Do you have any classic jokes?

1. Snake, ant, spider, and centipede were playing mahjong at home. After 8 rounds, the cigarettes were finished. Everyone discussed who should buy the cigarettes. The snake said: I have no feet, I won’t go. Let the ant go. The ant said: The spider has eight legs, which are more than mine. Let the spider go. The spider said: No matter how many legs I have, I can't compare to the centipede. Let the centipede go. The centipede was helpless and thought: There is no way. Who told me to have more legs? So the centipede went out to buy cigarettes... More than an hour later, the centipede did not come back. Two hours later, the centipede did not come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone asked the spider to go out and have a look. As soon as the spider went out, it saw the centipede. Sitting at the door, the spider was very angry and asked: Why don't you go? Everyone is waiting. The centipede was also anxious and said: Nonsense! You have to wait for me to put on my shoes!!! 3. Late one night, a young woman When passing a mental hospital, suddenly there was a "wow" sound from behind. The woman turned around and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman was so frightened that she ran away, and the man behind her chased her. No, the front It was a dead end. The woman was so desperate that she knelt on the ground, cried and begged: "You can do whatever you want, just don't kill me." The man smiled slyly and said, "Really? Now you start chasing me." " 4. There was a lunatic asylum. One day, the dean wanted to see how many people had recovered from their illness, so he asked the nurse to draw a large door on the wall. All the patients were banging against the wall like crazy. The dean He was very disappointed. Suddenly he saw that only one patient was indifferent. The director was very happy and ran over to him and asked him: "Don't you want to go out with them?" The patient replied: "These idiots, I have the key here!" 5. Mental Hospital There, two people were talking: "How is my novel?" "Yes, but there are too many people." At this time, the nurse shouted to them: "Hey, you two put the phone book back quickly." 6. Someone I'm good at using laptops. I heard from a friend that a mouse is easier to use than a trackball, so I borrowed one from my friend to try at home. Because I couldn't figure it out, I called my friend. Person A: A mouse is harder to use than a trackball. I spent a long time skating on it. , it only moved a little, and the buttons were on the back, which was very inconvenient... 7. A warship was sailing on the sea. One night, a sailor suddenly found a light in the distance. He immediately reported to the captain: "Report to the captain." , there is a ship sailing towards us not far away. If we don't change the course, we will collide with it!" When the captain heard this, he immediately called, "Call, call! I am the captain, please move your ship to the channel immediately. Move 10 degrees to the east!" The other party replied: "Call! Please move 10 degrees to the west!" Captain: "I am a warship, you dare to ask me to move!" The other party immediately said: "Test! I am a lighthouse. If you have the guts, why don't you give it a try?"

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