warm cards and get along with happy children. If parents can learn to guide him with warm feelings, it will reduce many unnecessary disputes, such as greeting. If you say that if you see grandpa's name, you are a polite child, then most children will not buy it, but on the other hand, if you see grandpa's name, he will feel warm in his heart and he will listen. What he can listen to is always related to people's feelings, especially important feelings, such as children hitting people. You said that what you did was very bad and wrong, and people would reject you. This is the influence of negative results, which has no influence on him. But if you say that mom cares about you and you love you very much, I believe you can do it, and she will listen more. Just one day later, Xiong Haizi asked him to be as self-disciplined as possible, only having warm feelings, plans and responsibilities with others. Happy children are not task-oriented, that is to say, doing a good job is not the most important thing for him, but he pays attention to the relationship between people. As a direct result of this trait, he will neglect his responsibility for the sake of relationship. Well, for example, in the process of doing a job when I grow up in the future, I suddenly get a call from a friend and need help. He can leave his job and help his friends first, regardless of the boss's objection. This is different from the task-oriented melancholy type. As long as he promises to finish one thing, he will finish the task slowly and take care of others. He will explain to others first. I know you have a problem, but I will help you after I finish the work. It is precisely because Xing Letian is often criticized by others. In fact, an irresponsible person has no time guarantee just because he has to spend a lot of time comforting others. So the shortcomings of this part require parents to guide their children from an early age. He needs to make a choice and be responsible as promised. Such a child can easily agree to other people's demands, but it is easy to avoid giving up in the face of excessive pressure. Only deliberate guidance can make children's persistence last longer. In addition, Lotte children are easily unplanned because of their poor self-discipline. We can also guide children to look for more information before doing something. Be responsible for your choices when making decisions, including money management and planning. You should also learn from an early age, otherwise it is easy to form the habit of spending money indiscriminately and spending money without a plan at all.

B, melancholy children. A natural perfectionist with deep feelings in his heart. Features: highly sensitive, idealistic, pursuing truth, goodness and beauty, delicate and keen, loyal and reliable, talented and profound. Disadvantages: stubborn, hesitant, self-centered, pessimistic and passive. Parenting focus: let go, be tolerant and accept, and think positively. Melancholy children are the most sensitive and vulnerable of the four types. At this time, parents can provide a stable and positive growth environment, that is, they can learn and absorb new information at the fastest speed. On the contrary, when the family environment is unfavorable, he is more vulnerable, so providing a child with an environment that meets his needs and understanding her personality tendency is the first step of education. Personality keywords: sensitivity, delicacy, profundity, concentration and perfectionism. Sensitivity and delicacy can be said to be the origin of all personality characteristics. It is precisely because of this feature that melancholy children see, hear, feel and think more than other types of children. They are also melancholy children facing nature, and they are particularly prone to deliberately go into the clouds and fog. When deeply moved, flowers and animals will express their desire to share their feelings. Children who are equally easily moved are different in nature. Some children are spontaneously moved, and others feel moved when asked. They are also keen on observing people, and they are melancholy children. A calm child who also knocks over a glass of milk may have a different reaction from his mother. Children won't notice the difference. Mom, why are you different from us? You don't need to deliberately capture the subtle feelings when you get along with others. People's intuition is good, but others are malicious. When they are malicious, they can feel it without psychoanalysis. So it is not easy to fall into the trap and be deceived. When getting along with parents, parents' bad intentions and ideas will soon be understood. Deep concentration, once a depressed child is interested in one thing, he will put more emotion and energy into it, and his observation, understanding and experience of anything will exceed that of ordinary children. Compared with talent and enthusiasm, children who like painting in Happy Children will want to be hugged by their mothers or interact with their fathers. Melancholy children have high concentration from an early age. They can do one thing over and over again until they are satisfied. The perfect child can put away his toys thoroughly even before he is three years old. Even if mom and dad didn't deliberately teach her, she would instinctively pack up her toys. Finally, check if there are any omissions and houses in the distance. He must do one thing well, which is a great advantage for children to learn knowledge in the future. The tendency of perfectionism makes him study harder than others. What's more, they even have pictures and stories, and their learning efficiency is very high. Parenting keywords, psychological nutrition, emotional management. Psychological nutrition in interpersonal communication is based on parents giving their children enough psychological nutrition. Do this: give your child unconditional acceptance, meet his needs for security, give him the most important praise in your heart, and set an example for your child, just as a depressed child gets these hearts. Life will bloom brilliantly. Because he is very smart, as long as there is a stable and harmonious family environment as the backing, they can mobilize their greatest potential, keep learning and make progress. He is not the kind of child who needs a lot of teaching from his parents. While doing things, he will adjust the way of doing things according to the external reflection, so he is good at introspection. They learn from their mistakes faster than others, but they are good at introspection, which can easily become excessive introspection and excessive self-blame. Pursuing perfectionism can easily make children feel that they are not good enough. Once they do something wrong, they will fall into depression or even collapse, because the feelings brought by failure will be too deep and too sad. It makes it difficult for him to face failure and start over, so when the child does something wrong, it is a test of the wisdom of his parents.