Humorous jokes of boyfriend and girlfriend

Humorous jokes of boyfriend and girlfriend

Two people who are hostile to each other laugh when they meet, and there are countless examples of turning enemies into friends because of humor. Really smart people always rely on humor to make social interaction smoother and more humane. I collected some humorous jokes about boyfriends and boyfriends for you. Let's have a look.

Humorous jokes of boyfriend and girlfriend

1) A boy likes a girl very much! So the boy summoned up the courage to confess to the girl! But the girl turned him down mercilessly! Boys, don't give up! I have been expressing my love to girls. Finally, one day, the girl was entangled and couldn't stand it, so she said in a pleading tone: Where did I attract you? Can't I change it?

2) One day, I drew water in the canteen of the unit. Accidentally, the water splashed on my hand, and a MM behind me took my hand and asked with concern, "Did you burn your hand?" Although it hurts, in order to show my manhood, I just bite my teeth and say, "Nothing, nothing." Pretend nothing happened. MM suddenly turned to the people waiting in line behind her and said, "Go home, the water hasn't been boiled today.

3) A: Old classmate, long time no see. What's your annual salary now? B: Wanjia: 200,000 to 300,000 a month. Yes, this is the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do? B: Dreaming.

4) It's not my intention to send text messages, but my intention is to send blessings. I hope you don't mind without your consent. Without any intention, I just hope you can get what you want. Accept my kindness and it's up to you whether to reply or not!

5) After the prisoner escaped from prison, he entered the room and saw the young couple lying in bed. The prisoner kicked her husband out of bed, tied him to a chair, tied his wife to the bed and kissed her neck, then went to the bathroom. The husband said, "honey, this is a prisoner." He may be locked up for a long time. Don't resist, just let him be satisfied. " This man is very dangerous. If he is angry, he may kill us. Wife: "I'm glad you think so. Yes, he hasn't touched a woman for a long time, but he didn't kiss my neck just now. He whispered in my ear that he thought you were sexy and asked me if there was any lubricant in the bathroom. " Be strong, dear, I love you! "

6) Swimmer: The lifebuoy produced by your factory made me learn to swim quickly. Director: I'm flattered. Swimmer: The lifebuoy deflated at the sight of water, so I had to swim as hard as I could, and finally I learned to swim.

A Dai broke up with his girlfriend. Ask your girlfriend: Do you think our relationship can be saved? Girlfriend replied: it's a key on the phone! A Dai: Is it redial? Girlfriend: No, it's speakerphone.

8) A couple is watching the dance in the ballroom. The husband said with emotion: this world is really strange. Every ugly fool has a beautiful wife. The wife smiled and said, honey, you really know how to kiss up.

9) Mother and daughter wash dishes together, and father and son watch TV in the living room. Suddenly there was a sound of breaking dishes, and then there was silence. Son: It must be mom! Dad asked, why? Son: Because she didn't swear.

A handsome young man walked into an old lady's room. He apologized and said, I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room. The old lady replied, not necessarily, but forty years late.

1 1) The female secretary got into the car of the county magistrate, and the county magistrate could not help but reach out and touch the white thigh of the female secretary. The female secretary asked the county magistrate: Do you remember what Deng Xuan wrote on the first page? The county magistrate blushed and quickly stopped. When I got home, the county magistrate couldn't wait for the first page of Deng Xuan. I saw that it said: Be bold, be quick ... The county magistrate clapped his legs and shouted: Mom, how many opportunities will you lose without strong theoretical knowledge?

12) A driver was pushing a car in the street. The traffic police asked: Is the car broken or out of gas? Driver: No, I forgot my driver's license today.

13) wife: am I beautiful? Husband blurted out: very beautiful. After ten minutes, my wife asked, are you afraid of hurting me when you say I am beautiful? Husband smiled and shook his head: no, I'm afraid you'll hurt me.

