Parents should be good at communicating with their children and try their best to do what, what, what and what children.

Parents are children's first teachers, which are very important for their development. How to train their children well and how to communicate with them unimpeded is a matter of great concern to every family and every parent.

Nowadays, many parents feel confused in the process of educating their children. The child was disobedient and tried everything, but it was useless. They are really helpless and don't know what to do. These problems happen to children, but the root of the disease should be found in parents, that is, parents should take medicine when the child is sick. I think the crux of the problem is that parents can't communicate well with their children.

First, what is communication?

Communication refers to getting to know each other through conversation or other means. When people inevitably collide in life, (including parents and children) need to understand and be considerate. Only through communication can they forgive each other and form * * * knowledge. Family education is the starting point and foundation of all human education. "Teaching begins at home" Parents are the children's first teachers, which is very important for their development.

Communication is human instinct, no one likes to lock himself up, and children are not born unwilling to communicate with their parents. When children are young, because they are naive and dependent on their parents, many things will be told to their parents, and the communication between parents and children is relatively smooth. When children enter adolescence, their physiology, psychology and needs have changed. If parents still stick to their original ideas, children will not find the fun of communication in front of their parents, not only will they close their ears, but the door of parent-child communication will also be closed.

Second, parent-child communication barriers.

1, parents regard academic performance as the only thing for their children. 2 1 century is the era of knowledge economy. There is nothing wrong with parents paying attention to their children's learning, but they are required to be among the best in every exam. As long as they study well, everything else is secondary. Children's learning has become a top priority for many families, and scores have become the most frequently mentioned vocabulary for parents and children. Even how many points a child scored in the exam has become a barometer of the quality of many family atmosphere. As a junior high school student said, "I won the first place in the first exam, and my parents were very happy to take me to KFC." I found that my grades can give my parents the greatest satisfaction. " Once I failed in the exam and came home with a bad test paper, and my parents showed a puzzled expression on their faces. It turns out that grades are parents' favorite children.

2. Lack of correct evaluation of children. We often hear parents ask such a question, "What if children don't like learning? What if the child is disobedient? Most parents who ask questions want to find specific ways to educate their children. Many of them feel helpless and can't ask for help after preaching, scolding and beating their children. However, they didn't think that any specific method could not be suitable for everyone. Why don't children love learning and why don't they listen to their parents? The answer is simple. Parents regard the stumbling block of communication as a method, and accusations, complaints and negative comments are full of children's ears. For example, if your academic performance is so poor, parents will deny your child as soon as they speak, which will of course cause children's disgust. Therefore, no matter what parents say, no matter what you say right or wrong, it is difficult to get children's acceptance and recognition. Everyone wants to be recognized and affirmed by others, and so does a child. When he feels that all he gets from his parents is negative comments, he will close the door to communication.

Parents like to expose their children's shortcomings. It is normal that children often have some problems when they grow up, and sometimes children are willing to correct their own problems. As parents, we should encourage them in time, give them sincere reminders and give them the courage and strength to correct their shortcomings. This is because the more mistakes children make, the more vulnerable they are, and the more they need their parents' understanding and comfort. However, some parents don't. When children appear repeatedly in the process of transformation, they use their promises as an excuse to stimulate children, dampen their self-esteem and make them worse. Children are not only too lazy to listen to this, but also more rebellious. Anyway, if you see me dead, I'll break the jar.

4. Parents and children lack the awareness of equal respect. Some parents are always condescending in front of their children. They always talk to their children with a dignified face and harsh tone, which will inevitably make them afraid, so they dare not communicate with their parents. Some children even have rebellious mentality. This will not only fail to educate children, but also block the communication between parents and children, thus artificially creating a generation gap.

Parents nag too much, which causes children's antipathy. In the study of parents and children, some education experts found that some parents and children can only say three sentences from morning till night. The child gets up in the morning. "Get up quickly, it's time, hurry up." When children leave home, they should pay attention to lectures, don't make small moves, and go home early after school. "When children come back from school, they will ask as soon as they meet." "How many points did they get in the exam?" Education experts regard these parents' chatter as "correct nonsense" and invalid orders, which makes children very disgusted. Some children say that our ears have cocoons.

6. Parents should not set an example and play an exemplary role. Parents themselves have many bad hobbies, such as playing mahjong, gambling and drinking. Don't love their jobs and dedication. Infected some bad problems to children.

All these things are different. Children hear these words, of course, not only close their ears, but also close their hearts. Over time, they are not only too lazy to listen, but also more and more rebellious.

Third, how do parents communicate with their children?

1, parents and children should be honest. Only in this way can we understand the child's mentality, know what the child is thinking and needs, and then prescribe the right medicine and give appropriate guidance and help when problems arise. For example, when children have some bad behaviors, such as internet addiction and smoking, parents should first deal with them calmly and not lose their minds. Encourage children to express their reasons or feelings in a considerate and understanding tone, skillfully use silence and listening, and appreciate the main points or overtones of children's conversation. Because of the sincere and friendly attitude of parents, children will vent their inner feelings without reservation. Through listening and dialogue, parents will gradually guide their children to rethink the core of the problem and explore solutions together. Children will know that their parents respect him, are willing to accept him, understand him and help him. Of course, children will listen to their parents and correct their bad habits.

