My brother fell, and my sister dared not ask her mother for mercy. Your quirk is stabbing a child with a knife. what do you think?

I took adzuki bean to McDonald's for dinner, because it was morning and there were not many people, only two tables. One table is me and adzuki bean, and the other table is mother with two children-sister and brother. My sister is about 4 years old and my brother is about 2 years old.

Children are lively and active. The brothers and sisters at the next table ate for a while and began to play in the open space. Later, my brother suddenly ran by himself, accidentally bumped into the corner of the table, fell to the ground and burst into tears.

The mother at the next table rushed to pick up her brother. Who knows that my sister's first reaction at this time is to wave at her mother and say, I'm sorry, mom, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. In a hurry, she walked backwards for fear that her mother would hit her.

The mother at the next table didn't say much with a straight face, and soon went out with her brother in her arms. My sister followed silently, and my mother didn't look back.

Seeing this, my heart suddenly sank. My little sister encountered this kind of conditioned reflex and apologized for avoiding it at the first time, indicating that the mother at the next table often accused her of complaining or even beating and scolding her after encountering this kind of thing at home.

I guess this mother often thinks that her brother's fall was caused by her sister, or why her sister didn't take good care of her brother.

But it's not my sister's fault. It's really good to force children to beg for mercy.

With the opening of the "second child policy", more and more families began to have a second child. As parents, I always want to leave a brother and sister for Dabao to avoid the loneliness of the only child growing up. Moreover, I am old, and there is always less pressure for two children to take care of two old people.

There is nothing wrong with this idea, but with the birth of the second child, many children's psychological problems can not be ignored, one of which is the harm that "eccentricity" brings to children.

First, "eccentricity" is a sword that hurts children.

Many parents disapprove of "partiality" and think that they are all their own children anyway, and I have the final say. I neglected to take care of Dabao after giving birth to Bauer, but I didn't know Dabao needed more care at this time. If I don't guide him correctly, it may lead to family tragedy.

It is reported that Ms. Li neglected to pay attention to Dabao in the process of giving birth to a second child, and others embellished it, which triggered a family tragedy: her 5-year-old sister threw her brother out of the window. ...

We don't want to see such a tragedy, but if we think about the reasons, we all know that it is biased.

Eccentricity is really terrible. We adults recall what it was like when grandparents or parents treated their brothers and sisters better than themselves when we were young.

Have I been hurt in my heart? Then why do you treat my children like this?

Second, why are some parents biased?

1, the influence of traditional ideas

Many parents will be influenced by the traditional concept of "preferring sons to daughters", believing that only sons can provide for the elderly, and they are also convinced that "raising children to prevent old age".

So if the first child gives birth to a daughter, she will make persistent efforts to give birth to a son.

In this way, if the second child gives birth to a son, it is obvious that she will not care too much about her daughter, and even think that it is natural for her sister to take care of her younger brother.

2, afraid of trouble

There is a saying that crying children have milk to eat.

Children know this well, so if they have any needs, they will get their parents' attention by crying.

Sometimes parents are afraid of trouble and try their best to satisfy noisy and demanding children, but they ignore more clever children. Sometimes they tell clever children not to provoke another child.

3. Take care of the weak.

Sometimes parents will instinctively favor weak children, thinking that children are in poor health and need more care.

For example, in the Korean drama Watch, my sister Zhu Jin got all the care of her mother when she was in poor health, and her youngest daughter Athena Chu was often sad. Her mother never cared about her and didn't like her.

Times have changed, and raising children now is by no means as simple as "feeding". We need to make their physical and mental health develop, especially for families with two children. If you can't handle the relationship between Dabao and Bauer, one of them is likely to get hurt, and psychological problems will arise over time.

Third, how to raise a second child correctly?

1, pay more attention to Dabao

At the moment when the second child arrived, many parents put all their attention on Bauer. But in fact, Bauer is still young and doesn't have much emotional perception. It's Dabao instead. When they grow up, they already have emotional needs.

Therefore, please try to make Dabao feel that even if there are two treasures at home, Dabao's life has not been greatly affected.

For example, take Dabao out more, just like before.

When Deng Chao and Sun Li gave birth to Xiaohua's sister before, they asked their eldest son to wait and name her Sister.

This is a sign of concern for Dabao. Later, there was a character named "Little Flower Sister" in the cartoons I often watched, so Bauer was called "Little Flower Sister". So, wait, the relationship with Sister Xiaohua has always been very good.

Pay attention to your discretion when you speak.

Many family members don't attach importance to their children, such as "Your parents don't want you if they have a younger brother" and "Your parents like your younger brother but don't like you."

In the eyes of adults, this is a joke, but parents are the children's world. If you say this to your children, it is equivalent to someone saying to you, "I will take the house you bought tomorrow." How do you feel? Are you angry?

So parents must pay attention to their own words and deeds and the words and deeds of others. If they hear others talking to their children like this, they should first stop them in front of them and explain to them.

3. Establish family rules and strictly implement them.

As mentioned earlier, many parents are afraid of trouble and tend to be more inclined to children who are often noisy, which will unconsciously give another child the impression of "eccentricity".

I suggest that families with a second child make family rules.

Don't think that elder sister or brother should give way to younger brother or sister. If two children have conflicts, they should be allowed to solve the problems themselves. If they do bad things, they should be rewarded and punished according to family rules.

All children are equal. Don't blame either side. This is also more democratic and can exercise children's ability to solve problems.

In fact, it is very difficult for a mother to carry a small pocket alone, so she has always had high respect for the second-born mother, but I still hope that the second-born mother can pay more attention to the psychological changes of the two children in the process of raising them, so that they can develop physically and mentally healthily.