Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Words to calm girls down, warm words to make girls happy.

Words to calm girls down, warm words to make girls happy.

1; In the morning, my wife asked me to transfer 6000 yuan to her, and I accidentally transferred it to the female boss. Before I could speak, she called me to the office. After entering the door, she smiled and said, "You, just give me my salary back ... I appreciate it, but you can take the money back." He threw me a card and said, "Take it yourself!" ? I paused: "Can't I transfer money?" The female boss whispered, "It's easy to leave clues!" I have to withdraw money. After inserting the card, it naturally entered the birthday. No problem, by the way, the balance is still 1.8 million. I only got my 6000 back and returned the card to the female boss in the office. ? The female boss was slightly surprised: "Are you sure you don't want to ...? "I waved my hand and said," Nothing is gained for nothing. " The female boss didn't speak, so she threw another card, followed by two, three ... She smiled: "Loyalty is not enough to betray. Check these bank cards! " I turned and left, crying as I walked. I know my noble character cost me millions. 2; The girl my brother-in-law likes suddenly called him. The girl asked, are you married? My brother-in-law is complicated: married. The girl said, can you tell me your wife's contact information? I want to talk to her. My brother-in-law is puzzled. Does she want my wife to leave me? Be nice to me? As soon as she heard that her brother-in-law didn't speak, she explained it at once and forgot about it. I am married, but my husband is ugly, so I just want to ask her how to get along with an ugly husband! My brother-in-law hung up at that time: this is too disrespectful. 3; There is a lovely post-00 girl in our workshop. I fell in love with her at first sight. But I'm an honest man, so I'm embarrassed to confess. My friend gave me advice, saying: You wait for her to go to see where she lives after work, and then accompany her to work every day. I think it makes sense to know about the neighborhood where she lives. I met her not long after I went in. In order not to be suspected by her, I shouted nervously: collect waste. Today, my best friend and her husband went fishing by the river. After killing her husband, they started fishing. After fishing for a long time, her husband caught a few small fish. So her husband changed to earthworm fishing. As soon as he threw the fishing rod into the river, it suddenly sank. Her husband lifted the fishing rod, and his best friend saw that the fishing rod was bent and swayed badly from side to side. His best friends: Chinese fish and big fish. Her husband had a hard time lifting the big fish out of the water, but it turned out to be a snake. Later, I released the snake and dared not eat it. 5; After work, I ride my three-wheeled battery car to the class reunion. After several rounds of drinking on the wine table, I began to talk about my income. Some people say that their annual income is 0.2 million/200 thousand, while others say that their company is thriving. When it was my turn, I said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I can't. I'm still receiving state subsidies! ! "Someone hit the nail on the head:" It's a minimum living allowance! ! "I nodded proudly. As soon as everyone heard this, they immediately became interested and sat around and asked me how I did it. Especially the one who just boasted 500 thousand and said, "Brother, find a way to get us one." I said your annual salary is 500 thousand, which is not easy to operate. That classmate said, "Nothing, look at the real situation when reviewing the materials ..." The real situation is that the goods won't worry about me borrowing money from him or anything. My wife especially likes to go back to her mother's house. I don't remember going back several times from the 30th to today.

I brought bacon sausage for the first time, peanuts and walnuts for the second time, and earned 500 red envelopes with my son for the third time. Early this morning, my grandfather called me and gave me a lecture: can't you control your wife? What are you doing running around all day? She ruined everything for me. 7; When I came home from work, my mother dragged me to the computer. He pointed to the boy in the computer and said to me: This handsome guy is a state-owned enterprise executive with a high degree of education and a rich second generation. I looked at the photo carefully, and it was really handsome. I blushed and said, mom, it's okay, I think. Before I finished, my mother nodded: well, it's decided. Introduce to your sister. 8; Because of my good behavior, our boss brought me two bottles of 82 Lafite. I kept a bottle for myself, so I took a bottle to honor my father-in-law. My father-in-law was very happy and received me warmly. When chatting, my father-in-law said: My daughter has a bad temper, but there is no need to coax. After a long time, she will naturally come to her senses. So, if there is a quarrel, let her calm down for a while! I nodded: OK, I see! A few days later, we really quarreled! It's been five years now, and I wonder if my wife has calmed down. 9; _ Zi is one year old today. According to our custom, let him grasp the week. He bypassed toys, money, snacks, mom, grandparents and grabbed me. Father said, "Well, this boy will be the boss in the future!" " "I don't understand:" What do you mean? Father: "He caught the only able-bodied man in his family today. Isn't the boss just trying to catch young men? " 10; I opened a flower shop, and the content sent by my circle of friends is all my own flowers. But the flower shop has been open for half a year, and the business has not been so good. I am in a hurry. On this day, my friend was lovelorn. He sent a circle of friends: I don't want to live without you! Many comments below are to persuade him not to do stupid things, life is precious and so on. Only I said: buy a bunch of flowers, buy a bunch of flowers and I will be your girlfriend! Then we were together, and now the child is three years old! ?

A text message to calm your girlfriend down.

If she really loves you, then don't say too many good things. Of course, it's okay to coax girls, but you can talk to her seriously and ask her if you really don't love me and want to leave me. If she doesn't talk, don't say anything and turn around and leave. Don't look back at what she did. If she calls your name, she loves you. If she says nothing, then don't say anything.

If you calm girls down.

1, baby, I already know I was wrong. Forgive me. You know we've known each other for a long time. I am the kind of person who is particularly impulsive, because you also call me a pig brain. Why do you care about a pig?

For my pity, can you forgive me once? I believe this is your last forgiveness.

3. Little sister, are you waiting for someone here? Are you waiting for your prince charming? You see, although I didn't ride a white horse, I rode a white electric car.

Listen, listen, no matter who makes you angry with my children, you should resist. If your girlfriend is still angry, you can continue to clap your hands.

5. Don't be angry again. Although you are cute when you are angry, you are not beautiful. Frowning will deepen your eyebrows a lot.

6. Such a lovely little sister, why are you so angry? Your temperament doesn't match your looks at all, does it? Do I have to verify it? Must I return it when I want it?

7. Every time I see you bulging, my heart will cheer up. Who is such a lovely lady?

8. Beautiful lady, can you give me another chance? I will let you feel my efforts again and feel the happiness with me again.

When I first saw you, I was conquered by your arrogance. The first time I saw you, I knew I would be bullied by you for life.

10 queen, are you cold? Why don't you ask Mammy Yung to give me some injections?

Second, funny and provocative words

Why does my heart beat faster every time I see you? Do you want to take some quick-acting pills before I see you? Otherwise, my heart beats too fast. Knock, knock, listen.

I have to say, a boy who can make girls happy will certainly have a smooth journey on the road of love. If not, we can't guarantee.