Classic boyfriend and girlfriend humorous jokes

1) Man: "Miss, can you lend me five dollars?" Woman: "What are you going to do?" Man: "I'm going to call my mother and tell her that I saw a peerless beauty today."

2) A beautiful woman seduced the bartender in a bar, and the beautiful woman put her finger on the bartender's lips to let him suck. Finished, beauty: Please tell your manager that the toilet paper in the ladies' room is used up.

3) Two people take the double-decker bus and one goes upstairs. After a while, he hurried down: never sit on it, there is no driver there!

4) A teenager came to buy condoms. The boss was surprised. He said, I want to give a gift to my girlfriend. The boss said: Do you want to wrap it up? He said, no, it was originally used to wrap gifts.

5) The young man stroked his girlfriend's thigh in a miniskirt: Dear, I love you! Girlfriend is infatuated with being caressed: Come again, higher! The young man raised his voice: Dear, I love you!

6) A couple was watching a dance in the ballroom, and the husband said with emotion: It's a strange world. Every ugly fool has a beautiful wife. The wife smiled and said, honey, you really know how to kiss up.

7) The police officer who executed the death penalty walked into the cell, shaking his raincoat and announcing the order to the prisoner. The prisoner said in surprise: You have to go to the execution ground in such a heavy rain! Officer: What do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain!

8) Lao Wang sat in the restaurant for a long time and saw other guests eating with relish. But he still didn't have a waiter to greet him, so he got up and asked the boss, Excuse me, am I sitting in the audience?

9) Couples stare at each other in the restaurant. You're so good. I want to eat you. Girl: I want to bite you too. The waiter standing at the table coughed and asked, What would you like to drink?

10) My husband once in a while. After two days, my wife took a bite and said, What's wrong with you? It's either light or salty. The husband replied: this time I made up the salt I put less last time.

1 1) "I met a girl the other day. I loved her at first sight. " "That's great! But why don't you go after her? " "I glanced at her again."

12) The child pointed to the person in front and said to his mother: There is not a hair on that person's head! Mom: Keep your voice down so that others can hear you. Child: Doesn't he know?

13) A Jun showed his jokes to his deskmate, who laughed after watching them. A Jun asked excitedly: Is my joke good? The deskmate replied: Can this be called a joke?

14) A nearsighted passenger was wandering by the river when he saw a sign standing in the middle. Unfortunately, the words in the middle could not be read clearly, so he had to take off his shoes and wade into the river, only to see the sign saying: beware of crocodiles.

15) A: alas, I failed. It doesn't matter! Failure is not shameful! Hmm! Failure is not shameful! Yes! Because failure is shameful!

A young man and his beloved girl walked hand in hand. When they passed the booth selling kebabs, the air was filled with intoxicating fragrance. The girl stopped and looked at the young man imploringly. The young man asked, do you like it? There is a longing in the girl's voice: of course. So, the young man said, let's go back and pass by! "

17) A Dai said happily to Agua: I fell in love with the lady in the shoe and sock cabinet in the department store, and I decided to buy a pair of socks every day to cultivate feelings with her. Agua bitter face: you are so lucky! I fell in love with the lady in the gem cabinet.

18) Strange men and women were arranged to live together by a travel agency, and there was nothing to say that night. In the early morning, the female silk scarf was blown to the tree, and the man tried to climb the tree and take it off. Unexpectedly, the woman cursed: you can climb such a high tree, but you can't get up with such a low bed!

There is a hunter in A Dai. Whenever his wife Jane loses her temper, she hides aside and Jane shuts up. The neighbor couldn't help asking Ahua: Does he really dare to kill you? Jane: No, I'm afraid he will kill himself!

20) A Dai: Long time no see. What have you been up to recently? Agua: I started writing full-time last year. A Dai: Not bad. How much have you sold so far? Agua: I sold my car and house!

