Complete works of father-son funny jokes

I have never seen my mother: "Look at your hands, how dirty they are! When have you ever seen my hands as dirty as yours? " Daughter: "No, Mom. I have never seen you as old as me. "

Can cows smoke? Two farm children are chatting. One suddenly asked, "Can your cow smoke?" "Are you crazy? How can cows smoke? " "Oh, then, maybe your cowshed is on fire."

Mother said, "Don't leave until tomorrow what you can finish today." The son said, "well, give me the cake just now." I ate it all today. "

Save money "Dad, you can save money!" ""save what money? Children. " "You don't have to spend money on textbooks for me this year. I have failed. "

Once a father saw his son in front of the game hall and said angrily, "You don't know anything about learning, you only play games. Nine times out of ten, I see you here! " "The son said," I am less than you once! " "

Revelation "Mom, are people really monkeys?" "yes." "Oh, no wonder there are fewer and fewer monkeys."

The father blamed the mistake on his son: "The neighbor Zhang Jia is very unhappy because you punched his son in the eye." You said it was an accident. Is it true? ""Of course it's true, "said the son." I want to hit him on the nose. "

Why is the child: "Dad, what kind of cigarette is this?" Dad: "Remember, smoke is a chimney." Child: "Oh, I see! Why is dad's nose not called' chimney'? "

A pedestrian asking for directions asked a child, "Brother, please ask me: Where do these two roads lead?" The child said, "The one on the east side can lead to my house. The one in the west, but not to my house. ...

Filial son: "What will you do if I am the first in my class?" Father: "Then I am really happy!" " "Son:" Dad, don't worry, I won't let you die! " "

The youngest son has no food to eat and always refuses to sit down. Mother asked strangely; "What's wrong with you today? Why eat standing up? " Son: "Today, in Chinese class, the teacher said,' Sit on your laurels ...'"

Football fever dad: "Hey, I told you to buy a hot water bottle. Why did you buy a football? " Son: "Football is better than hot water bottle, which saves the trouble of irrigation." Father: "But football can't keep you warm." Son: "Why not? Didn't you see in the newspaper that there will be a' football fever' around the world this year? "

Pig's son and father: "you are so stupid, you are really a pig!" " Do you know what a pig is? "Son:" Yes, it's the son of a pig. "

Another mother said, "What is the number of this question?" Son: "5". Mom: "That's clever, even if you come out so soon. Give you five cents to buy popsicles. " Son: "Mom, write another question, 100!" " "

Mother taking medicine: "Why do you always roll?" Son: "I just finished drinking medicine." I forgot to shake the medicine in the bottle before drinking. ...

After a heavy rain, Xiaoling dragged her father's heavy rain shoes to play with water. There is a hole in the rain boots, and there is water. Xiaoling thought, this is easy to handle. Just open another hole and let the water flow out. So he dug another hole in his sole with scissors. But the water in the rain boots is accumulating. Xiaoling sighed: "How many holes does the water have to open to get out?"

It backfired. "How many points did you get in this arithmetic exam?" "Three points." The words sound just fell and "pa! Bang! Hey! " Xiaoming got his father's three soles on his ass. "What's your score in the next exam?" "I don't want it next time."

Umbrella mushroom: "Dad, do mushrooms grow in wet places?" Dad: "Yes, I grew up in a rainy place." Son: "Oh, no wonder mushrooms grow into umbrellas!" " "

Sentence-making teacher: "Please use' whatever …' to make sentences." "

Student: "The teacher shouldn't ask me any questions that I can't answer."

Honest boy A visiting lady wanted to know why her little nephew behaved so well.

"That's very kind of you." She said, "Why are you so obedient?"

The little nephew replied, "Because my mother promised to buy me a toy panda, provided that I didn't laugh at your garlic nose and Fanny's ears."