2. To achieve good communication, parents' gentle attitude is very important. If parents are always in a condescending position in front of their children, and always talk to them with a dignified face and harsh tone, children will be afraid, so they dare not communicate with their parents, and some children will even have rebellious psychology. This will not only fail to educate children, but also block the communication between parents and children. Only when parents treat their children with a gentle attitude can they make them feel love and warmth, and make them willing to confide in their parents and achieve the goal of being willing to receive education. On the contrary, parents beat their children in a rude and barbaric way, which will make them afraid. It is foolish to hit children, and there will only be two results in the end. One is to beat a bully. If you beat him, he will beat others. The second is to beat a loser, who is afraid. Is this what parents want to see? Of course not, so we still have to reason with our children and convince others.

3. Get along with each other as equals and treat children as friends. True friends are regardless of age, sex, position or status. To make friends with children, in the words of ordinary people, is to respect children and have a recognized attitude towards them, instead of asking children with adult eyes, perfect standards and standards higher than their actual age. Otherwise, children will be afraid or even wary of their parents, so they will stay away from their parents and it is impossible to show their hearts to them. Only when parents and children get along with each other on an equal footing and respect their wishes, will children regard you as a true friend and be willing to share their troubles with you, so as not to be depressed and inflated. Parents can give children the feeling of true friends. Parents are the real source of strength in children's hearts. Parents' love for children will never fail and become their spiritual pillar and permanent belonging in their hearts. An article in "Psychology of Middle School Students" points out that 94.5% of teenagers with Internet addiction are hostile to their parents. Director Tao Ran of the General Hospital of Beijing Military Region pointed out in "64 1 Clinical Psychoanalysis Report on Adolescent Internet Addiction" that the influencing factors of adolescent Internet Addiction include family, school and society, among which family is the main factor. According to the survey, 46% of teenagers with Internet addiction suffered major life trauma in their childhood. 94.5% children are hostile to their parents, and 52% children evaluate their parents' lack of warmth and understanding. How can a child who is hostile to his parents be willing to receive their parents' education?

4. Listen more and talk less when communicating with children. In the process of communicating with children, many parents always tell their children to listen, especially when their children complain about a certain problem. Parents block their children's opportunities to speak on the grounds that their wings are hard. This kind of communication is actually an obstacle for parents and children to communicate. If parents want to know their children's thoughts and feelings. We should let the child talk more, even if the child really made a mistake, parents should calm down and let him stand in the child's position and speak with sympathy and recognition. Don't interrupt the child's speech, add your own opinions and criticisms. After the feelings in the child's heart are expressed, the troubles will naturally disappear by half. Doing so can not only enhance the feelings of parent-child communication, but also make children understand that when they encounter any troubles, they will get the understanding and support of their parents when they get home. This will increase the child's sense of security. Of course, under this sense of security, children are more willing to talk and communicate with their parents and talk to their parents about their feelings and ideas.

5. Discuss educational methods with children. In order to educate their children to stay up late, many parents ask about the methods of educating their children, but they ignore a simple truth. For example, farmers grow crops and know that the nutrients most needed by crops are the best nutrients. Entrepreneurs know that the products that customers are most satisfied with are the best products, and the children's favorite methods are the best methods. Parents may wish to discuss with their children what educational methods are popular with children. What parents should do is what children are happy and willing to accept. The behavior and attitude of educators' parents have the most direct and profound influence on the objects of education. In this process, what we want to give our child, we must first make clear what he needs. For example, in the case of idolization, it is especially wise to have a parent. Her daughter's idol is Jay Chou. As a person, I don't appreciate Jay Chou, but because my daughter likes it, I will try to understand that if my parents look down on Jay Chou, there will inevitably be a generation gap. My parents said that I collect information about Jay Chou. He is a struggling genius. Teenagers like him for a reason. He lives in a single-parent family and is very filial to his mother. This is very touching. When I sell Jay Chou's books, I buy one and learn to sing his songs from my daughter. Then, we should effectively guide and treat idols rationally with children, and there will be * * * topics between mother and child. I don't think it matters that singing is ugly. The key is to communicate with children. Communication is more important than level.

Parents should give their children enough personal space. Children don't want their parents to completely control their own lives, but only want their parents to act as consultants or support talents. If they interfere too much, they will feel supervised and think that if they lose their freedom, they will feel dissatisfied, avoid their parents and create estrangement. Therefore, parents should respect their children, give them enough personal space, let them think, design and do what they want independently, and truly realize their wishes.

Parents should respect and trust their children. To respect children, we must first treat them as free, independent and complete people with unique personality, personality and dignity. Respect children's hobbies; Respect children's emotions and emotions; Respect children's personality differences; Respect children's reports and ambitions; Respect children's choices, judgments and personal wishes. Don't hurt children's self-esteem, corporal punishment or corporal punishment in disguise. Parents respect their children in order to arouse their self-esteem. The greatest sorrow of human nature is the lack of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a huge lever in a person's soul, and a person without dignity is a body. Parents respect their children, and children will respect others and society, and they will also gain respect from the outside world.

8. Parents should keep pace with the times and pay attention to the art of education. We often meet some distressed parents. They try their best to use everything, but their children just don't listen. The reason is that our parents are behind the times. Today's society is a pluralistic era, and there are many temptations in front of children. Objectively speaking, the difficulty of education has indeed increased, but our parents have not kept pace with the times and studied hard. This is a very important problem. There are 70% parents in our country who have not systematically studied the knowledge of raising children, and the methods used are mostly the continuation of the previous generation's parenting methods, and there are unchangeable methods to raise children of different ages, which is inevitable when educating children.