2 1) The young couple quarreled and threw pillows from upstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. After a while, the quilt also fell, and the beggar was ecstatic and shouted to the upstairs: Brother, do the good thing to the end and throw that woman down!

Humorous jokes of boyfriend and girlfriend

1) My boyfriend asked me, "Which bag do you like?" I looked at it: "Red." Boyfriend smiled: "Fool, that's not a famous brand. Don't be afraid, just pick what you like. It doesn't matter how expensive it is. " My heart warmed up and I pointed to Lu, who was carried by a passing woman: "Just her." My boyfriend gave me a kiss, then started the motorcycle and rushed to the woman.

2) When eating, the mother told her daughter, "Baby, you should eat more vegetables of all colors. The book says,' The more kinds of colors, the more complete nutrition'. " Then she pointed to the food on the table and asked, "How many colors do you see?" The daughter replied without thinking: "six kinds, counting the burnt one, is seven kinds!" " "

3) I went back to my dormitory last night and saw a buddy eating instant noodles in a hurry. While eating, he looked at his watch and said, "MD, it's about to expire ..." I: .....

4) "Didn't you say you always wanted to marry me?" "yes, I did it ... but it's not straight yet!"

5) When a buddy got married, he posted a red envelope at the door, but he didn't give it to the door. The groom shouted, "silly wife, this is all our family's money." Hearing this, the bride understood and went to open the door herself.

6) The company has a handsome guy, burly and tall. My MM, who once fell in love with the company, was also fallen in love with him. I am jealous that all aspects of his business have also been appreciated by the leaders. So one day I invited him to dinner. After dinner, I grabbed his hand and said, "Actually, I like you for a long time. I know this kind of love is right. You won't discriminate against homosexuals, will you? " He ran away in horror, and I was always kind to him for the next few days. Then he resigned, and I found that I was too fucking witty!

7) When I went to the kindergarten to pick up my son, I found that he had been staring at the girl who was eating candied haws across the street, and his saliva was almost on the ground. I asked him, "Do you like it?" The son nodded. I said, "then dad will buy it for you." The son hesitated. After a while, he finally made up his mind: "Dad, it's wrong to sell children."

8) I introduced an object to my colleague. The next day, she came to the company, threw her bag on my desk and shouted at me angrily, "What girlfriend, what do you recommend to me!" " I asked innocently, "What's the matter, is it not to my taste?" She roared: "What bird, I asked him if he had a room?" Do you know what he said? ! "I asked," he. . . What did he say! "My colleague said," He said he was ready. Let's go! "

9) The female colleague complained in front of the computer: "It's been several days, why haven't you come yet? Really annoying? " A colleague suddenly replied, "Don't scare me. . . Was it not a safe period at that time? " "I mean express delivery. . . ""oh. . . "The air in the office is a little quiet now.

10) Recently, a beautiful woman came to the company and threw herself at the boss. She wants to have an affair. The boss said ungrateful to her, if I'm not married, I can still consider it. I'm married. Are you attracted by my money or by me? If you have a crush on my money, that's impossible. If you have a crush on me, I'll go home and discuss it with my wife and see if I can apply to sleep with you for one night. The beauty left with a black face and didn't come to work the next day. The boss hugged the female secretary in the office and said, demo, TM found out that she is my wife's best friend.

1 1) A female colleague in the office suddenly said, "I always feel that my son doesn't look like me. Could it be that my husband is derailed? " Everyone didn't react at first, and suddenly they all looked at her in surprise. . .

12) I once went to the station to meet the account manager, but I was surprised to find that I brought a beautiful woman. The beauty dragged a suitcase behind the manager, and the account manager introduced: Xiao Zhang, the financial manager. Talking about the hotel all the way, I decided to buy a big suite, and no one objected! On the way back, the driver said, "Boss, you should check the room. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you made a mistake? " Me: "silly, people are traveling with suitcases. How can they be wrong?" ! "

13) The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused. Spider asks: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who fool around on the Internet all day are not good people.

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